My boyfriend wants to quit his job, but I'm worried...

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. There was point in our relationship in which he fell into a deep depression because he was unable to find employment. Thankfully he found a job and has been there for over a year. He's been mentioning to me he wants to leave his job. He mentioned to me the other day he's going to submit his resignation. I support him in anything he does, even if I have to hold it down for a bit, but I'm afraid history will repeat itself and the depression will come back if he doesn't find another job and also financially I'm worried and kinda scared to do it all on my own again.

I spoke to him and told him I'm afraid of him being the way he was when he wasn't able to find work, but he gave me his word and said he wouldn't allow himself to get like that. I asked to find another job before leaving, but he didn't do it...I'm just afraid of having to go through that experience again.

What should I do and should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

Wow, a lot of these comments are pretty judgmental. I hope for all of your sakes that you never go through depression or know someone who does because reality will hit you so hard! When someone has depression, they can't think as rationally. They want to escape the sadness therefore they will take rash decisions that they perceive as a way out. Your boyfriend is most likely going through some problems that may lead into a relapse back into depression... the only way to lead him back into what is good for the both of you is to be supportive and communicate openly. It may be hard because sometimes your fears may transfer to him in the process and he will feel overwhelmed. That is another trigger for depression so approach the matter cautiously and with patience. No matter what, believe that you will always find a way and that there are options no matter the outcome. Wishing the best for the both of you.

- Someone who has depression

[Nicci]

Well the thing is dear, if he stays in a job he hates then that same thing can happen anyway (depression), so either way could end up with him becoming that way...

Personally I'd talk to him and try to make him compromise, he can easily look for another job while being employed, in fact that's what most people do.

I agree that you should support him and if that is his decision then try to help him through it, but he should also care about your feelings as well.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why he wouldn't look for a new job while employed.

Of course a lot of the women I know quit then look, but that's because they view jobs as a way of achieving personal fulfillment, rather then as a way to make money that hopefully is tolerable.

[Meedo]

look for another one while employed..depression is worse and self esteem is low when one is unemployed

[bonedust]

He should have looked for a new job while employed. Push him to find a job soon because the stress will eat both of you away.

[Cowboy5]

Unless he has a big severance, he should get a job before leaving. He would be in better negotiating power too and more desirable.

[temptationfalls]

He's stupid to not find another job before quitting. Especially since he knows how hard it was for him to find a job in the first place.

[Moloch]

That guy should've had a job waiting for him when he left. You should definitely be worried.