Your boyfriend wakes up screaming, what do you do?

Question

Imagine you're sleeping with a boyfriend (pretend you have one). He wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming, covered in sweat. What do you do? Don't just say "comfort him." How do you comfort him? Do you hug him? Do you rub his shoulders or wipe his forehead? Do you talk to him softly, or do you talk to him in a loud voice? What do you talk about? Please be specific.

I'm discussing the effects of trauma in a literary context and it's relation to women and this would be helpful.

Thanks.

saelym · Accepted Answer

Release the vice grip on his penis and apologize.

Just kidding.

Obviously, this is using the case of my boyfriend specifically.

There have been a couple of times that I've noticed my boyfriend starting to freak out while he's asleep - either I'm still up reading/working on a project or it'll wake me up. In those cases, if I can rouse him just a little, he'll go back to sleep and be just fine.

It would be different if I didn't catch it until he was up and screaming, though. The first thing I would do is check if he's actually awake - every so often he'll talk in his sleep, less often does he get up. He looks different and his reactions aren't the same when he's still technically asleep, so I check that first. Startling someone when they're doing anything in that state can be dangerous, so I'd have to tenderly keep him in bed and slowly work on getting him out of sleep. He responds best to being talked to quietly and having his face stroked gently.

Once he is fully awake, it would be much easier to comfort him. That involves speaking to him softly, wiping away the sweat, getting him water or tea, and holding him until he tells me he feels better. He likes me to lightly scratch his back, scalp, and arms, so I'd do that for a while. To get him to relax further, I'd use some of my lavender balm. When he was really sick a couple of months ago, the easiest way to get him to sleep was to put a little on his chest and wrists and then massage some into his temples.

He doesn't like to talk much when something is bothering him, so I'd skip the chatter until he was ready. I find it more effective to calm him down and get him back to sleep before addressing what caused the problem.

oOsweet~o~nessOo · Accepted Answer

First thought would be WHOA WTF?! Because I'd think our house is getting like robbed or on fire or something.

Turn to him and ask him what's wrong - put my hand around his back, pull him into a hug, rub and tell him it's alright, I'm here - some soothing words to calm him down a bit.

Get him something to drink - actually, I'd bring him down to the kitchen with me, make him something to nibble on / drink and then chat about what happened.

Idk - it helps me to leave the room I had the bad dream in and get back to reality for a second - so maybe it will help him to? ( Of course he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want, but I just want him to be 100% okay anyway I can.)

If it's something pretty serious, like maybe he dreamed about some past traumatic experience, I'd stay up with him however long for him to talk about it or get it out of his system.

Anonymous · Answer

I would wipe the hair that's stuck on his forehead due to the sweat. I'd wipe the rest of his face with my hand, get him a glass of water and sit behind him, massaging his shoulders and neck. I'd speak to him softly, ask him what was wrong, discuss anything he'd like to talk about. I'd stop massaging him, pull him into me and stroke his hair/face whilst telling him a story to help him get back to sleep. And I wouldn't move out of that position until he's snoring. Then I'd cuddle up to him so he knows I'm right there with him.

Bombshell13 · Answer

It depends somewhat on the guy. I've know guys who would want to be touched and soothed and some who would want a glass of water and a second to breathe. I guess if it's completely up to me... In my mind he's sitting up so I stroke his back and he can talk about whatever it was or I'll get him water if he wants. When he wants to go back to sleep or lay back down I'll snuggle up with him his favorite way and keep stroking him or talking to him soothingly.

Loveingsweetypie · Answer

I would try to comfort him with a gentle, loving voice while caress him, hugging him, trying to calm him down, holding him into me, saying everything will be alright, maybe talk with him about his dream or  past things that's happened in his life if he wanted to.

NayaAbouzaid · Answer

Well first I will be shocked and will most probably scream as well , but when that's over : if he is still screaming , freaking out or his heart is racing then I would give him one of those deep , tight and strong hugs ( its proven scientifically that hugs relax the nervous system) , so hug until he calms down .

Because I won't SAY anything , I'm sleepy , tired and we are both not in a state to talk lol , so we could talk in the morning but for now calm him down with physical contact :D

Anonymous · Answer

I don't and wouldn't sleep with my boyfriend so I wouldn't be there to comfort him. Something I could see myself doing to comfort him is probably rub his back and hold him like a baby because and ask him if he's okay in a soft voice because I'm very nurturing like that, but first I would be pretty startled myself if he screamed. This is something I would do to anyone I'm close who wakes up screaming.

IdontWantToBeMe · Answer

comfort him ? lol geez he's a grown man can't he get over a bad dream without being coddled

JennyBenny318 · Answer

I'm just still sleeping. My boyfriend told me he's done this before. But he's OK. Then he falls back to sleep.

ArrograntWarrior · Answer

I would wake up and look at my penis and realize it's a bad dream and go back to sleep

Anonymous · Answer

I would hold him in my arms and get him a glass of water.

Your boyfriend wakes up screaming, what do you do?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What do you do when your boyfriend yells at you so loud and yells over you trying to say something and he won't let you?

Your boyfriend wakes up screaming, what do you do?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What do you do when your boyfriend yells at you so loud and yells over you trying to say something and he won't let you?

We're glad to see you liked this post.