Why do guys like keeping their relationship with their partner private/lowkey so much?

[kitty_98]

not necessarily a secret that it's hidden. But my boyfriend said himself to me he doesn't necessarily share every details about us to even his guy friends. which i don't mind but i asked him how comes he chooses to do that. he just likes maintaining his private life private. but i wanted to know more in depth without seeming suspicious if that makes sense as if i'm questioning our trust. that's not the case because most guys i've encoutered even guy friends like keeping their girls lowkey. and i wanted to know why?

even most male celebrities you'd see you never even hear about their wife or weddings even the fact they've already bought a child into the world like J. Cole, JME artist.
where as females like kim kardashian, kylie, chrissy teigen - weddings, break-ups advertised everywhere. obviously this isn't the best analogy but from what i've seen with girls we kind of want to show off how proud we are.

if you're a guy and do this, why so? or if you're a guy that doesn't do this why?

[MrOracle]

I generally don't make a huge effort to hide my relationships (I do keep friends with benefits relationships private on purpose), but I don't advertise them either. in my opinion, it's no one else's business, and if it isn't serious and long-term, there's no reason anyone else needs to know (and I don't care to hear anyone else's opinions).

I generally let the girl take the lead in this one area. Some girls definitely want to advertise and tell everyone, and others much prefer to keep things private. Since, socially, she has more to gain or lose by making it public, I let her decide.

Here's the thing: guys don't define themselves by their relationships - guys are usually defined by their careers/accomplishments - but women definitely define themselves by their relationships, so naturally relationships are far more important to them and to their social image. That's why women are much more likely to make a big deal about it, either way.

[kitty_98]

i actually do agree with your last point. for guys there is more to life than just a relationship. as well as girls too sometimes. nice to have someone career orientated/passionate/driven about their work and hobbies.

each to their own really of how they want - as long as it is communicated and the partners are happy with the decisions

[JSmuve]

I don't need to tell everyone or anyone about my private life. My private life is no ones business but my own and I don't feel the need to parade the good details around to people like a braggart and I have enough for respect for my partner to keep the bad details to myself. There's no need to air dirty laundry to anyone with ears because its none of their business. Discretion and restraint are important and breaking that could ruin relationships. Y'all girls could learn a thing or two from us guys.

[kitty_98]

very true and i understand where you are coming from. i guess these days with the use of social media i think it has distorted girls mind of relationships. there is more ways to be validated than to be shown off on the internet. with all these relationship goal pictures, selfies, gifts plastered all over twitter/instagram when those relationships probably have the most issues behind the scenes we would not know about. relationship is advertised everywhere does not mean it's an ideal relationship.
i've seen many girls/guys being shown off by their partner whilst being cheating on and it just makes them look more embarassing.

[Anonymous]

That's just how some people are. I hate how social media and shit makes everyone feel the need to share everything. My private life is not anyone else's business and I will keep it that way, being in a relationship or not. There's no point in telling people everything about your life and being lowkey is always better. People who pretend they're super happy to their friends/on social media and can't fucking fart without sending a snapchat are so unnecessary.

[kitty_98]

LMAO i've seen a recent post on twitter of pictures of a couple and a few months later the guy responds with "She's a liar and cheater don't associate me with her" and received over 10,000+ retweets. If you share your relationship publicly, guess you deal with the consequences of break up being publicised too lol. and then suddenly they want to be "private" haha

[Anonymous]

I'm not a guy so I don't know why a boyfriend would be like that, but I was about to ask a similar question, because recently a guy kissed me and actually told me not to tell anyone. It was because he was a total douche and a player, and I saw him another girl days later.

[kitty_98]

awww girl i'm sorry to hear that, what an absolute ass ! you deserve way better. i understand what you mean keeping a relaionship private and in the realm of you business is one thing

but when he is afraid to share or embrase his affectionate side/embarrassed by someone seeing - that would definetly make me sceptical. it's almost as if he's afraid someone may see you two together.

[truuhly]

I don't see anything wrong with keeping relationships private/lowkey. Not everyone wants their business out there and i do think that personal business should be kept personal

[MasterHiruki]

I never bothered me personally if i make the effort to woo a girl why wouldn't i want to show her off. You should be proud of your girlfriend otherwise why the hell are with her. I understand privacy especially with celebs because you don't the media reporting every single thing you do every single trouble in the relationship. If you are private then it should only last a little while then you should feel comfortable introducing her to your friends. If they don't like her screw them they get over it.
I think if a guy or a girl has reservations introducing you into a circle of trust then i would question there motives and how much they value you.

[likitb4istickit]

I used to do that to make it easier pass myself off as single to get side orders (girls generally don't want to be homewreckers if they know you are taken). Doesn't need to be a man-slutty reason though. Could simply be as he says, private life private. Could be maybe because he's the type that thinks you are not attractive enough to be shown off like a trophy (some guys temporarily settle and be like that until someone better comes along). If it really bothers you dump him and find someone that is more into PDA's.

[kitty_98]

what happens if the same happens to the girl too? other guys also being unaware she is taken so more guys are willing to throw themselves at her as you're not identifiable on her social media for example or she doesn't mention you?

[likitb4istickit]

Yup, it goes both ways.

[kitty_98]

suprisingly from what i've seen with most of my guy friends that they're more likely to keep a girl more lowkey if she's really beautiful, great in terms of personality and looks because they don't want anyone else to find out about her or make her bait to other people

[RandomGuyAnswering]

You ever notice how your guy acts and says certain things only around you and not his friends or others? It's because they feel comfortable doing it around you. Not everyone else, also it's no one else's business. If I found out my SO was talking about our personal issues or life other than events that are the norm, I would be having a serious talk and if it didn't stop, goodbye. Not everything needs to be public nor does everyone really care about your status. Not trying to be mean but I share your boyfriends view on this.

[_Zayo_]

My girlfriend and I are in that situation. She likes to tell all her friends about everything while I don't tell mine much of anything at all. Part of it could be a masculinity issue. She feels comfortable asking her friends for help and having that additional support system for asking advice or what ever else. Guys on the other hand feel more pressured to have to do everything themselves I guess. Additionally guys may not always give the best relationship advice like girls can. Girls are generally more understanding and emotionally inclined to read situations. Guys on the other hand tend to be straightforward and often dense.

She likes having a lot of people to discuss with. I only need her.

[Djaaaay]

On a serious note , which a successful relationship or marriage is ; should never be breached by another who has no Buisness between the two involved. Women generally like to boast to others in a raging contempt of jealousy and possessiveness to other women in a particularly selfish manner , whereas men usually try to hold a relationship or marriage tightly together bound solid without anyone else's interjection or opinion concerning thier Buisness , where someone else doesn't belong. Primarily... men don't like , enjoy , condone , participate in , gossip about , share to all , care to discuss , elaborate to others in detail about thier Buisness... because thier Buisness belongs to them and no one else... period. When someone is so worried or inquisitive of others Buisness that they are not invited to... that person has NO true identity of thier own , according to their own selfs and they make others Buisness theirs because there own doesn't exist.

[kitty_98]

very true. the less people that are irrelevant the better. If you two are genuinely happy then why should it matter what anyone else thinks. don't need validation from external people. i've also heard that friends that confide and discuss their relationships are 33% more likely for their relationships to result in breaking up?

[Bandit74]

I could ask the opposite question... why do girls feel the need to make the details of their relationships public knowledge and tell their girlfriends personal things about their partner?

[kitty_98]

you're right. from a female perspective i guess some want to share how proud they are to be their partner. not in a sense to show them off as a trophy but these are the people you'll be interacting with for majority of your life.

which is why it makes me so curious as to why most guys feel the complete opposite?

[Streamhopper]

Jeez. I scream from the top of my lungs when I've got a relationship - in my case, it's the exact opposite. I love to show off my girlfriend to family, friends, co-workers. I feel like I'm her best kept secret. But there's reasons for that, and I understand that in this case - but in general, this guy loves to say he's taken!

[Anonymous]

I think you want to keep it to just you. I mean say you want to be friends after etc. Not everyone wants to be a social media person.

E. g. this is based on a true story, check it out and give me your thoughts if you can: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2220644-explain-provide-what-you-think-about-points-a-c-on-this-sex-tape-her

[Oram52]

Well I am very private person so obviously keep private details to myself or close friends. But relationship isn't something I'd keep private, she's my partner so obviously I would want others to be aware of that.

[D1991F]

I'm kinda the same way I typically don't express my emotions publicly or with friends or advertise a girlfriend on FB. I'm perfectly fine with PDA but you won't catch be explaining are life to someone

[ShortCircuit]

Because it is private. Nobody else has any business with my relationship besides my partner and I. Besides, it's kinda pointless to shove it in everyone's faces.

[Andruu4u]

Cuz its just annoying when people keep making jokes about you and who you are dating and stuff. If you keep it on the dl that will never happen

[kitty_98]

But why should useless people's opinions of relationship matter? Sometimes their own relationships aren't succeeding so they have to make digs at others whether it's a joke or not. Maybe better to keep it lowkey to prevent evil eye or anything bad happening haha

[Andruu4u]

Nah its not useless people its mot of your good friends lol. Ik it looks pretty stupid to do that from your point of view but it seems like a good short term solution at the start

[kitty_98]

may i ask what kind of jokes do they say? is it something that's offensive about your partner or you both? then i can understand why. i hear for guys some prefer keeping the dimensions of their friends and girlfriend separate but not non-existent as the two witness two sides of the guy

[Andruu4u]

They make sexual jokes and stuff

[clampfan101]

Would girls typically like their guy going around Singin' in the Rain style about it, posting stuff about it all over the internet, and talking to friends and family about it?

[blondfrog]

Because nobody likes a show off and its not something that big to brag about. "Yippie I am in a relationship giggles like a girl."

[ColinHarvey]

We compartmentalize our lives to focus on one thing at a time. I don't need my love interest meeting my friends before I'm ready to introduce them.

[Sabretooth]

2 reasons: they either wanna remain single in the public eye, or they wanna keep you save from their family.

[kitty_98]

could you elaborate on what you mean save from their family? would they be judgmental or?

[Sabretooth]

Exactly.. I'd be very protective

[ChromAzonyx108]

It might be so friends and family don't tease them about it.

[Anonymous]

Because it's nobodies business. I'll mention it if they ask but I'm not going to tell people just to tell them.

[AriadneSky]

id rather he was quiet about it.

[cupidkisses]

to be open to the other girls

[kitty_98]

but wouldn't the girl also be open to more guys towards her if she agrees to also keep her relationship private? guys would be unaware she is taken if there's no sign of her boyfriend?

[cupidkisses]

ohh yeah u r right- then they don't care it like they r not serious in that

[Blitzkrieger]

We like privacy and discretion.

[BruceTrails]

Privacy is key.

[kitty_98]

privacy is key i agree. but it should be distinguished from secrecy. one should ought to let somebody know they're taken if a person tries to move to them. this doesn't necessarily mean you have to blurt out every detail about you're partner for example

[Anonymous]

just play it cool