When a girl who uses emoticons regularly in her emails/messages suddenly stops using them...

[Anonymous]

does that mean she's upset with you? How would you read that?

I talk to this girl regularly and she would always use smiley emoticons or others in them. Suddenly she's stopped using them. even when she says things like 'have a good day."

Not only that but I also see her posting on others walls on Facebook and she will put smileys in her messages with them.

So what's going on here? Girls would you do this intentionally to a guy? What would make you stop using them? does it mean something?

Updates

+1 y

i have gotten into an argument with her... but I said I'm sorry to her and she has responded to me with positive remarks. it's just the emoticons being absent has definitely not gone unnoticed. How long does it take for someone to stop being upset at you?

Updates

+1 y

It all worked out finally. We are back on track. She was upset with me and she said she 'doesn't fake emoticons' which is why she did not use them with me.

[Eiffelgirl21]

It is really REALLY hard to say. I would give it a little more time. It could be numerous things.

1. She could be 'testing' you. Yes, I said it! Some girls, just like guys, test the person they are talking to in order to see if they care and how much they care. A simple question on if she is mad at you will suffice this. OR You can ignore it..and eventually she will go back to normal.

2. She could be upset with you...But, I doubt it. Have you done anything to upset her? If your answer is 'I don't think so' , then this is not the case.

3. Maybe she got a boyfriend, and he doesn't want her being 'friendly' to you?

4. Maybe she isn't exactly testing you, but more on the lines of wanting MORE attention? And, backing off so you give her more? Women do this.

I doubt it is because she thinks you might like her, and she doesn't want to give you mixed signals...I send smiley faces to people I DON'T like and they give them back. I would never think it is flirting. But, I do know, guys/girls can get very territorial about these things..so, it could be that she has/or met another guy who doesn't like it.

[Asker]

I'll give it a little more time. but yes I have gotten into an argument with her... but I said I'm sorry to her and she has responded to me with positive remarks. it's just the emoticons being absent has definitely not gone unnoticed. How long does it take for someone to stop being upset at you? I'll give it a little more time, but ill be honest it does hurt me a little seeing her give smiley emoticons to others and not me. I feel like she's excluding me from something.

[Eiffelgirl21]

aww. Well, was the argument something that could have made her feel worthless? Or ugly..or unloved? This could be the 'testing' tactic..and want to see just how much you care..Anyway, I would give it a little longer. And, make sure to put a bunch of smileys in texts. And, go all out and out like 5 in a row or something. If after a few more days, she doesn't seem to change, then talk to her about it. And, ask her is she is still mad at you. Why? Because, she isn't the 'same' when texting.

[Eiffelgirl21]

thanks for BA :D

[Eiffelgirl21]

@update: good! I guess you asked her then?

[Asker]

Yup.

[heavenonearth]

It could be, but that's more likely if she's doing more than just not using emoticons. If she's not really initiating conversations anymore, keeping them short when they occur, kind of blowing you off, and also not using her usual text faces on you (while using them for everyone else), that's a pretty good indicator that she's upset with you over something.

Another possibility, if that's not the case, is that she's trying not to say anything that could be construed as flirting. Are you interested in her? If you are and she knows or suspects that, one of the reasons she might have dropped the emoticons is that she doesn't want to lead you on. =/

This is my interpretation by the way, I haven't really done something like this.

[heavenonearth]

Aw, yeah I guess it depends on what the argument was about and how upset she was over it. Just give her some time and I'm sure it'll blow over.

[heavenonearth]

Okay cool, glad it worked out. :)

[ShootingStar5]

Hm... it's hard to say. How long have you known this girl for and how long ago did she stop using the emoticons? It could just be a fluke, meaning nothing strange is going on. It could be that she's upset so is sticking to very basic communication. If she seems like she's talking to your normally other than the loss of emoticons though I doubt this is the reason. Another possibility is that maybe she was feeling something for you so she was being very flirty and smiley, but maybe something happened that changed her mind or got her to start liking someone else so now she isn't being flirty anymore. It's hard to say exactly what it is without actually knowing her though.

[Asker]

I've known her for 4 months now. she just stopped using them about 4 days ago.

Would you ever stop using emoticons with a guy?

[ShootingStar5]

Maybe, if I was upset with someone I wouldn't be using smiley faces with them that's for sure. But I also noticed that sometimes I go through brief periods of not using them much for no particular reason.

[Asker]

Would it have to do with your mood or how you see the other person?

[ShootingStar5]

Usually it has to do with how I see the other person. I'm very rarely in a bad mood and even when I am I think I usually still use emoticons when I talk to my friends. But everybody's different, so you can't judge just from one girls opinion lol

[ShootingStar5]

And what I mean by that is if they did something to upset or offend me, then it affects how I talk to them.

[Asker]

How?

[ShootingStar5]

I'd stick to the basics when I talk to them, short responses and all that and I wouldn't use emoticons except maybe a sad face or something.

[Asker]

Is it usually temporary? or would you always do that from then on?

[ShootingStar5]

It depends on how upset they got me. If they just annoyed me or did something minor that upset me then it would only last as long as I was upset for. But if they did something bad enough that would make me not want to be their friend anymore then it would be permanent.

[Asker]

Could that happen through an argument you had with them?

[ShootingStar5]

Yeah that's when it's most likely to happen.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you could just be making something out of nothing.

Or this could be one of those areas where girls are making what they think are perfectly clear signals, and we just can't see them whizzing by our signal-blind heads.

[Asker]

I want to believe it's nothing.. but it's hard to ignore this. I mean she would literally put emoticons in EVERY message she sent me. now they are absent. I don't get it at all

[Eiffelgirl21]

LOL at anonymous for saying 'think are perfectly clear signals' I know what you mean! I do it..sometimes..I don't mean to!

[Apodyopsis]

This happens to me sometimes. I could have had an argument with someone, and it's fine and resolved - but I can't go back to being all lovey dovey. I'm wary and I need a little time to revert back to my nature. It doesn't mean I'm mad at that person or I want them to grovel at my feet begging for mercy. I just need a little time.

That said, she might be different. Maybe she wants more attention from you. You know her more than we do. Is this the first time this happens? Is this the first argument you had? Maybe she sees you differently after the argument? I have no idea.

[Deft_maiden]

Have you ever met her? Plan to? Does she initiate conversations now? Or she is just being cordial when talk?

It seems she may be distancing herself for a variety if reasons. Maybe she came to a realization of sorts. Or she has picked another favorite. A common phenomenon in online situations.

[Asker]

Nah I've never met her in person. but she hasn't like sent me any messages or anything unless it's a response to mine.

[Deft_maiden]

Sounds like it pretty clear then. I'd reduce initiating convos. Maybe one or twice a week and slowly wean yourself off. Find another girl. This is how online friendships go :(

[goflipaburger]

I think that she might just still be recovering from the argument. She might still be a little bothered by it or uncomfortable with being the same as before but things should go back to normal soon :)

If things don't go back to normal in a few weeks, ask her if there's anything she wants to tell you or if anything is bothering her.

but I wouldn't read too into it.

[Feefee]

Don't you talk to her in person or through the phone? How come you guys only communicate online or via texting? Texting has no body language or tone, so it is very limited to be able to tell if someone is mad at you through texts.

[angelwithin]

2 words: ask her -- best way to resolve this situation.

[Asker]

I'm not ready to do that yet. I'm looking for insight. would YOU do something like this if you were upset at a friend?

[angelwithin]

i have and I still do.. I'm a very straightforward person, so if I'm upset it shows.

it's how my 2 best friends know I'm off on a certain day (they're both guys btw.. so just saying guys can understand this girl code thing).

i don't mean to.. I type exactly what I think, so if I smile or laugh, you get a "lol" or a ":)" lol <err, see? well.. anyway, just ask her "is everything ok?" and if she says "yes, why?" then tell her that she hasn't been using the smiley's and you miss it. it's that easy.

[dragongirl8711]

yeah that really is hard to say... I guess for me it would depend on how long my messages are. if they're long I usually don't use those but if they're short then I do. it all depends on how lazy I'm feeling, lol