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The "Nice Guys Aren't REALLY Nice" Concept: Could Someone Please Explain It To Me? (Page 2)
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well i think when you fall in love whats really going on is that you have seen in another person some good quality which you haven't got, perhaps they are calm when you get agitated or they are self disciplined when you are all over the place. The underlying fantasy of love is that by getting close to this person you can become a little like they are, they can help you grow to your full potential and you do the same for them. So i will not say im a "nice" guy but rather i would say that i am a man that has faults and needs growth and that hopefully we can grow as two people by and with each other. Help me become a better version of myself.
That's a good opinion.
If "nice" is the first thing that comes to mind when you describe yourself, you're simply doing it wrong. You're SUPPOSED to be nice. You don't get credit for doing what's expected of you. If all you can say is that you're nice, you're probably boring.
Define yourself as being fun, be mysterious, be charming, be creative, be interesting, be compelling, be exciting, be funny, be talented, be driven... Anything but just "nice."
Lol, everyone is SUPPOSED to be nice. Reality is that few people are.
The funny thing about it is a lot of women want the man to be "fun, be mysterious, be charming, be creative, be interesting, be compelling, be exciting, be funny, be talented, be driven", yet all these women bring to the table is an entitled attitude and a bunch of demands!
Some people act really nice not out of love but because of fear, fear of being alone or rejected, or something like that. When they do it only to get approval but get rejected they are angry. That means their motives drive them to be angry, because their energy drains them. Real nice people act nice because it's their real self, they enjoy it, they feel like themselves, they feel lucky and free to give and love. These people are happy and usually make others happy too.
'Nice guys' is basically a saying about the guys (who are usually not attractive) who always complain that girls go after jerks and that girls are so superficial yet they want to date the hottest girls and are actually total dickheads to women and don't know how to keep a relationship. Just check out R/justneckbeardthings
https://www.reddit.com/r/justneckbeardthings/
sure some guys say they are nice and are complete fuck holes, I dont disagree. but there are guys out there who are nice, and get looked over because A. you are looking for the bad boy type. B. put them in the friend zone. or C. u just don't notice them for what ever reason, and then they think they have to be a asshole just to get your attention. I will say I am one of the nice guy and you will probably say Yay right. but that's on you because note all guys are tools. one day u may find one and see the truth or not but don't say we the nice guys did not try.
Nice take. I think that most girls just don't care to hear guys complain, regardless if it's reasonable or not.
I also think that a lot of girls are hurt by these complaints because they don't get asked out very much, and reading complaints from guys about not getting girls is like insult to injury. I think much of the angst about nice guys is that, deep down, girls don't respect them for lacking the courage to go after girls.
everyone has flaws men and women alike. sometimes everyone has a bad day and then labled a bad person, or the person they are with pushes the right buttons and causes someone to act out which also labels someone the wrong way.
since everyone in groups talk that label sticks, so what are we suppose to do? we say its not true or say i'm a nice guy but with out a chance of proving or show our true ourselves, so people will never truly know who we are or what we are like.
what they think is that some guys that say they are nice are lying and that if you try to use niceness to guilt trip girls into having sex with you, then that isn't nice. some guys don't do this though and are actually genuinely nice.
You know if women keep deferring nice guys like that (nice guys aren't nice - making any nice guy obsolete), then - like you said - the dating is pointless. These said women possibly and eventually end up being bitter and resentful towards men, alone, crazed and etc.
This is why we see here the guys saying "Girls don't want nice guys. They want alpha male douchebags, players and jerks".
It's not hard to understand.
Actual nice people don't have to be calling themselves nice especially not in front of girls to get them to like them.
Guy: But I'm a nice guy. Why won't you date me/sleep with me?
*calls slightly chubby girl a whale 12 hours ago*
Girl: Get bent
Like you said: actions speak louder than words
well i guess the main argument is "claiming" to be nice doesn´t entitle you to be noticed.
i think the point of the argument you discuss is, that "nice" guys just claim to be nice but really aren´t. it´s like if someone claims he´s cool. you´re not cool if you have to say so yourself.
it means that theyre nice just to get sex and it makes sense somehow no girls wnats to fuck a guy that spits on her (unless she is in love with him and he spits on her after he treats her well) ... but its not accurate at all i will act nice and get to know a girl but if she keeps wasting my time and not giving me anything i will simply ignore her and move on.
"Nice guy" is a euphemism for a passive aggressive twat who basically thinks he has no flaws and it's all of those fucking bitches fault that he can't get tang on demand.
He thinks of women the same way as the douchebros he hates - just a set of tits and penetrateable offices - but can't manage to hide his contempt for women long enough to seal the deal.
Not all guys who are nice are "nice guys" ... It's come to represent a subset of spoiled, entitled and whiny brats.
Self titled "nice guys" tend to not be great people. Generally they seem like they'd like to be players but just don't know how to be. It doesn't make them better then the players, just less skilled (and usually much angrier and they then to have victim-itis). I personally group them both together and neither are anything I'd be interested in.
I love guys that are nice.. as in good decent people, just not "nice guys".
I think nice guys were nice for a while, until they got taken advantage of a few too many times. They are still nice for the most part, but mainly they will only be nice to the people who actually earn a reason to be nice. Why bend over backwards for someone who doesn't appreciate you, takes advantage of you and wastes your time?
"nice guy" is synonymous with a push over. a good example is the antisocial geeky nerds. (not the trendy ones) the ones that have greasy hair, untied shoe laces, and dirty fingernails. if a hot girl asked one out... the nerd would be elated. she'd then ask him for his lunch money, which he'd give up just to please her... along w/ doing her homework... which he'll do just to please her. the nerd sees it as doing nice things for here.. hence nice guy.
Omg these comments from the male section is just wow. Acting like they know what a female thinks when they don't really. Yes all females are different, some are jerks who use people. But not all females are like that.
lol woman do this all the time to guys too, it annoys me aswell.
@Jeeevan Agreed, its getting too annoying now my rule of thumb if a guy means the shit he says about women and its horrible I won't date him one bit.
Yeah, you shouldn't lol. I wouldn't date someone who just talked shit about men all the time. I was going to make a post about all these guys and girls thinking they know what the other gender thinks but i didn't because they would just hate on me.
@Jeeevan No do it there going to be haters on every mytake and you can just report and remove if they go against GAG. I made a mytake about assholes in dating and a girl keyboard warrior me over the fact I use examples of men so therefore I'm accusing men of being assholes. Which was not true I just used my ex as examples.
plus I wasn't referring to men at all I was referring to both genders she was too stupid to see or just wanting to be a jerk for no reason.
Yeah i agree, ill do it :) and i think people prefer a more balanced argument so it doesn't feel like someone is shitting on one gender lol. I know i feel that sometimes anyway.
Oh i didn't see the second message, she was probably just a troll then lol.
@Jeeevan Exactly :) but no I explain to her and she was still being a prick so clearly she couldn't understand or just being a ass.
Yeah loads of people on here tend to be like that, i think it's a way for them to release their frustrations or anger lol.
@Jeeevan Yeah there a reason why mods exist to block it, its honestly annoying just staring at comments like that now. You just want to tell them to grow up and shut up.
I know right, this site is honestly better to use in doses if that makes sense, if you use it all the time it will just annoy you.
@Jeeevan Yeah I just came back from taking a big break I couldn't deal with it that much and plus I was busy.
Thats good lol, i really should too, the questions and answers just frustrate me soo much, i just read a opinion on a question which said if a man doesn't pay for the first date then you should leave, like wtf?
@Jeeevan Or people keep making the same questions and mytakes over and over Gag needs to remove old ones or replace them if they keep coming like seriously!
because what's the point of multiple questions or mytakes that are the same, I'm pretty sure either people will stop replying to them or just reply them and other questions that need to be answer will be ignored.
Yep i agree with you :)
@Jeeevan yup yup or people constantly shit on feminism like feminism is not bad the fem nazis make it looks bad.
Yeah, personally I don't support feminism though because of them. They are literally ruining the name, so many men and woman choose not to be feminists now because of them. Personally, i think there should be a new group/organisation which promotes equality of everybody.
@Jeeevan But why though? just because they ruin it and you like doesn't mean you shouldn't be part of it. Like Islam is getting ruin but no believers are letting the asscakes ruin it for them :).
I know that but supporting it is basically me making their voices louder and no one wants that. Plus i really feel like feminism hardly tackles men's issues, im not trying to be negative but that's how i feel. I mean they took away some rights away from fathers which is the opposite to equality
@Jeeevan Yeah but I don't think so because they just going out of their way to be crazy asscakes. No sane feminist is asking them for that and keep in mind feminism was created because men had more rights then women long ago. But modern feminism should fight for men.
Yeah, until that happens nothing will change in terms of men and women supporting feminism more. I agree that the purpose was before to give woman more rights but in some areas they have actually gained more rights then men.
@Jeeevan I understand and does piss me off with parents rights. Just because you two don't like it each other doesn't mean you make the children suffer. If there no reason other then they are criminals, you shouldn't be preventing your child to see them. Or if there evidence they are a risk to your child life (like threaten that they should kill the kid).
Yeah, exactly. Taking rights away from all men was wrong of them.
@Jeeevan or women.
"Guys who are nice are not nice, they are just pretending." - It's true that some guys pretend to be someone that they're not.
BUT
Now people talk about it so much that everyone who does something nice gets suspicious looks and treatment. So now even if you're actually nice you will be classified as douchy fake nice guy. Basically you can't be nice. Be nice and most (note 'most' I didn't say 'everyone') of people would see you something that you are not.
Because the guys who announce it are the fake ones. Guys who are kind don't need to announce anything. You're right, 99% of guys act nice so why would any guy have to announce that he's a nice guy to the world?
I put that in a Take a couple days ago and everyone lost their shit. lol
@EllieLexis513 It's the truth! Just ignore the haters lol
I am, all 50 of them lol
@Careless_Whisper No one asked for your insults reported you.
Yawn, who cares lol
"99% of guys act nice " Lol where do you live? Because here on Earth the number of people (men and women!) who are nice doesn't come anywhere close to that.
@genuinlysensitive i said 'act' nice, not if they genuinely are. Even assholes are approachable the 1st time you meet them.
Once again where do you live? Cause its still not anywhere close to that.
@genuinlysensitive I meant they act nice in a social way. Everyone does.
This whole spew has been spouted by bitter cunts who refuse to take personal responsibility for their life choices.
Sure, there are some guys who are manipulative and act nice for an ulterior motive. But that's not most guys. But rather, it's more about women who fall for the abusive guys and try to justify themselves by not accepting their own roles in shaping their lives in such a harmful manner.