This guy at my gym won't leave me alone. What can I do to get my peaceful workouts back?

[Anonymous]

I like going to the gym right after school so it's not too busy. I always wear headphones and i have "chronic b! tch face." I'm not there to socialize as I can't go as often as I like, so when I do I like to have a productive and undisturbed workout. This guy keeps trying to flirt with me and times his workout so that he'll be done and waiting by the doors to sometimes hold them open when I walk out so I have to walk right past him as he stares me down. Holding doors for people is nice but stalking to know the perfect timing is a little weird. Once I was trying to ignore him during my workout and he freakin waved his hand in my face to get my attention. I don't talk to him besides having said thank you like twice for holding the doors but I'm thinking I should either stop altogether or tell him I don't want to talk. If you have any suggestions on what I should do id be super grateful.

[Anonymous]

wow you make this guy sound pretty bad i hope your exaggerating for his sake but just to make things a bit more clear define trying flirting if you would but are you sure he is waiting by the doors for you have you tried altering your time by like 5 10 mins 2 see if he still does it or is he just wait till your done cause that is pretty weird also did you do anything that could have been misunderstood as a sign of interest prolong eye contact maybe smiling at him i know you could be just being polite but some guys might take this a sign of interest but if i were you i would just ignore him don't look his way try to turn away from him if he tires to stare you down if he tries to talk to you just say to him sorry but i am busy with my work out and i don't feel like talking most guys would get the message there is no point in trying to be polite since you are being nice he might still think he has a shot with you so you have to shoot him down officially so he gets the point and just moves on if he does not you might actually have a stalker

[Asker]

I'm not exaggerating this all happens every time I go. He'll make a big deal about letting me walk in front of him and he always tries to talk to me or catch my attention even when I'm trying to focus. He waits to see when I go to get my stuff then stands by the exit and holds the door open with his back so I have to walk by with only a few inches of space. I do change the times. He doesn't end his workout but he'll pause it when I end mine. I have politely smiled or said thanks but I guess I should stop.

[Opinion Owner]

the way this guy is acting i don't think anyone will think you are conceited or " girl who overreacts and thinks someone's creepy for being "friendly" cause this is pretty creepy you need to shut him down don't give him any delusions that you and him could happen i would try to do a fake out lol pretend like your going to leave then just keep working out or do a surprise attack and just grab your gear and run but if i were you i would be cautious of him he sounds like he turn into a no bull shit stalker

[Asker]

That's what my friends have said. I've done that at least twice I ran into the bathroom then looked to make sure the coast was clear than ran out like the building was on Fire. Today I was working out in this room and he came in. I tried ignoring him so he came over and gave me a paper towel. its a friendly thing to do but his intention isn't to be friendly it's like he can't stand to be ignored which is what is a little scary. He reminds me of a stalker because he can't handle rejection. he didn't give out paper towels to the other 10 people in the room.

[BertMacklinFBI]

you can either tell him straight to just stop, or flatline ignore him, OR you can just try to talk to him and see whats up, get some shit out of the way and then be done with it for good.

[Asker]

I think I'll just ignore him. I feel like a bad person if I tell him I don't want to talk to him because if someone talks to me at the gym I respond and am polite it's just that with him the way he stares me down and stalks my workout makes me uncomfortable with him in general. I know I'll have to tell him to stop eventually, and if that doesn't work talk to someone else I'm just putting it off I guess. I don't want to be labeled as the girl who overreacts and thinks someone's creepy for being "friendly"

[BertMacklinFBI]

those are all good reasons.

bee-tee-dubs doesn't he realize you're a minor?

[Asker]

I'm 17 and almost no one believes it (especially airport security) and he's 18-19 so I guess not.

[BertMacklinFBI]

yeah thats like in the back of my head all the time. at my gym there are some girls where its seriously hard to tell if they're 18+ or not and guys are staring at them lol.

[Asker]

Haha that's definitely a problem! In my state the age of consent is 16 so he probably doesn't care either way. So many people think I'm at least 4 years older than ij am which will suck when I get older.

[BertMacklinFBI]

oh you look older than your actual age. well that doesn't for sure mean it will always be that way. you could still look damn young when you're like 28. and yeah if age consent is 16 then he probably doesn't care and assumes he's good to go hahaa.

[Asker]

*fingers crossed* yeah he probably does. I hate that I even have to worry about this; I think the gym should just be a place to work on goals and maybe find inspiration, but it's not exactly a hook up spot. Of course people are gonna look but it doesn't mean you should act on it.

[BertMacklinFBI]

i think similarly. i see all these pretty girls at my gym but i never make a move, i've only ever talked to them just to get to know one another. plus a guy never knows if her boyfriend is on the other side of the weight room or not hahaa.

[Asker]

Yeah and I don't make moves on guys there either because most people have the attitude that they're just there to workout and don't want to be flirting. That'd be bad XD

[BertMacklinFBI]

deep down you know all those single d00ds would love it hahaa. maybe even the taken ones too lol.

[Asker]

Maybe! I've had guys ask for my number at the gym but i feel uncomfortable going into the lions den aka weight room and flirting.

[BertMacklinFBI]

its only awkward if you flirted, exchanged numbers, then said goodbye but kept on running into each other for every work out lol.

[Asker]

That's definitely something awkward I've thought about. Today I was working out in this room with all these other people and when he came in and didn't do anything but stare at me I ignored him. he brought over a paper towel which would be nice if his reason wasn't because he can't stand being ignored by me. Next time I go I'm going to bring it up to a female staff member and ask to speak to the manager or something.

[BertMacklinFBI]

damn creeper status fosho. didn't even say hi to you lol. park near the doors hahaa.

[Asker]

Yeah like his actions aren't harmful it's just the way he's carrying them out and yeah he didn't I just looked up to see it in front of my face. I do and I'm always very alert and careful its just sad like I'm not at a night club or party it's the gym.

[BertMacklinFBI]

that sucks. I personally like my gym because everyone is so friendly and there aren't any annoying people who give it bad energy. if he does 1 more thing or crosses the line hit up gym security.

[Asker]

Most of the people are friendly at my gym but this guy makes me so uncomfortable. I'm definitely going to I feel like if I don't the problem will just escalate.

[BertMacklinFBI]

I got your back! And thanks! Hahaa :)

[obiwansmistress]

Tell him straight up to just leave you alone so you can focus on your workout.

[akadatank44]

Right this is why I don't approach women at the gym. I am there to get my workout done and that's why I expect they are doing. You could always join a woman's gym

[Asker]

Exactly. I really like the gym and its the best out of the ones close to my house and it isn't outrageously priced which is why I stick with it. the only women's only gyms in my area are for elderly women and they only have cardio machines.

[akadatank44]

That sucks ugh. And you obviously go at a certain time because you would of tried that already and the times you go now work and part of your routine.

[Asker]

It does. I can't believe crap like this happens at a gym. It's not a night club or frat party. Yes I'm very consistent because I have dance and volunteering other days. I've deviated times as much as half an hour but he still finds ways to talk to me. Today I was trying to ignore him as he came into the room and was staring at me so he gave me a paper towel which would be nice but i needed the cleaner so it was worthless. He probably only did it because he can't stand being ignored or rejected which could definitely lead to problems. I think I'm going to mention something to a female staff member and ask to speak to the manager or something.

[akadatank44]

Yes as soon as I was reading that message I was going to recommend that lol. Its your best bet.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess I'll have to it's my only option really unless I want to look crazy and tell him off.

[akadatank44]

I mean there is always that haha or you know what? Do you have any gay friends or a guy friend that's in a relationship? You could ask him to come and workout and pretend to be involved with him haha. If you take a single guy friend he might think there is more too it than pretending lol

[Asker]

I've thought about doing that too but I wouldn't mind getting involved with a guy at the gym who's normal. It'd be nice to find someone who values health and exercise as much as I do. I know I sound like a stereotypical girl who doesn't know what she wants. The problem is id have to bring a guy consistently and once i stop the creepy guy probably will think I'm single again.

[akadatank44]

Oh yeah that sucks. Lol I would go with ya :P

[akadatank44]

Tell him whats up lol

[Asker]

Thanks! I think most guys at my gym know boundaries and would step in if things got out of hand. I'll probably say something but if he's the type of person who just gets fueled by any contact with the person he's obsessing over I'll talk to the management.

[akadatank44]

Haha no problem. No point of having muscles if you don't use them right? Yeah that's the best way of handling it at this point.

[Asker]

Exactly! Muscles are attractive which is why I don't fault guys who look at me but there is a line and I think this guy has crossed it. Thank you so much for all of your advice I wish I could pick multiple most helpfuls :(

[akadatank44]

Haha its all good you picked a good guy I know Bert. You are welcome :) Good luck

[Hexxus]

Dont be rude but be direct and clear. Let him know you are there to workout and not socialize and that your not interested. If the problem does not go away at that have a staff member speak with him.

[Asker]

I definitely want to avoid being rude. Whenever I see someone I know or when someone asks me for help I don't have a problem at all. His staring and stalking my workout makes me feel uncomfortable with him in general. I don't want to be seen as the girl who is so conceited that she thinks someone being friendly is being a creep.

[parkway]

You can tell him to leave you alone or have the managment tell him. Some guys don't easily get the message and by telling the owners puts him on notice.

[blondfrog]

Is this gym at your school or somewhere else? If its somewhere else you could tell on them ask the owner or whoever to tell them they are harassing you or whatever and there you go its that simple.

[Asker]

It's somewhere else. I guess I will I'll bring it up to a female staff member then ask to speak with the manager or something.

[blondfrog]

There yah go its that easy too those gyms are pviatley own so the manager could kick them out forever.

[Tokana]

Best option without being rude is to continue your sets, he'll get the hint.

[Words_and_Wisdom]

Great.. now I feel even more paranoid to talk to women at the gym -.-

[Asker]

I don't have a problem with talking but following someone around to figure out when they're leaving so you can go hold the door open until when they walk out is kinda extreme. I'll respond if someone talks to me even when i have headphones in but when I'm actually exercising it's frustrating to have a hand woven in my face when I'm trying to concentrate.

[HappyToBeAlive]

Walk around with a fanny pack. I always stay away from people with fanny packs at the gym.

[Anonymous]

next time u see him just tell him to fuck off.