Why women have such high expectations of men nowdays?

[Anonymous]

A man must look good, earn quite well and meet a whole list of individual characteristics depending on the woman. In general, I have the impression that if men were equally demanding, they would help each other in life. but I'm not talking about why women demand a lot from men and offer little, no offense, it's an opinion, and I think everyone will agree that to attract a guy, a woman has to do much less than men have to do to attract a woman.

[Pillubi]

As a girl, I have the same question. Obviously I cannot generalise. The thing is, I believe social media has played into the minds of many girls and women. I feel that if social media didn't exist, things would have been much different. The glitz and glamour that we are constantly bombarded with, makes a lot of women crave that kind of lifestyle, which many of them realise they won't be able to achieve single handedly, even if they slog their asses off at work. When women are constantly bombarded by these lavish lifestyles on social media, they get brainwashed and think that's what they want, and mind you, many of them would not have thought about it, if it weren't for Instagram or tik tok or whatever it is. Also big brands and companies WANT women to play into the hype. MOST Brands are geared towards women, and they tell them how incomplete they are if they don't purchase that 200dollar mascara and there are many women who fall for it making them extremely materialistic. That they look for ways to satisfy this urge how else if not through a rich guy? Hence the demand. Being materialistic to and extent is fine, but overly materialistic is not good. Placing our worth on an external factor is not a healthy approach long term. I went a little off topic. Coming to you ques. Women know that men want them even if they pretend not to care all women intrinsically know they are wanted cause they are the gatekeepers of reproduction. Women are valued for their ability to reproduce, human beings come through them. Although men's contribution to reproduction is crucial, the percentage is still lesser hence men questioned more in what they bring to the table. It makes more sense for men to provide materially. But even I don't agree with the fact that women have become excessively materialistic, it's not right.

[Pillubi]

There is a grammatical error in my last statement. What I mean to say is , I agree with the fact that women have become excessively materialistic and it's not a good thing.

[jennifer_bloom]

Initial attraction is based on status but love is based on personality and a lot of men can bypass the initial attraction standard by having a relevant and good personality that makes the woman fall in love, even if his body and appearance is boring.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Because they can do better than a man who isn't doing well in some aspects. If your behind financially she has ever resource to do the same or better than you. Society tells them the man needs to be incredible and has placed an extreme importance on material things. Social media only makes this worse to where women are being programmed to only expect the best and that if they can't get it they don't need no man.

It backfires in the long run when they cannot fulfill their biological purpose to reproduce and don't have a partner who loves their character and not their body. That said this is not all women. Don't look to college for women, they will mostly think this way. Places like church or volunteering groups will have women that still maintain morals. Not the bar or club

[OlderAndWiser]

I hear these same comments from other guys and it is almost always guys who have very little success with women.

You complain about the standards women maintain, and you believe that many of them relate to your success in life, but those are factors over which you have some control.

If men are choosing women solely on the basis of their appearance, how do you think unattractive women feel? A girl with RBF can't do much about that.

[Mr_twoface]

I personally believe it goes both ways. However, with regards to your question, maybe since women have gained more independence and empowerment in many societies, their expectations in any given relationships may have evolved. With greater financial independence and career opportunities, women might seek partners who offer more than just financial security, but also emotional support, shared responsibilities, and mutual respect.

[CrabCakes11]

I can understand being upset at the standard for a high income, but the standard of being physically attractive and having traits the woman likes? Those are not outrageous standards.

[Cheapskate]

I mean, I have seen my average-looking female friend swipe through what were basically male models with a kinda "meh" expression on her face. I can't unsee that. Many women's standards for being physically attractive as a man are just as nuts as their career achievement standards for us.

[CrabCakes11]

@Cheapskate Ever consider she just has a different idea of male beauty than you do? I really don’t like how male models look. I much prefer a more normal looking person.

[Cheapskate]

I know the kinds of guys she likes. It was guys she had matched with who had messaged her. When I said "models", that was a figure of speech. What I meant was super handsome guys. Super accomplished, too.

The equivalent would be me working part-time due to disability and being meh about matching with hundreds of Instagram babes with good professional careers and exciting hobbies. Who were messaging ME. Asking ME out. Paying the date.

Not sure what more women want TBH. Will it ever be good enough?

[CrabCakes11]

@Cheapskate Maybe your idea of handsome isn’t her idea of handsome.

I don’t thank Instagram babes are attractive or interesting (I’m bisexual). I’d much prefer a normal looking person. If not wanting to date 1% of women makes be picky, then I’m picky. If you reject the instagram babes, that doesn’t mean you have unreasonable standards either.

“Women” as a whole don’t want any particular type of man. You are probably good enough, and should not base your value on whether women want you or not.

[Cheapskate]

But why would she match with them if she didn't find them attractive? She must have swiped right?

I don't find Instagram babes hot mostly either. It was just an example, because that look seems to be in.

I get that taste is subjective, but also it kinda isn't. The same handful of guys get all the girls, I have seen it up close. I have five old school friends I see sometimes, and one of them is tall and handsome and a trader, and he has been with hundreds of women and has had stalkers. The rest of us rarely have a girlfriend and have had dry patches lasting years. It is so winner takes all with women.

It's like women look at what other women like and then they want it too.

I don't base my worth on it, but women do. Society does. It determines whether I get to breed or not, on a fundamental level. If I was a woman I could just have a donor kid, which many women already do because they haven't find a guy they deemed worthy.

[CrabCakes11]

@Cheapskate If she matched with them she probably found them attractive. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say? You’re upset she swiped right on the hot guys? Taste is subjective but it is influenced by cultural norms and attitudes like any other subjective taste. That is not special to notions of beauty. The whole “the same handful of guys get all the girls” is not true. Maybe the same handful of guys get the same handful of girls. I doubt he has “been with hundreds of women”. Even if he has, those women have probably also been with hundreds of guys too (which I highly doubt, given that the average American has had like 7 sexual partners in their life time). You having dry patch says more about you than others. Men’s preferences and standards are also influenced by other men. There’s really not that many women who get sperm donors without a partner.

[AndrewJordon99]

Why are you against the idea of general standards of beauty or attractiveness among men and women? There's standards and it's biology. That's why we've always had certain standards of male/female models until recently where there's a push to defy norms and push "body positivity"

[CrabCakes11]

@AndrewJordon99 I literally said that having standards is ok. Did you read my post?

[AndrewJordon99]

He said he saw girls look at near "model" men (aka generally physically attractive relative to other males) and cringe, then you said they have different standards like its the norm, when it's the exception to the rule.

[CrabCakes11]

@AndrewJordon99 Why are you against people have their own taste? If you want to have sex with male models, go ahead, we don’t want them.

[AndrewJordon99]

Slowly read my posts and try again. I did NOT say or imply that I was against people having tastes. Where'd you get that from, because I pointed out the fact it's unusual?

[CrabCakes11]

@AndrewJordon99 it’s not unusual not to want to sleep with the strangest looking people on earth

[Cheapskate]

Of course hypergamy is real! I challenge you to set up a dating profile posing as a man, and make him average attractiveness and let's see how you do. And bear in mind that what you consider "average attractiveness" is already skewed because women don't really interact with men on the bottom half of the distribution at all.

[Cheapskate]

Or you can read the book Self-Made Man where a lesbian feminist disguises herself as a man to experience the world from that perspective.

She discovers that dating sucks as a man, that her female dates are rude to her, don't respond well to her empathetic personality and want her to be more of a "real" man.

[AndrewJordon99]

"strangest looking people on earth" When did me or the other guy say ANYTHING about the men in question looking strange? He implied the opposite LOL. You're not even paying attention to the conversation

[CrabCakes11]

@AndrewJordon99 Male models look extremely strange. I don’t want to date an uncanny valley looking guy.

[CrabCakes11]

@Cheapskate I could do that, or I could have a life. I’m spending my afternoon ice skating with my boyfriend (who doesn’t look like a freaky male model and isn’t 6’0) instead of trying to prove that women don’t like you.

[Cheapskate]

Lol have fun

[AndrewJordon99]

Well I don't know, I just assumed male model would mean biologically attractive men, but there's also a push for body positivity where obese women can be models now.

[Cheapskate]

@AndrewJordon99 Body positivity is a good correction to insane beauty standards for women. E. g. the European fashion industry which loves anorexic girls. My theory is it is because all the top designers are gay, so they don't actually like the female body and want the women to look like little boys. Or maybe it's powerful older women in the industry who feel threatened by the younger models, so they encourage them to starve themselves and loose all sex appeal. Anyway, it creates this fucked up competition to be as skinny as possible.

All the guys complaining about fat models, I wish they would complain about young women getting disfigured by surgeons because they think their lips/nose/ass/boobs would look better if they were artificial. It is tragic. They always end up looking ugly AF.

[CrabCakes11]

@Cheapskate Boo hoo men’s dating sucks because women are mean to them :(

Women’s dating sucks because men harass, stalk, rape, and kill us.

[CrabCakes11]

@AndrewJordon99 “biological attractive” is not a thing. Obese women can be models. Who else is going to model the plus sized clothes lmao. Is your whole upset that obese women wear clothes for obese women? Nobody is forcing you to date them, calm down.

[AndrewJordon99]

Are you trying to tell me that obese women can be physically attractive? Delusional. Lmfao

[AndrewJordon99]

Physical attractiveness is a thing, some people are on one end of the spectrum, others are CLEARLY the opposite. Get out of this safe bubble you invented where "Everyone is equal!! Everything's fair everything's a tie" Lmao, it's not the real world.

[CrabCakes11]

@AndrewJordon99 There are a crazy amount of chubby chasers. It’s subjective

[CrabCakes11]

@AndrewJordon99 You seem to live in a world where your tastes = objective truth. How delusional

[AndrewJordon99]

I never told you my tastes, actually. I am telling you that standards in human society exist. Most men are NOT "chubby chasers" you ignorant fool LMFAO.

[AndrewJordon99]

I REALLY don't know how to spell it out for you, it's like debating a flat earther. There is a STANDARD for most men and being overweight or chubby etc is generally considered a negative for women's attractiveness, like low confidence and status and ambition is less attractive for men. Get out of your safe bubble where everything is equal and accept reality lol

[CrabCakes11]

@AndrewJordon99 When did I say that most men are chubby chasers? Please get your reading comprehension checked

[CrabCakes11]

@AndrewJordon99 And? Literally how does anything I say go against the idea that most men don’t like fat women?

[AndrewJordon99]

You IMMEDIATELY said "It's subjective" therefore implying that leagues and general attractiveness levels aren't a thing. Please, don't tell me to get my reading comprehension checked when you didn't bother to read your own stuff LOL

[AndrewJordon99]

So you don't agree that most men like larger women, which is EXACTLY my freaking point. So I'm confused, why are you arguing with me here?

[CrabCakes11]

@AndrewJordon99 Wow you’re like, actually dense. That’s embarrassing for you.

[DextroShade]

Social media and feminism have turned most women into entitled narcissists who think that they actually look as good as in reality as their filtered pictures. They all think they deserve a 6'+ man making six figures even if they are fat, have been in sex work, or have multiple baby daddies. They are unable to love a man so many of them will end up dying alone.

[Nifrayu]

I don't think it's as bad as it seems. I think women who are most outspoken about their standards are the ones who have such high standards. I think the ones who aren't vocal about their standards are more relaxed about it. In other words we are only hearing from the very picky ones and that's why we have this impression that the standards are so unreasonable.

[SolitarySolace]

Why aren't we shutting then up? Are men that weak?

[Nifrayu]

@SolitarySolace it doesn't bother me. I find that it's easy to disregard such things.

[SolitarySolace]

Yeah? Is it easy to disregard misandry?

[Apple1996]

Because we shouldn't settle for dusty men anymore. I constantly here men tell single moms things like they should have picked better men so what are women doing now? They are trying to pick better men

[IslaTheWitch]

confident, witty, smartass, with strong hands...

[Anonymous]

Equality. A couple generations ago women were relegated to being mothers and housewives. Which means that's really all they could aspire to. Now today women can chase thier own dreams and aspirations (which is a good thing) but as everything it comes with drawbacks. Women can be picky. Women that are also very bad decision makers can make one bad decision after another. So it has drawbacks for women as well.

[exitseven]

There just seems to be a lot more lovers out there today. I don't know if it is social media, the failing public schools , all the drugs people take or bad parenting but I do not blame women for being selective.

[Agape93]

Same reasons guys do for women. Personal preferences and standards.

[Nifrayu]

Generally speaking men have low standards for women. At least by comparison to vice versa.

[Agape93]

Okay?

[Nifrayu]

Okay.

[Anonymous]

Its what society and social media tell women. It's so bad these days. Even big fat obese women, meth heads, lazy, ugly, etc think they deserve ( insert hottest guy here) .

The 20/80 rule might be higher now like 10/90 . So how are all these women going to compete for 10/20% of the male population?

And what are the other 80/90% of guys suppose to do?

[Fireguy17]

do you think they want to end up with a couch potato the does nothing but play video games, smoke pot and drink?
Why shouldn't women have high expectations?

[Nikki1989]

Like some men don't do the same thing. I swear men on here live under a rock somewhere.

[LazerBean]

Expectations for both genders are probably lower than they have ever been since the founding of this country.

[sage2021]

Not all women are like that. It might be just the one's you are interested in.
You shouldn't group ALL women together. Only some or most.

[handsomelad70]

LOTS of women think they're queens (looking at YOU, black women!!!) to be worshipped rather than partnered. This iteration of "feminism" in which men are viewed as little more than conduits of women's wishes is to blame.

[SolitarySolace]

I think it has to do with their entitlement complexes and condescending Personalities. Women believe they deserve Prince Charming. Women, same as men, don’t DESERVE shit

[Sonorous]

Supply & Demand. The high supply of men means women can make more demands.

[Pennywise_6]

Dude that is not high expectations.
That's the bare minimum.

[Nifrayu]

Kinda proving is point here...

[Anonymous]

I feel like the bar is pretty low if we are talking about normal women, not women on dating apps. Most girls just want a guy who's taller than her and isn't a bum. I'm of the opinion those are reasonable wants.

[Pohjolan]

There is more supply than demand.

[RedInnocent69]

They’re more independent. Need men less, so they need to be worth it.

[Rangers]

Because we live in a matriarchal society

[jahaims]

Social media/ propaganda