My girlfriend going through my phone, drawers, closet, and computer in 2 months?...unacceptable? red flag?

[Anonymous]

Hey I know feelings come on fast with the right person and you don't want to think they are doing anything on the side, but I haven't given this girl any reason that I can think of for this behavior. I left my place with her in it a couple times after dating for about 2 months now and she called me stating she found some bikini calendar in my bottom drawer and wants an explanation, she stated she found girls underwear in my laundry basket in my closet, and then searched my phone while I was sleeping in the other morning. Today she searched my internet history and favorites and questioned certain sites I was visiting. I mean, is this a control mechanism? I'm constantly on the defensive here. For the record I never go through anyone's stuff, and have had multiple opportunities to go through her phone, but I don't since it is not mine. How worried should I be of this ? Normal for girls?

[mysteri0us]

You should be really worry. She doesn't respect your personal belongings. She digs around trying to find dirt on you. Sooner or later she will find reasons to break up with you. It seems like she don't trust you well enough or she maybe that clingy/jealousy type. For the record, I cannot have a relationship with some girl who treat me like a suspect. You have to make boundaries.

[Asker]

For the record, I have literally told other flings I had prior to her to leave me alone and not come over or see me. I like continuitiy and hate drama. But I tell you this stuff is making me lose intereest and now I'm thinking of doing something to get out. I don't like someone constantly snooping around my stuff and then hits me with "what is this" explain this lines. Def not fun.

[standUP]

typically and when I say that meaning ALWAYS ! jealous people have something more to hide, that's why thet know all the good places to look for things, be very skepical of that one... she maybe a cheater ! seriously , been true from my experiances seems like I attract cheaters for some fukd up reason

[knowmeyourself]

This maybe true, yes.

[selfishstars]

Yes, this is completely unacceptable and a huge red flag. She sounds incredibly insecure, mistrusting, controlling, and she is invading your privacy. If I were you, I would end things now. This is not normal behavior and is certainly not healthy behavior for a relationship.

[Asker]

Does this mean she just really cares and is scared? I feel bad in a way... but I feel good so I don't go through her stuff, never even thought of it. But now I'm like, if she's like this, maybe I should be? Like she's wants to find something... I mean if anyone looks hard enough you can find SOMETHING that will bother you, but who the hell cares if things are going good...WTF! Do girls just freak when things are smooth sailing?

[selfishstars]

How much she cares is sort of irrelevant. Someone might exhibit these kinds of behaviours and really care, or they might exhibit these behaviours because they're possessive and/or afraid to be alone. But either way, caring about someone a lot is not a good excuse to do these things. She is insecure and does not trust you, and is using that as an excuse to invade your privacy and try to control you (it's none of her business if you have a bikini calender or look at p*rn or whatever on your

[selfishstars]

computer, so she has no right to question you about these things). If she's acting like this this early into your relationship, I don't see it as likely that its going to get better. This isn't behavior that I'd be willing to put up with.

[realmucoy94]

obviously there is no trust. NEVER let a girl go through your stuff like that unless she has a good solid reason to not trust you to lead her to think that she can do that

[Deft_maiden]

Red flag! Not good she has paranoia/ trust issues. You don't need that baggage.

[Mesonfielde]

Oh my.

Eh, it's absolutely not normal, and in case it's worth the effort, the only thing you can do in this case is clearly tell her what she is doing is wrong and if she continues then you'll leave asap.

At least that's how I see it - I mean, would you stay with someone THIS possessive and controlling? Doubt it.

[zagor]

For God's Sake Get Out!

If she's doing this after just two months imagine what it would be like in the future.

In the meantime put a password on you computer, and if she wants to use it, make her a non-admin account.

[Anonymous]

Huge red flag! She does not trust you! No normal girl does that!

[Anonymous]

Lack of trust is a big red flag. She has issues.

[Ezmotts]

Big red flag, watch out.

[Shadoww]

Red flag! She's just REALLY protective.