I cheated on my boyfriend but now he treats me like a 'Fucktoy' in bed?

[Anonymous]

OK first of all we were together for 3 months and I guess I needed more attention from him I now realise it was a stupid mistake. I kissed this guy and we touched eachother a lot but there was no sex but we were tipsy. Any way I told my boyfriend like a week and a half ago and he seemed indifferent he said he doesn't love me like he used to and that he doesn't date sluts so he ended the call like that. But he never officially dumped me. So I has hope but this past week he'd be even more disinterested in bonding with me instead it's texts like these

'Let me know when your home alone' or 'I feel like your not as tight down there anymore... Maybe it's just me 😂' and there's other examples. he's changed from hardly talking about sex to nearly all the time. He also was considerate about my pleasure but I feel like a fucktoy honestly. When we have sex now he doesn't make eye contact and he doesn't even take his clothes off or get me to get fully naked he just wants a quick thing before leaving.

I'm curious why is he being like this? I mean if he doesn't like me surely hed dump me? I feel like he's inconsiderate of my feelings he now talks about girls... Is there anything I can do to make him go back to the old way?

[chillinbliss]

You really hurt him. And then on top of that you disrespected him by blaming him for YOU cheating on him. You should have talked to him about the lack of attention instead of cheating. Cheating and then telling the other person its their fault is a very SELFISH and cold hearted act.
He is punishing you. So either you can hold on and wait until he starts trusting u again and possibly regain feelings for you. Or you or can walk away and the attention you so desperately needed from someone else. If you stick around then be prepared for him to continue to use as a fucktoy for months, talk to other girls, go on dating websites, rub it in your face that other girls want him, possibly cheat on you, call you names, and not do any of the nice and caring things he did before. That part of your relationship is over. You fucked it up. Take responsibility and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

[singeress]

Even I can see this. Look, he's most likely still mad at that you cheated on him, but he's not willing to dump you because he still wants someone to have sex with. Bottomline, you just went from girlfriend to bootycall. There is a huge difference between making love and fucking as you've noticed. As soon as he can find someone else that will give it too him, he'll dump you in a heartbeat.

You can't change someone. The only way someone can change is if they change for themselves. And right now, he's changed so he doesn't have to deal with actively feeling upset with you. You both need to get out of this.

[SarahsSummer]

You deeply offended him and spit on his love for you. To him, you are now nothing but a fuck toy. He could just as easily toss you to the curb but your lady parts feel better than his hand. If you want the "old"
boyfriend, you could start by letting him know how incredibly stupid you were, how sorry you are, how much he means to you and you'll never do it again. And continue to let him know how much he means to you. Those are no guarantees and you may get resentful you have to put in so much effort. In which case he could just toss you anyway.

[kaylaS91]

'I guess I needed more attention from him I now realize it was a stupid mistake.'
You 'realized it was a stupid mistake', despite justifying aforementioned mistake by blaming him for not giving you enough attention?

Why can no one fess up to cheating, then actually take the blame themselves?
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[hellionthesage]

Well a time machine would fix it. He is acting like this because he wanted a relationship with you and you to be perfectly blunt fucked it up. You ruined the relationship so he doesn't want a relationship with you so you have now become a booty call for him. Normally I would be against this behavior but you cheated on him (your response about it is equally dishartening as you say now you realize it was a mistake ie now that their are consquences and you blamed him immediatley by saying you where not getting enough attention from him, in short you didn't own your actions). So apologize for what you did and how you treated him and cut contact with him so he can find some one who actually cares enough about him to not hurt him in the worse possible way they can (cheating). Its done, he stopped being your boyfriend the moment he found out you cheated.

[MrOracle]

Basically, you hurt him, and caused him to lose respect for you, and so now he's trying to make you feel shitty like you made him feel. That's why he's treating you like a fucktoy. He wants you to know what it feels like to have your partner disrespect you and hurt you like you did to him.

Can you get things back the way they were? PROBABLY not, but in order to have ANY chance of that happening, you need to sincerely apologize to him and show him that you understand how bad you hurt him, and that you understand why he's trying to hurt you back, and show him that you've learned your lesson and will never put yourself in that kind of situation again.

I can't guarantee that will work - he might not be able to forgive you - but I can guarantee that if you don't do that, your relationship has no future at all.

[BlasianGuy]

This dude pretty much hit the nail on the head.

[Anonymous]

You cheated on him after only 3 months because he didn't pay you enough attention according to your standards.
You told him about it over the phone, who knows in which circumstances.

3 months is not a long enough time to really get to know someone, much less fall deeply in love with them (if you haven't met before that). And you were already having sex.
I don't think you love him more than he loves you.
Those sexual references is just him telling you you're used up. You're more like friends with benefits now, except not really friends.

[ThisDudeHere]

Well what do you expect? Either he dumps you or makes the best use of you - your own fault anyway. Either accept it or dump him yourself and move on.

[Mustachekitteh]

Your cheating on him seriously cut him deep. So honestly you deserve how he's treating you. It might have just been a kiss and y'all were tipsy. That's still a sad excuse to cheat. So deal with the consequences of hurting him or just dump him. You don't have the right to ask him to be considerate after you stabbed him the way you did.

You can't take back your cheating. So he's going to keep acting this way until the pain of your cheating goes away.

[Dubhlann]

Well... Actions have consequences. Not justifying the way he's treating you but if you're a asshole to him, you shouldn't be too surprised he's an asshole back to you.

And if you don't like the way he's treating you while having sex... Don't have sex with him.

[oldanddecrepid]

Nope... you are not going back to the old ways... it will always effect him and he will likely never trust you again.

He has lost faith in you and you are now just a piece of meat. Getting drunk has squat to do with screwing around, the drink just brings out your inhibitions and makes you do what you wanted to do all along in the first place.

Do him a favor and cut the cord...

[madhatters4]

he's not into you anymore... or at least not the way he was. i can say from experience

when i was cheated on the first time i tried to take my girlfriend back. we were together about about a month but the love was gone for me. so when i had sex it wasn't the same as when i loved her. it was basically just sex for me with not much additional emotions involved

[OldTimeFlicksChick]

He is being a fucking asshole. You dated for 3 months and you kissed some other guy, fine he can be mad but honestly fuck him for being so immature and dickish. His ego is bruised so he has decided the best way to respond is to bully you in an attempt to make you hate yourself and feel worthless. Its fucked up and you should leave his ass and find someone else.

[JoeKing67]

He's being an asshole? The fucking bitch cheated on him, she deserves every bit of what is happening

[OldTimeFlicksChick]

@JoeKing67 literally it was 3 months and she made out with someone else. She does not deserve to me emotionally abused. That is what this is, abuse, no one deserves that and if you support that then that shows how fucked you are as well.

[ShayanMortazavi1]

You are now blocked #OldTimeFlicksChick

[ShayanMortazavi1]

@OldTimeFlicksChick

[ShayanMortazavi1]

"I am probably the most awesome 20yr old girl you will ever meet" Hahahahahahahahahaha NO. Lower your ego.

[Kylesar]

Of course it's the man's fault

That's society 101: No matter the circumstances, No matter who does what, if it's between a man and a woman with something negative, it's ALWAYS the man's fault

[hellionthesage]

She cheated on him, while blaming him and admitting that she only regretts it now that it has created a negative consequence, destroying his trust and deeply hurting him, and he is the asshole? I very much am hoping for some poetic justice here, but unfortunatley that isn't how the world works.

[JRICHARDS1996]

Either leave him or accept it. You cheated so people are going to deal with your mistake in a different way. You can't force them to change; neither can you expect him to go back and pretend that everything is okay as it was before you cheated. The only thing you can do is leave the relationship if you are unhappy.

[tifftaff01]

I'm assuming you DON'T like being treated like that lol I would break up with him I suppose. I don't see any reason you should be with someone you aren't happy with. I do know what you mean about not getting enough attention tho lol I don't think you should call that cheating tho and neither should he

[lyssabugg35]

He did dump you. "I don't date sluts." That was him dumping you. He's just sleeping with you now. You made a mistake, don't make 2 by letting him use you.

[Anonymous]

You deserve this. He sees you as something to fuck, nothing more. He's interested in other women and will find one and then dump you. In the mean time when he wants sex he will come to you. These are the consequences of your actions. You cheated because you wanted more attention. Doing so he stopped caring about you and just seeing you as a sex object. You can't really fix that either.

[Anonymous]

First of all don't be hard on yourself, we're only human and we make mistakes and learn from them. Second, it's very brave of you to admit your own mistake. if you really really love him show it to him and try to win him back and be sincere. If that didn't work, don't waste your time and consume your energy on a pointless relationship, because he'll start to make you feel worthless and insecure about yourself.

[Lynx122]

You cheated on him and now he's just using you for sex but he doesn't love you anymore that's all that's happening. I think you're lookng for some complicated mystery but it's quite simple.

[PinceNez]

If you're not happy, maybe you should leave him - after all, sounds like he can't get over you cheating on him!

[Anonymous]

Wow! U r lucky the guy didn't dump u right on the spot. I have absolutely no respect for anybody that cheats. U say he's inconsiderate about your feelings? Did u even think about his when u cheated on him? Wow u r one real piece of work. Your the type of woman men need watch out for. People like u actually piss me off.

[TheHooptyMiata]

Oh God. You fuck up, and he's the bad guy? Typical female attitude. Either accept your place as the fucktoy that you are or leave him. It's not a hard choice, but whichever one you make it's not his fault you have to make it, it's your own.

[Jager66]

Treat others how you would want to be treated.

You treated him like a piece of shit, so now if he treats you like a piece of shit that shouldn't be a surprise.

[serious]

Well it was not right of you to cheat on him and now he doesn't trust you. The impression he had about you has changed

[BertMacklinFBI]

you're only a fuckbuddy in his eyes now

[TwentySomething]

Guess what. You are nothing more than a fuck toy right now. He's looking for other girls to replace you, he just wants some easy sex in the meantime. Things will never go back to the way they were. Consider your days numbered.