Why am I so unattached/emotionless in my relationships/bfs? (girls, anyone else like this?) (Page 2)
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How long have your relationships lasted? Could it be because you haven't known each other long enough for you to feel any attachment to them?
I am in the same situation as you right now. My girl confesses she has no feelings/emotionless. But she admits she doesn't know me at all yet, things are going too fast and she wants to take it slow so she can understand me better.
my longest was 2 years
2 years should have been long enough to know them... Then why did you agree to be their bf, if you felt nothing for them?
It's just your type of personality, I think. I am also like this except I try to suport people who are close to me and I buy presents on birthdays and other occasions, despite that I don't feel anything or very little for them. I don't feel sory for them because I think that in most of the cases is their fault for things that happen to them.
i think i was like this even when i was a little kid soo maybe it is my personality
I used to be like that. It stemmed back from my childhood (I won't go into the tl;dr story) where I closed myself off emotionally so I wouldn't get hurt.
I had a friend that did something similar. There's likely a reason for your lack of emotions that you may or may not be aware of.
ya im trying to figuere out if something in my past made me feel this way..I don't know, it might have to o with the relationship with my mom (also long story) lol
it might be. If it's something you're concerned about, therapy will help. It worked for me, at least.
Part of intimacy and love is allowing yourself to be vulnerable to the other person. It sounds like you never allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Well yes, there's something wrong. You're in relationships with people while leading them on to think you're feeling things that you don't. If you don't love someone, don't pretend that you do.
It sounds like you haven't found anyone that drives you crazy yet. It took me until the age of 31 and my feelings were scary and did end up in heartbreak but before that I was just like you
So you're lying about your age in your profile? =0
LOL!!
thanks soo much////
I'm kind of the same, I close myself off in a lot of relationships or hate the love they throw at me haha not sure if it's just the wrong person or what.. But I think I've found my game changer :) I feel like I need them around when I'm normally quite antisocial, they bring me out.of my shell and whenever they leave I miss them till I see them again even if it's just a couple days :) maybe you just haven't found yours? :)
ya maybe...thanks..:)
I dated a girl like this. She really liked sex, and put on this really positive act, but she sounds deep down like you. If it makes you feel any better, I don't think I've ever been in real love.
really? do you think your missing out on something..im still kinda young though
Sounds like you are depressed and need to touch the inner part of yourself that has feelings. You may have conditioned yourself to not feel for various reasons and have never really looked at that part of yourself.
Yeah something happened to you and you got so twisted that you built up a big barrier and dont allow you to become attached to the guy so you won't be disappointed.. Honestly was your dad around? Id imagine that that could be at play
yes i loovvee my dad he's like my best friend//
Mmmh😐 this is interesting, maybe you just ddnt like these people and you knew in your heart you couldn't just fake the feelings. And that you know you'll truly feel it when the right person comes around?
i hope so :)
I think you would enjoy friends with benefits more, you get your sex and you dont need to love someone or be loved, so you can feel 100% secure at all times (yes it does seem like your insecure about the whole relationship thing)
lolo maybe , because i think i just date them for sexual stuff..i never feel like a truly love them or even like them..makes me feel bad :(
Im pretty sure im right, go for friends with benefits instead, it will be more pleasant for you because you both know where you stand, so there will be no hard feelings, and you dont need to feel like you date them for sex. You wouldn't feel bad, as you just said you did.
i really dont think i would do that either, which is probally not hard since im in uni but i just dont like the though of it..and plus someone always gets hurt , i dont want that "dramA" lol I don't know what im goin to do lol
then dont date. or go beyond casual dating.
be clear from the start its not going anywhere.
Did you be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship or do you actually like or love that person?
i never dated someone just to have a bf..i just can never develope feelings for anyone...
For me personally feelings can be easily controlled or manipulated. While you may miss out on an amazing feeling it wouldn't mean as much to me as her loving me for who i am so i wouldn't mind from the boyfriend perspective.
So how do i mindcontrol my own feelings?
If i would want to create feelings for someone even if i don't have any i could fantasize about things that generally create feelings. Doing romantic stuff, kissing or having sex. Your brain can't tell the difference, releases the hormones and the feelings are born.
Maby your body doesn't have such a strong response or something is blocking you from getting there.
What could also help is taking a break from it entirely (Not saying you should dump your current boyfriend but if it does go over you should maby wait longer then you usually do before dating).
Sounds like you may have a disorder that may impact your ability to feel empathy.
Options;
-Empathy Deficit Disorder
-Autism Spectrum Disorder (Includes Aspergers)
-Narcissistic Personality Disorder
-Antisocial Personality Disorder
-Sociopath
-Psychopath
-Alexithymia
-Schizoid Personality Disorder
-Schizophrenia
-Depersonalization
-Head trauma
-Neurological problem
are you a doctor?
That's a huge list, bro. Instead of accepting labels, people should just improve their empathetic skills. It is not impossible, really.
Actually, depending on the condition there may be medications that would restore common brain function. And I'm a Psychologist.
Maybe you should acknowledge this and warn of future guys that might be romantically interested in you so that they can move on and not have their heart broken.
You are still young and haven't found anyone of substance as of yet. Were you physically attracted to those guys?
Yes! thats the ONLY reason really why i date them..but they are just like a body with no soul to me , like i can't connect,, know what i mean?
Maybe you are dating guys that you don't have feelings for. Wait longer until you find somebody you really do have those love feelings for.
ya i think soo too..i feel like sometime i date guys that are just good for my rep.not because i like them.actully sometimes they even annoy me..wow im dumblool
are you like that with only the guys or generally with your family and friends and everyone you meet?
YES!, i was goin to say , im very loving to my friends and family..its soo weird.somtimes i remember that i need to pick up my best friend from work.but not my bfs birthday? maybe i feel like i can't let my guard down with guys?
yea looks like you are afraid of getting attached or falling in love for fear of losing them or getting hurt , you need to be a little bolder besides the more you give the more you get attached so try to act giving if its not how you feel but it will feel good eventually
I'm like that too.
Either you haven't found the right person or you're just not as affectionate as most people
I dont think I am emotionless..but I am very guarded. I spook easy. Right now I am in a relationship with a wonderful man. It has been very hard for me not to turn tail and run. He has done nothing for me to feel this way. I just have trust issues.
lol i dont mean to be rude but are u sure ur into guys?
umm ya..i never said i wasint sexualy attracted to them..emotion connection and physical, are two diffrent things..thnx though
are you into guys Jelly? ..:)
yepp..why u ask?