Huge crush on my boss! Advise needed! (Page 2)
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He sound like he is extremely into you. It's a hard one though cause if he attempts to be more that friends with you whilst his still with his girlfriend his clearly a douche and may do the same to you other wise he probs should break it off with her if he is showing that much interest in you. It's not fair on her
Thanks for your opinion :)
things have been really weird, he has ignored me for almost two weeks, a couple weeks ago.
Last week he started noticing me again (as stupid as that may sound) and we had the eyecontact and the positive tention was back..
But then Friday at lunch, i was having a random, fun conversation with some colleagues, and he walked in and joined. He talked to everyone but me, and then he made a comment to someone about dialects.. Which was the topic, and i joked to him, "hey, stop hating on my dialect" and he made a rude comment back.. I felt so wrong for even saying something, even though he may have not meant it that way.
Later when we were all back to work, he was in the room talking to other people but looking at me, and then when i looked at him he looked away..
When i went home at the end of the day i just wished him a nice weekend amd he did the same, but in a really low tone of voice, acting all cool..
i mean? what is this?
He probably likes you nevertheless you need to try to get over him. He already has a girlfriend and in addition inter office romances are a bad idea especially if one is the superior of the other. If you start dating and have a disagreement things could start to get very awkward working at the same office. In addition you will always feel scared that he will fire you in anger if you dump him or say something he doesn't like.
Thanks for your advice, i will be finishing my internship in 3 months, so he won't be my boss for that much longer.. i figured maybe something could happen after I leave..
But I am also kind of worried that we won't be in touch at all after I leave..
As for his girlfriend, I'm not sure if they are still together, will try to find out.
Hope? I can't vouch for others and I've seen MANY things happen in our company. But I have never tried to date one of my secretaries. Even the prettiest. I've had many different secretaries.
I'd be kind, listen to their (multiple) problems, I've visited them when in the clinic, with flowers. I even guarded her then 8 yo daughter (a nice kid) a few times. LOL
For another one I went to the mass and burial of her son. (I'm atheist)
But dating? NO WAY "Don't dip your pen in company ink." is still true. That's for those CEOs who can easily fire the girls when they dump them. (If I want one fired I have to go through a lot of red tape. and I'd find it too hard a decision... I'm a softie, sometimes. I only had to do it once, because that one was falsifying documents.
I'd add that one of my secretaries (one I didn't really like) managed to date my CEO , got pregnant by him (twin boys) , married him. 5 years later he was dead and the gold digger retired at 32 or 33 with her twins. I've never seen her again. And I don't regret it.
That's one hell of a story and a lot of experiece..
Yet, he won't be my boss for so much longer, my internship ends in three months.. so i figured if him and i stayed in touch after i leave, that would be a good sign, right?
x
Much experience indeed.
BUT: "He does have a girlfriend ". Doesn't that stop you?
it depends how their relationship is and whether or not he has the same feelings for me...
love your story , i felt literally like i'm watching a movie or smthg, i think you are very lucky, at least you are crushing on SOMEBODY lol ! but you really make a move especially with the gf thing going on and the fact that he's living with her makes a little harder, even if he breaks up with her it's gonna take him time to get over her blah blah blah so you have to make a move to a friendship so you can keep up with all his news ;)
He knows his attraction for you but wonder if being 21 is too young for him? I think he's just passing time with you while he has it abit for you too.
It's a common theme when you work in an office setting and there's an attractive girl that will get someone from top management level thinking about. Like you said, he met her while working in their business. People talk and gossip and i think he is trying to do his best to keep at a distance and not let history repeat.
Did you end up snaring the guy? :P
Honestly I think your looking for something to be there when it's not. He avoids you Bc he has a gf and wants to stay commited to her. My advice is forget about it, don't act on anything. He's with someone so don't be selfish and break that up. If he wants to be with you he would act on it.
Maybe i am looking for something to be there when it's not..
but then again; why are my feelings just so strong? i mean... that would mean that i can't even trust on them or build on them?
I am not making any moves on him and a would not even dream of trying to break any relationship that is good and happy and healthy..
Just not ready to give up hope yet,
does that make sense?
It makes sense but I don't think this is something you should focus on. I think you should look elsewhere for a man. I don't think it's your "feelings" that are strong, I think your feeling sexual tension. That being said avoid him.
It might be sexual tension, but there is no way of avoiding him, and there is no need..
I still need to experience my first time, and i want it to be special, (i know, freaking cliche, but oh well)
so...
Yea well find someone else for your first time. And I'm telling you it is sexual tension, you don't have feelings for this guy.
He deffinetly like you, but he is probably uncomfortable with it, as he got a gf he hopefully won't cheat on, and at the same time he is at your work which can make things hard in the longer term. Dating people you work with can make things very difficoult.
I think he is in a situation where he likes you, while still making sure he won't fall for yiu
well its a very complicated situation as he is your boss and mainly in the work place they insist on keeping relationships professional and plus he has a girlfriend already which obviously adds another blockage to the problem i would say play it cool til you finish your internship then go ahead and tell him or right him a not on how you really felt about him i really hope this helped :)
Well honestly, what he's doing is wrong. First off, he's your boss, and secondly, he has a girlfriend, so that's wrong too.
I'd try and forget about the whole thing because this isn't right.
How would his girlfriend feel if she found out? He's an idiot and has no respect for his girlfriend.
No, besides the hospital thing and the flirting every now and then and the tension, nothing happened... I mean, those things i described are my interpretations... it could be that it doesn't mean anything.. but from reading your opinion, i would think that they do...
i'm not making any moves until he breaks up with his current gf.. and until my internship is over. i would just like to know where we stand right now and if there is a chance in the future. which i do believe there is.. <3
From what you said, it does sound that way. It's quite complicated...
Did you try talking to him?
And good for you for not making any moves. Sounds like you have morals, unlike him.
Don't you think it's weird to date your boss?
what doesn't sound that way? can't follow now :P
i sometimes try talking to him and it's always sort of magic :P
he won't be my boss for that much longer, hihi
As you said, this is a very bad, complicated idea at this point. He's your boss (inappropriate), has a girlfriend (inappropriate). I think you should just try to play it cool the rest of your internship, then leave him a note telling him that you really like him, and if he's ever single to give you a call.
You are wayyy over thinking this. A. If he has a girlfriend, respect that and walk away. B. If he doesn't have a SO then you need to get your courage up and ask him out. Even if it's just to coffee or something. It sounds like there might be a good connection there, bit just be cautious that you don't get your hopes up too high too soon.
I say go for it!
Good luck!
He is still with his gf and they're living together, i'm not making any moves.. unless he breaks up with her and untill my internship is over, which will be in three months, so if him and i stay in touch after that, i guess that's a good sign :)
thanks for your advise. xx
I think he's avoiding you because he feels guilty for liking you that way when he has a girlfriend. Is it really worth waiting for him? I don't think you should unless you seriously believe that you'll end up together. Either way , I'll root for you. Let us know if anything changes?
The attraction is there and it's real on both ends. He might have stopped, not only for your feelings, but possibly his own. I have seen it hundreds of times. He may have developed feelings for you... But still likes his girlfriend? Does his girlfriend still work there? If she doesn't, did they start dating after she quit, stopped, or got fired? Is it exeptional in the office to have a relationship with the boss/coworker? Would his job be on the line? All of these are important factors.
I would tell him how much you appreciate how he stayed with you.
It's a month after, how do i find a way to tell him noe?
And i think he knows that i really appreciated it.
Nonetheless; what do you think of the whole situation?
Do you think there's a chance that he likes me back?
The fact that he stayed with you from start to end says something about him. I can't guarantee it's a legitimate crush, but I would look at him and bring up the accident casually. Just say, since it hasn't been said, that you really appreciated how much he stuck by you.
Thanks for the helpful comments:)
I'll try to bring it up casually like you said..
The past couple weeks have beenREALLY weird.. We went out for dinner with everyone and we had those magical eyecontact moments..
And when he had his speech for the whole group he looked at me when he was talking about great people and memorable moments..
We also went bowling and when we put on our jackets he just stood there from a dinstance smiling at me...
But thenthe week after that he completely acted like i wasn't even there..
Last week he started looking a lot at me again, and lock eyecontact and smile:)
Like... What does that mean?
Those are obvious signs.
Things were going so well between us this past week; he started noticing me again (as stupid as that may sound) and we had the eyecontact and the positive tention was back..
But then at lunch, i was having a random, fun conversation with some colleagues, and he walked in and joined. He talked to everyone but me, and then he made a comment to someone about dialects.. Which was the topic, and i joked to him, "hey, stop hating on my dialect" and he made a rude comment back.. I felt so wrong for even saying something, even though he may have not meant it that way.
Later when we were all back to work, he was in the room talking to other people but looking at me, and then when i looked at him he looked away..
When i went home at the end of the day i just wished him a nice weekend amd he did the same, but in such a low tone of voice..
I mean? what is this?
He could have simply been having a bad day.
Ok this is what i think: he has a girlfriend and he doesn't want to betray her so he is just trying to distance himself from you. He likes you from what i understand and he does think about it. He is in kind of a 'I dont know what to do' mood. And from ur last update... Maybe she died or something bad happened? So maybe he is still thinking about her and not over it completely and hence distancing you from him...
I am in a similar boat as you are but the thing is I am into my professor. I feel like there is this attraction between us as well but I'm not positive about it. But yeah, I hope things go well between you and him though. Based on your description, it does seem like there is definitely a good chance of him liking you back.
he touched your legs and hips? hmm sounds like he wants you to be the queen of his bed for a night or two. but i say stay put for now and try to find out if that is his real girlfriend or not. but even then he would still be your boss. wouldn't that interfere with work?
I think it's pretty obvious he knows you like him, and he wants to suppress that. I'm not sure if he likes you too but he sure doesn't want for anything to happen between the two of you.
what makes you think that?
i mean, there is almost no way he could know that i like him the way i do.
i'm literally as calm and normal around him as anyone..
if anything i think it should be the other way around, since he is the one touching me (either in a caring way, or more than that)?
thanks for responding :)
You're welcome :). Well he's not a little boy, he's a grown man (and smart for that matter) and he may very well sense that mild crush. Despite your best efforts to hide your feelings, some men are just able to pick up on those 'other' signals. His behavior just says it all, he's trying to avoid any advances, whether he feels something for you or not. I advise you to try and get it over with, because if a man is truly interested, he goes for it. If a man acts so withdrawn, you best believe he has his good reasons. Just let it go cause it definitely isn't a very promising start, it just won't work.
Been there done that with a boss. He had a live in as well and told me she was horrible blah blah. We started seeing each other he only wanted to get in my pants along with 3 other girls who worked there. Don't do it let it go there are plenty other guys who are not your boss. I had to quit my job because of him. It's not worth it
haha I will definitely not let it get that far without it being serious first.. if you know what i mean!
He could be just playing you to see what he can get. Be careful
Well I would say that you have to give up on him it seems that the women whos face was changing maybe had a relationship with him and he is fleeing back to her and you are the one he had a crush on. Its ok you will find someone new.
haha no, the woman who walked in has a boyfriend, it's not him... so that's a different case?