Shy girls, how do you act when a guy is annoying you?

[Anonymous]

OK so I like this girl who is a bit shy and I tend to be very outgoing. I like talking to her, she will humor me and talk back, tease me and be sarcastic with me. Thing is though, as shy as she is, she initiates conversations with other people she knows, seems relaxed and to genuinely enjoying the conversations, laughing and things like that. I have to go up to her every time and initiate a conversation and sometimes she just seems annoyed but if 3 seconds later anybody else talks to her, her mood shifts from annoyed to happy. I've tried to act like she does, being kinda distant, kinda ignoring her when she talks to me and she gets upset. One time I even told her to stop talking to me if I made her so uncomfortable and go talk to her other friends and she told me "she was hurt", so what the hell am I supposed to do here, damned if I talk to her, damned if I don't. I see her being all happy with some people and when I approach, its like I suck out all her enthusiasm, what to do?

[Anonymous]

I'm generally shy and when my boyfriend and I first met, he wasn't sure what to do with me, because while I'd smile and laugh and be all sarcastic and what not, I wasn't really opening up, I was still quiet and he didn't know what to talk to me about, unfortunately it took probably 3 months in our relationship for me to warm up to him, not saying it's that way with her, just saying, it may take her some time and the reason she gets annoyed is she's nervous and she's not entirely sure what to talk to you about, especially if you two like different things. I'd say go ahead and ask her out, maybe that's what she's waiting for, a major part of her wants to be more than friends and just doesn't know how to say anything because it's her personality. If anything tease her lightly saying she can just be herself(though that could be a tricky line). Don't try to act like her, just act like you, be you. If you want, ask her, what's up and why she changes with you. Better than trying to guess.

Hope things work out.

[evil_dentist]

I currently act this way towards a guy who I really don't like. The guy in question has a similar temperament - really outgoing, likes to draw attention to himself, tends to initiate conversation with me etc. I just don't like attention from 'him' because he is completely the opposite guy I'd want to attract.

Since not all girls are like, things may be different in your case- but a big warning sign for me is that instead of being buoyant around you, she is sullen - good indicator that she is NOT interested in your company at all.

[Anonymous]

When you say annoyed, what exactly do you mean? Does she make a face or is she just super reserved and you've mistaken that for annoyed? I know a guy who does this to me, where he's either super reserved near me or looks at me as if I'd done something wrong but is fine with everyone else, and it's just so confusing.

But I'd say, don't try to imitate her by ignoring her and stuff, because that only makes things more distant, right? If she's kinda shy, I'd say she's caught off guard by it and may actually be annoyed with herself because every time you talk to her, she feels like her social skills are pretty terrible or something and is just annoyed by the *situation*. But if she talks to you first, she really would want a conversation out of it, if she didn't, she wouldn't have said anything at all, therefore she could be annoyed by the fact that you're now avoiding her. :P A complicated world we live in...

[Anonymous]

I know exactly how this is, because I am similar in the same way as to being shy around people ESPECIALLY a guy I like. If I don't like him, usually I am still shy but not to the extreme and I will initiate conversation. However if I like him, I will sit there and fiddle with my hair and act quiet and extra poised. I only respond if he initiates conversation. Sometimes I'll try to push myself to chat, but unless I'm tipsy I will be totally quiet. It's different online though, I'm a total talkative person. :) Just initiate more, and give her HUGE hints you like her.

[Anonymous]

I think it's just a matter of her not being comfortable with you yet. While I'm not sure if I'm shy exactly, I know I'm not a big fan of small talk/typical talking, teasing, flirting. With her friends, she probably feels comfortable because she knows them. With you, she maybe unsure of how to act so it comes off as annoyed. I feel like I come off that way to people (guys in particular) a lot of the time but really I just don't know how to respond to people. It has nothing to do with me liking them or not. It's something I wish I could change about myself and if she likes you (which she might. at the very least she's not annoyed with you), she probably feels the same way.

[AmberChick]

She sounds completely nervous around you. Either that, or she really doesn't like you. Can go either way.

[Asker]

What would you recommend? me, her and a group of friends are hanging out later and if there's something worse than the thought of her not liking me is the thought of her thinking I'm annoying and I won't go away but since she is shy, she probably wouldn't tell me if I was. She has told me I'm not annoying her, but her actions tell me otherwise since she just doesn't seem invested in the conversation like she does with others.

[AmberChick]

I don't know her, so I really can't see why she is acting that way. You have already asked her if she thinks you are annoying and she said no. You can try asking her one more time a variance of that question like, Are you sure you are not mad at me? But, she might get even more annoyed. If she is not telling you what the problem is, then you should just try and AVOID the situation until she comes up to you. Good luck.

[AmberChick]

Or, what you can do is lay it all out on the line ask her out and if she rejects you then leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion,when shy girl isn't shy with you,then you can worry she doesn't like you,but if she acts strange (like in your case) she probably feels something towards you or just think she is not your league.Anyway,maybe it's time just to ask why does she do that?Or say how do you feel about her.

[TimtheEnchanter]

Maybe she just doesn't know how to act around you and she is a little put off about how you are so outgoing and straightforward. For me, being kinda shy, if someone I'm not very close to starts up a conversation I freeze up and talk very little.