Why would a guy be hesitant to ask you out?

[Anonymous]

[BlooLemonade]

As a guy, let me give you my take on it. I like to know her before I ask a girl out. I like to form a relationship before I take it a step further. I value the relationship I have even before I ask the girl out. I'm scared that I will not only be rejected, but I will also lose that friendship. There's also the fact that I don't know how she will react. I was with my buddy for moral support once, and he got punched in the nose. Trust me... Don't do that because it's a huge turnoff lol. Then there's the fact that he thinks that there is competition, and that the competition is better than he is. I'm broke, I got no job, nor even my license... deadbeat, right? I'm fixing that, but I know there are people much more stable than I am and that genuinely scares me from a girl I am trying to get with. Next there's the fact that he doesn't think he'll be able to please you. I've been with 2 girls in my life, each of which were long term relationships, both of which ended dramatically. You also have to remember, we are guys, not mind readers. We don't always pick up on signs like some women want us to. Anyways, good luck and I hope it works out. 😊

[Frosteh]

It's common in society that men are expected to be the ones who ask women out, in fact studies show that it's about 95% of the time the men do the asking.

The problem is that romantic/sexual rejection by women can be extremely stressful, induce a lot of anxiety, so it takes real balls to do it especially if you're doing it in person.

There's some good experiements where women have lived in the shoes of men, like dressed and appeared as men for like a year, and the anxiety of them having to approach women and potentially get rejected was extremely bad, it's really interesting listening to the feedback.

I think there's a book about it called self made man, but there's old clips floating around youtube, it's very interesting, a perspective I feel that women don't fully appreciate about life.

If you follow the psychologist Jordan Peterson you might also have seen his input on this topic, that women make men feel self-conscious, that in some sense sexual rejection is the ultimate human rejection. He likens this with the adam and eve story, how Adams nakedness in front of Eve is directly related to this concept.

[Pinay_ako]

From what I heard, some guys are hesitant to ask you out because they don't know your dating status is. For them to ask you if you're single or taken is a challenge and they don't want to sound so eager or desperate. And they have that fear of rejection. Show him some interest for him to ask you out if you like him. If not, do not lead guys on or anyone.

[of19395]

Hi im omid

[Anonymous]

it can be also that he's in a relationship or is not interested... it happens

[OptimusPrime2017]

Mostly due to that they don't have as much confidence that you will reciprocate their feelings and potentially reject them which is what they avoid putting themselves into or that they could be shy. From personal experience, I was slightly worried yet very nervous about doing that with my ex last year the first semester because at the time, my confidence was very low. But I did it anyways. I was the one that asked her out even when my confidence was at a low, even after that I'm not in a relationship anymore, I'm still a shy person.

[Vyxzuw]

It may be he doesn't see how the relationship would work out.

If he thinks he wouldn't get along with your friends, or thinks that you both wouldn't share each others interests, or that people would not approve of your relationship (due to an age, race, attractive, etc difference.)

Or he's just afraid that you'll reject him. Or doesn't know what you'd be interested in doing, so ask you out to what?

[Wolframium]

Because he knows, you reject him. It’s the most likely option and he waits for the right moment, when he can handle that without any damages.
And for god sakes, if you want to go out with him, ask him out. Yes, you, girl, asking guy out. Free yourself from stereotypes.

[KDawgTheOG]

Do you have any idea how many scenarios there are to this situation?

When I was a teenager I was just an angry loser who got rejected. I was so nervous until I finally got accepted by someone.

At 15 I lost my virginity and became the biggest man slu- I mean playboy... Do you understand what I am saying? I can write a whole book about this shit.

[jboyohsotrue]

If it was a spar of the moment thing like a coffee collision or fast food store besides that I am a talker and won't hesitate to try a conversation but ia user and you can so tell off my eye sockets if your the kind to take in every shade still some ladies guess I use the right drug for men

[Logorithim]

Shyness, doesn't want to get hurt, thinks you're not interested. I know when I was younger, my self-confidence was a lot lower than it is now, although never stopped me from asking a girl out.

[gnocchignome]

The expectation of being bold and firm as a guy can be overwhelming. Naturally, we're sad if we get turned down and I'm sure guys of all people would be humiliated to express heartbreak or sadness.

[Teejays]

Be bold and ask him if he ever wants to take him on dinner he never rejects you.. and of course he would love to see you out.. Have a great time

[zeussuez]

Introverts like me don't muster the courage to ask , even if the situation is apparent to everyone else around. I conveyed a hi to my first crush after 25 years !

[TurboHanset]

Because he is afraid of rejection and looking stupid. Girls reject a lot defenetly the young ones that might think a prince will come along which is BS. Been there

[yunali]

It's not BS. Prince does come along, but we have to reject for that to happen. If girls didn't do this way too many people would be in incompatible relationships.

[Tyladron]

They might be shy, or they dunno if they really what to date you or not, or maybe they needed a moment to think over it, there are many reasons why

[Paul09]

So much harder, and so much pressure for a guy to ask a girl out. Rejection sucks. You should ask him out. More women should ask men out. We are suppose to be equal.

[DaManTj]

Probably thinks that he'd get turned down, men tend not to take rejection well. If you like him, then you ask him, woman who make the first move I like

[AndryX7]

Shyness and fear of rejection, if you like her and she doesn't like you.

[reptocarl]

Too shy, doesn't like you, taken, likes someone else

[shashank475]

Fear of not to be loved back AKA rejection..
Which hit our self esteem so hard and make us doubt on our persona

[Bulgarian]

1. Doesn't like you.
2. Is busy.
3. Is a virgin.
4. Is a beta mangina.

[the_man57]

yes especially if he likes you and doesn't know you like him

[Dann_22]

Rejection, fully rejection. Feeling like were not the ones to make you (her) happy. Promising her a good date, life.

[scooogy]

I wouldn't ask a girl out if I was almost sure she'd reject me anyway.

[MistaM2daE]

Maybe he doesn't wanna get a no? Or maybe he doesn't know how tonask u out?

[manthan69]

Lots of things behind it.
Afraid of rejection...
Nervousness etc...

[Schumy]

He's not afraid you will say no, he's afraid you will say yes.

[averagejoes]

Mostly because he is afraid of what might be the reaction of the female. So being in denial is more safe than facing the truth

[Jbermënsch]

For me it depends if I will see this girl again, like in school or a gym for example. It's so hard to look to her eyes after a rejection

[Anonymous]

He knows rejection's possible.. and he knows that if you DID reject you, it can get awkward... noone wants to lose a "friend", right?

[Tarun0101]

Because he never know what the girl might be thinking..

[thenewadeel]

Mostly fear. Or cuz they're already too busy in Life

[korey]

Unsure how you feel about him just give him a little push let him know you like him

[CoffeeGirl456]

All guy no need to reject.

[jandurek]

Shyness, fear of rejection, lack of confidence

[LowCherry]

Give us some fking sighs and we will

[Tiger288]

Nobody like to get rejected

[Anonymous]

Are you a bit of a pain in the ass?

[DizzyAster]

Fear of rejection. It's real.

[Mathart]

Doesn't want to get rejected

[Anonymous]

The girl is too intimidating

[daddysir77]

because you might say no and it'll crush our egos.

[Anonymous]

He expects to be turned down by you.

[Donald010211]

because he don't want a No for an answers

[dudeguy12]

Maybe he's afraid of being cheated on

[gumballs]

i'm kind of intimidating. I'm also a perfectionist

[shiftrick]

Mostly, fear of rejection.

[felimedi]

Because guys are afraid of being rejected

[Ogb11]

Don't know how to approach

[Anonymous]

Because he is afraid and does not know how to act.

[Anonymous]

he might be afraid of being rejected

[tartaarsaus]

Fear of rejection

[cattertone]

Afraid of rejection

[sedrftvgyhujik]

becose of rejection

[FoodAddict]

Nervous or scared

[Anonymous]

Closet queer

[Kgfyjbf]

Maybe insecurity

[Anonymous]

He doesn't like you