I recently finished reading a book called "The Untethered Soul," and the basic theme of the book was that your soul exists completely separate from the external world including our own thoughts, feelings and experiences. Our physical body is designed to think and to feel, but our soul is internal and exists beyond the external world. Who am I? Who is feeling this pain? Who is anxious and worried? All of the names and labels we have been given to us, but nothing that brings pain or fear should touch our soul. We need to nurture our own soul so that no matter what happens we are okay and do not cling to suffering.
How does this relate to masculinity? Because I go out with many women for many reasons, but the main being to affirm my masculinity. I really do want a relationship, but I just like having sex and it makes me feel like I am winning when I am still fucking. But the ultimate goal is to find one girl to continue hanging out with over a long period of time. In the mean time, I like fuckin. Its an ego boost, I get to feel sexy and confident. But who really wants this? Do I, or, is it the external body?
Tons of guys do this because we are shamed that if we dont get lots of girls we are losers. And if we dont get any girl at all, we are shamed and made to feel like even bigger losers. I hate that society, men and women project this ideal and this fantasy on men to be players, and then shame men who are players playing the field. And Im disappointed that I project that ideal and fantasy onto myself, and then feel guilty about it!
I am not anything but me, my internal soul. My soul is tethered to this external body, but satisfying the external body will not satisfy the needs of my soul. The ego boost I get from women may be worth it sometimes, but not as often as I have been fucking chicks. I have a poor body image, and there's a fear based on past experience of being rejected or the only guy not with a girl. As a result I compensate by trying to sleep with more women. Usually, I am the one who always gets hurt. In every encounter with women I feel hurt! But I keep trying to cover up that fear and pain by having sex with a woman. I relive the pain everyday, and while its good to sleep with a woman especially a fine woman, the short encounters and flings leave me feeling empty, drained, hurt, and in way more pain than before I got with them. And then I have to get another girl after that to not feel hurt about the last one. And to establish how I am a man, and good enough because I am fucking a bitch!
Well I dont like this feeling. I am tuning out the external urge to fuck as much as I can until I find a quality girl who touches my soul. Or one I think has the potential to. Because banging ordinary chicks doesn't fulfill any of my needs, other than my need to feel successful and attractive. But that doesn't make it so, and there's probably way other things I could be doing to become more attractive and successful. What if guys turned off this social pressure to be players? What if men just stopped giving a shit about being in a relationship, or having lots of sex? If men just stopped asking women out all together because they realize other shit needs to be done? How would women react?
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Hi you need help as soon as possible. Your poor body image, start working on this. Any man can carry himself walk up straight shoulders back and dress according to your body type. You have to love your own body if you want to make a woman happy in bed. Start looking at your own personality ask yourself why girls reject you all the time this is not normal. The fact that you refer to women as bitches tells me exactly why? Take control of your life your soul is empty because your life is without true love. The soul , this is a proven medical fact is in the brain. So use the dam thing to make your soul happy. We girls are not that bad my best lover ever is my husband he's very overweight I' have a perfect figure and looks. This guy is my whole world. U have tunnel vision. I wish you only the best. Take care.
I am fit and carry myself well.
I called them bitches to emphasize the primal urge inside all men. The reptilian brain
I totally understand you on the word bitches now. That's ok but what confuses me know is this. You state that you have a poor body image, please explain?
Like, even though I am really fit and athletic I dont feel very confident in my appearance. Im short and pale. And even though my friends who are gay tell me that im not bad looking I dont believe them cuz I dont get the stares. Im not anybodys sex fantasy
You're fit and athletic that's all you need a big bonus to looking good. Short men are sexy Al Pacino is very short and his got a lot of sex appeal. Being short and pale is fine. Try a different dress style or wardrobe short men look good in earthy colors. If you have pale skin color your hair ask a hairstylist go for a make over you will feel good. Woman that's interesting intelligent and successful don't just look at outside appearance.
"If men stop pursuing, what will women do?" we'd die out. As a species we have evolved to let men do the pursuing and aim for sex with as many women as possible. While women evolved to be picky about who they have sex with, because frankly women who were picky were far more likely to raise offspring successfully. And the same applies for men who pursued a lot of women.
The rest just died out
Its less on evolution and more on cultural norms and society. We subscribe to the feudal courtship model, which was used in the middle ages when men had all the resources and initiated courtship. Women played the passive role, but now that its more equitable in terms of resources women are still expecting men to make all the moves and effort
I would just go get what I want. If I want sex, I'll seek it out. Same with going out/dating. I wouldn't want to date a player who has been with a new girl every week anyways.
Men have to date this way. Because 9/10 times we get rejected or it doesn't last long. So we have to constantly be seeking out new women because women are generally not seeking. Women have the advantage that they can just let things happen but a man to some degree has to make things happen. I've had to date multiple girls at a time, just because I didn't know which one was going to end up staying at the end and none of them did. And none of them ever knew about the others. So its a catch 22. If I try dating one girl, I will end up not dating any at all. Since women are such commitment phobes now days, and if I date multiple women they are just as flighty and I end up with at least someone for a few weeks.
You must be going for the wrong type of girls mate, I'll never had any problems with girls not committing.
I fully agree with you this is a fact. I would never not date a player this is silly I married one!!! What's the point think girls the mans been around the block he's got the experience and knows how to make a girl happy. He's had more then enough girls so when he makes his final choice it's a keeper.
Try to meet girls in other new places. Coffee shops book stores are the best. Ask her about the book she's reading then invite her for coffee. Talk about her only about yourself if she asks. Men are hunters they born this way. You will meet your match one day most good things come to us when we are positive and have positive thoughts.