Why can my friend never support me or say one nice thing to me?

[LL2939B]

I’m in a friendship group it’s me and two other girls. Beki and Emily. One of the girls in the friendship group Beki always compliments me and builds me up. She always likes my posts on social media and has no issue supporting me. But the other girl, Emily she never ever likes any of my social media photos or compliments me in person. The weird thing is, Emily always likes Beki’s photos on Instagram and compliments things like “gorgeous girl” on her posts, but she completely ignores mine. I’ve known both girls for the same amount of time.

When I meet up with them, Emily always compliments Beki’s outfit or hair or appearance but she can never bring herself to compliment me. It’s like she just struggles so much to say one complimentary thing to me. One time we both met up for drinks and I got all dressed up I put a nice dress on, and earrings and did my make up. Yet when she saw me she completely ignored complimenting how I looked. But then when Beki arrived she was all over her and saying things like ‘omg you look so stunning I love your hair and outfit today’. I felt like there was something wrong with my hair or outfit because she completely ignored me.

When it was my birthday I uploaded a post on Instagram at a restaurant and I thought I looked nice in it, and Beki liked my post instantly but Emily ignored my post. About a month later she liked my post and sent a very fake ‘I didn’t realise it was your birthday the other month, happy birthday’. That was the first post I’ve made that she has ever liked. And she is always online and active on social media.

The thing is, I know she sees my content, because she will say things like ‘I saw you went out the other night, I don’t know how you can go out drinking and get up the next day for work’. She’s always viewing my stories too.

What is her problem with me? Why can’t she support me?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that really sucks. Sounds like Emily just isn't much of a friend to you honestly. Some people are just weird like that I guess.

A couple possibilities I can think of - maybe she's jealous of you deep down for some reason? Like jealous that you and Beki get along so well or that you get attention on social media too. Or could be she just likes Beki more as a person I don't know.

I wouldn't lose sleep over it if I were you. Don't bother trying to force her to compliment you or anything, she clearly doesn't want to. Just focus on your friendship with Beki and other people who do appreciate you. Emily's bad attitude is her problem, not yours.

Maybe distance yourself a bit from her so you're not waiting around for her approval all the time. Do your own thing and don't let what she thinks bring you down. She sounds pretty lame anyway! Just keep being you and surround yourself with people who support you for real.

[LL2939B]

Thank you, your insight on the situation is really helpful 🙂

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome 😊

[slatyb]

She's insecure.