GUYS what's with short text messages?

[LalaIbby90]

So if a girl sends text messages and a guy responds with one sentence or a few without initiating conversation does that mean not even interested in friendship?

[EpicDweeb]

I think it depends entirely on the guy. Personally I hate short replies to my texts. If I have other stuff I want to do, or if I don't really want to talk at that moment, I have to admit I reply with short texts to give the other person very little fuel to work with in terms of a conversation. I don't generally have the heart to say "I don't really want to talk right now." I've known one girl who would text me, and I got the distinct impression that they REALLY liked me, and I know I'd rather not be in any kind of romantic relationship with them, so for that reason I have been trying to keep from giving her any reason to like me as more than a friend.

[LalaIbby90]

Ahhhhh coool!! So reasons for short text messages:

1. Not wanting to talk for whatever reasons
2. busy
3. Don't like the girl and don't want her to feel more for you
?

[EpicDweeb]

Those are my personal reasons :) There are the rare occasions where it's the person is just the kind with whom it's tough to hold a conversation. But those are the reasons I usually have. Hope it helps :)

[bingbaddaboom]

Women are beings of talk, men are beings of action. Texting is a necessary evil but we keep it to a minimum because texting too much is a surefire way to enter the friendzone. I only text as means to get the action that I want and I make the girl work for it.

[XYZTRE]

You are kinda wrong but whatever.

[bingbaddaboom]

@lukazervaki How so man? I don't mind if you have a different opinion but weigh in if so. There is no case to be made with empty disagreement.

[XYZTRE]

Women are beings of talk but a men has to talk, if a man cannot talk the woman will get bored. And when women talk they talk to each other but when a woman talks with a guy and a guy cannot talk with her is a deal breaker, no matter what actions he may show. Actions are for men of course but talking is necessary for men too. One must know both, action and talk.

[bingbaddaboom]

@lukazervaki Certainly, I agree that communication is a necessary skill to be successful with women-- most especially when deep understanding of communication and psychology are paired. I only contend that talking with a woman too much will dig you into a hole rather quickly. I don't think we are really in disagreement but I could have made it more clear by expanding on what I meant by "necessary evil."

[LalaIbby90]

@bingbaddabook So you text short to get a girl working for it? I can tell you it doesn't necessarily work, it'll push the girl away :/

[bingbaddaboom]

@LalaIbby90 You are here asking a question about it, are you not? Obviously the dude that isn't responding to you has proven that he has value by remaining scarce. He has also created mystery because you don't know the reason why he is doing it. One could argue that being brief and to the point anchors the point that the man is deciding when and when not. In a sense, he's leading the conversation that way, even if he isn't initiating contact. There's really a lot behind it all... but the point is, when done right, it actually attracts the girl rather than pushes her away.

[LalaIbby90]

@bingbaddadoom Isn't it risky though? Like that takes a lot of knowing how not to push a girl away - it's like he needs to be so experienced or knows a lot about women/girls in general (not that we can all fall under on category)

[bingbaddaboom]

If you keep texting him, he knows that he has you hooked already. The only inherently risky thing is if another guy swoops in to take you away while he has you on the line. No man would ever admit to that though because it obviously reeks of insecurity. If you want to create urgency with him, start flirting with another guy you like/kinda like and stop texting him. Make yourself scare and in demand. You can't be looking for his reaction though, I'm talking about naturally flirting. A smart man will smell from a mile away that you are only trying to get attention if it isn't genuine. You'll also find out if he's really into you or not by doing that. It flips the tables and puts you in control and challenges him to make the next move. If he doesn't make a move, he has no interest or he has no balls.

[bingbaddaboom]

*scarce

[LalaIbby90]

@bingbaddaboom During face to face when he has seen me "talk" (not even flirt) with other guys and later talk to him, he's full of tease/jokes and smiling or he'll be like that if I look "annoyed/upset" and then next time when I am more warm/ teasy with him he'll become distant/cold. During messages he always keeps it short though and I am mostly texting.

[bingbaddaboom]

@LalaIbby90 He likes you, I'm 99% sure of it. He's creating a constant ebb and flow of tension because he wants more than friendship.

From what you've told me so far, I think you like him too or else you wouldn't care much about it. I could be wrong or you could choose not to be honest about your feelings but that's neither here or there because this conversation is not about me.

If you do like him, get him into a situation where you two are 1 on 1. Or create a possibility that he can get you into a 1 on 1 situation. Basically, invite him to do something or insinuate that you'll be somewhere-- unfortunately alone/you want to go to a particular place but not by yourself. By doing the latter you save yourself from flat rejection and he'll very likely respond positively. Don't flake though or else it goes through the same cycle again. If he's a high value guy, he's got other prospects so he'll just write you off eventually.

Have you told him you just want friendship?

[LalaIbby90]

@bingbaddaboom I do like him, you're 100% right. I wouldn't bother asking if I wasn't interested. I have to admit I fell for his personality because he's genuinely nice. He once became visibly annoyed (but tried to hide it) that some other guy was talking bad to me. But based on your amazing suggestions (thank you by the way, so helpful) I feel so dumb. He told me about this place and I was like "yeah I have been there" and made suggestions, he seemed keen about the place but then when I went and asked him later if he'd gone he said no and was flat out not enthusiastic like he initially was and frowned when I said "you should go with mates." Oh my god i am such a cow.

[bingbaddaboom]

@LalaIbby90 It's alright, it's mutual but just wants to make sure you know? Obviously it wasn't the best answer to tell him to go with mates to that place BUT you also don't want to come off as easy so I kinda get why you subconsciously did it. Like I said, drop hints that you want to go somewhere alone with him. He'll either pick up on it or play it off in retaliation for how you played him off last time. Honestly, it's just a matter of both of you understanding that 'Hey, we are both into each other so let's go for it' at the same time. Personally, it's a huge turn on when a girl asks me but I never expect that.

Also, when you do go to some place with him. Openly flirt and dress the part. The sexier you dress, the more likely he is to make his move. He should anyhow but it's all about the little hints.

[LalaIbby90]

@bingbaddaboom You totally get it! Haha. Yeah it got worse with hot and cold after that moment and also when I tried hiding the flirting out of fear others in the group would notice. I think I may myself sent off mixed signals by trying to hide the attraction so no one around us notices to be honest. He may actually thought himself I friend-zoned him, especially that he doesn't seem like the guy who has a high self-esteem.

Thank you so much for the help, it's been super great. Eye-opening!!! :D

Totally appreciate it. :D

[bingbaddaboom]

No problem dear, I hope it works out for you both.

[cuttl]

What's with long text messages?
I only have long messages via text with friends I'd have to get on a plane to see. Everyone else, it's mostly to set up times to see each other or share pics.

[ty420]

Well that person is either very boring or very uninterested. I've actually been having the opposite. I've been the one sending paragraphs of text and only getting a short answer back (in my last relationship)

[LalaIbby90]

Noway at least you're a guy who sends long messages!!

[Anneki]

I'd judge your relationship based on your interactions in person; some people feel detached during text communication and this can cause them to seem distant as they do not feel like they are talking to a real person.

[ddy0974]

Personally I don't like texting conversations. Something typed can be totally taken out of context. Tone of voice, mannerisms, gestures, none of this comes through. Not even with emojis. I would rather do face to face.

[wankiam]

here's a mad crazy idea... perhaps he is busy or even more crazy, he prefers chatting face to face. some of us just dont like phones

[LalaIbby90]

So if you're friends with a girl or want to go into a relationship, you don't see the meaning of texting?

[wankiam]

for me... no but im from a time before mobile phones so know for a fact they are not essential to life. i understand you place more importance on texting but really you could try chilling out a bit with it and see how it goes. you never know it may work better for both of you

[WiseTurtle]

Boys generally like small talks, unlike girls which generally prefer big talks

[LalaIbby90]

It's interesting to see how many guys are like "why the long messages though" - wow so interesting.

[WiseTurtle]

We love to aim the goal directly without turning around

[LalaIbby90]

Is it stupid if i say I don't understand what you just wrote? :/

[WiseTurtle]

no at all it happens to me :D
Well i mean we generally say what needs to be said in few words, i will give you an example:
-Girl: "Hey honey i miss you, i miss all those moments we were together, bla bla bla..."
-Boy: "me too" *this is a honest answer it's short yes but it means a lot really*
And here's another reversed example:
-Boy: "I miss you and want you by myside right now"
-Girl: "Me too omg i really want to be by yourside right now and i really miss you so much"

[LalaIbby90]

Ohhhh I seeee! Thank you! That was very helpful!!! :)

[WiseTurtle]

Very welcome

[SRB_Super]

No, not really. At least it's not how I show not being interested.

[LalaIbby90]

Really how do you show not being interested in friendship/ relationship?

[SRB_Super]

Perhaps just talking for a little and ignoring later, or saying I'm not interested in friendship.

[cattertone]

he's probably taking to multiple people at once and gets distracted so he only replies with short texts

[rajindia]

no i don't think so it this is possible
he might be busy
or in love with some one

[rushd]

reverse the question.. what do girls mean when they answer message like that. it could just mean the guy wants to take it slow

[Lillyhope]

yes, he isn't interested

[havfodore]

Short texts = No bullshit

[emblem]

not it means that you love to talk more than us.

[maturedlibra]

yeah obviously

[OfDeath]

I don't know

[darshh]

not at all..

[LalaIbby90]

Sarcasm? Hahah!