Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
So I have the case of “how often do I interact with this coworker” happening.
It’s weird cause she acts like she doesn’t receive my work private messages (or maybe she is not lying and isn’t getting them) and then she one time goes “hey Hannah you work Monday right” wanting to know if I work Monday. She didn’t have a reason for asking that so I was confused. then at work today she talks about anything and everything and like really opens up. this happened a couple times at work and then we don’t talk between shifts. I don’t get why she talks to me like we have known each other for years at work and then ghost in between. she seems excited about doing something outside work and then she “forgets” to message me (if she’s lying and isn’t actually forgetting). She told me she has adhd and doesn’t get texts and respond to them as quickly and that many people kind of text her at once.
is this a “I need to fix something with my personality” thing cause this seems to happen with a lot of people and then I never hear from them again. Only reason I hear from her is cause we are coworkers.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
That is weird with your coworker. One minute she's super chatty and friendly, the next she acts like she doesn't even know you exist outside of work.
A few possibilities:
- She may honestly just get distracted easily with her ADHD and not be the best texter. That part could be legit.
- But her hot and cold behavior is sending mixed signals too. She may like the attention at work but isn't actually that interested in being friends outside of it.
- Or it's possible she's just really awkward/shy and doesn't know how to maintain interactions consistently over messaging.
- She could be seeing someone else too and tries to keep work friendships strictly work to avoid anything being misconstrued.
My advice would be to go with the flow for now since you have to work together. But don't put too much stock into her plans or promises of hanging out until she actually follows through.
I'd say keep conversations light and casual at work, but maybe try stepping back a bit on your end too between shifts. See if she puts in any effort to keep chatting or makes concrete plans. That will tell you how interested she really is. You deserve someone who follows through!
True thank you! I will go back to the stepping back at work and smaller talk haha. If you k what I mean by that
Yeah I totally get what you mean, no need to be all up in her business at work either. Keep things light and casual when you see her. Small talk is cool, but don't go opening up too much or asking personal questions, ya know? Let her lead the conversation, that way she can't say you were coming on too strong.
The last thing you want is for her to think you're clingy or obsessed. Play it cool like you're not that bothered either way. Act like you've got your own shit going on too. Girls definitely dig a guy who seems independent and like he's got his own life.
So yeah, just keep it friendly but not too friendly at work. Save any deep conversations for if she puts in more effort outside of that. You don't wanna scare her off! Play it smooth and see what happens. Hopefully she'll come around, but if not then no big deal - on to the next one! You got this.
I’m not a dude
I was trying to just be friends with her. Lol. and also she opened up to me more and that’s why I felt I could share what I did last time but I will be backscaling next time
Oh sorry, my mistake! That makes her hot and cold behavior even weirder then. I'd say just do what you said - scale it back a little at work so she doesn't feel like you're getting too close too fast. Let her do most of the talking if she seems chatty. And don't take it personal if she's not talking between shifts, like I said some people just aren't that consistent with chatting. As long as you're still friendly at work that's all that really matters. Maybe she just needs space to warm up as a friend, you know? Just play it cool and see what happens. I'm sure if she really wants to be your friend she'll come around. Hope it works out!
Yeah she briefly did this morning but I also know we Both Have finals and many people have finals. It’s a chaotic time rn even for me
I’m also applying to a four year university
Totally feel you luv, finals are definitely a crazy stressful time for sure! No judgments on anyone's behavior or communication level during exams.
That's awesome that you're applying to universities too, way to go with your big goals! You're absolutely right, this is a super busy season all around.
I'd say just try not to overthink things with this coworker situation during the madness. Keep your interactions polite but casual if you have to chat at work. Then afterwards, if she still seems flaky or inconsistent, you'll have your answer on whether to keep her at arm's length distance-wise.
But for now, focus on crushing your finals and nailing those applications! Your own success and happiness should be the priority. You got this. Keep me posted on how it goes - you've totally got bright things ahead!
Wowww
What