I would start by addressing this; honestly; if i haven't had girlfriend; and i've been near you. I'd definitely be interested in spending time with you. I adore your personality and the way you carry yourself.
Furthermore; you should not change yourself for anyone. You are who you are. It's matter of take it or leave it. You must just accept yourself the way you are and move forward. The fact is; there are always different type of people. You just must be yourself; the right people will arrive. No; you won't necessarily end up being alone forever. You haven't met the right person yet. Simple as that. You must be patient and focus on other aspects of your life. As you are headed to the road of your journey; you will meet the right person out of nowhere very automatically. Someone that will click with you very well.
Everyone have various preferences and ideologies. Personalities and outlooks. If these type of men are the ones you have met; it's fine. Continue living your life. You'll meet more variable men. Me being one of them as you can see. I'm not alone for sure; there are many men like me who would appreciate your type of mentality and character. So just don't give up. Don't mask your true shade either. Stick to it and burst it instead. You must ignite your true side whatsoever. The right guy will be there for you in the right time; in the right place. Trust your path! and perhaps destiny; if you believe in it.
Straightforward; Confidential; Strong and independent; Open and honest; these are incredible traits. You are an amazing individual; please embrace yourself and be patient. Allow time to settle you down more and you will involve with more new experiences. Different outlooks and preferences in terms of men and relationship.
Honestly; i believe part of this relates to maturity as well. You are more mature then those young men. They want to play games and have fun. But you look for settlement and commitment for the most part. They like drama and exploration; you enjoy to be clean and clear; upfront and settle. But that doesn't mean you should change who you are. Just wait and continue. You'll meet more different men. I promise!
Good Luck.
Most Helpful Opinions
An ex of mine was just as you mentioned you are. She agreed to going on our first date without any drama (there was no me chasing her), was very broad-minded, had interests that are traditionally "men only" and was always extremely honest about everything.
She and I were very compatible with each other so much so that we often complimented each other and brought out the best in one another.
I still believe she could have been "the one" had misfortune not intervened.
The guy friends you are referring to will never get with you not because there's something wrong with them or, God forbid, there's something's off about you.
It's just that you are not their type! Simple as that. People have preferences, wait for the guy you like and the guy who understands and appreciates you for who you are. You'll definitely find someone who's worth your time!
As for changing who you are as a person by being coy and "girly", don't even go there! Being fake is by far the worst turn off for most guys! Be yourself and be confident!
Hope this helps! 😇
Guys love a goid mixture of a girl that knows how to keep her composure but is also rooted in her values and can care for herself. How you have described yourself is far from unattractive, you sound perfectly fine and if anything somewhat like me. Perhapes you're just around guys who look and have low standards of girls, wanting more passive and reserved traits. But I seater to you that there are mature guy's who love and appreciate a girl who can hold her ground and is also her independent individual. Don't worry yourself too much on how you wish boys would precieve you. Keep doing you until you have a guy that admires your strong self.
Don't change yourself just to please someone else. You'll meet more people as time goes on. Don't judge guys by the few you've met. You sound like a pretty well rounded person (meaning you have different sides to you. You aren't just one thing. Not rounded in the body lol) and I'm sure lots of guys would love to date you. Plus you are pretty to boot.
People want a confident and independent partner.
Maybe you act like you don't need the other person and that puts them off.
When theuvfeel a disinterest and lack of sensibility towards them they 're gonna be put off by it
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
77Opinion
I don't like tomboys never dated one. I am independent can also mean different things. I prefer slim girls :)
However you need to explain this; "but I'm strong physically and quite independent"
"I'm not a girlfriend material because I don't play hard to get"
There are a lot so called I am strong independent woman and guys are "intimidated" by me (they're not). So the problem is not being strong or independent here. What I am trying to say is there isn't much to figure out from your question, there could be other details unrelated. You might be focused on physically strong and independent, however that might not have much to do with why guys might be resistant in dating you.
There are plenty of guys who like tomboys, plenty of guys have no problem with physically strong, good at plumbing, no problem with independent (depending on definition). So I'd start by asking what exactly is your definition of 'independent', and what exactly do you mean non-traditionally feminine.
Is your demeanour feminine? Do you act, talk like guys? As you can read from other answers they haven't got a clue either. Nothing much to deduce from your question why guys might be reluctant to date you. Physically you're pretty so I don't see that as a problem either.Wait what?
You say your a straight down the line kinda gal and "men" turn you away?
Darling, coming from a VERY traditional guy in most ways (not religious or anything tho), these guys aren't men... Cutesy shy girls are all well and good, but they often become TOO retiring when a genuinely confident (not cocky) guy shows them a little interest.
Flirty games is one thing, but like I say shy/er girls often shoot themselves in the foot - and for a straight down the line kinda guy, to have a no bullshit girl show me she's down for fun, well it'd be a treat.
Stay true to yourself is all I'll say!Femininity and masculinity vary from culture to culture. Being physically strong isn’t really gender specific, it’s genetics. Some people are naturally strong regardless of sex.
If that’s really you on your profile picture I think you look feminine and I mean that as a compliment. You have a feminine facial structure.
Gender specific physical traits depend on body and facial shape/structure, voice pitch and fashion. Gender specific non physical traits depend on personality, interests and behavior.
There are stereotypical gender traits but they no longer apply to people today. Dresses and skirts use to be a symbol of femininity, nowadays females can wear pants and still be feminine.
A lot of guys don’t really care on how masculine or feminine a woman is, the most important things are being at least somewhat pretty and being a nice person.You are swimming in the wrong pond. Examine interests that tend to attract and concentrate girls like you. In my upbringing around horseback riding, girls like you were referred to by girly girls in the perjorative "horsey", meaning relatively bold and direct, deferring to just looking neat and clean rather than "fabulous". Yep. Change your own oil and filter. Manhandle a 1,200 pound 'Walker and get his respect. Operate a chain saw. You get it. Something else. Sex seemed simple, open and without drama. Being around headstrong animals takes away the Eww factor, I'd guess. Equestrian stuff. NASCAR. Outdoorsy stuff. That's where guys who will find your "horsiness" appealing, live. And, of course, you never chase a guy. In the right setting, a friendly, open demeanor and looking casually squared away will attract us like moths.
Some guys do! I’m not one of them, because I’m never sure what I’m doing with a woman like that. She literally has no reason to interact with me and can drop me in a heartbeat. I want my girl to need me a little. Not “need” in the traditional sense, but in the “oh baby, you’re so strong, could these upstairs for me?” Type of need. Can you lift the thing up yourself? Of course, but the fact you want me to help you makes me feel like we’re partners and like I’m not just here for your entertainment.
Not girlfriend material because you are not hard to get? Come my way please. I hate chasing around, because I am to my logic if a girl likes a guy then it should not be difficult at all. On the opposite it should be easy and effortless. If she plays hard to get for even a day to my mind that means she is not really interested or she is telling me either you work hard for me like this all your life or I will find another man. To which I would give the finger or something like that before she could finish the sentence as it were. So I say be yourself, there are guys who like you as you are for sure. ;)
Nah, guys who say you're not girlfriend material have a screw loose. Open honesty is easy to deal with without worrying about drama, and "manly" interests just means more potential mutual interests.
I don't see why a guy would WANT the hard to get, coy nonsense.My ex talked about sex like a bro would. Made jokes about how hard other guys choked her during sex. It was the most repulsive thing i had ever seen in a woman. Some things need to be kept away from a relationship. Other than that i dont have much to say. I have very little dating experience
I think those guys who friend-zone you were looking for submissive women which you aren't.
Don't change who you are. If people can't accept you for who you are then that is there problem not yours. I'd rather date someone like you than someone who is submissive.I personally don't like traditionally effeminate qualities (character traits or style) in a woman. Perhaps that's because I'm more emotionally attracted to men? I don't know. But I don't like earrings, makeup, dresses (although I'm ok with it), playing dress up, shopping, etc. although I am a big fan of black nail polish and boobies 💁♂️
If I can get along with the person, I don't care about the extent of her femininity. Needless to say, I would prefer that she did have some. I still want to feel like I'm dating a female and not a man in a woman's skin, but yeah, generally I don't care.
First off those are not they guys for you, as friends sure, but if you want something real and you want it to last don't lower your standards. That would be called settling dear and in my honest opinion if it intimidates them that you can fix plumbing and open jars then you're just overqualified for them.
I don't like women who identify as feminists, but tomboy type women I don't mind. I mean, what'll I do if I have a kid who likes sports? That kid will have to have a mother who likes sports, because I'll just be sitting in the bleachers at their games falling asleep and bored.
Don't change yourself, ever. You're a gem and there are plenty of guys out there who will love you for who you are. Guys want you to fall into that cutesy category bc they know how manage those types of girls. You don't want that either. Be your wonderful self, it's sexy when a woman has confidence in herself and can get shit done.
You sound like a rare and fine catch to me! Some people just have fucked up values in life but you seem fucking great so don't sweat it.
Ignore the haters who say shit like "not a girlfriend material because I don't play hard to get" /bleh! A woman plays hard to get and I walk away 100% of the time, no second chances.Don't go by what a few guys say, some guys and men like the sweet, innocent female, other guys and men like a girl or woman who can really grab life by the balls, it just depends on preference. I'm sure you will find the right guy eventually, it takes time for all of us. I'm 32, I have dated girls but it did not pan out the way I envisioned it.
I love straight forward girls because I'm straight forward myself. As far as a the independent thing goes, it depends what you mean. If you mean not having to rely on a man (or anyone for that matter) for every single little thing, then yeah, that's attractive. If you mean "I don't need a man" attitude where you are argumentative, bossy and like you're trying to "be like a man" so-to-speak, then no, that's a turn-off
I prefer women like you to be honest. However, there are many (probably most) guys that want "feminine" women. I wouldn't pretend to be someone you're not as that will only cause problems down the road. The only thing I can suggest is try not to come on strong initially.
I'm not sure how to define "non-traditionally feminine", but I love women with strong will and like a little a little mussel sometimes. I also like the kind of look the girl in that photo she has. She looks hot.
I would want a mostly feminine woman, but not someone like Snow White. lol I want her to be smart and strong willed in addition to pretty and cute, and wouldn't mind her being tough on the side.the more masculine a guy is, the more feminine of a woman he is going to want. the relationship between men and women is like the yin yang. they are meant to compliment one another. if a female, has a lot of masculinity rather than femininity, then she won't attract masculine guys.
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions