Guys do it because of many factors.
They are sex obsessed. Porn-obsessed. And they take that out to the real world and do it to any woman they lust after or find sexually attractive. But the reason for why the sexual harassment starts depends on the person and the one they are harassing.
- If you're physically attractive and your wearing clothes that are sexualized, and or skimpy clothing[ you know what I'm talking about] especially in pornographic material. [I don't really know because I never watch porn]. They will catcall. Especially if your revealing your assets or wear fitting clothes that displays them even covered.
- If your not physically attractive to them, but they are attracted to what your wearing in a lustful manner. They will catcall.
- If you DON'T wear skimpy outfits BUT dress modestly, they may or may not catcall you.
-If your just physically attractive period, and you are covered up anyway. They will still catcall you.
Yes, I have plenty of times growing up, and even in my adult life. I never wear such clothes as I described. I dress modestly and appropriately. But I've been told by plenty that I'm attractive. Their words, not mine. And this is something I always had to think about. The same way you treat others how you want and desired to be treated is the same way you dress how you want others you treat you. This is just something that is socially acceptable in an oversexualized world. That cartoon explains EXACTLY the mess I went through. I never got called a slut because why? I never messed around with a man or ever been touched by a man sexually by free will. I'm a virgin. So they can't say anything that doesn't affect me. But I have been called other names. And men especially want's to know why women have trust issues and self-esteem issues. But then, again, women catcall men too and do the same thing. It's just either less common or under-addressed.
The issue is we can't put the blame on any and everybody like that because we're not there to know the situation. I do believe that women need's to be responsible for what they wear and how they chose to allow themselves to be looked at. But at the same time, men definitely shouldn't be treating women and females like this. Since this topic is pertaining to men.
It happened to me a lot. And I don't dress sexy. People have even followed me for blocks. And I have to make circles until they lose me. Or I make a phone call to someone saying I'm being followed and I describe the guy to a T. Usually that scares them off.
But I've started lying to cat callers cuz it makes it go smoother than ignoring them. for example a guy calls out to me I say 'yeah?' They say I'm cute. I say 'thanks' they call me over to them I say 'sorry I have plans I can't stick around' and they let me go peacefully
Stalking is really a different issue. More serious than catcalling, and I could understand women feeling threatened by it.
its like a desperate farcry of the horndog saying "i'm too ugly, illiterate, impatient, and unsavvy/unsmooth to ever properly seduce a chick, so i can at least have the satisfaction to tell to my male ego, you did it man, you at least expressed how you feel... .". something among these lines.
in other cases its just plain stupidity and misogyny
REAL TALK:
Ok #1 the freedom of speech is everyone's 1st amendment right. So that is not verbal abuse unless they are scream obscene curse words at you. And the word assault means physical not verbal.
#2 you have every right to use your 1st amendment right to reject a guy and he can exercise his 1st amendment right all he wants for getting turned down but that doesn't make you a bad person. HOWEVER!
#3 if you are looking hella good out in public or showing lots of skin cleavage skirts you are ASKING for this behavior!
#4 which should be #1 but if a guy hits on you that hard he is a player normal guys have more respect that this and they want to "earn/win" your affection.
#5 sometimes a normal guy might work up the balls to say something and you have just been unlucky with it.
#6 you have to understand that because most women want to be dominated in the bedroom that guys learn that being dominate works for them. And this is how all kinds of stuff end up happening like public gropings.
#7 how is a man supposed to blame himself when you are dressing to attract men? Bow if this is happening to you when you are dressing conservatively with no skin shown and not excessive makeup then the guys might be out of line but I know you're not dressing that way ladies. Because those ladies get asked out on dated properly. (If you act like a lady you get treated like a lady. and if you act/dress like a slut you will get treated like one) it's the honestly truth. You can exercise your 1st amendment right and disagree with me but that doesn't make me wrong. :D
Cause guys don't get it. (Just look at the other answers in here). Guys need to understand that it is in fact a big deal to girls. A lot of guys would argue "it's not harrassment, I was just complimenting her" or "it's my way of expressing myself". The thing is, harrassment isn't defined by what the 'compliment giver' feels, but the receiver. If girls are telling us to stop, we should just stop. People will argue about freedom of speech, and everyone has their own opinion, blah blah blah. But I think it's more about respect than anything else.
So why do guys catcall? Because guys don't know how it feels, and thus don't know how bad it is for girls.
Opinion
23Opinion
zzzz... you need to chill. Guys that do it aren't even serious its more of a prank then anything. They don't even expect you to even bother, if anything it would be hiliarious if you catcalled them back. They would be dying laughing and think you are cool.
well... girls have done it to me more than once. I had my butt slap by strangers, been catcalled tons of time. Even by 40+ ladies that could be my mom.
Also those guys that actually get mad because you don't do what they want are lame. Thank god they help you dodge that bullet. Also they reason why some of them get say offensive stuff is because you hurt there feelings. They believe you think you are better than them. That you are looking down on them so they want to hurt your feelings as much as you hurt theirs. It doesn't upset me because I know the reason behind it. Its no different then when kids say hurtful things to you after you hurt them. They are kids.
Would you get mad when a kid does it? If not, why do you get mad when they do it?
"and men should know better." Men do know better. I don't catcall. I don't know anyone that does. Ever heard of the vocal minority? Can we stop blaming all men for something only a small minority do? If this is REALLY an issue for you, then telling me to stop doing something I've never done isn't going to change shit.
It's degrading? Really?
It may be crude and annoying, even misogynistic, but if you're letting cat callers make you feel like less of a human being, that's on you. You're an overly sensitive crybaby. Women say fucked up shit to guys all the time, every bit as much as guys do to girls. But only whiny little bitches are crying that they've been somehow dehumanized by the words of a stranger. Grow up. If this is what hurts you now, life is going to kick the shit out of you.
I really think it just depends on the area.
I mean I've been yelled at before when I walked through town. A few racial slurs, but as I got older they were a lot more rare.
Some were just pretty random like someone would say hey stupid or fuk you. And I just make a face and walk off.
I'm pretty sure some of those people were high, drunk, or doped up on something.
Women catcall too. Which kind of weirds me out because I know guys do it just to kind of get a reaction or to mess around with their friends but when women do it it feels very strange. Probably because as a society men do most of the chasing so when a woman is so vocal about what she wants to do to you it's like... yeah...
The guy is at fault. But to some extent it may be the girls fault as well. If a girl dresses too provocatively like showing off her cleavage to an extent that covering doesn't even matter... Then I'd say it's her fault as well. Dress modestly and of course it's the guy's fault. We should respect each other. Girls guys whoever it is, one should have respect others dignity and should always be respectful on their own.
it's rude and really uncalled for. it would be better if they would shut up. but the reality is some people are going to be rude assholes. you can either let them get to you or simply ignore them and move on with your day. tbh I find it more troublesome that some asshole yelling stupid shit in the street is considered harassment. it waters down the word to mean any type of comment that is seen as negative, and that is really problematic.
Depends what you call catcalling. If you're at a club or a bar or a place where people socialize and someone compliments you nicely to try engage a conversation its fine I think. But if someone yells "yo you looking thiccc af sit on my face " then its fucked up.
Why does the image not have any catcalling?
I have no idea why people do it though, shouting anything in public is embarrassing.
Side note: it isn't necessarily harassment as that needs to be repeated (so you would have to be catcalled by the same person several times).
Q: what do you mean by the paradoxical term "verbal assault"?
That IS catcalling.
Harassment is done by anybody. Not always the same person.
Verbal assault is what you see in the picture. Somebody who uses words to hurt you since they won't or can't harm you physically. Just like if somebody hurts your feelings or emotions, its a 'stab' to the chest or heart. Since that is where emotions stem's from and the brain translates it.
People do it because they don't have respect for other people. It gives them an ego boost and a sense of 'power' over you and the situation.
The closest one to catcalling in that is "why don't you smile" which is at least a request though it still isn't calling someone over (which is what catcalling is e. g. "here kitty kitty").
Anyone can harass but harassment still requires repeat interaction (you can't say "person B is harassing me because I asked person A to stop commenting on my looks")
Assault requires physical contact, hence the distinction between sexual harassment and sexual assault.
Again I'm not going to assert why people do it. I'm not arrogant enough to assume the motives of people I don't know.
If you never been catcalled or harrassed when it isn't wanted you're not going to understand it.
One thing that isn't correct is the correct wording. The correct term is verbal abuse, not verbal assault. In truth, there is no such terminology.
"you can't say "person B is harassing me because I asked person A to stop commenting on my looks" Actually you can because you told that person to stop and they still do it. It is still harassment because it's not wanted. Please look up the laws regarding harassment. It is not wanted. Period. And that is what they don't want to understand. And authorities will take it seriously.
Even if it's done once. If that person doesn't feel safe and sense that they will do it again, then that person is taking safety precautions to let them know that they may get into legal trouble if they keep it up. I know because I had to do with somebody who not only harassed me but physically slapped my butt multiple times. He never stopped until I told our teacher. He could have gotten arrested that day and we were only 10 and 9. It's about feeling safe. Not if they did it once or more.
You didn't tell that person to stop you told person A to stop. Person B does not have the knowledge of person A because they are different people. That's how personhood works (your supposed to pick this up by the time you're 3).
Key term "keep it up" also known as repeating the action. Ergo a single comment is not and cannot be harassment otherwise all interaction is harassment (and if everything is harassment then nothing is).
It's definitely not about feeling safe. Feeling safe is your own responsibility otherwise paranoid people (like men who are afraid to talk to people less they get accused of harassment) would be making a killing in lawsuits.
The point of the matter is if you told that person to stop, you did. You don't always have to open up your mouth. You still have to tell somebody if your being harrassed. They don't always need the story. They warn either you or them what to do. And you either take the advice or your going to get arrested. It's just that simple.
"It's definitely not about feeling safe. Feeling safe is your own responsibility otherwise paranoid people (like men who are afraid to talk to people less they get accused of harassment) would be making a killing in lawsuits." No. It is not just a personal responsibility it is a societal responsibility. It has nothing to do with being paranoid. It is about again; Intentions. Why are you approaching the person? And are those intentions valid? I don't want anybody trying to chat me up if they have no intention of being friendly. I could care less if anybody wants to talk to me if they aren't right for me to be around. Guys approach a women out of lust. That's w
why he is getting punished. It has nothing to do because he wants to date. But the fact that he want a sexual relationship with the girl. And that is basically how he treats his romantic relationships as. Girls do the same too. But for somebody who is not looking for that, it becomes harassment. I didn't make the law. If one is paranoid, then it's a personal issue. People with bad and poor intentions get's into trouble. Rarely anybody with good intentions do. Or else, they simple just need to leave that person alone. Men need's to also understand that some girls and now even most just don't want to be bothered. They don't get the picture, and many don't care because they feel entitled to doing whatever they please and then complain about it when it doesn't go their way. If you treat a person with respect, that person is bound to treat you the same way. Now if they treat you nasty afterwards, then it's that's person's problem. Trust me, as a friendly person myself I had my own social
See that is your problem. You figure because I talked about lust being wrong it has to do with religion. It doesn't. It has to do how you chose to treat a person and you want to know why your getting looked at as a creep. It's just wrong. It has nothing to do with who is religious, secular or not. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. And if that person doesn't like certain things, then they have the right to speak up about it.
And it's guys with your attitude is why I wouldn't care if they liked that I spoke to somebody about it or not. Because to me, it tells me you don't give a damn about what that behavior does to me or a person.
Lusting after a person is not respecting them. It's undressing that person with your eyes and you want to know why a woman [ in this case] feels vulnerable and disgusted. Even secular girls and women feel's the same, but don't address it because they're confused about how they should be treated without putting men off. They're not firm in their beliefs and values, and this is why we have a big mess of sexual harassment allegations. Because no boundaries on either party are being addressed and set.
Lust and harassment are not mutually inclusive. And you can feel unsafe in a non sexual way from religious people. Maybe you feel unsafe because they may try brainwashing you. Maybe you have read about witch hunts and the inquisition.
To quote you "I could care less if anybody wants to talk to me if they aren't right for me to be around" if you can apply the rule to sexual advances I can apply it to religious ones. That's the point of rules, they have to apply universally or they are discriminatory. Be careful what rules you make because people like me will weaponise them and use them to torment you.
Funny please don't try that brainwashing nonsense. God is very much real but religion is a man-made construct that God allowed to happen so that he can integrate himself for the world to acknowledge his existence and come to him. That's number one. Number to you don't have the Holy Spirit and you certainly lack Godly principles that's why you don't understand what I'm saying so I can expect that kind of answer from you. You lack understanding because you are worldly and you think less and going out of control sexually is okay. Then when you have relationship issues and you can't connect with women properly you want to know why. What happened to bed from Women to Women whether you're in a relationship dating or not you want to know how come you're so obsessed with the sex that they have but you still can't connect with the woman you claim that you like in love.
The issue with you that you don't see is that I know myself as a woman a lot of these girls and women don't because they haven't been taught to know themselves. They have been taught to be the sexual objects that men of the world crave to have to use. And you have been taught to be a predator of women for the sake of your sexual pleasure because it is pleasing to the rest of the world. They teach that's what makes you a man and it doesn't.
And first of all I can say what I need to say because truth is truth your lustful and you don't give a damn about how a woman feels. I don't have to be careful what I say because I know exactly what I'm saying, and if you want to try to weaponize it then it goes to show how wicked and evil you really are inside. You don't want to hear what anybody has to say because you want to view it however way you want to view it. At the end of the day when you don't get what you want you can't complain. As I said before I have nothing to do with being religious that has to do with life and how you choose to treat people.
And if you're not going to care why should I first of all really care how you think and feel at the end of the day if you're not going to be considerate of others? You want to say how I need to be careful no I think you need to realize what kind of mentality you really have otherwise you're going to destroy the people that you claim you love and having your life. Now if you don't care about that then that's where I can respect you because at least you're being honest but don't pretend with me like you are a genuine guy when I can tell you're not being as genuine as you want to claim.
First of all lust and harassment are mutually inclusive because that's exactly what it is when it's a sexual harassment. Sexual lust is harassment especially when it's not wanted by women who don't want the lust. That's why a lot of women now becoming hoes and gold diggers because they want to be lust after and because they can't hold their values. Because they feel they cannot gain a man without opening up their legs. That is all reality and that is the truth. Right now where I'm at there's two teenage girls that are being harassed buy 1 15 year old boy because he wants to fill them up during class and they don't feel safe now. The teachers have done anything really about it suspend him. That's how serious this is getting out of control. So please don't give me that BS about religion.
What gives you the impression I feel any lust?
Most of that seems like projection from you. I'm not that great at being arrogant so I can't tell you what you are thinking like that but as someone who has been happily celibate for 6 years I can at least tell you you have misjudged (what's the religious phrase "judge not lest yeh be judged"?).
I haven't asked anyone to care how I feel. My feelings are my own I would not selfishly burden anyone else with them. But you can't make not caring a crime (or a lot of mental disorders become criminal).
Think it's just bad upbringing and insecurity. They know they can't have it so what have they got to lose by making you feel like a peice of meat instead.
it's a poor man's way of giving out a compliment
if everyone could just calm the fuck down about it that'd be nice
i did say "poor man's"
but it could have been "hey bitch I wouldn't want you to sit on my face even if you paid me for it". just saying :P
well that'd be nice but he isn't going to
i hate wind. it annoys me. it blows things the wrong way. i hate it more than anything else in the world. its not going to stop just because i hate it though.
Or we could raise our girls to have a little bit more spine and less victimhood. Just sayin'.
there is no god, only nature
In the first place, "verbal assault" is a threat to cause bodily harm. Telling you that you have a nice ass is not assault. Secondly, we cat-call because one out of every 100 times we will get laid.
This is the correct answer. There's a difference between "catcalling is really rude," which it is, and "verbal assault" or menacing, which indeed is a threat of bodily harm and nothing less.
They are not the same. Period.
Don't know, why do women do it? Horny and need to make a statement maybe?
I don’t see any of this in Texas. I’ve lived in all the large cities. Maybe an East Coast thing. In Mexico, it’s a different story.
It's aigit if you don't mind coming off like a dummy. But to say mean shit if they are like no get the fuck outa here. Is really fucked up.
It's a victimless crime but I don't condone or support it. Women can't be blamed for men's behaviour, just because they look hot.
Women also catcall. It's more of a class thing than a gender thing. Also there is usually booze involved.
never catcalled but i have been catcalled. i really didn't care and kept walking.
Women do it just as much too. And because the guy feels "power" and control.
I'd say it depends on the time, place, and relationship you have with a person because some girls seen to like it and some detest it.
Sometimes to be an asshole, sometimes because a girl is hot
should watch dave Chappelle's newest netflix show, he sort of touches on it
I do not at all like it
They think women like it.
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