Do guys like non-traditionally feminine girls at all?

Question

I'm a very straightforward person, I don't mind talking about sex, I have lots of "manly" interests and I always ask to be open and honest of my partner. I think I'm cute and have curvy body, but I'm strong physically and quite independent. This leads to guys basically friendzoning me, because I'm not a shy, cutesy girl. I mean, one even told me straight to face that I'm not a girlfriend material because I don't play hard to get. I'm just lost. Should I play coy and naive and be blushing maiden on dates if I want a boyfriend? I mean, does my ability to open jars and fix plumbing make me a less attractive woman? Pls help

UnknownReflection · Accepted Answer

I would start by addressing this; honestly; if i haven't had girlfriend; and i've been near you. I'd definitely be interested in spending time with you. I adore your personality and the way you carry yourself.

Furthermore; you should not change yourself for anyone. You are who you are. It's matter of take it or leave it. You must just accept yourself the way you are and move forward. The fact is; there are always different type of people. You just must be yourself; the right people will arrive. No; you won't necessarily end up being alone forever. You haven't met the right person yet. Simple as that. You must be patient and focus on other aspects of your life. As you are headed to the road of your journey; you will meet the right person out of nowhere very automatically. Someone that will click with you very well.

Everyone have various preferences and ideologies. Personalities and outlooks. If these type of men are the ones you have met; it's fine. Continue living your life. You'll meet more variable men. Me being one of them as you can see. I'm not alone for sure; there are many men like me who would appreciate your type of mentality and character. So just don't give up. Don't mask your true shade either. Stick to it and burst it instead. You must ignite your true side whatsoever. The right guy will be there for you in the right time; in the right place. Trust your path! and perhaps destiny; if you believe in it.

Straightforward; Confidential; Strong and independent; Open and honest; these are incredible traits. You are an amazing individual; please embrace yourself and be patient. Allow time to settle you down more and you will involve with more new experiences. Different outlooks and preferences in terms of men and relationship.

Honestly; i believe part of this relates to maturity as well. You are more mature then those young men. They want to play games and have fun. But you look for settlement and commitment for the most part. They like drama and exploration; you enjoy to be clean and clear; upfront and settle. But that doesn't mean you should change who you are. Just wait and continue. You'll meet more different men. I promise!

Good Luck.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

An ex of mine was just as you mentioned you are. She agreed to going on our first date without any drama (there was no me chasing her), was very broad-minded, had interests that are traditionally "men only" and was always extremely honest about everything.

She and I were very compatible with each other so much so that we often complimented each other and brought out the best in one another.

I still believe she could have been "the one" had misfortune not intervened.

The guy friends you are referring to will never get with you not because there's something wrong with them or, God forbid, there's something's off about you.

It's just that you are not their type! Simple as that. People have preferences, wait for the guy you like and the guy who understands and appreciates you for who you are. You'll definitely find someone who's worth your time!

As for changing who you are as a person by being coy and "girly", don't even go there! Being fake is by far the worst turn off for most guys! Be yourself and be confident!

Hope this helps! 😇

aicarg · Accepted Answer

Guys love a goid mixture of a girl that knows how to keep her composure but is also rooted in her values and can care for herself. How you have described yourself is far from unattractive, you sound perfectly fine and if anything somewhat like me. Perhapes you're just around guys who look and have low standards of girls, wanting more passive and reserved traits. But I seater to you that there are mature guy's who love and appreciate a girl who can hold her ground and is also her independent individual. Don't worry yourself too much on how you wish boys would precieve you. Keep doing you until you have a guy that admires your strong self.

Nyx_85 · Accepted Answer

Don't change yourself just to please someone else. You'll meet more people as time goes on. Don't judge guys by the few you've met. You sound like a pretty well rounded person (meaning you have different sides to you. You aren't just one thing. Not rounded in the body lol) and I'm sure lots of guys would love to date you. Plus you are pretty to boot.

archiz · Accepted Answer

People want a confident and independent partner.
Maybe you act like you don't need the other person and that puts them off.
When theuvfeel a disinterest and lack of sensibility towards them they 're gonna be put off by it

Oram52 · Answer

I don't like tomboys never dated one. I am independent can also mean different things. I prefer slim girls :)

However you need to explain this; "but I'm strong physically and quite independent"
"I'm not a girlfriend material because I don't play hard to get"

There are a lot so called I am strong independent woman and guys are "intimidated" by me (they're not). So the problem is not being strong or independent here. What I am trying to say is there isn't much to figure out from your question, there could be other details unrelated. You might be focused on physically strong and independent, however that might not have much to do with why guys might be resistant in dating you.

There are plenty of guys who like tomboys, plenty of guys have no problem with physically strong, good at plumbing, no problem with independent (depending on definition). So I'd start by asking what exactly is your definition of 'independent', and what exactly do you mean non-traditionally feminine.

Is your demeanour feminine? Do you act, talk like guys? As you can read from other answers they haven't got a clue either. Nothing much to deduce from your question why guys might be reluctant to date you. Physically you're pretty so I don't see that as a problem either.

FreshOutaIdeas · Answer

Wait what?
You say your a straight down the line kinda gal and "men" turn you away?
Darling, coming from a VERY traditional guy in most ways (not religious or anything tho), these guys aren't men... Cutesy shy girls are all well and good, but they often become TOO retiring when a genuinely confident (not cocky) guy shows them a little interest.
Flirty games is one thing, but like I say shy/er girls often shoot themselves in the foot - and for a straight down the line kinda guy, to have a no bullshit girl show me she's down for fun, well it'd be a treat.
Stay true to yourself is all I'll say!

ADFSDF1996 · Answer

Femininity and masculinity vary from culture to culture. Being physically strong isn’t really gender specific, it’s genetics. Some people are naturally strong regardless of sex.

If that’s really you on your profile picture I think you look feminine and I mean that as a compliment. You have a feminine facial structure.

Gender specific physical traits depend on body and facial shape/structure, voice pitch and fashion. Gender specific non physical traits depend on personality, interests and behavior.

There are stereotypical gender traits but they no longer apply to people today. Dresses and skirts use to be a symbol of femininity, nowadays females can wear pants and still be feminine.

A lot of guys don’t really care on how masculine or feminine a woman is, the most important things are being at least somewhat pretty and being a nice person.

winterfox10 · Answer

Some guys do! I’m not one of them, because I’m never sure what I’m doing with a woman like that. She literally has no reason to interact with me and can drop me in a heartbeat. I want my girl to need me a little. Not “need” in the traditional sense, but in the “oh baby, you’re so strong, could these upstairs for me?” Type of need. Can you lift the thing up yourself? Of course, but the fact you want me to help you makes me feel like we’re partners and like I’m not just here for your entertainment.

Dargil · Answer

You are swimming in the wrong pond. Examine interests that tend to attract and concentrate girls like you. In my upbringing around horseback riding, girls like you were referred to by girly girls in the perjorative "horsey", meaning relatively bold and direct, deferring to just looking neat and clean rather than "fabulous". Yep. Change your own oil and filter. Manhandle a 1,200 pound 'Walker and get his respect. Operate a chain saw. You get it. Something else. Sex seemed simple, open and without drama. Being around headstrong animals takes away the Eww factor, I'd guess. Equestrian stuff. NASCAR. Outdoorsy stuff. That's where guys who will find your "horsiness" appealing, live. And, of course, you never chase a guy. In the right setting, a friendly, open demeanor and looking casually squared away will attract us like moths.

foxsquirrell · Answer

Not girlfriend material because you are not hard to get? Come my way please. I hate chasing around, because I am to my logic if a girl likes a guy then it should not be difficult at all. On the opposite it should be easy and effortless. If she plays hard to get for even a day to my mind that means she is not really interested or she is telling me either you work hard for me like this all your life or I will find another man. To which I would give the finger or something like that before she could finish the sentence as it were. So I say be yourself, there are guys who like you as you are for sure. ;)

ksoma · Answer

Nah, guys who say you're not girlfriend material have a screw loose. Open honesty is easy to deal with without worrying about drama, and "manly" interests just means more potential mutual interests.
I don't see why a guy would WANT the hard to get, coy nonsense.

Sowhoawolf · Answer

My ex talked about sex like a bro would. Made jokes about how hard other guys choked her during sex. It was the most repulsive thing i had ever seen in a woman. Some things need to be kept away from a relationship. Other than that i dont have much to say. I have very little dating experience

metalsucks2 · Answer

I think those guys who friend-zone you were looking for submissive women which you aren't.

Don't change who you are. If people can't accept you for who you are then that is there problem not yours. I'd rather date someone like you than someone who is submissive.

ladsin · Answer

I personally don't like traditionally effeminate qualities (character traits or style) in a woman. Perhaps that's because I'm more emotionally attracted to men? I don't know. But I don't like earrings, makeup, dresses (although I'm ok with it), playing dress up, shopping, etc. although I am a big fan of black nail polish and boobies 💁‍♂️

ThisDudeHere · Answer

If I can get along with the person, I don't care about the extent of her femininity. Needless to say, I would prefer that she did have some. I still want to feel like I'm dating a female and not a man in a woman's skin, but yeah, generally I don't care.

Fouriiiis · Answer

First off those are not they guys for you, as friends sure, but if you want something real and you want it to last don't lower your standards. That would be called settling dear and in my honest opinion if it intimidates them that you can fix plumbing and open jars then you're just overqualified for them.

NotReallyBatman · Answer

I don't like women who identify as feminists, but tomboy type women I don't mind. I mean, what'll I do if I have a kid who likes sports? That kid will have to have a mother who likes sports, because I'll just be sitting in the bleachers at their games falling asleep and bored.

AustinTXGuy · Answer

Don't change yourself, ever. You're a gem and there are plenty of guys out there who will love you for who you are. Guys want you to fall into that cutesy category bc they know how manage those types of girls. You don't want that either. Be your wonderful self, it's sexy when a woman has confidence in herself and can get shit done.

Jager66 · Answer

You sound like a rare and fine catch to me! Some people just have fucked up values in life but you seem fucking great so don't sweat it.

Ignore the haters who say shit like "not a girlfriend material because I don't play hard to get" /bleh! A woman plays hard to get and I walk away 100% of the time, no second chances.

thatguyfromtoronto · Answer

Don't go by what a few guys say, some guys and men like the sweet, innocent female, other guys and men like a girl or woman who can really grab life by the balls, it just depends on preference. I'm sure you will find the right guy eventually, it takes time for all of us. I'm 32, I have dated girls but it did not pan out the way I envisioned it.

Myquietsoul · Answer

I love straight forward girls because I'm straight forward myself. As far as a the independent thing goes, it depends what you mean. If you mean not having to rely on a man (or anyone for that matter) for every single little thing, then yeah, that's attractive. If you mean "I don't need a man" attitude where you are argumentative, bossy and like you're trying to "be like a man" so-to-speak, then no, that's a turn-off

R00KIE_GUY · Answer

I prefer women like you to be honest. However, there are many (probably most) guys that want "feminine" women. I wouldn't pretend to be someone you're not as that will only cause problems down the road. The only thing I can suggest is try not to come on strong initially.

clampfan101 · Answer

I'm not sure how to define "non-traditionally feminine", but I love women with strong will and like a little a little mussel sometimes. I also like the kind of look the girl in that photo she has. She looks hot.
I would want a mostly feminine woman, but not someone like Snow White. lol I want her to be smart and strong willed in addition to pretty and cute, and wouldn't mind her being tough on the side.

Mr-Kabuki · Answer

the more masculine a guy is, the more feminine of a woman he is going to want. the relationship between men and women is like the yin yang. they are meant to compliment one another. if a female, has a lot of masculinity rather than femininity, then she won't attract masculine guys.

Dale1982 · Answer

You've only met a tiny percentage of guys in your own town never mind worldwide. Everybodies different. Normal guys don't set a preference they just see if anything develops. Why boundary yourself with tastes and rules I say. Let shit just happen

Blonde401 · Answer

Same girl! Single 3 years now because of the same things. Not going to change who I am to fit into someone's boxes. You do you, we can't all be princesses.

Bananaman177 · Answer

You're surrounded by idiots and you don't know how lucky you are not to have been trapped in a relationship with one.

There's all kinds of guys out there who would think you were perfect, I highly encourage you NOT to settle for anything less.

Manuel2 · Answer

Where are You? Mem dream of women like you. Men flirts and hinters (well I do) That is why young boy like old bags as they don't have to waste with chat. Tell you what they want and boy you get. Now it is rear in young with to find diamond like you.

I only wish I knew you, As you sound like a perfect wife for. Despite our huge age gap. Do you have a lot older sister With you attitude.

madhatter1971 · Answer

At 20 yes young guys will tend to do that. That's because they are still into games and being strong and not afraid to say what you feel means they think you are work to them. When they finally grow up they will realize you're actually the opposite.

Anonymous · Answer

There needs to be a balance between masculine and feminine polarity. If you have masculine traits you are going to click best with guys who have feminine traits.

If you want to attract masculine guys you do need to reign in your outgoingness a bit. This may be difficult to do but consider yourself lucky. It is WAY easier to act shy and coy if you are naturally extroverted vs. acting outgoing if you are introverted.

MzAsh · Answer

You're young, so guys your age are immature. They think they like traditional women. Just give it time and men start to learn better about what they actually like in a woman.

Nice222 · Answer

I love your kind of personality. Sometimes guys will misinterpret independence as not wanting to be in a relationship. So you might have to be a little more straight forward about wanting to be in a relationship. Also don’t wait too long after meeting a guy. Once a friendship starts it’s hard to move it into a relationship.

Descapla · Answer

Just be yourself. There will always be someone out there that will want you for who you are. Don't change it. Who doesn't want a woman who can get shit done?

alice55 · Answer

Nowadays I think most men don't like the "tradionally feminine" girl. In my country at least they prefer a more edgy girl.

jersos1 · Answer

Nah. I would prefer girls like you because according to me you look sexy and cool. And I myself; being a shy guy, find it hot to find a girlfriend who is opposite of me. As they say, opposites attract...😂

TheSpartan · Answer

Are you a whore? Men might be getting the impression that you’re immodest and slutty, and thus don’t want to date you. Men absolutely do not want to date slutty women, despite what they might tell you.

PoliceLivesMatter · Answer

You seem fine, I think the men who have said that to you were low quality

AEther · Answer

fuckem! if they don't like you for who you are, then being in a relationship with them isn't going to be worth putting on an act for is it?

_caaaaaaam · Answer

Obviously it varies. But I thinks across the board the majority of guys like cute/submissive and sometimes a little tomboyish loud mouth kind of girl.

bente2 · Answer

Same tbh. I notice a lot of guys dislike it. I know there’s still guys out there that don’t mind though.

msg812 · Answer

It depends on what you understand about being a feminine. if it means wandering around with too much make up, no itis a turn off for me but if it means being a girl who in the picture you shared, yeah she looks lovely :)

Astoriana · Answer

I know what those words mean, but I have no idea what they mean together in this context.

madgoat · Answer

You sound great. Be you. It's probably that they are not used to women like you so a cutesy girl is more obviously accessible and non threatening.

Alexistheman333 · Answer

They'll assume you like girls. I would prefer someone somewhat straightforward. But then again would you be comfortable with a slightly more feminine boyfriend? Thats what i want to know.

Tomsta · Answer

I peresonally don't like tomboys but i don't liek girly girls either girls that are bit of both are definatley my type, would you say you're more tomboy or girly girl?

harryish · Answer

You should nit not look for validation from others what you should do what you shouldn't. Be your own self. Do what you feel is good for you. Dont look for validations.

Kabluie · Answer

those are attractive qualities to me, and that's the guys fault for not seeing through and pursing it.

planwithaman · Answer

Nah, keep doing your thing. The right guy will come along for you at the right time.

Z-Spark · Answer

the paly hard to get part is dumb we dont like to chase women. but the rest... sorry not really my kind of girl i prefer normal girls that have normal feminine interests not ones that act like me

burpzzzzz · Answer

I'm going tell you straight up. Men want to be useful for a woman. A man is happy making a woman happy. If you can't do most things yourself he can't do anything for you.

WeirdoWerdo · Answer

A plus for not playing "hard to get" ;) As a shy confused guy every girl just turns me off coz they play hard to get as I said... I'm shy...

troychapman · Answer

hell no thats the perfect woman if you ask me never change always be you

Anonymous · Answer

Traditional girls are not my type, especially not "feminine" (girly girls). I prefer sporty & tomboyish type of girls, who are assertive, self-confident and dominant.

raspberry0416 · Answer

You shouldn't change, just be yourself. You sound like you would fit in well in a different country,.

Zebadee88 · Answer

You look great and sound like a normal young woman perhaps a bit insecure? You will meet a man that wants you sooner or later.

Regular1 · Answer

I guess it depends on what you mean by "manly interests." Your profile picture certainly looks feminine enough. I would definitely bone you.

noesbueno · Answer

I would much rather have a woman like you that is more open about what she wants than who wants me to read her mind.

Agent · Answer

As PLM said, those men were of low quality. Everything you said about yourself is a plus.

chnapo · Answer

I love girls just like you are :) not that I know any, but what you describe sounds awesome. I would definitely try to date you if I met you.

false · Answer

Maybe its something else cause you seem just fine to me 👌 or maybe im gay and but i dont know it yet

molz25 · Answer

No not at all, the isn't wrong who said this but it's just you haven't found the right one yet. Stay original and live with your own policies you will have someone loving you for the same.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think many people like playing hard to get, it's basically joke at this point in my opinion. Did you actually go after a guy, flirt and express interest?

irrationally97 · Answer

Nah I wouldn't mind that at all. I think it'd quite attractive if a girl is strong and independent.

David-95 · Answer

I'm naturally attracted to more traditional shy girls. Almost all of my girlfriends except one have all been very girly.

Do guys like non-traditionally feminine girls at all?

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