I have this work friend. Once, she texted me asking if I would pick her up a drink on the way to work if she ordered it. She didn’t offer me anything. Also I took a trip to NY and bought her a souvenir and a few weeks later she also went to NY and didn’t get me anything. Our other friend had a bday, she picked her up a little cake and I graduated college and she didn’t get me anything but she sent me a nice message beforehand.
There are times where we’ve had deep talks and she’ll give good advice.
Also once she asked me to go to cafe to apply to jobs and she was over half an hour late getting there and didn’t apologize. When we got there she got right in line without telling me and when she came back she said she called me asking if I wanted anything and said she was going to get me a pastry for my graduation but never did. We were all talking about aesthetics and she said I had a basic New York vibe. She’s also called me weird and dramatic and makes faces at me while I’m talking. For Thanksgiving she brought up me coming to her Friendsgiving and I told her I could maybe come. She already invited our other friend and joked with me not to come. I got insecure about it and asked if I could bring someone and she was like “just don’t come”. I have a crush on this lesbian and I showed this work friend pictures of her and has said she wasn’t pretty. Originally she said i was so much prettier than my lesbian crush but she followed that up with saying that she doesn’t find people in that race attractive so that wasn’t saying much. I showed her another picture of my crush and she jokingly asked if I was pranking her then said she wasn’t cute. I told her jokingly at least I’d be the pretty one in the relationship and she hesitated and didn’t seem like she agreed. There’s like little moments where she can be friendly but for the most part she’s a serious person. There’s times where she won’t speak to me when I come in or when she leaves she won’t say bye. Is she a bad friend?
There are times where we’ve had deep talks and she’ll give good advice.
Also once she asked me to go to cafe to apply to jobs and she was over half an hour late getting there and didn’t apologize. When we got there she got right in line without telling me and when she came back she said she called me asking if I wanted anything and said she was going to get me a pastry for my graduation but never did. We were all talking about aesthetics and she said I had a basic New York vibe. She’s also called me weird and dramatic and makes faces at me while I’m talking. For Thanksgiving she brought up me coming to her Friendsgiving and I told her I could maybe come. She already invited our other friend and joked with me not to come. I got insecure about it and asked if I could bring someone and she was like “just don’t come”. I have a crush on this lesbian and I showed this work friend pictures of her and has said she wasn’t pretty. Originally she said i was so much prettier than my lesbian crush but she followed that up with saying that she doesn’t find people in that race attractive so that wasn’t saying much. I showed her another picture of my crush and she jokingly asked if I was pranking her then said she wasn’t cute. I told her jokingly at least I’d be the pretty one in the relationship and she hesitated and didn’t seem like she agreed. There’s like little moments where she can be friendly but for the most part she’s a serious person. There’s times where she won’t speak to me when I come in or when she leaves she won’t say bye. Is she a bad friend?
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1Opinion
Hmm yeah sounds like she's not really being a very good friend to you. A few thoughts:
- She never seems to reciprocate when you do nice things for her like gifts or cake. Friendship is meant to go both ways.
- Being rude and constantly making jokes at your expense isn't cool. Friends lift each other up, not put each other down.
- Making you feel insecure about coming to the Thanksgiving then saying "don't come" is bloody harsh.
- Also who says rude things about someone else's crush? That's cruel.
To me it seems like she doesn't really respect you or value your feelings much. A real friend would be kinder and more considerate.
You deserve people in your life who treat you with care and support you, not make you feel crappy all the time.
If I were you I'd pull back from this "friendship". You can do better than putting up with that, find friends who genuinely like YOU.
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