We’re long distance, but I started taking care of myself better now because of her. I hit the gym, and I’ve been looking better and better every month. I did it for her, but since then, she been accusing me of talking to other girls, and getting really jealous. It just hurts me that she think I’m like a ho to her in a way.
Why does my girlfriend accuse me of cheating since I’ve gotten better looking now?
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Opinion
1Opinion
It's her own insecurity. She worries that you will have more options, be more desirable, and she'll be more in danger of losing you.
You have to deal with the emotion in her, which will be challenging, as you have already found.
Try being loving but firm, and consistent. Tell her that you are doing this for your own health, primarily, and because it makes you feel good about yourself. But your motivation is not to 'level up' and you do not have plans to replace her. Try also encouraging her to do it for herself, to reap some of the same health benefits.
She needs another voice of reason, a female, most likely, to explain to her that you cannot keep another person in your life by holding on tighter to them, with a firmer grasp. In fact, this feels suffocating to the other. All humans have free will, and it's really her insecurity here that is the crux. If you've treated her well, are vocal and positive and affirming about how you feel about her, you don't have to live being condemned before you've even done anything wrong. Some people cannot handle being in an LDR because they can't exert the same level of control, and they are missing information, so they fill in the blanks with wild theories and hypotheses, leading to paranoia. But, again, this is insecurity. She needs to learn how to temper her emotion and look at the facts, and the information that you have given to her. She could dismantle this relationship with her self-doubt. But perhaps she would find other ways to do that, even if you did live in the same area.
You are improving your looks for some reason and most likely someone. This human nature whether girl or guy. There may be other behaviors that you are not cognizant of that she thinks she has noticed, etc...
if reassuring her doesn't work, you can't try to get her to glow up too so she's not insecure anymore