Why is it everyone else's fault for the cheater's infidelity?

[Cherrylicious]

Every story that I hear about a person cheating on their partner or their spouse, it is always because of something that the partner or spouse did to cause that person to cheat or it is commonly blamed on "temptation" meaning more than likely they sometimes accuse the affair partner of coming on to them or any other excuse they use to justify their cheating. I understand that problems occur in every relationship and marriage but if you are having these types of problems I believe that you should either talk to your partner or spouse about it and try to find a solution to work out the problems or part ways instead of cheating and blaming everyone else but themselves.

And not to sound sexist, but I see this issue happening more so when it's the man cheating on the woman I noticed that the wife/girlfriend and the mistress both get blamed for the man's choice to cheat. Whether it's because she "let herself go", "boring sex life" or the woman's behavioral problems etc. That he would rather step outside of the marriage rather than fix the problems. and then it also becomes the mistress's fault when people say things like "she knew he was married/in a relationship" "she's a home wrecker" so did he as well he knew he was with someone all along as well and it was HIS choice to step outside the relationship/marriage he broke the marriage vowels and not her it doesn't matter who came on to who or who was tempted first cheating is a CHOICE not a mistake.

And I also understand that in some situations the affair partner is totally innocent as there are cases where the cheater lies about being single/married only to find out it was all a lie.

But no matter what the reason is a person chooses to cheat on their spouse/partner, why does the cheater seem to never take responsibility for their actions but chooses to blame everyone else instead of themselves this goes for both men and women.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Because cheating is the actions of a selfish person... And selfish people don't usually take other people's feelings, happiness into consideration
And people rather play the victim than the villian... So it's easier for them to try to shift the blame onto someone else...
The "I wasn't happy or getting sexually satisfied" excuse... I always want to ask,
"Was she/ he? Did you even stop to think if you're the only one to feel that way, or if your partner was just as unhappy or unfulfilled"
It's bad enough when people hurt people out of their own selfishness, but to shift the blame to everyone else but themselves is truly despicable to me...

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[Citizenkirk]

You just answered your own question in the first sentence of that question.
THEY ARE ALWAYS BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE, AND WHEN THEY BLAME THE PERSON THEY HAVE BETRAYED, THAT IS THEIR COWARDICE MANIFESTING ITSELF INTO AGGRESSION TO "ATTACK" THE PERSON THAT IS ACCUSING THEM, TO TRY AND SHIFT THE BLAME OF AN INDISCRETION THAT IS ENTIRELY THEIR OWN FAULT, ONTO THE VICTIM.
HUMAN TRASH IS HUMAN TRASH, NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK AT IT, AND THEY NEVER, EVER, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT THEY DID. THEY NEVER ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHO THEY'VE HURT, AND THE PERSON THEY'VE HURT THE MOST IS THE EASIEST TARGET, USUALLY, FOR THEM TO GO AFTER.
MY QUESTION IS, WHY WOULD YOU WANT SOMEONE LIKE THAT IN YOUR LIFE?

[TheorionMage]

BECAUSE in the predominant hypocritical society in which we are raised, buries the NATURAL parameters of motivating monogamy under layered idealized BULLSHIT.

One judges one's 'investment in any partnership on observable day-by-day physical commitment. as that DEMONSTRATED commitment wanes and One innately feels One's inevitable mortality... outside opportunities pose 'the roads yet unexplored' often motivated by glamouried fantasies. '
Infatuation' is ALWAYS the FIRST experience.

WHERE WERE YOU while this took place?
WHAT was MORE IMPORTANT than YOUR investment in THIS relationship? ~

[Alyssa11]

People blame the other person because they can’t accept that it might happen to them. They think well I’m not like that spouse so I’ll never get cheated on. The truth is decent human beings never backstab the people they love and indecent human beings do, because they’re indecent. A cheater is a cheater because there’s something wrong with THEM.

[VanillaSalt]

Disagree. Cheating can be a mistake if you’re drunk or under the influence of drugs... don’t absolve you off your crime but still unintentional.


But ide be super happy if fidelity was based in law. 3 ex’s all cheated on me... ironically my last ex (who cheated) got made at me because a friend propositioned me for sex when we were split up by her choice. I declined but we never got back together... I don’t care much for women after 3 cheaters. But to add in all this feminist bullshit well... honestly if it was punishable by law I bet we’d see more women punished then men.

[Finchie40]

Because a cheater knows they are a piece of shit so it’s easier for them to blame their partner for their reason of cheating , it’s like
They try to play a victim for their actions cuz they know they are wrong and cheating is a selfish act , my thing is if you’re going to cheat on your partner end your relationship with them cuz by cheating on them only proves you really don’t value and love them , when a cheater goes back to their partner like nothing happened , they are wasting their time and living a lie , most people can’t admit that they are a piece of shit. Me personally would forgive a cheating girlfriend if she ended the relationship with me over trying to come back to me like nothing happened and wasting my time , yes it will still hurt but it’s better then being with a liar

[Exterminatore]

Because personal accountability is a vein and arcane concept these days.


As you stated, it’s everyone else’s fault the cheater cheated. It’s white peoples fault black people aren’t successful on the whole. It’s men’s fault when women don’t succeed. It’s straight peoples fault when gays experience something unpleasant. It’s capitalism’s fault you don’t make enough money. It’s the wealthy’s fault the poor can’t get ahead. It’s McDonald’s fault for offering supersized meals your fat.


I guess my point is it’s everyone else’s fault why someone is where they are in life and never ever the persons own fault.

[REALSTEEL]

i was married 5 years we tried to have kids i went to my dr my wife was with me dr told us that i have 0 to 5 percent chance of having kids the next day after i came home from work i found her on top of some guy she wanted kids but you dont do that shit to your husband she got pregnant by that guy and she wanted to keep marriage going i said hell no i left

[hndaleo]

That's called excuses. It's intimicy not a game of tennis. We're exchanging each other's body fluids. We're suppose to bond. not just blow a load and call them done it's special we are all special and when you give that piece of you to someone else your giving them you.

[Dazed0N0Confused]

My ex-husband cheated on me & blamed it on our conflicting work schedules. I worked first shift at a local bakery & he worked second & into third shift at a restaurant.

[Marhaban-1]

Relationships often get complicated. Cheating is like an abusive relationship in that it's not a black and white situation. But ultimately whoever decided to cheat in the first place holds the most responsibility as they were the ones who did it

[AdithyaR]

Cheaters will never accept their mistake. They did something horrible and they don't wanna own up to it so they blame others to absolve themselves of guilt.

[bklynbadboy1]

Cause their adolescent and immature and don't care about anything but themselves. A big part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your actions I guess they having learned that yet

[Waldoe]

cheaters are LIARS... they say that they will be faithful... (lie) so why would they accept responsibility? they know how to Lie and blame everyone else... it's how they get through life...

[Luigie]

It all depends on the circumstances. If a man is a dog, will always be a dog. Same applies for women. But I believe that couples need to really open up when it comes to needs and expectations, specifically when it comes to trust and intimacy.

[EaterPeter]

That's how it is. Victimology? Lot of wrong doers think lot of wrong has been happened with them. They are much better than other people. They are poor well wishers no one understands them.

[Snakeyes7]

No in every single case. If it really was the non cheating party's fault then the relationship should have just ended.

[petargrom]

that's just people who refuse responsibility
So, pets

[Rob17792]

you're right it is sexist because i've gotten cheated on way to many times to count

[In_Trance]

Cheating is always 50/50. Both play a role