I’m curious — why do some women seem drawn to guys who play games or treat them badly?

Question

is it really the excitement and unpredictability of the “bad boy” type that draws you in?
Maybe it’s the thrill, the adrenaline, or the intensity of it all.
Do you think that could be part of why things sometimes end up crossing lines or leading to choices like cheating?

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Depends what you mean.

Some guys have the whole James Dean thing going on and some gals are too inexperienced to know it’s just a game… so they fall for it.

Sometimes the guy is introduced by a trusted friend as “a good guy” but a gal soon learns that a guy saying that another guy is “a good guy” doesn’t translate to his actually being a good person. (He’s typically just fun or entertaining, but not necessarily serious about having a relationship.)

Some guys are just out to get a gal bc of some baggage from a past gal. They set the trap, get the girl then start laying traps for things to fail. It’s a type of psychological jerking off….

Some guys are physically abusive, which (like the toxic ones described above) is just not acceptable.

I’m not saying there aren’t gals like that out there too… but the question is about bad guys…

AvaRay · Accepted Answer

Many women r drawn to bad boys not cause they want drama, but cause there’s an illusion of intensity n passion..

The unpredictability can feel exciting compared to stability, but it’s often a surface thrill, not a foundation for real connection..

The adrenaline n emotional rollercoaster can temporarily feel like love or deep attraction, but true compatibility, respect, n emotional safety rarely come from someone who plays games or disrespects u..

It’s not about being weak or naive, it’s about learning to distinguish real passion from fleeting intensity, n understanding that a lasting bond comes from mutual respect, trust, n authenticity, not chaos..

BeenThereLovedIt · Accepted Answer

It's because there's about 10% top attractive men are banging everything from 4's to 9's and playing them, and when a bitch who is a 4 gets nailed by a 9, even though he just used and ghosted her, no guy 8 or lower can obtain her. She's left gooning for 9's and 10's that are out of her league.

So 80% of men become the victims of blame and resentment for what a small percentage of men did, all while being trashed and denied any interest from these twats.

Far more women (especially married ones) cheat than men, yet they are such professional victims that people believe this nonsense that men are always the bad actors.

Fuck it, fuck them, which is all I do because I have zero respect for "modern women". Nothing modern about it, it's toxic feminism.

rtj1211 · Accepted Answer

Perhaps they grew up in a family where the father was a serial philanderer?

Girls are, after all, most often attracted to men initially that remind them of their father...

Those brought up without a father may also lack discernment on what makes a loving male partner, so they may subconsciously be attracted to men who will replicate their childhood experience?

Cinematic Lily · Accepted Answer

Some women may be drawn to the "bad boy" type due to various psychological reasons, including the thrill and excitement associated with unpredictability. This allure might stimulate adrenaline and curiosity, creating an intense emotional experience. However, this attraction often leads to negative patterns or decisions like cheating because it relies on superficial excitement rather than genuine connection. Understanding personal values and needs can be key to establishing healthy, fulfilling relationships. 💖

heruncommonsense · Answer

All males play games and treat women badly. This is why I refuse to lose my virginity.

Males admit that they are evil:

"All men will commit rape if they think they will get away with it"

"We need government-issued girlfriends"

"Men are simple creatures who only want food and sex"

"Men are biologically wired to cheat" (Implying that males have no self-control)

"Men fib to get women to sleep with them, it's in our genes"

"We have sex with and injure women without consent because we don't like taking no for an answer"

Last one is from Berethor, a user on here

emeraldsaphire · Answer

🙄 Because it's not like guys also get into toxic abusive relationships with women.

Toxic people are attracted to toxic people. When you have a history of being neglected or abused, you can often subconsciously look for the traits that your past abuser had. Oftentimes if you find a partner that doesn't share those traits people lose interest because they confuse fear and instability with sparks and romance.

NoDecision · Answer

Because they just make bad choices in men. So many women are killed by jealous mates that it has become an everyday notice in the news. You wonder, is this the best she could find? And for that choice, she winds up dead. I don't see the attraction when seeing the consequence of it all.

jshm2 · Answer

The same reason some women date serial killers, and known criminals. They are control freaks - and it makes them feel "big" to have something others fear, under their control.

However, what a lot of these women realize too late, is that these guys know these women better than they know themselves.

RavVid · Answer

Women's ancestral brain has a deep seated need to seek protection and a man that treats them as an equal and with consideration doesn't cut the mustard at an unconscious level.

If a girl can push a guy around he won't be much good in the protection stakes.

So they intuitively seek men who don't give a shit about them.

Obvious flaws in this today but it worked well for Ancestral Eve so every girl has this unconscious logic in her brain.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Will this myth ever go away?

guesswhereivebeen · Answer

That’s just how the game goes… the less your all up in her business and act like you don’t give a shit the more she’ll want you… people always want what they can’t have… it’s actually a sales technique I used to use selling cars… when someone wants to see a base model let them sit in the loaded version while you go find the cheap one… then when you say here’s yours over ueee that’s not for you they want it …

mysteriousNicholas · Answer

@srazo shrug - like all of the strange goings on in life - animal world or human world - one can only guess a range of reasons or factors - low self esteem - poor history - mental ; etc

List could be endless

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

It’s because the men manipulate them and know the women are susceptible to being manipulated. Why does everyone want to say it’s the woman’s fault for getting played/abused?

Flower7 · Answer

This is so old. People who think this way should get out more.

MJVillarama · Answer

Sometimes it’s about confidence, mystery, or just the thrill of the chase, not that they actually want to be treated badly. It’s more about the energy than the actions.

Anonymous · Answer

"bad boys" don't necessarily treat women badly it's because "good boys" are simps relying on their "good" personality with nothing else to offer

beenherebefore · Answer

The bad boy is usually more attractive than the nice guy. Is hard to explain.

Anonymous · Answer

aren't you tired of this cliche question by now it keeps popping up repeatedly what kind of ansqer do you expect so why are men drawn to gold digger women im curious

qwerty2469 · Answer

Women are controlled by emotion and instincts. Bad boys win more, because rules are for good people and good is dumb. Better decisions equals better position. Its that easy folks.

Jhon_Cobretti · Answer

Women were treated like shit for the most part of human history. Some instincts are deeply rooted. Not sure if it is a defense mechanism or biological cope.

zagor · Answer

Probably because those guys are VGL, rich, or great in bed.

Staximus · Answer

Because they think they need stupid drama in their life

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Probably, especially lots of black women who dote on thugs.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they think with their vaginas and not their heads.

exitseven · Answer

it is low self esteem.

Anonymous · Answer

The same reason why good guys like bad girls.

Bloodbreath · Answer

Maybe because it's kind of manly..

Anonymous · Answer

Cheating father raised her

I’m curious — why do some women seem drawn to guys who play games or treat them badly?

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