Girls, What are you meant to say to a women who approaches you?

[Anonymous]

What may have come naturally to men of the past is now a foreign minefield for a lot of gen Z guys. How are men expected to respond to women whom approach them but doesn't start a conversation herself.

I've had a fairly odd week. Three separate women approached in public me on Monday alone, one even followed me off a bus and tried to start a conversation when I couldn't muster up the courage. Instances continued yesterday and today too, including a woman spreading her legs opposite me on the bus, and others making gestures with their legs/feet.

For a man whom has grown up with the message of "Do Not Approach Women" from School, TV and MeToo I have a hard time doing just that (who'd have thought).

What do I say or do to these encounters?

[devilish-cutie]

did you even like these women? If you like a woman then you shold consider doing anything, if not than no. Just cause they would approach doesn't mean you should talk to them if you aren't interested, sounds desperate to gave a chance anyone who is interested in you. I don't know about women spreading legs or whatnot, I wouldn't read into that, but if she tried to talk to you then its not that hard to talk back...

[Asker]

I am interested in most of them; I don't know if this is relevant, but only women with wide hips seem to express direct interest (lingering, coughing, sitting closely beside, etc.). Coincidentally, they are the only ones who I feel physical attraction towards, but I am also intimidated by them and fearful of showing myself up.

Most of these women are above average and have slim waists; all three of the women on Monday did, and one had the widest hips I've ever seen (all were Fit). Unfortunately, I've been raised by an unmanly father and only now am I trying to break free from all the anti-masculine messaging I have been bombarded with too. These women have no reason to be desperate, they're 7s or above in looks, some are a little bulkier but not fat.

[Asker]

I myself am cursed with a double-edged sword: I am a naturally light blonde man, with blue eyes and a slim build. I am in shape, with no body fat. I've got a trimmed blonde beard, and a moustache the same colour as my head... problem is, this also makes me targeted by some of the foulest males to exist whom have nothing but vile intentions... [they're not "Men". They act nothing like it].

Like any guy, I want to finally have a loving girlfriend, but I don't know how to break the ice and respond to obviously interested women. I know they're interested, some make it evidently clear (for me, they have to) but a very strong mental barrier holds me back. Fear perhaps? Even with the wide hipped one, who turned on by looks alone (a rare occurrence), was too difficult to speak to.

The last one of the day was in a gym clothes and sat in front of me on the bus preening and looking at me in her mirror; unfortunately I was creeped on by a guy at the same time, so I decided to get off and flip him off... when I got off, the lady raced after me but bumped into my arm, said something like "[Ack] Sorry! Some guys are like that", blushed with embarrassment, and literally ran away...

It was a life changing day, 10/10 would experience again. It honestly made me rethink my long held belief that I am not good enough for women.

[devilish-cutie]

Seems like you are too much in your head. Even if a woman is cheking you out doesn't mean shed want to date you. People look all the time, noticing attractive or interesting people but only browsing, so I wouldn't take any of that that seriously. Ofc you are good enough for women, its a normal human need to have a partner and every person deserves it. If you have some psychological issues due to your childhood it would be good to try to help ysf by building your confidence or whatever you need to work on. You can do that by reading books on the subject or even going to theraphy. As of dating, I suggest you start small, you can first go on dating apps and chat to women there. Thing is, even if a woman is interested in you and there is attraction, looks and interest can only get you so far, there is so much more to bulding a relationship and that requires having genuine connection with someone, you need to connect to the person, have things in common, your values and personalities need to go well together as well. So you need to prepare ysf for a lot of dead ends as well and its definitely not easy. Finding love is generally not easy.

[Asker]

You're right about a lot of things. I grew up being bullied at school, and this has probably damaged my ability to approach people and try to engage with them, and made me reclusive for many years. I also probably have ugly duckling syndrome, because I was seen as the unpopular one in highschool (nicknamed "Butters" after South Park) and now I suddenly have attention.

Dating apps are a scam that victimises lonely men through false promises and profits off their desperation. I get countless more "likes" on a Metro journey that I would get in an entire month of Online Dating, but both share the same issue too; once a "match" occurs based on mutual attraction I am expected to initiate, and I always flop.

I have worked on my confidence, how I hold myself, and how I walk; now I can finally assert authority and command the creeps not to target me and other women. This likely lead to my recent uptick in attention from women, but I still suffer from social dysfunction due to a general lack of experience (especially talking to women).

[devilish-cutie]

I wouldn't sign off dating apps, it an opporutnity to talk to women much easier than real life. Some women also initiate conversation (myself included). I have met some men trough dating apps and I know people that found their partner that way so you have nothing to lose.
As of the rest, just know that you are okay just as anyone, noone is perfect and everyone has problems. All you can do is work on ysf and try to heal from your traumas.

[Asker]

Will give it a go again I suppose; but I know I have a better chance of finding more women who are modest, less experienced, and more inclined to initiate, on public transport and generally in person. Men outnumber women A Lot on those dating apps; and as an inexperienced guy with not much, I'll be easily out-competed. I also hear that women on dating apps have whole Rosters of men they're interacting with... that's a major turn off.

I get checked out all the time, I guess? On Tuesday when I travelled to a wealthy area north of the city for work; yes the train there was FULL of creeps, but the women at the destination were checking me out, and the cute waitress in McDonalds spoke in a girly voice with sparkly eyes and gave me a large fries instead of the medium I ordered. But like you said, being checked out doesn't mean they want to talk or date, and a lot of it could be hair jealously.

As for healing, I'm half way there; and I only started working on myself a few months back. Monday was a milestone because it marked the day I was finally able to generate a confident aura that attracted women; attracting women is not entirely new for me, but They showed on-the-nose signs of interest. Sadly, all I really have going for me currently is looks and fitness - maybe personality.