I've been here before and I understand how you're feeling but you seriously have to stop obsessing over her and be patient! You'll tear yourself apart thinking about her constantly like that. I've had a crush on a girl right from when I was 15. I'm now 21 and she's been my girlfriend for a year so it CAN happen but don't get your hopes up.
Here's how my experience like this went... it might help😆
She was in my class for half a year but she was literally the cutest girl I'd ever seen and she was super shy so it made it really difficult to talk to her. At the end of the year, her family moved back out and she was gone. She now lived over 4 hours away and I didn't realize how much I liked her until I had no way of seeing her again. I missed her so much so I hit her up on Gmail (lol) and we got talking for a bit. It went on for quite a number of months, just talking and keeping in contact but neither of us knew what we were doing and it eventually died out. We'd occasionally get in touch maybe once or twice a year after that but no matter how hard I tried she'd always shut the conversation down. Each time sucked more than the last and eventually one time I reached out and she didn't reply at all. It sucked like sht but I felt like it was closure and moved on. Then 2 or 3 years later I'm out with a bunch of guys, mostly close friends that I went through school with, and we start having a laugh about school memories. We're a bit drunk and somehow the topic of me and this girl comes up and they're all teasing me about her. Then out of nowhere a friend of a friend who I'd met that morning and really got on with says "wait, how do you all know her?"... we all look at him like "wtf, how do you know her?"... turns out this guy is her cousin who lives in the same city as her and has heaps to do with her. Later that night I'm talking with him and he said he'd heard a bit about me from his cousin but she never gave a name or explained who I was. Anyway long story short he says he thinks she likes me and gives me her number. I started thinking about her again but it took weeks before I decided to hit her up. She responded well and we hit it off quickly and got to know each other really well. But like always, it didn't last very long and she seemed to lose interest and stop texting. I was a lot more mature now tho so I didn't let it bother me and just moved on. Then about a year later she hits me up out of the blue, we talk for a couple of weeks and then it ends again. This time I had no expectations, low hopes, and refused to get any feelings involved. It was fun and friendly and that was all. This kept happening over the next 2 years. We'd hit each other up every few months, have a friendly little catchup, and then it would end a week or 2 later. Then last year she hits me up as usual but this time it's different and she's really trying to keep the convo alive. After a few weeks I tried testing her by only giving her conversation-ending responses for a couple of days and she still managed to keep it going. She seemed genuinely interested but I still kept feelings out of it and just treated her like a friend. A couple of months go by of texting every day and we really hit it off with each other. I started to get invested in building a real relationship and over the next 2 months we progressed into lovers. Another 2 months later she moved back to my city and we've been happily together since the start of the year.
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See this the type of shit women never do with each other. They don’t have convos about scary movies and where they’re based. This is why I can’t take men and women seriously.
All I can tell you is this:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/kM9S9dtSfSk
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Keep trying don’t give up
Damn, just move on already.
Get a therapist
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