Why are women so controlling/ manipulative?

[Surfinforlife]

I know.. age old question, but I just want to hear some answers.

How come after about 3-4 months into the relationship hence "when the spark is over" they don't respect their man but rather demand respect from them. They manipulate and control to get what they want out of you. They force you to compromise your priorities to make them utmost to the attention. Regardless of whatever level, they want you to make them their first priority. Sorry to offend, but I don't agree with this. I don't agree that men should disrespect themselves just to make a girl happy. Sure there's probably some wholesome good women out their that aren't controlling bickering bitches, I still have yet to meet one honestly but what do you guys think?

I have my own ideas of why they do this but what do you think?

[AdamThomas]

I've met quite a few like this. As soon as they started trying though, I quickly ended the relationship. It's pathetic the way a lot of men stick with these kinds of women. Usually they stay out of fear that they won't find anybody else, but I'd prefer to be single than to be with a controlling, disrespectful, manipulative woman.

As for the argument that "you choose the wrong women"/"you're looking and the wrong places", these kinds of women are everywhere, and they're not obvious about it - at the beginning they act perfectly to reel you in. It takes time for their true colours to show.

My girlfriend now isn't as bad as the others, although I'm not sure whether that's just the way she is or whether it's due to the fact that I know all the tricks and so she just can't manipulate me. She has tried on a few occasions e.g. trying to make me feel bad during arguments that were her fault in the first place.

A good book for any guy by the way is "Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar.

[Surfinforlife]

You and me are like-minded my friend. I couldn't agree with you more. Yeah women will always have somebody to blame. 99% of the time, you're wrong, and you always will be wrong...well I've been right and my own counselors and even friends have reinforced this, but my respect gets pissed on anyway by women. It's like arguing with a 5 year old, they will never get it. All of this manipulation has turned me more into an asshole to women instead of a pushover. I just don't understand reptilian women

[Surfinforlife]

Also, thanks for the advice on getting that book. I'll look it up!

[AdamThomas]

Yeah, the reason they like "assholes" is that they don't put up with their shit. They don't respect guys they can walk all over.

No problem, thanks for BA :)

[Surfinforlife]

Haha bingo. Hey, you had the answer I was looking for so thanks!

[CasaNorba]

that is exactly what I want to know!?

shit even my mom was this way. I just think that now a day society spoils women to much. all this sexism and misandristic society we live in has cause our women to be so damn self centered and self entitled. now a days there are so many damn rule and laws that actually prevents us men to bring order to this madness that women cause.

and lets not forget this delusional bullshit that we men are now being fed on women supposedly being the only shit to live for. like wtf is going on?

[Surfinforlife]

EXACTLY. I don't understand the self entitlement and demand for respect. The world has morphed us and it's shitty. I would rather live in the 40's where women respected men and men respected women.

[ArabianPwincess197]

I think you choose the wrong women or have a tendency to go for the manipulative type. Mind you some of the can keep up an act and later you find out their real nature. Too late by then. But don't lose hope because not all women are like that. For instance I'm not manipulative I don't have a single manipulative streak in me neither can I see myself as being one ever. I believe in equality on relationships or the man having the say. He's going to be more experienced than me maybe and I don't have to be correct all the time sometimes backing down and listening to someone is better. Which is easier said than done because I have a short temper and am impulsive sometimes .

[Bella9191]

sounds like a narcissist or psychopath. read up on it on google. they change once they have you under their hooks/ or the spark is gone and it isn't very fun anymore. its all a cruel game.

[Surfinforlife]

Really? I'll have to look it up haha. Yeah, I guess I'm meeting the wrong women.. that or they just haven't fully matured yet. What you said is exactly what I'm going through.. I call it "trickery". I guess some girls have just bought into the media that it's okay to wear the pants in the relationship and completely disrespect their man's priorities so they have the highest royalty and attention

[Surfinforlife]

I think narcissist is a very accurate word for what I'm talking about.

[Bella9191]

narcissists are sick people. narcissist personality order which I am pretty sure your ex is, is quite severe. don't go back. consider yourself lucky. people often throw around the word narcissist often, I mean a lot of people can possess narcissistic traits but yea dating an actual narcissist is a living hell. you are lucky you got out early. I spent 2 years with one!

[thtdiablo]

I think that you meet the wrong women... I'm happily married and we live the rather traditional marriage, so I do get the respect I expect. I'm in control of the "big picture", she takes care of the household. All works fine. Can't really say, I had the kind of problems you describe. Most probably it's a sign that it's time to change your "hunting grounds"...

[Surfinforlife]

You're a smart man. I agree with you. I was about to say in my answer that I probably date the wrong kinds of women. I'm not searching for quality women. I settle for the controlling type. They type that wants to wear the pants in the relationship.

[thtdiablo]

That type is utterly useless for anything. That's a relationship that does surely not satisfy the man and it neither does the woman - they just don't realize it. This type of woman normally got too little attention in their childhood (or too much) and now compensate (resp. think it has to be the way that they're the center of attention).

[Surfinforlife]

Very valid point, sir. Some women seem to pull into a trap. The way I see it is, girls tend to be the girl you want them to be if they're attracted to you, they do this cause they want you to want them. They want you to commit. That's how it is on both sides of the relationship cause obviously you want the other person to like you, but after a few months pass they show their true character, their flaws, and it turns me off. I guess I'm meeting the wrong women, but the majority seem to portray it

[thtdiablo]

Well, certain dissappointments you have to expect, because we all act the best we can at the beginning, showing our true characters later. But the basic outlines of her character you can already tell when you meet her: Does she desperately try to draw any attention she can? Showing off her achievements? An "old school" woman will be more interested in your achievements (and proudly talk about them when she talks about you to others) while the useless type will brag about their own issues...

[Surfinforlife]

I 100 percent agree with that. Yeah I recognize that trait as well now that you speak it. Kind of just sparked and I just realized what you mentioned. Thanks for your detail and help man, you'll probably be getting BA for this. Thanks again.

[CasaNorba]

you must not be from America

[toouglytobeloved]

because its the female who controls sex and who has sex its always been like that ... and if guys can be brave and strong enough to dish out what them types of girls do to guys than we should just be allowed to rape them manipulative bitches and put them in there place, cause girls rape guys emotions and get away with it

[Surfinforlife]

Damn, never thought of it that way. I liked the "Girls rape guys emotions and get away with it" I definitely relate there man

[Anonymous]

There's plenty of nice girls out there,... you're obviously choosing the wrong ones.

[CasaNorba]

thats what they all say

[lumos]

For the same reasons a lot of men are controlling and manipulative.

[Surfinforlife]

Lol Did my question offend you too?

[lumos]

No. I'm just stating that it doesn't have to do with gender. It's about being in control ans having power over someone else. It gives them satisfaction.

[lumos]

And*

[Anonymous]

Offensive. Nice fake male model photo on your profile. I bet you don't look anything like that therefore why you hate women so much because they think your ugly.

[Surfinforlife]

Why are you anon? Lol. You have no room to speak. Nice try though

[Anonymous]

its in their nature. They can't help it