Is it a massive red flag if a girl never wants to spend time in person but tells me she loves me?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

There's a girl I talk to, was first hesitant meeting me, and said we need a little more time to chat before meeting her.

I said okay, she proposed meeting at a time, was sudden and I couldn't.
She seemed a little angry about it.
She apologized two times meeting me after it.

Now, she says it is hectic but she's trying to find a time so we can meet.

Maybe less than what you have.. but still confusing or maybe scared. So far she now says she's busy after she said she's okay meeting.. but she'll text me and decide earlier that same day.
I know some people are spontanuous.. but feels a step hinting to she won't be available 🤷‍♂️

[Opinion Owner]

Update: I just met her.

And discovered that she gave me 1 hour of her truly busy and hectic schedule.
An hour from her precious personal time. After I left, I messaged her and expressed my appreciation, as I truly do.

So, maybe she is truly unavailable. You have to kind of pressure her to choose and decide.
For me, she mentioned some reasons why it is hard meeting me outside, and it is convincing.
So at least she can speak out her excuse if she really has one. And maybe get her at least to give you a quick try as this girl did.

Hope it helps.

[Finchie40]

Yes, it means she just likes the convenience of you , from the attention you give her , if she doesn’t want to spend time with you? , that pretty much means she is more than likely spending time with someone else, instead of spending time with you. When someone really likes you , they don’t hesitate to see you as much as possible , if they are hesitating? That means they are investing their time into someone else. Never allow yourself to be treated like a convenience by anyone , if someone is not giving you the same or equivalent to what you are giving them , than you are just wasting your time being strung along. Kick her ass to the curb where she belongs and find yourself someone that wants to make you a priority, life is too short to be used as a convenience

[Baublebar234]

10000000% agreed!!!

[Finchie40]

Yea life is too short to be used and strung along by someone. I don’t care how good looking or attractive someone is , if they don’t have a genuine heart and good moral values , and can’t give to you the same way you give to them? Walk away and find someone that wants the same things that you do , someone that stands by your side the same way you stand by theirs , someone that would climb a mountain to be by your side the same way you would climb a mountain to be by theirs. Like I always say , Selfishness is one of the biggest relationship killers., especially these days , Someone that truly loves you and cares about you? will remove selfishness to be with you and make you their top priority , if you are not a top priority to them? Say what you need to say and then walk away , if they truly love and care about you? they will try to fix what is broken between you , not disappear into thin air. No relationship is perfect because we are all imperfect people, we all come from different paths in life. If someone can’t accept your flaws , the same way you accept theirs? That person doesn’t deserve you what so ever. Someone that constantly makes excuses for their selfish actions , is someone that only cares about themselves , they don’t really care about you and don’t consider your feelings as well because they are selfish. Someone that loves and cares about you? Will put themselves in your shoes before making a decision, , they don’t point fingers at you before pointing fingers at themselves first. If someone is constantly blaming and accusing you of everything that is wrong in the relationship, they are the problem , not you. That’s your answer to tell them to Go Fuck Themselves and walk away. .

[PeachyPie93]

Yes! Had a guy constantly tell me he loved me and misses me but he always seemed to be "busy". They are just lying because they like you loving them it's nothing more than an ego boost for them.

[HappyWoman34]

I don’t know. Maybe she loves you, but is wise enough to understand that love isn’t always enough to make a relationship last?

[HappyWoman34]

I’d talk to her about it.

[Zayeem]

I couldn't grasp that? imagine u like a toy,, but u don't want to buy it.

[HappyWoman34]

@Zayeem it’s something you can only understand from personal experience. You’ll get it one day.

[Mr_twoface]

The word "love" doesn't always mean love you romantically. It is been used so frequently that Love you can also mean, I love you the way you are as a friend.

It's not a massive red flag, it can be a red flag, if she uses you for something and just utters the words love you.

[Nessie6]

I think it's a red flag... If I said I love you, I would want nothing more then to be with you. Go out, explore, take pictures for my memories and definitely want to fuck.

Sorry about it but I'd rather be honest

[Hellur991]

Red flag, for sure she def don't give a f bout you bro. If a girl genuinely likes you as a person she would def make time for you no matter what, and that's a fact bro

[Asker]

I agree with you bro. Some people try to convince me that I'm crazy because I don't believe most of the nonsense this girl says. It doesn't even make sense that a girl could "love you" but want nothing to do with you at the same time.

[EmmaMary]

Sounds like she's getting a damn good fucking with someone else.

[Pillubi]

Are you sure she finds you physically attractive? Confirm that first.

[DextroShade]

She spending time with someone in person. You aren't dumb enough to be buying stuff for her or paying her bills, are you?

[Asker]

Absolutely not

[DextroShade]

Then stop wasting your time, if she won't put out you put her out.

[lmkimcurious]

Sounds like she could be living in a fantasy or maybe she’s really immature or insecure.

[Asker]

Sounds like she has issues I can't help her with

[lmkimcurious]

Unless she’s just screwing around with you to see what you do. Either way there’s no point in talking to her

[Asker]

This has been going on for a while so clearly she is just playing games. I should've just ghosted her but instead I confronted her to see what was up. Bad mistake on my behalf because I made myself look needy and desperate. Now we don't talk but I feel bad because I don't like the way I handled it

[lmkimcurious]

That’s part of life. You live and you learn

[lmkimcurious]

The important part is that you’re paying attention and learning

[lmkimcurious]

I would have said I’m busy and I’ll talk to you when we hang out, then waited to see what she would have done.

[Asker]

If I could go back in time I would definitely do things differently. I simply didn't know and now that I know a situation like this won't happen again

[subliminalmaze]

She probably just likes the attention you're giving her but aren't actually serious about having something special with you. It could be that she's using you or wants the attention.

[Asker]

Exactly she is just playing games. I blame myself because I allowed it to happen. I should've just ghosted her once I recognized what she was doing.

[subliminalmaze]

Sometimes we want the attention the other person gives as well probably because we crave something intimate or special. It's not always your fault for wanting something like that. But maybe start distancing yourself from her or you might get hurt.

[Asker]

I already got hurt. In fact I embarrassed myself. We no longer speak. I lost access to her but more importantly I lost my self respect

[subliminalmaze]

If that's the case. You should just focus on yourself more and do your best to build up your self-respect. It's easier said than done but it's not also impossible to try.

[Nikki1989]

Yeah, what kind of relationship is that?

[Anonymous]

She likes your attention nothing more. Drop her flat.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it means she's likely cheating and keeping you on the back burner.

[slatyb]

She just wants your attention. Date someone else.

[Anonymous]

Ask her to hangout?

[Asker]

Already did numerous times. She clearly doesn't want to

[Opinion Owner]

Okay I ses

[Asker]

I know 1 on 1 could be scary for a lot of girls so I try to organize group hangouts and she still doesn't want to. This definitely points to her not being interested but she is not even interested in hanging out as friends so it doesn't make sense.

[Playaplaya34]

Either she's not interested or she's scared

[Opinion Owner]

It makes sense she's not interested

[Asker]

(1) if she is not interested why continue to reach out to me? (2) The reason I invited her out in groups was because I sensed she maybe a little uncomfortable. It's not like I'm a complete stranger. We worked together and talked for years. I don't think she could be scared.

[Opinion Owner]

She doesn't have to hang out with you... you shouldn't be entitled

[Asker]

And I don't have to answer her text or calls. She shouldn't be entitled

[Opinion Owner]

Is she acting entitled?
I feel she's possibly scared or not interested

[Asker]

If she isn't interested why continue to reach out to me?

[Opinion Owner]

She's bored maybe

[Asker]

So it's okay to use people only when you're "bored"?

[Opinion Owner]

Not at all but some people do it. Is there any context I can go off from there? Did y'all fight? Have feelings but it didn't work out?

[Asker]

There was a heated argument and we stopped talking. I think she is done with me because I called her out on some things. For the longest I didn't say anything and then it all just came out and truth was revealed. I had feelings for her but it's clear she didn't have none for me because if she did none of this would've happened

[Opinion Owner]

I think you both weren't ready. Did you apologize to her? Maybe she doesn't want to get involved in that because of that. Or the big fight scared her and she's no longer interested I'm not sure

[Asker]

The big fight happened a while ago and no I didn't apologize. I don't want to apologize via text because in my opinion it wouldn't be sincere. My thing is I don't think she was ever interested because her actions never showed interest. I think the big fight scared her and it caused her to keep her distance from me and I understand. I followed her social media and she followed back but I honestly don't know if that means anything

[Opinion Owner]

It means nothing substantial

[Asker]

I reached out via DMs and she responded. I saw her in person but didn't get a chance to talk to her. I messaged her later and said I wanted to apologize to your face but I missed the opportunity.

[Opinion Owner]

That's good what did she say to that?

[Asker]

She literally didn't respond lol

[Opinion Owner]

She could of been distracted or not interested. You need to move on

[Opinion Owner]

You gone make another song about this? Lol

[laly520]

yes a massive red flag

[Starrrboy]

Yeah definitely..

[HelpfulWoman]

yup!

[shortster]

Definitely.

[Asker]

I agree. this girl is just talking because her actions clearly says otherwise

[Badgirlnatalia]

Kind of it's strange