After women treat you like this, why do they think they deserve respect?

Question

I want to start out by saying that I know that guys are disrespectful to girls that don't look that good but you never see a guy slap a girl if she pays him a compliment. You'll understand when you read below.

I notice that my friends get treated like kings when we go out to places. Girls will come up out of nowhere and talk to them, they get phone numbers all the time without asking. If we go out for a night on the town it's no problem for them to bring a girl back to their place or whatever.

I on the other hand am not as good looking as they are. I'm always polite, I'll open the door for a girl or ask women if they are carrying a lot of stuff if they need help. But the reaction is completely different. All of our personalities are close to the same. I always look at people in their eye when I talk to them, I can reason out anything with the best of them, but am still treated poorly by women.

I was talking to this girl one time. I thought we were hitting if off. She seemed really nice and funny. After about 4 strait hours of talking to her I told her she had nice hair. She slapped me harder than anyone has ever hit me in my life

I met a friend's girlfriend the other day. He introduced her to 2 of my other friends first. She shook their hands talk to them. When he introduced me to her she wouldn't shake my hand and ignored me.

I tried to help a woman that dropped something at the store one time. She sprayed me with mace. Caught me off guard, I ran to the bathroom never got the chance to ask her why.

I went on a date with a girl I met at church, and when I stood up I passed out. I have a blood sugar problem. When I came to she had left me there. I had to walk 7 miles home, feeling sick.

Today I had a girl tell me that I was not good looking enough to be nice to her.

I don't understand why women around 26-31 act this way. When I ask them what the problem is all they do is twist what I ask them into me generalizing about all women. They never answer my question. What is their problem? I don't understand why I have to respect them for who they are anymore. Why do they think they deserve respect when they won't treat me with any?

seregiel · Accepted Answer

I think the issue is people at large here. People don't like ugly things.It brings unpleasant feelings to the fore front. Plus, a lot of people are stereotypical in their mindset. For some reason things that are pretty are glorified and portrayed to always be good and right and all of the positives of life, and the ugly are automatically assumed to desereve it.

So keeping that in mind, a pretty person that meets what they deem to be an ugly person with a prettier personality with them will make them extremely uncomfortable. This happened to a friend of mine once: She is extremely gorgeous, and she went out on a date with a guy that she said was not attractive at all and she behaved horridly to him. She felt bad about doing it afterward, but at the same time if you aren't the least bit physically attracted to the person she knew there was no possibility of a relationship. And even more she was jealous that he was able to be so nice and act likehe wasnt ugly at all, not self-conscious, not anything, just a down to earth good guy. She said she felt like shy pitied him because he deserved to be handsome and that it made her feel even worse because there was no way she deserved to be pretty when she had a worse disposition then him.

There is also another problem going on subconsciously for a lot of women: they want to have physically attractive children. For somereason physically attractive is associated with being healthier. On top ofthat, if you are poor, your offspring have a better chance of improving their life via marriage or careers or education if they feel confident in their looks. Basically -they don't want their kids to have the same issues you are going through right now. Yes, that is shallow, I know, but there you go.

In the long term, most women will realize that they want the nice guy instead of the abercrombie and fitch model. It just takes along time, and I am truly sorry about that. Maybe try switchin up the venues you pick up girls at, because that too will determine the kind of guy they are looking for. My bet is ifyou look into places like libraries, coffee shops, music shops, museums and the like you will find more girls into the nice guy then the beautiful body builder in her mind.

Reeses-pieces777 · Accepted Answer

Not all women ar elike that.
It's called 'consideration' and 'compassion' and 'respect'
These women who are mean, maybe have some sort of self-esteem issue, they are naturally bitchy and like to put others down so they can feel good about themselves - this behaviour is very sad and not good at all.
I mean, what if they meet this same person in the future and the guy is suddenly really hot and loaded with money, they won't consider dating those mean women.
I mean, it all comes down to basically having compassion and being civil and mannered.
My parents brought me up in a household where we respect each other, treat others as how we would like to be treated ourselves, to not make fun of people (obviously because it is hurtful to other peoples and it's just not right)
Sometimes, you have to work on it yourself
I wasn't the prettiest girl in highschool, so I learnt to use makeup and exercised, and now I'm quite attractive and lots of gus notice me, so, sometimes being pro-active about the matter helps as well.
It goes both ways ^_^

Miss_Desirae · Accepted Answer

That's terrible... I'm so sorry that stuff has happened to you... I truly am... I don't know why any girl would do that. That seems really weird. It seemed like you were just being nice, and so I don't really understand why the girls you seem to run into would be so mean. No one deserves to be treated like that. With such horrible experiences, I can see why you feel the way you feel towards most women. I agree, women like that don't deserve your respect, but not all of us are like that. Overall, you are the better person than those girls, and they are the ones who missed out to be with a really nice, polite guy. I hope you are able to find a girl who truly deserves what you can offer. Good luck, and I wish you happiness.

Eartha · Accepted Answer

You just don't walk up to hot girls and try to be overly polite and nice and say stuff like "nice hair"... that's just creepy and despo, dude. The sooner you realize that, better. Women DO NOT want guys to be submissive and weak around them. I've seen some really ugly guys get hot gfs so don't tell me that the root of these problems is your ugliness because its not. The problem lies in your personality, in you letting people walk all over you.

Newport's answer is near perfect.. "There has to be something your not telling us like when you told her she has nice hair. "

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

some women are real bitches. I think for some reason you are attracted to those whore bitches. look at the kind of girls you are attracted to and see if there is a pattern, I assume they are the loose whores who dress little, loads of make up and there only goal is to get f***ed by the hottest guy they can find., why don't you find real women with interests similar to yours. whores who come up to guys are the girls who are used their whole life only for sex, but no one really cares about them. and by the time they reach 40 and their looks fade they realise they've wasted there whole lives, they are nothing and have no real skills.

dont come across as desperate and don't make it look like you just want sex that puts women off. I don't think I am the best looking guy, but I do have a lot of confidence and act like an alpha male, therefore I get plenty of female attention. the more confident you are, the more women, the more confident you get. it can work the other way as well, you get unconfident, girls reject you and then you become more unconfident. by the way, I feel terrible about some of these horribly ghastly women you have met, slapping you and leaving you when you faint. I don't know what part of the world you are from, but here in england that is considered f***ed up behaviour and we would call those girls retarded and weird. real evil bitches here are the tips to get you back up

1) don't look just for sex, look for a real relationship

2) if you are just looking for sex, never make it look likke you are desperate. act like you don't give a sh*t, be cool, calm like james bond. not the idiot chasing after loads of girls numbers.

3) start doing weights, take up a sport or something to build up your self-confidence so you have something to compensate for your supposed average looks.

4) when out with friends, stop staring at girls, just have a good time with your friends and eventually girls will start to notice you

5) if you are not going to do anything else I said at least do this one, look up TOM LEYKIS on youtube and learn from the master, he will help you for sure.

hope that's been helpful

GoodManDave · Accepted Answer

I've been slapped and for no reason and she laughed. Luckily, it was a one time deal. Simply put, I had no clue what I to say so I just left.

Later on, she happened to be in a class I was in; she was always trying to talk to me. So, I just asked her why she had slapped me. Especially when she didn't even really know me. See, she was addicted to a lot of drugs that made her really insane. Cocaine, speed, heroin, etc, so she probably thought it was funny.

I'm cautious to believe this stuff, because I've not been slapped. Girls just don't want anything to do with me. It's rare when I can have a decent conversation with a girl. They think I'm ugly, they think I'm worthless, and that I'm incredibly stupid. But, even girls don't usually slap me unless they're on something.

If this happened, it may be that they're on drugs/ drunk or just messed up in the head. Not that this is an excuse for them to do that, because it's still not right.

Otherwise, it could be some terrible misunderstanding; like you were nervous and looked down when you said "nice hair" and the girl thought you were staring at her crotch and making a filthy comment about THAT hair.

As for the other situations I can't tell you. Even for the examples above, not being there, I can only guess at what it could be.

Did anyone help you when you passed out? Was anyone around? What about those people?

I think it's obvious, stay away from these women.

Newport100 · Answer

I can honestly say I am not an attractive guy. I have never been treated like that though. There has to be something your not telling us like when you told her she has nice hair. no woman I have ever met doesn't like being told something nice about her, even if she is a "stone cold queen bitch" the worst that can happen is she rolls her eyes, laughs at you, shakes her head or some other type of body language showing disapproval. Woman are not inclined to violence, it takes a lot to get slapped in the face by a woman. Somehow you hurt her, I mean was she balding? and she took your comment as being sarcasitic?

I have a feeling you come across as being arrogant or being a smart-ass. Although you might not think you are. Now think about it, your good-looking friends can get away with a lot more crap than you can cause...they are attractive. Sucks but its true, better to be realitic about it. Just be honest with yourself and realize you can get away with the things they can. Be yourself, not them.

Just think about how much crap you'll take from a super hot woman and if a less attractive female (whatever you consider less attractive) did that same exact thing...you would get quickly annoyed with her.

Hopefully you don't slap the less attractive woman...

Not sure how I can help you but your situation seems like comedy. Some of your stories seem a bit unrealistic like the hair slap story and the church lady making you walk 7miles home. and the mace story sounds like something from a Jim Carrey movie.

The handhshake story seems realistic, it can happen.
and being told your not goodlooking enough to be nice to her sounds realistic. Some women can be rude jerks just like some guys.

Bottom line: Be yourself, not your friends. It seems your personality type doesn't fit your appearance. Also think about this, when you meet a lady do you have something in the back of your mind telling you "Somethings going to go wrong"?

Anonymous · Answer

Big question, what kind of girls are you seeing? Like I have said to many girls on this site who complain about "all men" being jerks, where I believe they just go straight for the bad boys, passing up the genuine guys, get treated badly, whine about all men sucking, find another bad boy, and complete the cycle (again). Are you seeking the out-of-your reach stuck up "hot" girls? Most hot girls are bitches. I stopped looking up to them in high school, and found that attractiveness is mostly from the inside. The girls that "aren't that pretty" are also the sweetest and most gentlest ones I have ever met.

Or do you come off disrespectful? I mean, I do some of the things you do, like picking stuff up for them or opening doors, and I am never treated that bad. And I don't consider myself attractive by a long shot.

As for the girl from church.I'd question her faith. What a Bitch (capital B intended)! Leaving someone who blacked out behind IS NOT something that God would look up upon. I hope she knows how to confess or repent.

Anonymous · Answer

Wow well let me tell you this I have been slapped before now I didn't hit back but I told her, make your hand into a fist and compare the size when I make a fist, her reaction yours fist is bigger, and I said exactly then I said compare your muscle strength to mine, and you tell me which one would hurt more, and that is why I will not hit a woman it would be like the hulk hitting a kitten. Their little fists of furry do nothing to me. Now that's one way to get them to realize they better not piss ya off anymore.

If I had to walk 7 miles to my house because some little slut left me there due to a medical problem, the next time I saw her, I would put her in her place, probably call her every degrading name in the book, and yes I would make her cry and no I wouldn't feel bad if I did make her cry in fact it would probably make me feel good knowing that if a woman tries to pull that crap on me the outcome will be worse for her than it will me.

I don't understand why guys put up with women doing stuff like that to them, hell no not me, and maybe that's your problem your letting them get away with this stuff, I don't know what is happening to guys these days, it seems like the alphas are dying off and the men that are being replaced are these submissive wimps to women. They bow to them, why, why would you do that. Don't guys realize women liars they lie about everything, and do they ever ask you if they can spend time with their friends, hell no they say bye be back later, so why should a man have to ask permission for anything, he is a man he does what he wants. Am I the only guy whose like this there's gotta be more of us.

Camilus · Answer

A woman liked you enough to have a 4 hour chit chat with you but slapped you in the face for saying "nice hair?" ...whaaaaaat?

A woman sprayed you with mace when you tried to help her out because you are too ugly?

Look, you and I (and apparently some other users on here) know this is a BS story ...but at least it was kinda entertaining tho. I know you want to get a point across but this stuff isn't credible at all, especially when you are talking about 30 year old women and not kids in middle school.

missnicole · Answer

I don't know..but those women are very wierd. Are you meeting them in a phych ward or something? Seriously...no matter how unattracted, weirded out or uncomfortable around a guy (not saying that's you..just saying, if I feel that way around someone) I'm not going to get violent or nasty with him.

Dont take how someone nasty behaves as a reason to treat women with no respect, but at the same time...dont put weight into how these women are towards you...they don't deserve the time or energy.

So very weird though that you keep getting into these kind of situations...Ive never..ever heard of someone who continuously had that sort of effect on women. If I were youd, Id pay attention to my tone, in how I say things, or how you look at/check out women... Non verbal behavior could be the culprit here...I don't know.

dasouthernicon · Answer

Dude, start taking some inventory of yourself... most women are not like these chicks ur using as ur story... Most girls are as confused about guys as guys are about women... I been whar you are- it suxs big time.. let these chicks go (by that I mean the feelings, the images in ur head) before it ruins you... Keep ur mind open,  because the girls who are feelin you come wenya least expect it... I say quit trippin- leave these females be... why worry over someone who won't give you the time of day? Plus, why are you generalizing women? We as men get generalized all the time- I know you hate being generalized... so here's the skinny: Let them bad memories go, re-think ur "game" towards women, and quit crying... Look to your future- the past is the past for a reason... Also, do you really want those kind of women in ur life? they want something (an image) that's based on what they see. Look, there's nothing wrong with you- just live ur life...

theana · Answer

i am so so sorry they are setting a bad reputation for all women but not all women are like that I know I am not like that and I would never do that I would only slap you if you deserved it other wise I wouldent do it at all and I would never do the other stuff that the women have done to you on here and it has nothing to do with you at all it all has to do with them and there messed up minds so when a women does that to you again just don't blame your self and get the police to take away those crazy women who do that to you p.s. happy new year I hope things get better for you

wils0722 · Answer

Well, I'm 23, and I think the women you have met are complete bitches. WHO SLAPS SOMEONE!? that's ridiculous.

I will tell you that if you meet a girl in a bar, she will be superficial. Bars are not the place to meet women especially if you're looking for something more than someone to just go home with for the night.

Have a friend set you up with someone who is a real woman, who can be at least polite if she is not interested in you.

Remember, girls play with the bad boys who look like Brad Pitt, but when they're finally ready to settle down, they look for someone with a little more depth to them than just good looks. Hang in there, the right girl will come along!

Speakerboxxlurv · Answer

OMG, ok i`m a girl and I just think that, what is happening to you is totally freakin` wrong.
The girls you are approaching seem to be the wrong type of girls for you, maybe that`s the problem. Orit`s where you live. Because around here, a lot of not so good looking guys can be seen with drop dead gorgeous females. Maybe you should try approaching other girls besides those kinds. Maybe you`re attracted to snobby bitches and they`re not attracted to you. Don`t worry about their judgments, cause i`m sure they look amess themselves. NO ONE is perfect. So you know what don`t worry about it .

but I feel so bad. . it`snot every girl who`s like them though . they should learn some effin` respect !

white-girl-e · Answer

lol maybe you happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time...

cuz I never met people like you described...u must really really give off an uncomfortable aura around u...& I doubt its because ur bad looking because woman are usually kind to ugly ones because they feel bad...&&&&& actually like me, I ignore good looking guys, and I don't pay them mind at all..and the old woman who sprayed you probably thought you trying to kidnap her or smthng..maybe ur big and scared her

Anonymous · Answer

i think what these girls did was absurd.
and something I would never do.
but it does make me uncomfortable when a complete stranger compliments me. I just say thank you and try to get away. it doesn't matter what the dude looks like. I guess I don't feel that confident about myself, and a complete stranger saying stuff is uncomfortable.
just try to get to know them and be fun and nice and save the compliements for the second or third date. they will already know you like something about them when you ask them out.
and try not to pour on the compliements too thick either. just a little here and there.

perryvillecheerchick · Answer

i know some girls will treat guys very poorly. but its not like that for all of us. like me I think you can't judge a guy on his looks you have to get to know both sides of the guy. Some girls think very highly of themselves and think they just act like its all about them. they will soon relieze that you can't base a relationship off of looks because that won't last long at all. your doing the right thing by treating them with the respect because that is something that will get you some where even if its not right now it will.

UnicornLoveChild · Answer

I hope I don't act like that when I'm 26-31 :p
all I can say is, maybe you're talking to women who are stuck up bitches.
Try talking to a nice, polite girl. She may not be as hot, but she definately won't
treat you like shit if you compliment her.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree with missnicole. Also you could try asking your friend to ask his girlfriend (the one you met) what she thinks of you and maybe she will say something that is a clue to why she or other girls are perceiving you strangely.

I have never known girls to act like that. Maybe I'm biased because I'm a girl but it seems like many of my friends and girls I know in general are more attracted to caring, funny, compassionate guys over people with a hot face they've only seen once.

Natlo21 · Answer

To be honest, the reason is that these girls are insecure and they feel like if an ugly guy hits on them then they must be "in his league." If they don't want to be in his league/ think of themselves that way, they are going to react badly. It's a horrible way to behave, and there is no defence for it, but that's the reason.

Although some of these reactions are completely INSANE and way beyond normal insecurity.

Hollister78 · Answer

ummmm what bitches... and I'm sorry but the mace thing kinda made me laugh...gotta laugh at another persons pain sometimes when isn't life threatening lol. anyways I mean I could see if you had like warts all over your face why they would freak out but not being the best looking guy in the place isn't a reason to  be rude

ALWAYSclassy · Answer

All women don't act like that so please don't start disrespecting them because of what some did to you.  I have honestly never heard of people acting like that so I can't tell you why they did.  They just seem like a bunch of superficial bitches to be honest.  Just because you're not goodlooking (beauty is in the eye of the beholder) doesn't mean you have to be rude to people.  Where are you meeting these girls?

Mellene · Answer

Girls can be mean - to guys and girls if they aren't so good looking/attractive!
I absolutely hate when they act cocky.
Personally I am polite to every guy I talk to, what it has to do with the looks,
ofc I'm paying big attention to what I'm saying because I don't want
to flirt with a guy I don't fancy!

Shlei3 · Answer

I find this very hard to believe to be honest. If it is true than there could be something you are doing offensively such as leering at them or even being creepy.

Gotcha · Answer

There are only two possibilities here;  you are either the unluckiest guy out there or your story is full of crap.  I'm going with the latter.  Your story sounds like a Jekyll-Hyde guy whine for attention.

After women treat you like this, why do they think they deserve respect?

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