Should I just ask her how she feels?

[Anonymous]

After going on a couple dates with this girl, (I consider them dates I guess). first was coffee, then a baseball game. We seem to get along, I pay for everything cause I'm a traditional kind of guy and I like it that way, she doesn't try to say lets split or anything. anyways on the 2nd date we seemed to be more comfortable and she didn't mind us randomly touching each others' arms or anything. but for some reason I'm still a little confused on whether or not she's as interested in me as more than a friend as I am. I kinda just want to ask her instead of continuing guessing... so I was gonna just fb or text her cause she hates talking on the phone something like, do you think of us when we hang out as dates or just friends doing stuff? what do you guys think I should do to get a definite answer, cause to be honest if she thinks we're just friends, she's nice and all but I really don't want to spend as much effort and money just as friends lol it sounds messed up but come on... you know its true

[Anonymous]

It depends on where you met. If you were friends first, say in a friendship group or something and she is quite young or innocent then she may just think that its cool that you share the same interests and that she's glad you are her friend.

If you weren't really that close to begin with, then its likely that she thinks that it was a date. If she is ok with random touching on date 2 then I'd say she's ok with you two dating.

Maybe ask her out on a third date - that's when I usually make up my mind about a guy. Ask her to something that is, like mealltime suggested, typicaly date like. Maybe also phrase it in a way like 'do you want to go out with me agian? I was thinking maybe...'. If she freaks out then you know she's just a friend. If she is ok with it, try holding her had or going in for the kiss depending on how confident you are. That is a sure fire way to tell if you are in or not.

[Asker]

Yea we weren't friends really before, like we've said maybe 2 sentences to each other before these dates.

[PrettyWildd]

i say just ask her ! if she doesn't give you any hints or just tells you straight up that she likes you as more than friends, then you'll never know unless you ask. you have nothing to lose. the worse she could say is that she would rather remain friends, and you can just go from there. you don't want to keep spending time money and effort, like you said, on someone who just wants to be friends. good luck hope it all works out.

[Asker]

Yea that's what I thought, thanks

[Anonymous]

i think you have nothing to worry about it sounds like she is intrested my personal advice is its too soon wait another few dates and it will be naturaly I think its too soon ,i am not so sure you need to show you are into her yet.that my humble opinion

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Yeah man, just ask her point blank how she feels, man. Find an activity to do together again, tell her how you feel about her if you like her, and then ask her how she feels. Tell her you just want to let her know so that things are open and honest between you and that if she's not interested than you'll get over it. Make her feel comfortable and do what you can to release the pressure, but do hit her with this fairly upfront so that things are easy to say. This should make things easy for getting answers.

Good luck with this girl man.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

I'm checking back on a lot of my old answers like I usually do. I wanted to do a follow up to see if what I told you was at all helpful to you. So did my advice help?

[tex151]

You've been on two dates, it is way to soon to ask her what she thinks of you and her. Just keep going with it, and don't mention anything to her about you and her becoming boyfriend and girlfriend and all that. If she likes you she will bring it up, she might ask you so are we still dating or do you want to become official, or she might say I don't want to date anyone else. Next time you see her kiss her already.

[Asker]

Hmm I see ur point, but about that last part, if she doesn't see us as even dating and just hanging out, it would be so damn awkward to try to kiss her and she might even get freaked out which is why I thought just asking whehter or not she considers us dating or just hanging out a valid question?

[tex151]

If she agrees to a 3rd date, chances are she is interested in you, and won't get freaked out if you try and kiss her, I kiss girls on the first date and didn't have one freak out on me or think it was awkward.

[Asker]

Sounds good. how would you say I should go about making sure when I ask her out for this third date she is 100% sure I'm asking her out on a date and not just hanging out?

[tex151]

If all these times it has just been the two of you and no one else those are dates. Now if there were other people attending like friends, then that would be hanging out, so if when you spent time with her and it was just the two of you those were dates, so just ask her on another one.

[mealltime]

tell her you really like to hang out with her... and ask her out on something typically date-like (dinner, cinema, take her for a walk and show her your favorite spot in town... etc) and if she says yes, then smile and say: it's a date...

i think that's a cute subtle way.