He rejected me in front of several people?

[Anonymous]

Is that normal? All I asked for was a private conversation and he said no, he didn't want to give anyone the idea of us. There was like 20 people standing around talking... I'm sure they all heard. I've never felt so humiliated and hurt. I wasn't even asking him out... Just trying to clear up another matter. He did try to soften the blow by saying something about being friends... I don't believe him though... Does he really think that makes it better? All I does is make me feel like crap. I don't understand. He's normally a nice, sweet caring man.

Updates

+1 y

I wasn't asking him out... And for the record. I have never rejected a guy in front of others. I actually don't reject guys much. I always give them a fair chance unless they are just jerks, which I don't know many of those.

Updates

+1 y

We had numerous conversations before. It wasn't like we hadn't spoken before... He knows I hate being center of attention and on on the shy side.

[Songbird686]

It seems like you're looking for sympathy for something that's really not a big deal. You should've just asked him about the party or waited until a time when there weren't other people around. If you didn't want to talk to him with other people around then why approach him with 20 other people standing there? You're obviously into him, he knows it, he's not into you and doesn't want to lead you on. Without knowing his side of the story, which probably paints a different picture, it seems like he was just being honest with you. And that's actually pretty admirable.

[Asker]

I had no choice if I wanted to talk to him. I waited... There was more people... Usually he walks with me to the side and its not a problem. He's pretty nice.. Most of the time. I'm glad he told me. I am just embarrassed he couldn't wait to it when it wasn't in front of people we both know. I feel like I can't go back and see them now. Maybe you don't know what's it like to be shy?

[Songbird686]

You really have a victim mentality going on here. You didn't have a choice? Of course you did. And you really have nothing to be embarrassed about. If those people you know give you a hard time about it maybe you should consider making new friends. He was honest with you, you should be happy about that! There are some guys who would rather just lie to you than be honest and make things uncomfortable! you know how he feels and should be glad that you do. Those other people probably don't even care since it has nothing to do with them. You are overthinking things.

[Kyndra]

I can only guess but maybe there was someone else nearby that he liked, so he didn't want her to think you two were an item. But no, that's not normal. And saying he didn't want to give anyone the idea of you without even knowing what you were going to say? Definitely not normal.

[Asker]

No, there wasn't any other girls nearby... Single ones anyways and he's not that type.

[kangy]

He was being insensitive.
I won't even want to be friend with him.
maybe he think he is so much better than others

[Asker]

I know. I'm not. I didn't say it in front of others but I won't be going anywhere near him again.

[kangy]

Yes he is a plague

[Giavelto]

Wow that was rude of him. You deserve a friend who'll treat you better.

[Asker]

I'm too embarrassed and upset to go anywhere near there again.

[Giavelto]

I can't blame you asker. That sounds like a really awful experience.

[AlexCab]

I think he just said no... why did you feel it like a blow?

[Asker]

In front of everyone. That was the point. O also wasn't coming on to him. We have had conversations before.

[AlexCab]

Did he make a scene or did he just say no, he didn't want to talk to you?

[Asker]

He didn't refuse to talk. He just said he didn't want to give the wrong idea. He simply refused to move over to the side and have it without all people. I was merely asking if he was mad at me since he didn't reply the invitation I mailed for this weekend.

[Asker]

For a type of party that him and his family are invited to. No date.

[AlexCab]

Ok, so he didn't make a scene, didn't say no I don't want to be with you, he just said he didn't want to give you the wrong impression. He seems pretty straightforward of course... but he was rude. He could have moved with you to the side and say that in private to you if he wanted to. He's an ass.

[AlexCab]

hey, thanks for MHO :)

[been_waiting]

He sounds like an ass. Did you explain to him that you were trying to discuss something?

[Asker]

Yes... We did talk as I was trying not to make anymore of a scene by bursting into tears.

[legalboxers]

he is a jackass and a moron, you dont need friends like him

[Asker]

Thanks. I've been rejected before but he didn't do it on front of people.

[legalboxers]

maybe there was another MO behind it?

[Asker]

Like?

[MyUsernameRules]

I wouldn't be friends with him if I were you. Try showing an attitude to him next time he tries talking to you.

[Asker]

I doubt he will. I'm too shy to be mean to people anyways.

[DanteSparda]

Wow that's an example of a douche.
I wouldn't do that to any girl ever unless she's a bitch.

[Asker]

I'm shy and this is why we shy ones never initiate.

[DanteSparda]

Well fuck him.
He sounds like a psycho.
You don't need people who makes you miserable in your life anyways.
For now, Don't think about this incident too much and rather concentrate on other important things.
I know it's hard nut believe me it works in the end :)

[Ihav2fart]

It was a douche move but heyy you're getting closure now right?

[Asker]

Yes but I have people I know who I would visit over there and now I'm too embarrassed to go see them... plus I don't want to put myself in his way.

[tina15xox]

Fuck him your obviously too good probably a good thing find someone better and forget that loser you go girl!❤

[Asker]

Thanks. I don't really feel like talking to any guys though. I was assured before I agreed to an introduction that he was sweet and nice... Which he was till that.

[TheLoverNotHater]

I understand your pain on this one. Of course I do the same, hate being myself in front of groups larger than three. But what I did is just moved on, ignored it and pretended it never happened. Thus my crazy side was born. :3

[RationalMale]

Yeah, no man is really going to be that sympathetic... we deal with rejection like that from high school on. You're all embarrassed and upset, but for most guys, that's just life and we're cowards if we let it make us afraid.

[Asker]

It is hard enough for me to talk to guys. I'm shy. He knows that. If he felt I was getting the 'wrong idea' it would have been kinder to tell me later or by email or walked with me to my car or something beside the middle of the lobby with everyone standing around...

[RationalMale]

It's hard for us to approach girls as well, especially when we're younger, but that's life. No one gives a shit if we feel bad or scared/embarrassed. That's life, you gotta mature and stop being so afraid and easily embarrassed.

[Asker]

I'm older than you and he's almost 30. I've never had a bf. I'm too shy to talk much. And people wonder why. Being shy... I never treat people like shit. They just do it to me.

[jacquesvol]

I never 'rejected' a girl, not even in private: I acted discreetly as if I I didn't understand what she wanted. Being oblivious by intent. That way she could think I was the dumb one.

[Izzex3]

He doesn't want to talk to you in private.
He's allowed to say no.
As someone else said if you didn't want him to say no in front of like 20 people, then maybe you shouldn't have asked him in front of like 20 people.
Him not wanting to talk to you in private shouldn't make him any less of a "nice sweet caring man".
That sounds pretty dumb to me.

[Asker]

If we had never had a conversation before abs he didn't know me. I would agree... We have known each other for a year. He is well aware of just how shy I am. I perfer to do all my communicating off to the side.. He's never refused before. And I didn't ask him anything but to talk when he said that.

[Songbird686]

Agreed

[Izzex3]

Okay?
Regardless. If he doesn't want to talk to you in private then he doesn't have to.
If your so shy and do all of your communicating to the side then don't ask him in front of 20 people next time.
He didn't want to talk then. Get over it.
you're being over dramatic.

[romanguy]

Such things happen to everyone you gotta get past it... people forget things very quickly so don't be embarrassed and those who keep poking you about it have no lives of their own... he did wrong and so will a lot others... you gotta deal with it

[Asker]

I'm shy. Its pretty hard not to be embarrassed. That's why I never leave my comfort zone.

[romanguy]

For such time you have a friend... Anyway you all forget it in some time

[Stacyzee]

I wouldn't talk to him anymore.
I'd let him know he did something wrong by giving him the cold shoulder.

[apexalpha]

dont look into it much, if he tries to humiliate you again it becomes something else.

[I_M_LEGEND]

Girls reject guys and humiliate guys all the time. The same people would start a movement if done to them.

[been_waiting]

I thought we learned that two wrongs don't make a right in kindergarten?

[I_M_LEGEND]

I was in Korea in kindergarten. I was doing BEDMAS and making all the honeys fall for me. I must've missed that valuable lesson XD

[I_M_LEGEND]

@been_waiting

[Anonymous]

That's rejection. Guys live with it every day. Deal with it.

[Keyspirits]

LOL! Hahahaha

[Anonymous]

If you didn't want him to say" no "in public, you should never have asked the question in public. He obviously didn't want to meet you in private. He only answered the question that you asked.

[Asker]

Nope. I was asking about something else. Not a date. We have talked lots of times before.

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't mention " date" . He said no to you. Get a thicker skin and stop being so petty. You silly girl

[chadsten]

I'm sure everyone didn't care.

[Asker]

But being shy. I do.

[Anonymous]

That's a normal rejection for a guy, deal with it.

[Opinion Owner]

Ignore those fools saying it wasn't normal or that he's mean. He just rejected you. Guys get rejected like that all the time. It's normal, deal with it.

[Asker]

But in front of everyone? I have never rejected a guy in front of people.

[been_waiting]

Well for one she wasn't asking him out and two, 2 wrongs don't make a right.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, in front of other people. That's usually the case.

[Opinion Owner]

@been_waiting he didn't do anything wrong, if he didn't want to talk, she isn't entitled to his time or company

[Asker]

Then I'm never going to talk to another man as long as I live. Some things should be done and said in private.

[Opinion Owner]

Don't be dramatic. What if every guy had that attitude? No one would ever get in a relationship. Rejection is part of life, and it's a lesson guys have to learn. It's one women should learn too.

[Asker]

Not on front of people. Believe what you want, we had talked numerous times before. He knows how I hate being the center of attention. He could have done it more kindly off to the side and not in everyone's hearing. I refuse to put myself through that ever again. And you guys wonder why more women wpnt make a move? I wasn't even making a move. Maybe if you would act kinder... We would. So stop complaining about women not doing anything. Jerk!

[Opinion Owner]

I never complained about women not doing anything. Where did you get that? LMFAO

Fine, never put yourself in a position of rejection again. See how far you get in life because of that. **SPOILER ALERT** [Not very far]

But after your emotions calm down, you'll realize that I'm the one giving you the truth, and that everyone is hopping on the white knight train to make you feel better. Who's really being the jerk, the guy telling you the truth, or the people pandering to your emotions?

[been_waiting]

Er yeah but he couldve been nicer about it

[Asker]

Thanks been waiting. I suppose if I were to reject some guy in front of all my friends and people that knows me... Talking loud... He would think nothing of it? Maybe if I was a mean person. I would.

[SomeoneImportant]

You wouldn't last a day as a guy.

[Asker]

I make it a point to not reject in front of others.

[SomeoneImportant]

Ok, congrats lol. But trust me, guys deal with rejection on evey level imaginable. We just learn how to deal with it, that's why guys hardly ever make a big deal out of it.