Girls, is this something you have done? Is this the ultimate "leading me on" or is she just crazy?

[Anonymous]

A friend and his girlfriend moved away 2yrs ago, they ended up breaking up and she moved back. Her and I were also very good friends, to the point of saying we love each other. After she got back, she looked me up on Facebook and told me some of the story. She also said to call her so we could go out and catch up. 3 days later I sent a text and we made plans to go out on a Tuesday or Wed. She said she would "call" and let me know what day works best. Never heard from her. She contacted me again, on F. B and told me "we really need to hook up one of these days"... told me to call her. I sent a message back saying, "yes, we do" but I never called. About 2 weeks later, we saw each other at a restaurant. She hugged me, told me how good I look, said "call me!! I'm serious. I wanna get together with you and tell you all kinds of stories". About a week later I called to see how she is and to make some plans. Her response, "yes! I will call you after work, I promise! We need to make it happen". Guess what? She sent me a text the other day and I told her to get fucked! Was I wrong? She sent one back asking what my problem is. I don't know if she is seeing just how hard I'll chase her? If she's on drugs or just crazy? Girls, have you or any other girl you know strung along a guy like this? Is there something I'm missing?

[EricSummer]

You do not want to appear pushy so you wait a long time to answer. That's not the best strategy here. She is already signalling interest so you should offer a concrete place and time and move things ahead. Do not be afraid to be more active and text her faster. She's used to it, anyway, I'm sure.

[Deformate]

When she kept telling you to call her, why did you just text her? Sometimes people text me when Im busy and I forget about it after I carry on soing what Im doing. So much easier to call and make plans. Why did you not call until the third time?

[Asker]

Fair question and I thought maybe she was offended that I didn't actually call her but she didn't seem to have a problem with texting. Also, she said she would call me to tell me which day works best for her but never did. When I did call to set up another day, she again said she'd call me (afterwork) to talk about it and never did. Do you think she could be playing me against her ex? Maybe wanting me to chase her and show her ex the messages? I'm always real careful about what I text and say. When I knew her, I would never suspect her of being like that but I don't really know the story of their breakup.

[Deformate]

Thats fair enough that you would be annoyed about her forgetting to call you back. Is she a forgetful type? I am typically blunt about my thoughts so, fair warning, here goes. I don't know the situation or have the information to know if she is playing you off against her ex. I don't see anything that would suggest it in what you wrote. You said she wasn't like that before, there's no reason to make up scenarios in your head because that causes unfounded doubts in her that could possibly be completely wrong. Its curious that there are gaps between requests to meet up but then again, there's another possibility. Well, a few, but my thoughts on the most likely 2 are, she is busy, backnin the neighbourhood and meeting up with friends and family she hasn't seen in a long time and is just getting side tracked. Either that or, its possible, she likes you... she may like like you. Could be misreading but there are a few signs. Overly happy to see you. Repeated suggestions to meet up. Clear shock when you told her to leave you alone. Women seem to enjoy they chase, some use it to gauge how serious you are, some use it for fun or ego stroking. Asking you to call (more intimate than a text) could be her wanting you to make an effort, suggest something to do, make a plan and take charge. The fact that she tried this 3 times suggests she is keenly interested in meeting you. I feel if ahe was trying to make you jealous she'd want more immediate results.

[Deformate]

Pt 2. Your response time is the same as cooking noodles in a slow cooker. It would take forever. Still, she kept trying. If she is a somewhat traditional woman, she will be waiting for you to make the next move and you clearly haven't nailed down a plan for you both yet. I mkght be wrong and it might be purely platonic but you really should apologise for telling her to go away, assess the damage and if its just a bit of traded paint, buff it out and make plans. Go for dinner, go for a drink, go grab a coffee and take a walk. Just a little effort. She may surprise you. Anyways, thats my take on it. I can't tell you what to do, just what I think and what I'd do. I hope it all works out for the best. Let me know though lol. I typed a lot, I'm slightly invested and I want to hear what happened next.

[Asker]

Either you have a lot of experience with women or do this for a living! Basically everything you said was spot on (I don't know if I'm a possible romantic interest) but yeah. I got off the phone with her about 3 hours ago and she basically said she felt like she was being a "bother" to me. Like you said, I wouldn't actually call her or at the very least, ask if I could call her through a text. I wouldn't actually make plans, just a "how about Wednesday or maybe Thursday"? She said she wanted me to set an actual time and date and didn't wanna call me to be the one to do it. When she saw me at the restaurant, she said it was so special to see me and again, she told me to call her for a night out and like you and her said, "it took four fucking days"! Then, when I did call, I never said "hey, let's go here and do this and that", it was, "hey, we really need to get together one of these days". So, she said she blew me off but felt bad and sent a text. That's when I told her not to contact me anymore. Then, today she sent a text asking why I suddenly hate her, so I sent a text asking, "CAN I CALL YOU"? She said, "yes". I did a lot of listening and apologizing, I know that much about women. Then I asked if she's available on Wednesday night. She said, "I can be ready by 6:00". Lol I have experience dating but never "dated" a girl I considered a good friend. However, she is a beautiful girl and if it happens, I won't complain. As far as me saying she might be playing me against her ex, I was out of line. Just thinking out loud... I find it funny that even you, without really knowing her, kind of thought she wasn't like that.

[CarlosX360]

I would have cut ties at this part: Then, today she sent a text asking why I suddenly hate her, so I sent a text asking, "CAN I CALL YOU"? She said, "yes".

Bro, she's playing games.

[Deformate]

I'm really glad you took a chance. You ran the risk of losing your friend and even if it is purely platonic (it doesn't sound platonic, maybe she is figuring things out between you, she seemed to jump for the chance at going out properly after all), even if it is only as friends, she sounds like a really good friend you dont want to lose. Like I'm said, Im glad you gave both of you the chance to find out. I guess the only thing I can think to say is that everyone plays games, there's a lot of cat and mouse between fuys and girls, but some games are fun and some games aren't meant to hurt. I don't know why people can't be straoght with each other lol

[Deformate]

Its Friday, 2 days after the dinner (date?) and I want to know how it went lol

[Annie_LevelUP_ADC]

No, I just have too little time to deal with that. I'll shoot that arrow of rejection right through your heart. But you'll appreciate a quick sting more than bleeding out slowly, I reckon.

[WhitneySnow]

I don’t understand why you’re so upset. She probably just got busy and I think she just wanted to hang out as friends anyway.

[Asker]

The problem has been resolved. It was mostly my fault. However, to make it clear, I never read anything into it other than two friends going out for a night. I don't know why you thought I assumed more than that.

[Asker]

Also, to be fair to you, I didn't tell her to "get fucked". I just told her not to contact me anymore. I felt she was trying to play me against her ex, who happens to be my friend. Like I said to another opiner, I did find that hard to believe because I do know her pretty well and she isn't like that. Anyway, we talked today and are fine.

[WhitneySnow]

That’s good

[CarlosX360]

I'm sorry, I feel like she's playing games.

[CarlosX360]

Bro, if she is not gonna be honest about her feelings or keep you confused all the time, disengage.

She is teasing you, I am familiar with this trait in women, and I don't like it. Its ok to have fun teasing, but the first communication is HER job to keep the interest You did your part. I say, don't get attached too quickly, and let her go. Those women are toxic.

Trash.

[KrakenAttackin]

She is a flake and you did the right thing.

[strateguy632]

the story has a gap when she sent a text.

[Asker]

Yeah. She said she would call after work but never did. A few days went by, then she sent me a text asking how I was doing and I basically told her to stop getting in touch with me.

[CarlosX360]

And that should have been the end right there. She's playing games.