Why would a girl that shows interest, suddenly decide to give a cold shoulder?

[Anonymous]

So there's this girl from the highschool I'm at, and we never really hanged out or talked there at all. Never batted an eye on her (she does look nice though). Then, a few weeks ago, during semi-lockdown (cafes still working till 6pm), she suddenly starts messaging me. She sends all sorts of flirty messages, laughing at my jokes and keeping the convos going. She wants to chat past midnight up to 3 in the morning. This goes on for a week, so I ask her if she wants to go somewhere for drinks. She says sorry I can't now, and when I ask when she can, she responds "when lockdown ends". So I thought that was a simple rejection. Alright, I don't message for a few days. She starts messaging me again 4 days later. She invites me to a party a couple of her friends are having for the winter holidays. Some messages happen in the week between, but she starts being weird and taking hours before responding. There, at the party, she doesn't really talk to me or anything. Straight up acts as if I weren't there. Just a hi and later a bye. I tried talking to her but she just gave quick responses to shut the convo off. What the hell is this chicks deal? Did I do something I'm too dumb to see or is she just bonkers?

[blueRRmoon]

Who knows tbh. Every girl is different. She could just be an attention whore, but that’s an easy cop out sort of answer.


But if I wasn’t being lazy on the topic... I would say something like:


A. If she’s a party chaser / always looking for a good time -
Just walk away. If you’re looking for clear boundaries, understanding, maturity, communication, and dating for a solid foundation in friendship and more, she’s not your girl. The whole relationship will just revolve around keeping up appearances, sex, and manipulation. She won’t be figured out over night. Party chasers have complex underlying issues, more-so for woman than men I believe. Most of the girls in my school who pursued men had some severe insecurities, and only pursued to initiate the man to chase them. Then they would brag about it. If she invites you to a party and gives you a cold shoulder, then she’s probably just pissed that you didn’t try harder to get her attention. Usually those types will get pissed if they put in effort to initiate conversation and don’t get the payout they feel they deserve (aka ass kissing), because they feel that you should feel lucky that they chose to talk to you. The lack of you texting her dampened her ego so she silently punished you. Also, the fact that she didn’t want to hang out with you one on one because of “covid,” but then invites you to a party is a good enough proof that she isn’t honest and upfront. Not worth the effort tbh. On the other hand though...


B. If she’s more conservative (I can relate to this one a bit more) -
Then she probably went out of her comfort zone to pursue you because she genuinely had a strong liking to you. Also, B girls would most likely deny a one on one invitation and invite you to a group gathering instead if they’re shy. She could have honestly had concerns about Covid, but then also liked you enough to feel like you were worth the risk. If that’s the case, then she probably similarly lost motivation / interest because she wanted you to take a bit more initiative, but for a different (less self absorbed) reason than the girls in part A.
If a girl ever initiates conversation, that girl would probably then weigh how much interest a guy has in them by seeing how the man acts when they hand over the power to them.
From my perspective, if I were to ever feel the need to back off, it would most likely be because I began to feel that I was initiating too much of the attraction.
If the guy doesn’t take charge or doesn’t have an issue with me not reaching out, I take that as an answer that the level of interest wasn’t mutual and then come to the conclusion that it isn’t worth further pursuing. Thus, also resulting in having no need to progress the situation up to physical face-to-face interaction (the party).
(Although I’m shy, I would personally just straight out communicated that though... I prefer to not waste people’s time out of respect, and definitely would never ghost anyone without at least distinct clarification first.
However, some people just make mistakes).
Girls in this category are most likely “feelers,” and wouldn’t like forcing or manipulating anything that doesn’t feel right from the jump.
Sex would only come AFTER a deep connection.
B girls want long term, communication, love / romance, genuine companionship.
But for girls in A, they use their body/sex to try to create a connection and manipulate/ control a man. They want a trophy, a thrill, a bandaid fix to their insecurities.


Long story short, you should just ask what the party was all about and go from there. You can usually tell the difference between A and B. If it’s a genuine response with an apology, she’s B. If there’s an “lol” attached (if there’s even a response at all), she’s A and is probably already on to the next victim.


Hope this helps. Good luck.

[blueRRmoon]

Also, I forgot to mention... that she could have been simply bored from lockdown, flirted for fun, and then changed her mind once she got a sense of freedom again lol.

[Cataphract]

She's playing some sort of a game. Turn it against her. If she contacts you again, your only reply "that was a dick move at the party" and see what she says. If she starts apologizing just be honest. Say that you don't know what game she's playing, but you're out.
Two things can happen after that. One, she can change her behaviour and go out with you. Or two, she will never contact you again. Regardless, it is a win-win situation for you. A third option is a possibility if she's a bitch, she'll try to pretend like nothing happened and continue her behaviour, in which case you should ignore her completely until she stops contacting you.

[Avicenna]

That happens frequently in high school. Don’t let it bother you.

[Anonymous]

High School girls turn ona dime and they play games because they dont know any better

[Iron_Man]

Sounds like a flake