Good looking guy but alone?

[someniceguy]

hello everyone. I am a good-looking guy and I don't have any girlfriend. It doesn't work when I approach a girl. Its making me lonely. I do attract girls but those ones whom I can't put up with. I have recently lowered my standards but its even worse. Average girls act like jerks to me.

I just don't know what to do. I am in an engineering school with very few girls. whenever I show interest in a girl , it just gets circulated all over the school. there are some with boyfriend. their boyfriends constantly try to make fun of me.

My old friends pity me as I am lonely. I am an absolute loser now.

If you could give me any hope , I shall highly appreciate.I don't care about good looks any more. I want an average girl. can you tell me what to do? how to approach them?

[OpenClose]

Okay, let me pick apart the question piece by piece.

"I'm a good-looking guy" says a guy who calls himself "someniceguy". Stop claiming titles for yourself, it'll only make you bitter and give you a sense of entitlement. By distancnig yourself from titles, you'll find you feel a lot more free and authentic.

Rule #1 for attracting girls: Be authentic.

Screw the BS the Pick-Up-Artist community will say, or those crazy "get laid" guides. Girls know when you put on a mask, and it creeps them out. They don't know what your REAL intentions are if you can't even be yourself.

Engineering school? Yeah, I might look elsewhere. If you have to compete with tons of guys, getting her attention could become more of a pain than the chill, fun thing it should be. Mind you, if the opportunity arises to have a nice chat, don't turn it down. But don't put all your thought and stress into winning her over.

(Chances are, her standards are rather idiotic because she's probably only looking at the top dogs and/or puts herself on a pedestal. I wouldn't make that assumption, but if you feel you're having trouble meeting her standards, the problem is probably the standards and not you.)

"Average girls act like jerks to me". They're probably making judgements on you based on the presumably many approaches they get. Another reason I would look to a more female-oriented group if you're looking to date someone. Try local Yoga, Pilates, etc. Something that isn't considered traditionally "dude-like". If you're outnumbered by women, you generally just have to be yourself and be outgoing and women will be competing for you.

But don't do it unless you are AUTHENTICALLY interested in Pilates, Yoga, etc.

"I am an absolute loser now":

This is a common problem today, we attach so much of a man's value on his ability to get women. It's something women don't quite get, but something we men deal with all too often. A common insult is "I bet girls don't go near you" or "I bet you've never gotten laid". It turns relationships and sex into a game of status. It attaches your value to how women perceive you. And if women start talking about misogyny in dating, this is probably the brunt of where it comes from.

Don't fall for it. Your value doesn't come from women, or girlfriends, or sex. If anything, tell yourself you're single by choice, or that you haven't had the right options, or your standards are too high. It takes the edge off.

Also remember that Thomas Jefferson struggled greatly with women, and Nikola Tesla was a virgin despite several offers from women.

"How to approach them"

Basically, find an excuse to talk to them. Heck, make up an excuse to talk to them. The important part is not the REASON, but the TALKING. Then, make sure you aren't uptight. Crack jokes. A man's humor is like his fingerprint. It tells a lot about your personality. And nothing makes girls more at ease than laughing.

Hope this helps you out a bit.

[someniceguy]

trust me "someniceguy" is just a title and has nothing to do with the"" nice guy"" stereotype you described. your answer is very insightful. I realize that I am looking in a wrong place. I have been single by my choice until recently.I find that its not working here.I will surely join some club this year.I was particularly afraid when one of my friends suggested me that I might not get girls in future.

[OpenClose]

Doesn't sound like a very inspiring "friend" to me.

[Anonymous]

I know what you're going through man. The thing is you have to acknowledge your problems with yourself and learn to accept who you are. Nobody is a loser, everyday is a new day. You have so many opportunities to build the person you want to become. Obviously it's not easy and it doesn't just happen over night, but you can be whoever you want to be.

You have to learn it's all in your head. Every doubt you have is your own opinion. Realize that and change your opinion. "I don't like vegetables." "But they're good for me." "These aren't so bad." "I don't mind eating vegetables at all." You get the idea? "I'm such a loser." "But wait, I'm studying one of the hardest majors possible: engineering." "I'm still lame." "But I like myself." "People don't like me." "Those people don't even know me." It's a process you have to learn to control. Eventually you'll realize those thoughts are only holding you back. Think positively. If you can't stop thinking bad thoughts, go to sleep or listen to music. Get out of your head and focus on productivity. You'll be happy if you accomplish something, even if it's homework, reading a book, or jogging for 5 minutes.

Realize confidence is not arrogance.

Be proud of who you are, regardless of what people think. They don't know what you have gone through and they shouldn't have control over whether or not you're happy.

Tips:

1. Talk to a lot of people, even if it's awkward. Ask them open-ended questions, look them in the eye and listen, converse back accordingly. "How's your day?" *Friendly smile* "Oh really? Why's that?" ... Blah blah blah.

2. Try to speak louder than the person you're talking to. Don't yell, and it may seem weird at first, but you'll be surprised how many more people will pay attention to what you're saying.

3.Walk upright and keep your eyes eye-level with others. Don't look away if they look at you, smile instead.

4. Look up or to the side at all costs to avoid looking down because looking down is associated with lack of confidence.

5. Make eye contact, even if you have to look at the person's lips or nose practice until it becomes normal.

Once you feel like a great guy who doesn't really care what people think, approach girls. Even if they reject you think about it statistically. You don't do your homework, you get 0%. You try your homework. Immediately you have a better chance of 100%. With women there are only two odds: rejection or acceptance. If one rejects you, move on to the next until you meet the right girl. Be proud of yourself for making a move. A lot of guys don't.

I still struggle with this myself, but I can tell you it's worth the fight. The other day I got to hang out with a girl I never thought I'd have a chance with in a million years and she practically threw her number at me without even asking. All I did was be myself and be proud of who I am. Women respect that because it shows you're not afraid to be a man.

[Anonymous]

Go outside of school, get involved in something outside of school. What you are studying isn't the place to meet girls. Granted I know girls in the engineering program here and you do not want to know what they mention on a girls-only night.

Personality, confidence and charm are what ultimately gets you the girl. Looks become just bonus in the long run. I know a male model, he's gorgeous but totally useless.

Calling yourself a loser makes you one. Harsh but true. You are letting others' comments get to you. Just like guys, girls can figure out if you are desperate for a girlfriend.

And then there's nice guys and good guys. There's a difference. The good guy treats a girl right but he doesn't compromise who he is, he's still a red-blooded male who can be an idiot at times. The good guy asks me to told his beer and later takes me out on the dance floor for some close dancing. Lends me his coat when I'm cold but might try to make a move when I got to give it back. The nice guy holds my beer, and holds me a foot away from him when he finally gets the nerve to ask me to dance. He hands me his coat and blushes when I give it back. To put it more crudely, the nice guy hands me his balls while the good guy shows me he's a man.

So be yourself, talk to girls, casual conversation. Get some hobbies. Treat girls right but don't be a doormat.

[giantpotato]

truth

[someniceguy]

I have rejected some decent girls in past and I kind of feel like I am left with very less opportunities since the time I entered this engineering school. I feel like my conversational skills have degraded. Another thing is that the girls who are my friends often fall for me but the girls who are my friends are those I don't want as girlfriends but when I like a girl and try to approach they are too shy in front of me or some other girl in the school cock-block me.

[Opinion Owner]

Get away from the school. And you need to maintain good friendships with the girls you are friends with. Why? Because girls talk to each other. I know an awful about my guy friends that they probably don't want me to know. Look good to those girls and you'll find less of them cock-blocking you.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for the BA!

[definebeauty]

lot's of guys have this problem they've got the right bait but the hood is dull. you hook being your method. why do you have to stay within the girls at school. that obviously isn't doing you good. explore some new places like a coffee shop, maybe the local down town spot.

when approaching a girl, the best advice could give you is to take the chance. talk to that pretty girl ordering her tall latte with banana bread. worst case scenario she's super rude and embarrasses you in from of the whole coffee shop. so what? you probably won't see her that much since she most likely doesn't go to your school. that's the beauty.

another tip, act like it's nothing. I'm not saying behave like you're talking to the guy because that's a recipe for disaster. I'm saying be lose. don't worry if you get tongue tied. it's cute. here's a like to a YouTube channel that I approve of 95% of the time.

https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=bKSHq_pN3Ug&feature=plcphttps://www.YouTube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_387407&feature=iv&src_vid=bKSHq_pN3Ug&v=nIu20j0ecy8

[someniceguy]

I have seen this channel but I have not tried yet picking up random girls!

[Nicci]

Just go out to clubs some, start casually dating that's really how things start off.

I recommend just looking for friends in the beginning. If you start off as friends than a relationship has more potential if it develops into that, far more likely to stay together and have things in common etc.

[kholland65]

I don't think I even need to tell you the problem with your advice.

[Nicci]

You don't.

Because I already know there isn't any.

[KingJR]

You need to get some balls and not care even if it gets spread around school, and not really give a sh*t if their boyfriends make fun of you. Because really it's just not important at all in the grand scheme of things. It's only important if you let it become important.

I think you should start off working on yourself first though...because you shouldn't depend on someone to bring you happiness. Because it'll just be a never ending circle if this person leaves you. You need to happy being by yourself first buddy.

[someniceguy]

you are right man.

[HeroOfVillains]

You sound like a bit of a whimp to be honest and that is probably your problem. I imagine you have a low self esteem and treat everyone way nicer than you should. If you truly are good looking, then you got a lot more going for you than a lot of other guys, get your head around that. Secondly, you can get girlfriend out side of school you know. Contact some girls from high school, check out the neighboorhood, organize a party or get together and usually mutual friends might bring over a cute new girl. The biggest advice I would give is to be proactive about it, not just lay back and hope for your situation to get better.

[PrincessHarry]

"there are some with boyfriend. their boyfriends constantly try to make fun of me."

first of all, you need to DEFEND YOURSELF in order to attract girls. girls aren't attracted to guys who don't stand up for themselves. they love confident guys who are able to protect them. a guy who makes fun of you in front of girls is trying to make you look like a fool/wimp. it is very important that you make fun of him back... in front of the girls. the girls will soon realize you're not a pushover (anymore).

[someniceguy]

thanks for your answer man.

[jessica86]

honestly you sound like a guy w not self confendence. That to any woman not girl is not attractive. Once your happy w your self and who you are then you fine someone. You need to foucs on you and schooling. The degree you are going in is awsome but I know as a per physic major you spend a lot of time in labs foucs on what your good at abd school. Before you know you be done and ready for life.

[HannahC]

agree. stop calling yourself a loser and try to relate to some girls. there are fellow lonely people out there.

[jessica86]

Agreed. Enjoy what you have you might be missing out and not seeing it.

[EPhantom]

I feel in the same situation as you, I'm never told I'm ugly or anything like that, I ask for peoples honest opinions on here and I"m told I look good, but I can't even become a girls friend, let alone get a date. I really don't know what girls hate about me to make this happen. It makes me feel hideous.

[ThatBritishLad]

A man of France without a lover? I think my 6 hour trip to the country in Secondary School taught me wrong! :P

Well, just because you're handsome doesn't mean you need someone! I don't intend to ever start a relationship D: (Yet again, I'm so spiteful that I'd make a lady suicidal if she spoke to me for too long xD)

[someniceguy]

lol

[WhenTheMusicStops]

I know what ya mean bro. I have never had a girlfriend. Seems like they come and go. I know how it feels when you wish there was that someone who you can be close with. It sucks but don't let it get you down.

Even though your lonely keep positive and be confident in yourself. Don't bother what others think of you, just focus on yourself. I feel if you build yourself up to be a strong individual eventually you meet that girl who will see that and want that in her life.

[ArrograntWarrior]

Who said just being good looking will get you a girlfriend?,you need to be desirable,charming,I known many not so good looking guys ending up with pretty girls cause they know how to charm them

[luigi]

if you are that despair may I suggest dating websites

[greendot641]

Join clubs, go places, ask them to hang out

[MakeLoveNotWar]

You sound like a nice guy. There's your problem.

[OpenClose]

And by "nice guy" he doesn't mean "guy who is nice" in general, but those guys who think they're entitled to admiration just because they aren't jerks.