How quickly do you lose attraction/crush on someone?

[Anonymous]

This girl I've been hanging out with is coming off a breakup so I don't wanna push it, but we seem to enjoy each other's company a lot and I really want to ask her out. Should I continue waiting since she seems happy hanging with me or just ask her out?

She has told me how much she is enjoying her single life as she didn't really like the guy she was with, didn't want to see him at times and he wasn't "the one".

She shares a lot with me and our chemistry is very noticeable. I just don't want to lose her attraction by waiting too long. She broke up with him about a month ago

[D_Bone_Steak]

Just make it obvious there is an available dick and keep being chill with her. If she wants the dick she's going to grab it and put it in her mouth. It's like what chicks do.

[Asker]

lol thanks for the answer

I'm not just interest in sex but for the sake of argument, how do I make it obvious I'm available? I'm always chill with her, try to talk to her, just not too much. She usually starts our interactions. She doesn't like to text though, at least not me

[D_Bone_Steak]

How I do it is I make passing comments. "You know, if you tried to molest me, I would be happy with it" sort of shit. Sounds stupid but it lets it be known that she has a green light without putting a red light on friendship at all. I'm not the player type or the type that has the so-called "game." I just show up and let it be known I'm an option. If she fails to move on me I move on. Most of the time there are plenty of other girls in the room that want a chance. I don't make it my job to make their minds up for them though. I let them do what they want. Just be the best option and chances are they might go for you. Don't friend zone yourself though is all I'm saying. She might pass you up if you make it seem like you're just not an option.

[Asker]

That's very good! Not sure I can pull it off but I can see how that lowers the barriers

Just let it be known I'm an option. Gonna focus on that

What do you think about asking her if she wants to come on a camping trip, as I was talking about with another person above? Before her breakup she found out camping is my main hobby and told me that I was "a guy I could go camping with and do cool shit with". That really flattered me before we even went out and I started catching feelings for her

[Avicenna]

A month is probably long enough as long as it wasn't a difficult breakup- shoot your shot. Your concern is a legit one.

[Asker]

Right? I don't want to hurry her but feelings move fast sometimes

any suggestions on how to "shoot my shot"?

[Avicenna]

Suggest doing something you both enjoy together and observer her body language while you're with her

[Asker]

I gotta watch body language more, yeah. I've asked her to hang out, based on her ideas, and she's said that sounds fun/sure/let's do it but ends up cancelling/moving. Which I guess means I gotta ask her on a date?

[Avicenna]

Would she do anything different if you made in an official date?

[Asker]

I dunno, but at least I'd have an answer? I'm just confused at the moment, mixed feeling mostly

[Avicenna]

Think long term here/ don’t back her into a figurative corner

[Asker]

Long term, I'd wanna be with her so just ask her out?

What do you think about asking her if she wants to come on a camping trip, as I was talking about with another person above? Before her breakup she found out camping is my main hobby and told me that I was "a guy I could go camping with and do cool shit with". That really flattered me before we even went out and I started catching feelings for her

I feel like if she's interested in going it'd be easier to just ask her out, whether before or during the trip, though perhaps I gotta do that before asking about the trip

[Avicenna]

I think you need to first ask your gut if she is interested in you romantically or only as an activity buddy. Then you need to ask yourself if she would be comfortable going camping with you right now as opposed to a few months from now. If you aren't sure, suggest another activity (it can be date-like) and see how she behaves.

[Asker]

Yeah that's the part I'm still trying to figure out about her. My gut tells me she is interested in me but breaking up as well as other problems she has has made it a slow process

We went out one night couple of weeks ago and she had her hands all over me, claimed this was the best night ever and was happy to finally get to know me. That has been our only night alone alone. She always seems happy with me though there are days when she seemingly ignores me. I want to respect her breakup time before asking her out on a date, and like I said before she has cancelled more friendly hangouts

Based on what she said before her breakup, I feel she would be comfortable camping with me, as it is she was comfortable brining me to her house one time and telling me I could sleep there if I wanted to

Other activities I've mentioned, a lunch, not very date-like I know, she has also cancelled as well as plans she made herself

So wanted to ask her about the camping trip, like maybe early this week, and based on her reaction see if I ask her out on a date, whether immediately, later that week or if she's more apprehensive but accepts the invite then ask her during the trip if things go well

[Guy13]

Act quick to find out. If she don’t respond or is width-washy I’m out.

[Guy13]

Have you guys gone out an informal date of any kind?

[Asker]

We did yeah, the day after her breakup. But she has been, as you said, wishy-washy since then. Including cancelling a meet we had together. Understandable since she's going through a breakup, but still.

We got a bit drunk, had a nice dinner together, she got a bit touchy and we got to know each other very well, and have been talking a lot more since. We ended up at her apartment but nothing happened, just hanging out together and with her cats. At one point last week she reminded me how she has paintings of her cats in her bedroom and that I saw them. She seemed comfortable with me there, but like I said a bit wishy-washy since that day

[Guy13]

You know, it sounds like she was getting to close to you…she likes you man. Give her space. Pass the Test. Keep your Man status…no whining etc. She’s testing…

[Asker]

Testing how exactly?

So give her space, not asking her out quite yet?

I could tell she liked me before her breakup as she always wanted to be in my space and called me mysterious. I was with someone until 3 months ago though so I ignored that shit. And when she had her breakup and asking to go somewhere with her I kind of got confirmation, especially when she said she was happy to finally really get to know me. Just unsure if she still feels that way. Cancelling our plans sure sucked

[Guy13]

In every way and all the time TESTING. level headed and kind is important

[Asker]

I don't get it though. You're saying not making a move on her when she's drunk is a test? Or reminding me of her bedroom painting is a test? Looking for how I react to those situations?

[Alex333k]

Don't rush things, maybe she is just rebounding. Try to go on vacations together to understand her more and then make a move.

[Asker]

Funny cause I wanted to invite her to this three day camping trip I'm going to next month. Mainly because she said, before she had her breakup, that I was "a guy I could go camping with and do cool shit with"

And that really stuck with me. Plus I love outdoorsy girls. Should I mention it? This trip is happening in 4 weeks

[Alex333k]

See whether she is interested in going on a trip and her mood, then ask her "she might say no to it or you get a chance to know more about her"
Hence you have lots of time in your hands before the trip don't ask beforehand, she might not be sure whether she can go on a trip with you, or have some other things to attend to.
So ask her just before a week or 10 days so she won't plan another thing if she is interested in camping trip.
(Make sure she knows the benefits of this trip clearly before hearing her final response.)

[Asker]

Just ask if she's interested on a trip? I don't know, seems like being specific it's a camping trip would be better, since she showed interest in that, before she even broke up with her ex

We also don't work during those days so if she's planning something ahead I'd like to be first in line

But I can see why she'd say no and it's better to get to know each other even more beforehand, so going back to just asking her out first? I really like the trip idea though, now I'm conflicted

What do you mean with benefits of the trip?

[Darkstellae]

Honestly anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks it really just depends on how much you like them.

[tzdc21]

Pretty quickly depending on what she does

[Fuentes]

3 seconds