Ever had a really good connection with someone but couldn't get it outside of place you knew them?

[Anonymous]

i'm not entirely sure what is going on here , i meet this girl at this restaurant a while back and we know each other fairly well by now as she's worked there a couple years although more during the summer

a lot of the times i've talked to her when she's working but we have hung out there when she was off work and sat together at a table once. she's also asked me to do drinks with her a couple times ( shots ) , i've never asked her to do drinks but she asked me , once was on her birthday and other x mas holidays

but we live in the same area and i've like never once seen her outside of that place , never even seen her at nearby restaurants or stores. never seen her at the gym , never been to private parties with her. we've basically never done anything outside of the place i meet her , never even seen her at a fast food place and our city is only 20,000 people so not even that big , seem to recall she lives outside of town but still she's obviously here a lot

but we seem to get along fairly well so confused , can't think of any reason why she wouldn't want to see me outside of the restaurant at least in public places like other restaurants or events / parties etc

Updates

1 y

note both times we did shots it was late at night and she was off work with friends

Updates

1 y

i saw her at another bar its in another town , i asked if she wanted to do a shot at the bar as we did that before , she and her girlfriend that was also nearby said yes so i got 3 shots and we did them together , she took a picture of us with her cell phone too , it was fun but she disappeared afterwords , saw her at place she works again a few days later and we talked but not really about that night

[HollyK21]

Unless I somehow missed it (apologies if I did), you haven’t asked her out, so why don’t you just do that instead of hoping to run into her? Trust me I get living in a small town, I grew up in one with literally two bars. But a town is still a town and despite how extroverted you are, it doesn’t mean you’re bound to run into her. On top of that, if she lives outside of town then she may just work in your area and do personal life things closer to where she stays. I’m sure you know that some people commute to their jobs, they aren’t always close.

[Asker]

i just see her at that restaurant , never tried to run into her at other places as i've never seen her anywhere else. it sounds like she might commute here from somewhere else but the area where she lives doesn't have much so she's still need to come here to shop and do things

and what do i even suggest at this point? isn't really any other bars here is some other restaurants. not sure if she's a member of that gym or not , seen some of her girlfriend's there but never her or has she mentioned it. but trying to come up with something we could do outside of the pub that she's be comfortable with

[HollyK21]

Do you have her on social media? Maybe start there, like asking for her Instagram or something. Then you can also see if she’s got a guy in the picture or not, and maybe she’ll have pictures of activities she enjoys. Like if there are pics with coffee she might enjoy a cute, aesthetic cafe (may sound corny but we love good photo ops). There are other things too, like a casual dinner or even going to a happy hour to grab a drink and chat.

[Asker]

i've seen her social media and isn't any pictures of her with guys. the pictures didn't give me many clues about what she liked. she's been on a few trips to different places , she likes dogs , had been to a country concert back in 2019 just before covid, she used to be into dance but stopped when she got older.
at this point even getting her to a nearby mcdonalds or starbucks would be a big step.

[Asker]

there are some events planned downtown this summer near the restaurant , last 2 years were all canceled due to covid and road repairs , not sure exactly what but they wouldn't be for a little while , might be a small beer festival this weekend , i've never been to it she does drink but not sure she liked beer much