Do guys prefer relying on their partner or being relied on?

[Anonymous]

What do guys rather have in a relationship? A girlfriend who offers him a lot, so like she's the one to take direction, gives input or advice, comes up with the ideas, etc OR a girlfriend who praises her boyfriend for being so reliable and being the one who offers the most. I know how guys are the "providers" in general and traditionally so I've heard that guys feel really good when their girlfriend or anyone praises them for being the hero that day. However, sometimes I think guys would appreciate it if their girlfriend is the one to take charge so he doesn't have to feel the need to provide all the time. Of course the ideal situation would be to have a balance of both. But thats not always the case. So as a guy, what do you prefer? Especially if you're a perfectionist and are pretty prideful.

It's weird cause my boyfriend is a perfectionist and pretty prideful, so I would think everytime I show him my appreciation for doing something he likes it right? He doesn't show it but he must be feeling good. But then there are times when I feel kind of useless and he wishes he had someone to take charge and not him all the time. I do input a lot but he also most of the time doesn't take it. So I'm guessing that means he does prefer to be the one to save the day? Then howcome every time I try to do something and fail, he looks at me all disappointed? I can't quite figure it out.

Be the reliable one

Have someone to rely on

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to be bossed around, I'm just individualistic like that. But I HATE the expectation that I'm supposed to be the reliable one.

You're supposed to be my partner, not my pet or my ward. I can come up with ideas and give advice and all that, but I'm not fussed about ideas, like I don't often care that much about what happens as long as we do it together, I'll just go with the flow.

But oftentimes girls seem to almost outright refuse to make a decision about stuff and it makes them look pathetic. I lose respect for you when you keep deferring responsibility to me and think it's ok to be carried when you do nothing for it. I'll start not asking you what you want to do and just decide things myself. This is where that disappointment comes in.

Praise is kind of nice, but it's nothing real. You get praised, valued and receive male approval even without doing as much work, it's right to be grateful but female approval alone shouldn't be all there is. If I could pay people to take care of me with my gratitude... holy fuck that would be amazing, and girls do that. Your desire to do more is good and you should figure out how to do more.

On an intellectual level I know I shouldn't accept female approval alone as payment for bearing their weight as well as my own, but on an intuitive level my stupid guy brain values it too highly. So I'll probably take care of you because society expects males to carry at least part of a woman's weight as well as their own. But I still feel like I want more of an individual as a partner, not someone that carries less than her share of responsibility but expects me to carry more than her just to be considered par, and if I'm not par she can shatter my sexual and social value with her disapproval.

Match your expectations of others to your abilities and be super grateful and try to be better when their abilities exceed your expectations. For this reason I can appreciate being with say an older woman, she's aggressive, decisive, likes me for me and is willing to take care of me, so I'll do my best to be awesome. But I can also appreciate being with a 16yo, she doesn't expect as much of me as other women, she just likes me for me and I like her for her, and when that's all it takes then she can be just as (if not more) wonderful as the older women offering me more and expecting more.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think we really *want* to bear more responsibility but we do it for women anyway because we're stupid like that. If you're looking for ways to do your part, buy him stuff and pay for things. Guys do care about resources, we instinctively attribute our skills and resources to our sexual value, so imagine what it's like as a guy to have people basically giving you resources because they like you. Like if he's suggesting stuff to do then if you pay for more most of it that would be cool.

I'm sure some girls try to do something like give more blowjobs but try not to use simple sexual favors as payment, that's just cheap and still feels like you're freeloading. For sexual favors to really count you should go big like 3somes. Now that's a girlfriend who cares and wants me to feel valued!

Wow this post got totally out of control, I'm sincerely sorry for rambling so long, haha.

[zorro8888]

I prefer being relied on but at the end of the day I want to know that she's there for me if I need to rely on her.

[Asker]

Okay so how would I be able to show him that I am there for him if he needs me? I recently told him "I'm here" if he ever needs to talk about something but I also feel like based on the past, he can't depend on me even though I am here for him.

[zorro8888]

For a lot of guys just being there is enough, if he needs your help he'll ask. Other than that, just show interest in his life... ask him how his day has been, notice if he's acting differently etc...

[Asker]

K well I do do those things all the time but he doesn't show that he feels good. Like I said, he might be feeling good underneath it all and I hope he does cause him not displaying any sort of emotion doesn't help me see where he stands.

[Asker]

I just hope he does feel good inside or else then it just means he doesn't care if I do praise him or not. Do guys usually hid it if theyre feeling good or dont know how to express it or?

[zorro8888]

Guys don't usually show their emotions, society has taught us to repress expressing that side of us.
So even if he appreciates it he might not tell you unless you ask.

[Monsters]

A couple is made up two individuals..

[Anonymous]

i choose a