Do men drop annoying hints too?

[Quackpotty]

Many guys hate girls dropping annoying and unclear hints. Do you think guys do it too?

[bluexxeyes]

yes! I hate it when guys think they aren't obvious when they ask you if you have a boyfriend or if you are in a relationship. I hate that because they think they aren't being obvious when they are obviously interested in asking me out!? They might as well just come right out and say "your hot will you go out with me!?"

[Quackpotty]

It takes a hell of a lot of courage to ask a girl out, and to do so with hints seems easier. What I'm starting to learn is that it's not - when a girl inevitably doesn't catch the hint, it's worse than outright rejection because you still don't know how she feels. ARGH! Highly frustrating. I guess that makes me more sympathetic to girls that do the same thing. I can definitely see where you're coming from.

[Bobmiller27]

Has it ever occured to anyone that maybe the guy os TRYING to be obvious? And he doesn't give a shit if anyone thinks he IS being obvious?

[afterschoolgirl]

oh my god completely! he drives me to be subtle, otherwise I would be forward and scream, "will you just f*ck me and get serious already?!" but he's not that sorta guy. he loves building this sh*t up. It's so annoying, but it makes me want him even more!

Doubt is an aphrodisiac!

[Quackpotty]

He drives you to be subtle?! What?! Most guys Hate subtlety, and all the hints that go with it. I suppose being too forward is in many ways worse than that. Some people have all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop (whilst on steroids).

I suppose to each their own. Personally I like feeling like I'm 'in the know' rather than doubting everything I come across. Thanks for the answer.

[afterschoolgirl]

Yeah. My guy's the "sensitive nice guy" type... the ones w/more testosterone tend to hate subtleties. I do notice, though, that when he comes back from the gym (testosterone levels raised) he's a lot more blunt and "guyish" (leaning back to "subtely" flex his arm muscles, touching, etc.).

[Quackpotty]

What would you say he's doing that for? Would you say it's because he's showing off, or that he's just thinking about how great his workout felt? I suppose that the testosterone levels being raised would make him want to show off and 'stake his claim' or something equally as daft. Unfortunately, for many, raised testosterone also means reduced wit and raised ego. Bad combination. Gives many guys a bad name. Do you really think of doubt as some sort of aphrodisiac? Is it the whole mystery thing?

[afterschoolgirl]

Oh definitely. My guy especially thinks he has to be mysterious for me to keep an interest in him. And I don't know why that is... but like you said, being ambiguous (in general) is supposed to draw people in (but when do you stop? when they realize you're "just not that great"? And what happens after, when you're in the relationship? Do you maintain that level of mystery or can you just be honest?).

You're right, his ego SOARS after he works out, and also -- when I drop VERY OBVIOUS hints.

[Quackpotty]

That's why I'm all for honesty. Honesty and openness. That's not to say that everyone should share their deepest darkest secrets or thoughts (spend five minutes in ANY guy's head and you're likely to swear off guys, or humanity, for life) but when something needs clarity, like what you're really like, give it, don't be all 'mysterious' and then trap someone in a relationship.

[bellaluna]

Simply put, YES. Guys are just as good at being confusing as girls are.

[Quackpotty]

LMAO. I love the way you said this. That's it in a nut-shell, isn't it? It's just people being confusing. Personally, I think that people do it so that they don't have to be vulnerable and come right out and say whatever it is they're supposed to say in the first place. It's fear and a crazy self-defense mechanism in the brain that seeks to confuse the unwitting opposite sex. It's my conspiracy theory, anyway. Some are just more capable of accessing this brain feature from the begin. Grr!!

[SexGod1]

Something I also just thought of is maybe the thrill of the chase might play a bit of a role in some of this as well? I know that I enjoy when my woman chases me, and I enjoy chasing her sometimes too. It's almost like a tango or something. We play with each other enormously in this way sometimes, and it drives us both into a type of a frenzy where we want each other so much that we almost act like animals when we finally do come together! So, I guess it could be good or bad?!

[Quackpotty]

Are you referring to all the crazy hints that some people get away with giving so that it confuses everyone else? I'm sure that there is a way to do what you're saying, but is that with the hints, or just games?

[Saraphim]

Nope us guys are straight forward its what makes us men.Wait no testosterone makes us men so I guess yeah we are confusing sometimes too.

[punchxcore]

BULLSHIT! Not all guys are straight forward. The guy I am currently dealing with practically beats around the bush, if at all.

[Saraphim]

Read the whole message

[Quackpotty]

I think my comment to bellaluna fits here too. We do it so that girls can't get a grasp on what's going on inside our brains - just like girls seem to do to guys too.

[BringerofDawn]

I do.

Not always intentionally, but I do.

I think that a large proportion of men do, whether they will admit to it or not.

[Quackpotty]

It's funny how guys do this, yet it's possibly the number one peeve that guys have with girls.

[BringerofDawn]

We expect girls to be smart enough to figure ours out... Women expecting us to decipher theirs is unacceptable

[Quackpotty]

LMAO. You really do insult guy's intelligence by saying that, you know? I suppose that everyone thinks all they say is perfectly understandable, and we get confused when we aren't understood. That goes for both guys and girls.

[BringerofDawn]

I can't pretend to justify WHY this happens... It just does.

The entire dating spectrum would be much simpler (not to mention boring) if both species of humans (girls and guys) cut the nonsense out.

[Quackpotty]

I think that I can see where you're coming from. What's life without a little spice, eh? I don't really like or appreciate some spices, though. Lack of open communication really undermines a relationship's capability to soar, but some things like 'playful banter' or flirting, whilst not being completely open communication, can keep things alive rather than undermine it.

[BringerofDawn]

Life without a little spice is bland.

I fully agree with you that the lack of open communication between people can destroy a relationship, and I would be willing to bet that it destroys the majority of relationships. Good 'Ol communication can work wonders.

Unfortunately, I think that "playful banter" is not as common as serious insinuations against your significant other. I think each gender is guilty of communicating the most problematic pieces of the relationship through insinuation.

[-StillWater-]

Of course they do! And it's mostly because of the fact that they are afraid of what would happen if they just came up to us and told us what they want! It's easier if she doesn't know she's rejecting you because she didn't get your oh so smart hint, then because she straight up told you she's not interested.

And it's a little of the 'payback' for them doing it to us as well! :P

[Quackpotty]

That is so very true. Lol. I think you've definitely put it better than just about everyone else that's answered because it's just so to the point and completely obliterates the whole hint dropping thing. That's the exact reason that anybody drops hints. Unfortunately it's a hard habit to stop once it's started.

[grace86]

Hint dropping can be annoying BUT it can also be quite exciting because you never really know what they're thinking/feeling. Dropping hints is fine in the "flirtation" stage but if someone carried on doing it if I was in a relationship with them then I'd get pretty mad!

[Quackpotty]

Just read your answer after writing my comment to 'afterschoolgirl' and I see this fits with that too. I suppose that in flirting, it can be good, but it can even then get to be too much because there's times when you need to know something rather than having to work at guessing it. Then it just gets thoughraly annoying. Flirting and banter are great - I love it - but taking it too far isn't so good. I definitely agree with you on this one.

[hazeleyes91]

oh they definitely do. I know that I don't intentionally try to confuse guys though. they just don't seem to catch on to my hints at times.

[Quackpotty]

You do realize that that's one of the main pet peeves for guys, don't you? Or, it's more that a girl will get upset when a guy doesn't catch on. I just asked this question because I thought it was funny that guys get so upset about that, yet they also seem to do it too. For me, when I do it, its because I like her, but can't work up the guts to ask her directly if she'll go out with me. So... I start dropping hints I like her, and get depressed when she doesn't notice. I can't help but laugh now.

[hazeleyes91]

Well then what could a girl do to let you know its ok for you to ask her out then???

[Quackpotty]

Point taken. Lol. I was about to type flirting, but then I thought about it and realized that flirting falls into the same category as hints, so that shot that one down. I suppose there is the more forward flirting such as light touches or whatever, but that's the limit of my experience in the flirting world. That really was a good point. Does it really go way outside of the rules for a girl to say that she likes a guy, perhaps if not to him directly then to a friend where he 'overhears' you?

[hazeleyes91]

The only way I would do that would be if I thought for sure that he liked me back. otherwise being that I liked him I wouldn't want to chance creeping him out or being rejected.

[Quackpotty]

Now THERE's where hints really come in - fear of rejection. We think that if we're ambiguous enough, we won't get hurt by rejection. The sad truth of it though, is that if we expect everyone to stand up at the same level of insanity, I mean intelligence, as us, then we'll be very frustrated. Very few people can get some of the insane hints that get dropped, all because people are too scared of rejection to be straight forward.

[hazeleyes91]

I agree. I think sometimes people just have to take risks and hope that something great will happen in return.

[megs18]

haha of course they do, that's sometimes why girls do it is because a guy does it to them haha

[Quackpotty]

Lol. Are you sure about that? I'm not saying that guys don't... I do it myself, and I asked this question because I find it funny that guys hate it when girls do it yet they don't realize that they're doing it too. But do you really think girls do it because guys do it? Or, do you think that it's 'easier' to give a hint without becoming vulnerable and being straight up and honest?

[Inkweaver2]

Oh yes! Guys are great at dropping unclear and annoying hints.

[Quackpotty]

Lol. The way you said this is hilarious - it makes it sound like a competition to see who's better at annoying everyone else. Guys definitely do this - in fact, I think I do this almost more than anyone else I know. It comes with the territory of being shy around strangers. It's pretty weird, though, around new girls, I'm fine.

[olwiggy82]

Most definitely guys do it too!

[Quackpotty]

And don't you find it funny that guys get driven so insane by the hints that girls drop, yet guys do it too?