I’m a 22 year old female, and I consider myself a professional female. Over this Labor Day weekend, my two close (female) friends and I went to a hotel/resort that had a casino and hotel. The hotel was for 21 and older, and that was the way for the entire property. My friends and I rented a pool cabana with a day bed to lay around and relax in, talk about our careers and enjoy a drink. We got settled in and I had someone from the hotel come up to me after about 3 hours and was told that I was not dressed appropriately and needed put on something less revealing or leave the pool area. This pool area is 21+. There were maybe 12 other people there. Two older couples and another group of older females. (Below are photos of the actual swimsuit, not me.) My friends are wearing almost similar swimsuits, although I will openly admit mine is more revealing. So because this was sold to me as a 21+ pool, I didn’t have any swimsuits that covered more. I ended up leaving to go to target and get something different. I want to know, what would you have done or should I speak up at all? Like I said, my friends were similarly dressed, but I feel like I was target specifically. Any insight or ideas would be appreciated.
Updates
+1 y
I want to make one thing super clear before anyone else decides they want to judge me. This was an adult pool, only those 21 and older can to. With that; I wouldn’t have worn this swimsuit to a public pool with families, children etc. I’m a fairly intelligent female, I wouldn’t put myself in a position that would jeopardize my integrity or my career.
I was told to leave a 21+ pool this weekend over my swimsuit?
That is highly inappropriate and a hotel can enforce those rules because again, it is not that kind of establishment. A person who wants to dress rouchy is just asking for sexual attention and there is plenty of swimwear, where a person should and can cover-up. 21+ means you are an adult 21 and over. Just because you are over 21, everybody, including myself do not want to see that. You're just going to entice bad people, men and women included who may want to sexually harass you or others like myself. You cannot say anything because it is you as the consumer who have to read the rules and should always ask questions about an establishment before going there. If you are ever uncertain, you have the company's number, chatroom, or helpdesk to help you with those questions. By your assumption, you got curved out because of that. All forms in hospitality unless noted otherwise (Casinos, etc) are usually family-friendly. Are those outfits family-friendly? No. It looks like an invitation to a whoredom party. And it is no offense to anyone. If that is not how you want to be seen as you don't dress who are your not.
If your friends were dressed similarly, they may target you more because of your body. Not just what you wear. For example. If you look like the 1st pic, they WILL say something. You are basically naked. They may not to a woman who may have little to no breast because she is barely exposing anything. But the will to a woman who is C cup and higher. It is just common sense. To dress in manners that cover your body but don't over expose either.
Sounds like a male perv just proved my point by downvoting me about covering up. Keeps the sickos in their place unless they're bold enough to harass you.
Right and women like this are advertising pussy and boobs and then wonder why they get sexually assaulted. Guys think , she must have sex with many guys , so it makes them aggressive sexually.
@888theGreat To be honest. No. Men who just want to lust and do such things are just as the issue as those who does this. A man does not get a pass for disrespecting women even if she wants or chose to display herself. It's just best to ignore and not offer that attention. If you do, can you blame these women? No. This kind of behavior was advertised, so what do any of you men espect? There are plenty of thirsty men I have seen, encountered, and even witness seeing on families' social media how very thirsty you men are for these women. And many of you are married and have girlfriends. Sickening. And after messing with those girls, you find the next one to mess with.
Asker, the moment you show yourself like this, you already are because that is how you want to be displayed just because it is a pool with 21+ aged adults. Again, the hotel can make whatever rules they want. Just because there are adults 21 and older, that is not an appropriate place for it. Adult pool or not. Just because I see the word "adult" I do NOT expect to be seeing that there. That is not what adults are supposed to do. That is for those who desire and like those lifestyles. You can be an adult pool without all of that being shown by anyone. If I saw that, I would walk away immediately. That is not what I want to see, not even by a man in a speedo. And this is from somebody who used to work in entertainment and amusement. You cannot just dress like that. And even then, you do not have to patronize a place if you feel that discriminated. You must adhere to their rules or you can be kicked out.
But I will say women of integrity do not dress like this. Not even in public. Integrity is having standards and morals. And those outfits are often presented with being moralless and having no consideration of how you would be viewed. By anyone. Not everybody who is 21 and up wears that nor wants to be displayed as such which is why I don't dress like that and I know it is disrespectful to my body, who I represent, and to others. 21 and over does not always mean a strip party. It was obvious it may not have been that kind of pool party. It was small with about 12 people according to what you said. It is clear that your age was part of the issue if these were amongst those much older than you. Either way, it is best to leave it alone. If you weren't bothering anyone, then again what you were wearing was the issue.
It isn't anything I personally would wear... But I'm not going to knock a woman down for having the confidence to wear it. Besides being that this was a casino setting where it is only adults and you are a paying customer who had already been there 3 hours... Yes I would have raised hell. Another thing that comes to mind is damn in certain casino they have entertainment that wear less. Honestly if they didn't have a dress code policy where people can easily read it then they shouldn't have said anything. If you were strictly in the pool area with adults only you should have been left alone... Now walking around the hotel or casino like that I could see there being a problem but no not in an area where you more than likely paid more than $300 for.
@meetkitty123 Thanks girl. We paid for hotel rooms and rented the day bed for the weekend. The pool was low key, quiet, no partying, a very professional environment. There was no dress code or rules other than the typical rules. Rule #1 was Adults 21+ only, no lifeguard, etc. nothing about attire. I wore a cover up through the hotel and didn’t expose myself until I was in the pool area.
That is unreasonable to say you had to leave. Innall honesty any beach/pool would have no real grounds to ask you to leave for wearing it.
Yes it's risque and very revealing however all the parts that are deemed needed to be covered are. Yes it shows off the bum and boobs a lot but it's not showing off the 3 parts that are indecent to show in public.
This I would say is more unreasonable due to the age rating of the resort thing.
I understand your views on not wearing it to a more public less age restricted area.
Just as an aside it's a bit odd how much of a woman's boobs can be on display providing there is coverage on the parts that matter. Sorry irrelevant but just my musings.
Ha. "I'm professional". You wouldn't wear this to a corporate party so stop.
Not every place has the same standards. Some places welcome strippers, whores and women who dress like that. Others don't. If they're not trying to get really young college kids I can see why they don't want that look. Imagine a guy brings his committed girlfriend/wife there. She's not going to like women looking 100% like thirsty whores parading around. Yes, it's true that guys should have self control but I'm not even talking about that being a problem here.
21+ with no posted / disclosed attire rules, then I'd be asking for a discount or partial refund for the inconvenience. But I would probably accept the request and do what you did just to not make waves. They're probably dealing with someone complaining and while that sucks, it shouldn't be their problem either.
Girl, I didn’t even think about that and the policies. When this all went down I was so shocked and it was awkward and embarrassing. Is it something to fight about now that we’re checked out?
Depends on the laws where you live. In UK, it might be classed as breech of contract. There was no verbal ot written concditions of use? Were there any signs saying what is acceptable? If it is just the opinion of one member of staff, I do not think it would stand up in a court of law.
You should have inquired beforehand about what is allowed at a 21+ pool. I understand your expectations but, in that swimsuit, bend over and everyone will have a good view of your asshole. Twist the wrong way and you'll have a nipple popping out. If you want to be naked, that's okay, but just go to a naturist resort and then you won't get in trouble unless you start fucking somebody (or yourself) in public.
First of at 21 your an adult, need no one to get approval for anything what you do is on you, I will admit it is done what revealing and I'm sure it was one of the elder guest that complained and honestly you did the right thing by doing as they ask and I'm sure they have policies in place at to your swim suit of choice, I would let it go you acted very mature in how you responded you should commend yourself, it's done over with and no need to make a big deal over it, as you go through life you will come to know to choose your battles wisely, just next time be more conservatives in you suit in sure you will still look very good in whatever you wear
Firstly that is not a "swimsuit" - it's a micro bikini.
Secondly there are always dress rules in all such locations and you must have forgot to read the small print banning such attire.
Thirdly, it's an unspoken rule that if you don't wear it well, they won't take it well. Not saying you were ugly or disturbing, but you must have annoyed someone bad for them to pull up rules like that. Could be a Karen or Kevin in the midst.
Anyway, check the rules and find out what were broken.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I don't like this at all just gonna be real here the more skin you show the more cheap the bikini looks. Also people don't care if you are successful its how professional you are first impressions matter. Its like If I wanna see a girl naked its at home. Not in public.
Lastly Micro bikini's aren't that sexy they look cheap. I'm not gonna get to the fact I'm not gonna even bother approaching ya looking like that. I'd never wanna see ANY of my nieces sporting a look like that. Its like if its going to give guys and or gals anxiety to just approach you don't wear it. As its not actually sexy. >.>
This seems like an attention seeking post. And before any of you come for me, my body shape is EXACTLY like the two posted. Exactly and it's not that hard with my metabolism, age, and genetics.
There has to be more to the story or something else that influenced their attitude. Because I've seen girls wear much more "revealing" swimsuits. At the beach and pool parties. All young girls my age with firm in shape bodies. I 100% agree on older couples especially women who either ogle or secretly hate. But overall, most swimsuits are "revealing" because they show every part of our bodies. There definitely had to have been something else. Especially since your other friends were dressed similar. I'm certain it was the exposed part under the nipple area.
They probably thought it was going to be exposed. Older people are generally more conservative in clothing and judge younger women's clothing and swimsuit choices. So its probably that.
Well at this point they're just body shaming or secretly had some other issue. I know older people are more conservative but it's unreasonable for those older couples to expect young women to to be fully clothed at a pool. Sorry if I came off a bit harsh in my initial reply.
Awh. It’s okay, I forgive. The swimsuit is exactly as pictured and fit me nearly the same. My nipples were covered, yes you saw boob and my butt was completely out. I own that. My friends wore tops that were very close and it’s frustrating I was the one outed.
Thanks. And yeah, I'm chalking it up to them being unfair to you. Very strange of them to single you out specifically. I'm assuming you're more curvaceous than your friends. But it's still wrong because no one can control their body type. I don't even like dressing in certain clothes near my parents because they always freak out due to their conservative views.
I bet some woman complained because they get jealous and don't want their husband looking. I would have no problem with seeing a woman in swimwear like that, but it's their hotel so they can make up rules and be as repressed as they want.
I don’t remember seeing anyone go back inside the hotel, but I suppose it could have been someone complaining from their room overlooking the pool. I have no idea. It was extremely awkward and embarrassing for me.
I've seen women wear thongs at the beach before. The guys all try to look without their girlfriends catching them. I usually start to get hard. I've never heard any guy's complain unless he's some goody goody who's freaking out because he's uncomfortable with sexy bodies.
What makes you want to wear a micro bikini with your friends though? I'd understand if it's a hotel with your significant other and you're being "seductive" but it's not that comfortable even if it stays in place, its still showing the curves of your boobs and your bare butt apparently. Like read the room ya know no one's trying to be on Instagram 24/7, that's the issue with this mentality is if you're truly hanging out with your friends you don't need to push any limit for approval.
About 30-40% of all girls wear similar bikinis on the beach and volleyball courts (beach) and there are kids everywhere (Florida). Sounds like the older ladies were jealous of your bodies at the pool!
Being it was a 21+-year-old swimming pool if you live in the United States of America file a complaint against them with the Better Business Bureau in regards to their judgment with your swimming pool wear and in the complaint, you feel you were judged while others were in similar swimsuit wear also you could file a complaint with the Attorney General of the State you live in such as ours is Josh Shapiro cause I live in Pennsylvania and explain to both agencies that it was an Adult pool only
It was the older women they were jealous because if you’re wearing a bathing suit like that then you’re smoking hot and they’re old and are not. I agree with you it’s bullshit and you should put the place on blast so hopefully only old people will go their the hotel picked the wrong team they forgot who’s coming up and where I’d imagine most of their money is coming from especially when they old jealous ladies die off
When you're not being a professional female, does that mean you take off the make-up and girl suit and go back to being a man until the next time you have to go to work? Well, the suit IS quite revealing! I guess your next step would be a 3-piece bikini; 2 bottle caps and a cork!
21 and over pool should not be an issue. A regular bikini is revealing only a little less. It's ridiculous you were asked to leave. Even if kids were there i don't think it's inappropriate. You aren't naked and I do not understand why people think someone's body is inappropriate or offensive. I can understand being uncomfortable around nudity but you're definitely covered enough... I've seen way smaller bikinis.
Honestly, I would have asked you to leave, as well. Wearing a swimsuit like that in public is just inappropriate. I don't know how you thought you could go out and about and nobody would say anything about it. That is just a new level of absurdity.
But at the same time, I would go back and ask them why they didn't ask your friends to leave as well.
The age requirement was because of drinking and gambling. It had nothing to do with how much skin exposure was allowed. But since you were in there so long before they tossed you, I would demand to see their dress code.
I have a question: what's a "professional female"? Is that someone who is no longer just an amateur female, because she's mastered the art of being female?
I do not care. Do not dress like a freaking prostitute in public and get some class and maybe you won't get negative reactions. Who cares if it was 21. That is just for drimking alcohol... not having prostitutes.
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