Why are guys afraid to cry in front of people?

Question

I notice that guys would rather hold back their tears instead of letting it go why is that? And does it make a guy weak or soft if he cries?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Because most people - whether they admit it or not - think less of men who cry. Sure, you might not feel that way about your own boyfriend - BECAUSE YOU HAVE AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH HIM - but you'd probably feel that way about most other guys UNLESS, perhaps, you knew it was a huge loss, such as the death of a parent or child or something.

Imagine a guy crying because, oh, I don't know... because he spilled paint on the carpet, or crashed his car, or didn't get concert tickets he wanted (all instances where women in my life have cried) - you'd consider him a weak pansy. But it's hard to know where to draw the line, so guys learn very young (and get it constantly reinforced their whole lives) to "suck it up" and deal with their feelings in other ways.

Guys deal with their feelings by BEING LEFT ALONE and by DOING NOTHING (or, by doing something that may appear mindless, like fishing or some other hobby he does alone). It might just be watching some dumb TV show, or just sitting around literally doing nothing. Except what's REALLY happening (at least in some instances) is that he's processing his feelings. When cry, or scream, or whatever, and men spend time alone. That's just how we are.

Alessus · Accepted Answer

I'm averse to crying whether it is in front of others or when I'm alone, because crying does not help me deal with whatever I am crying about. Physical exercise helps me because it gives me something to do, something to expend that energy on and it gives me time to clear my head. But sitting around bawling my eyes out like a little girl, doesn't accomplish anything. If it helps someone else, then good for them. But whether someone is weak or sort, depends on what they are crying about, I'd say. If a family member like a grandfather has just died, then I'd say it doesn't make them weak. But if they cry because someone was verbally mean to them, then yeah, they are weak.

TheMoroccangirl · Accepted Answer

Why would guy cry in front of people if his control is stronger? (Note, they aren´t the same like females)  You make it sound like it´s a bad thing to show your strength during a rough time.

Mustachekitteh · Accepted Answer

Same reason why a lot of people don't like to do it. Either they don't want to look weak in front of others, be stared at, or disturb others around them.

Monstarz · Accepted Answer

i refuse to show tears in front of people even family unless its a really sad movie then legit only 1 tear

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Well one, men are not able to cry as much as women. That's just biology, women have more tear ducts and narrower channels so they are able to produce more tears and the narrower channels means it requires less tears to flow over and start crying. So most of the time its because they just can't physically cry. The other reason is because men are taught to control their emotions. First I really don't think women would appreciate a man who cries frequently, it would get old quick for her, and two men have to be in control, we are protectors and the ones who are suppose to lead so we have to be able to push aside emotions in order to do that. Its not a bad thing, being in control of your emotions is very good, it allows us to be solution oriented, instead of crying or fixating on our feelings we can fixate on solutions to the problems. Obviously pushing aside can lead to repression which is bad but in moderation its quite an effective skill to have. I mean imagine if their is a problem, sever problem if he, lets say your dad starts crying in front of you your immediate response will be to freak out more then likely and that's not really productive. Imagine it as a parent child thing and you start to realize why its some times important to hold back.

PlacentaSalad · Answer

Men are raised and expected by society to be stoic, to just deal with their problems and not complain or cry. Crying is seen as a weakness and unfortunately, not very masculine. I think part of the reason the suicide rate for men is much higher than women is because men don't really get that same support system as what women do. Many guys will even fear that crying in front of a girl he likes or is dating would make her lose respect for him.

I think the world is slowly changing, however; with trying to explain to men from younger ages that it's OK to express such emotion. Future generations of men might be much less "manly" in that regard.

ATuairiscean · Answer

It is definitely changing but we are not that far removed from the generation who believed "Real men don't cry" - It is what society is used to - For me it is like cross dressing, nothing wrong with it but society takes notice and a cross dresser would stand out - I don't think there would be a hugely negative backlash against a man crying but many would say subconciously that "It is unusual to see that" - Even in my 48 years on the planet, I have noticed a big change in attitude to it, I feel fear is the wrong word maybe a social awkwardness.

Jryson · Answer

Let me guess... U. S. millenial? Skinny jeans, legs crossed, pansy acting, bawling his eyes out, weighs 115 lbs... yadda yadda. That's ironic. I'm nowhere near the age posted on here... and my wife, I sarcastically mentioned to her how millenials are now. She stated to me that's why she never dated any of them, because she's looking for a man, not a bitch. She said... only 1 of us can be the girl. And she's from the Detroit ghetto. Funny how all the cookie cutter suburbia ones are trying to put on the Wonder Woman act, lol... oh well. Better you guys than us!

jersos1 · Answer

No. I don't do that. I openly admit that I am an emotional and sensitive guy, whether the girls like me or not.

I tend to cry more often than the average guys, and that too openly. Because I believe that we can't generalise people like that. Why can't guys cry in front of people? What are they supposed to do?

Remember all these things have been imposed by the society. But this is something I don't like to abide by. I think this is kinda silly.

If someone feels like crying, they should do. Irrespective of a guy or a girl.

And why should I hide it from others? Am I doing any wrong thing? Just the fact that I am crying DOESN'T MAKE ME WEAK! IF YOU THINK THAT, YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN.

Crying makes me seem that I value emotions in my life. And they are important to me.

Anonymous · Answer

Coming from a guy who used to crier, the cold hard truth is YES. It does make him look soft and weak to cry in public. The only exception would be if it's at a funeral, intense sporting event, at a wedding or if his kid was just born. But all the pressures, insecurities, hurts, etc. that you feel (and men feel just as much) have to be tolerate and be tough.

I truly believe that WOMEN have less respect for guys who cry (subconsciously) than OTHER MEN. WOMEN see him as less of a man, hence less attractive if she shows his emotions.

Anonymous · Answer

This is the male equivalent to the female question "why are women afraid to sleep around?"

Because despite all the voices out there saying it doesn't or shouldn't happen, we DO get judged for it. Society in general, and women in particular, are turned off by men who cry openly. It makes people uncomfortable and makes them feel weird around those guys. You women can tell us all you want that it doesn't turn you off and you don't judge us for it, but we ALL know deep down that it does and you do.

It's in women's DNA to be turned on by physically AND emotionally strong men, and turned off by weak men, and crying shows weakness. Doesn't matter what you say, those are the facts.

SaintRichie23 · Answer

I just don't cry. The last time I cried was 6 years ago when I found out we were putting my dog down because of his seizures. I have been to two funerals since then, but didn't cry.

I'm open about my emotions, but crying is just not an emotional climax that I really ever hit.

Anonymous · Answer

because with today's society guys aren't "allowed" to show emotion in public that make him appear weak even though sadness is an emotion everybody feels. as little boys, it's acceptable for them to cry and all that in public because they're very young. but once a guy hit's puberty basically, he's not allowed to cry in public or show any signs of stress and what not anymore because then he's considered weak because he's supposed to "be a man"

similarly how girls can't be who they want to be in some public settings. by this i mean having to be sickly skinny to be liked, not being like if they don't wear makeup and look natural because then society will classify them as ugly and manipulate them into thinking they must wear ounces of makeup and products, get this and that done, etc to "improve" their appearance and live up to society's standards

it's just the way how the world is today which is very very disappointing

Hal2002 · Answer

Because it is taken as a sign of weakness.

Personal experience has shown me, that no matter what females say about wanting a sensitive man that can show his emotions. No woman is going to respect or stay with a man long, that is a cry baby.

The only time a man is forgiven sheading a tear, is at a funeral for grandparents parents and a child.

No woman is going to put up with a man that cries because he did not get a promotion, or because he is sad.

lucidfruitshop · Answer

Well because crying re. ovee water and salt from your body, I mean you have to rehydrate your electrolytes in your body or you will die. Which means I gotta drink water in public :(((( it's super scary what will people think. Am a freak for not drinking soft drinks? Peer pressure it's Cray Cray.

AlphaGhost · Answer

We don't cry cuz you are responsible for the problem in the first place, so its best to "own your shit" and solve your problem rather than just cry around and bitch about its not our fault.

micky16 · Answer

Well. I do cry as I can't hold myself back when the flood of tears comes. And I don't think it has something to do with softness or hardness. Crying is a normal human behaviour and it should be taken as normal, as everyone does when a baby or a small boy/girl cries.

Slothium · Answer

I wish we lived in a society where it was acceptable for men to express all of their emotions, but we do not, and that is the harsh truth of it. I don't think a man is soft or weak if he cries, but rather strength is a matter of persistence and not giving up over the long-term.

It DOES matter that he saves face in society, though, and many men will judge him. If a man is going to cry, I highly recommend he cry in private or seek solace with a VERY trusted and loyal friend.

Anonymous · Answer

We aren't.

We simply deal with shit differently than women do and women can't seem to get their head around the fact that we don't have the need to break down as often as they do. We internalize and deal with shit ourselves, while women need to make it known and seek outside help and opinions.

DonkeyRick69 · Answer

Because feelings and emotions are a private personal thing and not something that should be spewed over others. Yes it does make you weak. As a male to be seen as weak to others invites attack.

Anonymous · Answer

Because when boys are growing up, people repeat phrases such as "true men do not cry" and similar to them whenever they cry. And even if there is a real reason to cry (e. g. at a funeral) instead of trying to support you people just say "be a man" to you.

Physics-Man · Answer

Because it's not a masculine trait. We leave that sort of thing to more emotional women. It's been shown in studies that men who don't display feelings are rated as being more sexually attractive by women.

AlphaStyles · Answer

Trying to act manly but even the strongest man cry 👆😂

MasterSirMaster · Answer

See this guy with his girlfriend... We ALL want to kick sand in his face, kick his ass, and take his girlfriend... enough said?

reno117 · Answer

I am not, I was but something happened that made me show my feelings much more.

djkracka · Answer

Im not afraid to cry in front of anyone i just very rarely cry even at funerals of loved ones i rarely cry just have become pretty numb to negative feelings

burstfirewolfloki6 · Answer

Lots of men believe that if he cries, he is weak. They believe a real man doesn't cry because we are strong

burpzzzzz · Answer

Hmm maybe this is why. Drinking male tears.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I'm not afraid to show my sensitive side in front of people.

eagle1951 · Answer

use to be growing up. not any more. the tuff guy act is gone

Vynar · Answer

Even if people try and tell you that it's alright, it kills your status as a man. It may be 'oldfashioned' but still true. Nobody can take you serious, especially as a leader, if you dare to show any weakness.

Flameboy111 · Answer

They don't want to ruin their macho image. They don't want people to see their emotions as emotions are a sign of weakness.

CaptainSmartass · Answer

Because it's not very manly to cry. Crying is seen as a girl's thing. Simples...

Antonio_ · Answer

Why do all women think that most guys experience emotion the same as women and we are just holding our emotions back. We don't feel emotions the same, we don't feel the as much or as strong. We don't hold it back, we are just not as emotional.

Anonymous · Answer

Because we are men and we aren't meant to cry. It makes you weak. So we try not to do it. If you think there is something wrong with it there isn't, it's a good thing men have to tough.

outermostaura · Answer

We're not afaid to it just doesn't serve a purpose. Men are into problem somving and crying does nothing to solve most problems

ItsYaBoySkinnyPen-is · Answer

Haven't cried in front of people or alone since I was 5.

Jackblue · Answer

Women don't really cry that much in public that I have seen either. Displaying one's vulnerabilities reveals a person's weaknesses which others can exploit.

Humbledman74006 · Answer

People in general. shouldn't cry for any reason, or in most public settings.

kmzero · Answer

Most of us are taught that crying isn't a thing for mans, it makes you look fragile.

Insanyx12 · Answer

I don't ill cry anywhere people don't notice me anyways

Anonymous · Answer

Because it's embarrassing, especially if the guy cries cause of some girl.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on why he's crying, but generally I think it's bad if a girl sees you crying and that's the *primary* motivation for not crying. Although, it's also a pretty common reflex for boys to just not cry front of people.

Genbento · Answer

As a guy, I have no idea how that works but... it's not only males. My sister was the same too!

TomBradysJersey · Answer

1. It's kind of weird to cry in public 2. Guys are told to keep their emotions to themselves

rapfan107 · Answer

Makes you show weakness it let people know they can break you, when you have to pretend you're rock hard and nothing can break you down

BronzedAdonis · Answer

social standards regarding masculinity + saving face

Anonymous · Answer

If you're crying over burnt fries, that's a little much.. but, if you're crying because of a death, that's fine

ARHAANBHATT · Answer

Just because guys r more mature than a women

BMW12 · Answer

i dont cry unless any of my loved ones died that hapend last week

MrFro · Answer

I'm afraid to cum in front of people

jakeofalltrades · Answer

they don't want to be seen as week

DrewBoss187 · Answer

Cuz we don't wanna bum people out

MohammedAZ · Answer

I think it would make people think I'm weak

Anonymous · Answer

they are afraid that people will look down on them

didigo182 · Answer

We never cry.

Why are guys afraid to cry in front of people?

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