Why are women and girls so insecure about their appearance?

Question

You can see a lot of questions like , does he like me? Or is he interested in me etc.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

Because it's basically the only thing men really value from women. Which is sad af

lightbulb27 · Answer

comparing themselves to others creates a sense of "I'm not good enough". In essence, they lack self worth and esteem. Frankly... where is that being built in the society? It certainly is torn down and damaged.

RavVid · Answer

How long has beauty been important to women. Probably forever. There are combs 8000 years old. There is rock art of cave women moving their clothes around. There is a proto Indo European word for it.

There is validated evidence that we are more protective of adults with babyfaces and fertile young women have baby faces. So protecting them hooks into a general instinct to protect children. Across cultures baby faces are seen as beautiful.

There is pretty solid evidence (thanks Tinder) male preference is for early 20's women irrespective of the males own age. In ancient massacre burial sites, 20's females are alone absent. Life might not have been good back then but early 20's women survived but older women didn't nor younger girls.

Being beautiful was a life and death matter back then. Nowadays beautiful women get rich. There are clearly benefits in beauty.

But beauty doesn't last forever. Older women didn't escape the massacre pits.

Today a lot of woman would be aware their beauty is not even skin deep but merely makeup deep.

So it makes sense that women and girls are anxious on their beauty. There is about 5 years at their peak and maybe 13 in good nic.

RingOfFire · Answer

Unlike some believe, it doesn't come from some kind of societal trend, it comes from nature. Women were designed to be physically beautiful to attract men and men were designed to be physically and emotionally strong to protect and provide which attracts women. Nature designed women to be fertile when they are young and for that to be attractive to men. It designed men to be more mature and better providers as they get older and that's attractive to women. Then the two get together and the species survives. That's how nature designed men and women. Without that we wouldn't be here.

So women tend to be valued more for their looks which explains the answer to this question. It is why they are much more concerned with their physical appearance than men and why they are upset when they think they lack that power to physically attract men. It is also why the industries that focus on physical beauty such as cosmetics and hair care, clothing, plastic surgery, etc. Make something like 80% of their revenue from sales to women.

Love it or hate it, that's nature.

natured · Answer

There are has many factors
1. Due to relationship Trauma : some Women have been in crazy relationships where they have been called ugly, they have been asked by their partners to change their appearance, as in getting fitter, fatter, longer hair shorter hair and so on...
2. Due to Social media : many women continue to compare themselves to whatever they see on social media and feel insecure, sadly this happens a lot
3. Some Men have high expectations that they think they can't meet, although not many MEN but SOME, and they could be direct about it : I WANT MY WOMAN TO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY and so on
I guess there's many more reasons but in general us Women are never perfectly satisfied with ourselves, I can find you 569 flaws about my appearance, but it won't stop me to continue living or loving.

Brokenheartedx · Answer

Beauty standards in magazines, movies and singers that males will constantly compare the average woman to.. Is it any wonder women and esp girls are insecure.. as a woman it doesn't bother me it bothered me a lot as a teenager though never looking like someone in a girl group or an actress.. what bothers me now is not my looks but the looks of young girls so desperately wanting to look like what they see on TV or magazines.. Plumped up lips and bum implants.. It's not right a teenage girl with goldfish lips and heavy heavy makeup and talking about getting botox it's fucking horrific and they are so insecure because they see their favs on TV or tiktok and wanr to look like them..

DishLady · Answer

Women are generally raised to see their own flaws and to “correct” them to be more appealing to others. Some comply and others don’t. Some develop psychological complexes from being told they’re not appealing as they are, others don’t. Some laugh it all off … and others don’t.

As someone who was critiqued for looking too “different” from the mainstream Marsha Brady trending when I was a kid I always felt it, but after several attempts to tame my Mediterranean locks I gave up on trying to be something I’m not and embraced the waves, which now guys compliment me on all the time. After all, there’s a big chunk of the world that has hair like mine… and the other chunk, once trending, now does whatever they can to have thick wavy locks.

Beauty is a very fickle concept. Just be yourself.

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

I think it's generally due to social pressure in the abstract (the girls they see on Instagram, bullshit they overhear guys saying about attractive--or unattractive--girls, etc.) With good ol' human insecurity that affects everyone to some degree (even if not about appearance)

I've considered this question many times. As far as I can figure, it's social pressure and implied social expections that (many) women feel they don't live up to. It's why a pretty girl is still probably self-conscious about some aspect of her appearance. It's not that she's not pretty. It's that she feels like guys want someone prettier, or hot in a different way. It's social. When I was a kid, it was "magazine models" now it's intagram. Same shit though.

**I'm just some guy. My thoughts on this, mean nothing compared to responses you get from women. Just throwing my view out there since you're asking.**

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Psychology and upbringing aside (too complex), because culture conditions them to relate to physical beauty, just like culture conditions men to relate to physical strength or six packs, for example. It starts right at kindergarten. And if it this course isn't corrected by upbringing, for men and women then... Once in adulthood it might create these expectations, or a variant of: It's fan-ta-stic !

VIVANT · Answer

Why do you assume “does he like me” translates to “I’m insecure about my looks”?

If hypothetically speaking someone liking or not liking someone is solely based on looks…then theoretically I guess that could cause fixation. Regardless of gender.

But I do not think wondering if someone likes you, means you are Insecure about your looks.

On the other hand I think most people feel some kind of weird way about how they look bc bribing around us encourages people to search for perfection, which can’t exist.

ohsheeT · Answer

What are boys and girls men and women are insecure about every thing. .. so
Girls are teased about everything from the way they look.. the way they dress

And in school girls are treated so bad from other girls. . and boys

I think back with the girls I went to school with and I think every girl I new there was always some kinda drama going on and it something they did it's something that someone else did

And to be honest. People just suck Parents and our Society sucks.. Parents do not raise their children anymore. The children raised themselves and they are just bullys. They're mean they're spoiled Most of them.
Have something mental going on , I think back and just about everyone I new in school Had some kind of issue going on now that I think about it

I think I was lucky no body ever teased me I was bullied for about 3 weeks by 3 brothers but I learned how to put that to a end... and it worked but I think it starts young f or girls

xcheerleader_jessx · Answer

Because men are first and foremost visual creatures. Women are too but not as much as men prioritize youth and beauty. That's why it's more common to see young women with older men vs young men with older women. We know men love beauty and that is the initial hook. Personality comes after our beauty has made you stick around for a little bit but I know there are exceptions.

It's sad but I've seen some women go into despair as they age. They feel like they no longer hold value if men are not looking at them. Granted, by their 40s they should have learned to value themselves but if they've never felt loved or matured in thinking they will rely on beauty as a fail safe. They don't understand their value and society is of no help. Unfortunately for them, there is a Mexican saying "God forgives but not time".

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Society does a pretty thorough job on them from a really young age. Basically, they're told that their image and the way they're perceived by others is what gives them value in society.

Go along to get along is drilled into them crazy hard, and they're consistently treated like shit for deviating from the social norms. They're also told that people actively do not give a shit what they think.

There's a very specific "castable" idea of a desirable woman. So... if you get told that sort of thing often enough, why wouldn't you believe it, you know?

thegreenyogi · Answer

I'm not sure if it's so much insecurity on those kinds of questions. Sometimes men for us are difficult to decipher. And our brains are wired differently and where we'd like for to just come out into the open and say what you feel you don't. So we're sat in a corner overthinking every single action or non verbal cues. And the insecurity is dictated by a lack of not knowing. We're complicated beings. There will be times though where women genuinely feel insecure and that's because of the nastiness of people in general and it's not to be taken lightly.

Kelley1 · Answer

Because looks are correlated with intelligence, good health, and athletic ability. That is, a woman's appearance determines a woman's value. However, until they start losing their looks, beautiful women are not insecure about their appearance. That's because they know they are beautiful.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Why are men insecure about their height or their dick size?
The logic is the same

We all have “assets” we think will add to our social value

And if we think our assets don’t hold up we get insecure about it

It’s like bringing a knife to a gun fight

7Phoenix7 · Answer

It's not a gender thing.

There are genuine confident men, and women.

You can call me ugly, overweight, underweight, weird... whatever... i will always know that i am a masterpiece 🔥. Everyone is... if they would focus on their true selves

Vampirelover_12 · Answer

Because it's what we're told to have in life. It's our "value". Meanwhile straight guys don't know what it's like to get rejected because your ass isn't huge enough. Or his measurements aren't 36-24-26.

HighValue · Answer

1. They are obsessed with social media approval and attention.

2. They don't realize how unattractive many women are, that is why so many use makeup to hide their many flaws.

3. They think being average (a 4to 6) is very bad and also uncommon because they don't understand math.

All they need to do is be a 5 or better and don't purposely ruin their looks with tattoos, odd piercings, unnatural hair colors, or become obese.

exitseven · Answer

They have been told from an early age that girls have to be pretty or else Prince Charming will never kiss them. If a guy does not like them they automatically think that they were not pretty enough. 99% of people that have eating disorders are girls. It is cultural not genetic.

alice55 · Answer

I have no idea, in my country too women are very insecure about their appearance for some reasons while they mostly all look good and take care of their appearance

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

It's very hypocritical of them to have these faults and insecurities about themselves. They expect perfection from men, but if the guy they are interested in has any of them they are gone. No compromises about it. Yet guys have to deal with women's faults and insecurities all the time and we're told that if we don't we're not dating material. She takes three hours to get ready and you have to stick through it, yet if you don't really like clubs and crowds you're defective in their eyes.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they are judged by others on their presentation and looks. It can open doors for them or get unwanted attention. They feel it.
They'll say such attention and judgement comes from men which is not wrong but in reality it's the other women that they care about the most.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Because right from when we are little girls we are conditioned to be pretty and to look cute.. If you aren't conventionally pretty you will see it in the way people treat you and that goes with you until you are older.

Annason64 · Answer

Because we are told and shown by men that we're mostly good for our look and if we don't meet these standards we're not worthy of being loved or even sought after. If we don't meet up to society standards we are seen as lazy, letting ourselves go, not caring about ourselves, unattractive etc.

MemeSupreme · Answer

that's bc people on this site are lazy but like in general? we grow up with harsh standards put on our bodies by everything people gotta stop commenting on other's bodies

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

Simple: Us women are told we should be beautiful & attractive by society & anything we consume.

TatesGirl62 · Answer

They're very annoying. They get jealous of me for being fit and going to the gym yet they won't put the fork down. So I really don't know what it stems from sense I'm not an insecure person. Possibly could stem from envy?

chrissykerdock · Answer

how many girls can wear a minidress and have headturn by both sexes even though there's 18 sexes

thnk_pls · Answer

Because everyone talks about your looks, on social media and in real life. And then you get dumped for a more attractive girl, so there it is again

Dargil · Answer

Because women are far more judgmental against other women having to do with appearance. They bring it on themselves

bddddd · Answer

Ummm... why are most responders to this question men? Seriously. Stop the mansplaining. The only opinions anyone cares about are women's lived experiences.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

People in general are insecure when they are lacking in traits they need in order to get what they want.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Cuz they're acculturated to be sexualized & insecure in utero!! Does pampers have a diaper with a thong printed on the back for boys? Lmk...

Anonymous · Answer

Because we are put down and told to look and act in a way that isn't who they are

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Those questions are not about their appearance. They are more about girls who have a crush on a guy and waiting for him to make a move.

NicholasRedone · Answer

Because the makeup industry and millions of jobs, worldwide, rely on women daily 😈😊😈🎉🥳🎉

noohair · Answer

I think it started with TV and the internet made it worse.

blackeagle007 · Answer

Guys are too. For good reasons, women have so many options

David_beckham · Answer

I think it's also with guys; insecurity is a common problem.

msc545 · Answer

Mostly because their appearance is often the only way that they can get some man to pay their bills.

Anon0 · Answer

Why don’t they ever ask does my butt look good in these? Also, cameltoe is beautiful. Don’t feel ashamed

oldpigg · Answer

Because most of them have ugly bodies.

LuxyB · Answer

Just be who you are done fake it. If you looking for a love dont fake don’t chit.

sawets · Answer

Because of her female nature. When he sees better ones, she feels inadequate

Markella2 · Answer

Society tends to tell us who we should date, dress, etc.

Valdemort · Answer

Comparison kills contentment.

Dongie · Answer

Pride, arrogance, vanity. Take your pick.

CruelParadise · Answer

I’m not even sure

LiamJHayden · Answer

Madison Avenue

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

bc of standards men made

Anonymous · Answer

So are most men.

Filthy_Immigrant · Answer

Narcissism

Why are women and girls so insecure about their appearance?

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