What does it mean when a guy sleeps with you but won't have sex with you?

[Anonymous]

A few months ago my neighbor I've had a crush on for a while now and I ended up naked in his bed one night after a drunken wrestling match gone wrong. That night we kissed and fooled around but he said he wouldn't have sex with me because I was his neighbor and especially not while drunk. I was a little disappointed but whatever. I assumed this would be a one off thing that would never happen again. Wed sober up and act like it never happened. But surely enough we've made it a habit of me sleeping over. He kisses me openly so he doesn't seem to mind people noticing us. Weve started hanging out more (going to ikea, movies, sharing meals together, etc). I spend days at his apartment at a time even tho I live across the hall. We've continued to fool around a few times but nothing ever goes past hands and mouths. I'm use to men who can't keep their hands off me. If I'm naked in their bed and they are spooning me, they usually want more. But this guys got the restraint of a champ if you can even call it that... It makes me feel self conscious and even makes me wonder if he even likes women! We are both very attractive fit people. His best friend (my roommate) says he likes me and he hasn't really seen him hang out with a woman as much as he does with me ever but for some reason that doesn't make me feel overly confident in whatever's happening here. This guys really quiet and reserved and to himself most of the time. I sometimes wish he acted like he wanted me more. He's really work oriented (he's a 34yr old artist) which is cool and it's not like we are officially dating or anything but I'm dead confused on what's going on with this guy. Any help?

[deusexmachinaa]

I think he probably respects you a lot more than any other girl he's been with. Guys who sleep with girls the first chance they get, get so bored of the girl. Its as if they already "conquered her".

[Asker]

Well it's been a while now and we've done everything else you could do so I don't see why he wouldn't want to just go all the way.

[deusexmachinaa]

Maybe he's a bit shy? Why don't you initiate it or talk to him about it?

[Emusarecool]

Maybe he really respects you and doesn't want to rush to have sex. This isn't a bad thing. This is actually a great thing. You know he really likes you and isn't with you just for the sex.

[Anonymous]

Could very possibly gay or just not interested enough in anything more than having a few free feels.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he has herpes? Could be afraid of pregnancy, something from his past maybe? Time for you to make the move I guess unless he has small one

[Asker]

He knows I'm on birth control and we've already had the STD talk. He asked me first when was the last time I was checked... so unless he's lying. We are both clean.

[Opinion Owner]

Well that's strange, if I knew all that I would have had sex with you already

[Asker]

That's what I'm saying. I get taking it slow but that slow? Like could it seriously be because I'm his neighbor? He use to bring girls over a lot from stupid dating sites. Do whatever he does with them once and then never contact them again from the sounds of it...

[Opinion Owner]

Must be the only thing because if it doesn't work out he still has to see you so maybe he's trying to see you how I relationship would work with you

[Asker]

It's definitely frustrating. I went through a recent breakup too.. so not sure if that has any impact. In October he came home drunk and came over to my apartment and was being super frisky then just left without saying anything and then I hear from my roommate that he had some tinder girl in his apartment which I found extremely insulting... then around 4am he's messaging me to come sleep over. Apparently he did whatever he did with her then kicked her out so I could come over. So fucking confusing! That was the last time he's ever had another girl over that isn't me.

[Opinion Owner]

It's almost like you're just as friends but I think because you're his neighbor he doesn't really want to do anything too serious with you

[Asker]

Yea. Feels like that but I don't think people ask their friends to suck their dicks. I wonder if things are going to go anywhere or if I'm just going to get bored and find someone else.

[Opinion Owner]

Think you need to have a talk with him and ask where this is going

[Asker]

He told me tonight I was "too much" and he couldn't deal with it and ever be romantic with me because of it so we should stay friends... but never denied he was crazy for me. But basically I'm too strong of a force and out of his "controlling" comfort zone so he's trying to keep me at arm length. So after hosting a holiday party together, he tried to kick me out rudely. We ended up just cleaning up the party and going to bed. I can't tell if I should listen to his excuses to stay away or if it's just his walls...

[Opinion Owner]

So he likes you but doesn't want to get into a relationship with you because he sees that's where it's headed if he takes it further because he wants to have his fun still with all his different hook ups I guess

[Naughtyboy71]

Tell him you want to fuck him

[August00]

Are you under age? If not he's gay.

[Asker]

Lol no. I'm 25... he use to bring tinder girls home a lot... one time he brought one over and then kicked her out and called me to come sleep over instead. He hasn't really been bringing them around lately since we started hanging out. He made some annoying comment about hot girls at the farmers market yesterday. Clearly a jealousy ploy...

[August00]

Maybe he sees you as a friend.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's a virgin

[Asker]

Def not.