Why do some men treat pretty women like objects?

Question

A couple of times there has been random guys who treat me like a play piece on a board game. Down right disrespectful. For instance:
- I was standing in line getting food and some guy who always stares at me, but has never spoken to me, was standing in front of me. His friends walked over and stood in line behind me laughing and pushed me toward him while asking him if he had a hard on. And proceed to stand behind me as close as possible, so I couldn't move away.
- In the computer lab one time some guy was with his friend and switched seats just so he could look over my shoulder and spy on me. I was currently finishing a 30pg memoir for my Grandmother and it was really personal and heart wrenching and the two of them just kept on talking and judging it the whole time. And when I finished his friend goes "dude how was it?" and he just laughed and said "It was really corny, but sad dude."
- Another kid that always stares at me once walked by me and purposely bumped into me and I almost fell. So I turned around and said "what the hell" and he just smirked at me and kept walking. 
- Some random guy started playing with my hair one time in line at starbucks, caught my bra and snapped it. 
- One time I was walking and I guess my sunglasses fell out of my back pocket bc the dude behind me picked them up going "hey you dropped these" slide them in my pocket for me while simultaneously squeezing my ass. 

I think one of my biggest problems is I don't know how to stand up for myself and when things like this happen, I just get so awkward and uncomfortable I stay quiet.

johnmspaghetti · Accepted Answer

It's true, men are pretty messed up to women they don't know. I'm not going to make excuses, just try to reason the issue from an outside perspective.

First and foremost ; _not all men_. I know YOU didn't say all men, but I don't want my statements to be applied to all men either.

That being said, some men do what they want when they think there aren't going to be any consequences, or when they aren't afraid of the consequences. This extends to all levels of significance of men (as in, as highly significant as the President or as low as a middle school student). The #metoo movement is a clear example of it. These men (again not all) did these things to these women because they didn't think there'd ever be consequences to what they could do.

That all being said, the good man DOES exist. But it's much less likely to find a good anonymous man than a good man you know or have been acquainted with.

Getting to know a man you're stuck dealing with is one way to prevent him from being a douche to you later, but it isn't much use doing that after it happens - he'll think you like him being a douche to you. Unless you have an opportunity to set him straight not to be a douche to you, but that's least likely, and probably least desirable too

MLGbreezy · Accepted Answer

Okay what you went thriugh was tough and It really sucks that you had to deal with those types of men because they are just disrespectful. I strongly recommend you start to learn to really take a stand in those situations and build up your confidence cause when you don't stand up to those guys its telling them its okay to do it again. And I'm really afraid you'll get into a situation where if a guy forces himself on you then it won't end well. So learn to stand up for yourself and walk with pride so that they know they aren't allowed to touch you with out permission. And agaian I'm sorry you had to go through what you did i hope this helps and good luck.🙂

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hey girl. Those BOYS aren’t genuine and weren’t raised properly. I do think you should say something to them about this. Tell them how you feel about what they have done and tell them that you aren’t going to put up with it. Tell them you will be contacting whoever is needed to be contacted so they are corrected. Their behavior is awful and disgusting.

DONT WASTE YOUR TIME OR HEART OF ANY OF THEM! From experience, save your heart and your body and mind for someone who deserves it. You can date but don’t ever give them the upper hand. Men are awful. Wait for the one who is genuine and loves you. I’m sorry this all happened to you. I’ve had experiences like that too. So degrading. I felt so humiliated. But I’m now 21 and those boys wish they had a chance now.

macdaddy36 · Accepted Answer

Basically in all of these scenarios these guys are just tring to flirt with you, joking around and picking on you is a more imature way of flirting like when a little boy pulls a girls pigtails its because he has a crush. In most situations the person doing this is hoping to get your attention so to spark a conversation and if you ignore it completely or nicely tell them to stop they may interpret it as they need to try harder so maybe work on a death glare that way you won't need to speak for them to know to back off

Hurlyburly · Accepted Answer

These guys you describe do not even deserve to be called men because they are acting like little boys.
You should really learn to stand up for your self and tell them to stop loud enough other people would notice.
And you could also get yourself a fake wedding ring since this can help keeping guys off you as well.

Allie_Oops · Answer

Men do that a lot and it doesn’t change when you get older. My issue is men grabbing me for my attention. They grab my arm, waist, had I guy slide his hand down my side and started massaging the small of my back. But men will swear up and down that women play games or we play hard to get too much. Truthfully, women kind of have to play hard to get or else many more of us would be assaulted or raped. It’s annoying. A lot of men have no shame and bitch when we don’t like their advances.

gene12b · Answer

People who are doing that to you are breaking the law and should be punished. Talk to a professor you trust about this, they can get you resources that will bring this scum justice. Filing claims against these people is how you stand up and fight for yourself in today's world. Be brave.

FlameZee78 · Answer

Hmm... all your problems don’t seem to sound like it’s your fault or the lads I mean it just sounds like there all showing off because they are around their friends. Guys tend to do that my ex was dating me even though it was long distance and when we ended it his friends laughed and took his side thinking I was crazy all because he denied dating me. point is they do this sort of stuff to show off For example I bet you the guy never meant to laugh and think your momir was funny he just did that because his friend was laughing and asking him what he thought of it. YES YOU GOT TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

0112358 · Answer

Some of these were over the line, some were actually just shy guys too nervous to approach you and their friends trying to push them forward.

There's something men seem to do I don't know instinctive or learned, where basically, when one of them is afraid to do something, they taunt the shit out of him, which seems to basically tip the scales to a point where doing it and failing is less embarrassing than putting up with the teasing. So it's actually sort of helpful. The first case was definitely that. They all knew he liked you and were trying to shove him forward, not to harassing you, but to actually like... you know... making a move or something.

Middle three also seemed interested but don't know -how- to approach. Maybe they're cocky assholes, but also it's... easier for young guys to do something dumb and 'funny' then to actually put themselves out there for 'real'.

Last guy by contrast clearly thinks he has game.

Bjorn526 · Answer

not all men treat pretty girls, or girls, like objects, I’m sure other men were in the vicinity when these things occurred
I was raised with 3 sisters, 1 of them, exceptionally & conventionally attractive, to the point her reality was just different than all her peers. Like you, she had all sorts of stories, but she also wasn’t interested in attracting anyone, maybe because she couldn’t, or else it would just negatively impact her, and she could never win, no matter what, girls or boys, it was all too much, so she did the opposite and wore hoodies and sandals to school and no make up, but by doing that, she got respect, she became unattainable sort of, the only way to interact, is if you had substance, in what you said, she learned how to not walk both sides of the track, just one path, she couldn’t dress super hot and flirt, with one guy in a group, then get pissed the other guys flipped her off for not noticing them, there are certain boundaries, you have to commit to

Kaazsz · Answer

Thats some weird shit. The last time I saw anything like that was in high school. The guys girls liked, woul literally grab em by the pussy like trump, or slide their hands up their thighs, reach a finger into the oants to snap on their thongs, grab their boobs.

The girls just let them do it.

Guys that learn esrly on that women allow themselves to be harassed like this, never stop. Because women won't stop them. I dont care what the reason why they dont stop them is, fact is these guys will act like this and won't stop unt women stand up for themselves.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

Some men get down right stupid around attractive women and forget how to function. They either act like a jerk or perv cause they don't know how to communicate with women they are highly attracted to. That's why you get stares and the ride behavior cause a lot men still think acting like a douche will help them score the girl. I would just ignore these people.

Hellllooooo · Answer

1. First guy was probably interested in you? Anyways still weird just staring. His friend was a douche. If he was trying to make the situation less awkward for his friend or something he was definitely going at it wrong.
2. Lack of empathy. Not objectifying.
3. He was just being rude. Not objectifying.
4. That's just creepy wtf.
5. Wow smooth am I right? (Sarcasm)

I think 1,4,5 fits what you are asking personally. 2 and 3 just seems like rudeness or lack of empathy.

Overall I think you should be able to stand up for your self. Yes, the way you are being treated like that is disgusting. Be more assertive and don't let them get away it. Confront. HOWEVER, sometimes what appears to be creepy to you could be misleading. I had some women stare towards me when I was walking alongside them, only to realise I was just going in the same direction when I turned towards my house.
I guess what I want to say is becareful?

Bluedream13 · Answer

without reading, just answering your question, men treat women like objects because they both advertise themselves AS objects and let themselves be used as objects.

The girls who do NOT advertise themselves as objects and don't let themselves be used as objects, well guess what?

THEY ARE NOT USED AS OBJECTS!!! Yes they can be pretty too, they just keep their cleavage under control and dress like a respectable lady, advertising themselves as smarter than a slut right off the bat. Express yourself however you want, it's your freedom, but DO NOT complain who you attract.

Geoff_Feldman · Answer

The men who act like this have something wrong with them.
I think it can stem from a multitude of sources with a single outcome: Insecurity.

I think the ideology of these covetous scumbags usually emphasises power and status over depth or meaning. So they puff themselves up make lots of noise like. babooms pick on and tease and try and strut like they have power or control over others. They see people as a means to an end - rather then seeing them as ends unto themselves.
To see others as objects is to acknowledge that they themselves are merely tools to some end... which is what they become: Tools.

DianaWest · Answer

Because they are ass wipes and think they're the shit, when they are not. Pretty women don't deserve this bullshit, and I certainly don't let men treat me this way. If they dare, i'll tell em to haul their ass out the door and down the street.

Stoner710 · Answer

This is when you need to act like a French women the computer lab you can’t do much about but the rest yea slap the talk loud to embarrass them. Remember if a guy is looking at you just means he thinks your beautiful and can’t take his eyes off you, when It comes to blatant disrespect that’s when you have to acT.

Leo999 · Answer

The simple answer is that some men are immature assholes.

The more important issue here is that you're being sexually harassed and bullied. I hope you report them. Or at least can get some good friends to help protect you. The only thing I can say in defense of any of these men is that the guy who stares at you but never talks to you is probably attracted to you but shy. His friends are scumbags. I wonder if their mothers know how their sons are behaving.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

First, find you a best friends. And dont go anywhere in public places without her... these guys are f***in idoits... they can't talk to you are have the balls to have a conversation, so the next thing is to act like assholes to be able see if you would like that bullshit act. It's a facade. Hiding the cowardice that is within them. Second, if they touch you, you have the authority to say no, or back off. If they dont you can get managers councilor and others involved. Dont let them tell you ratting someone out is bad if they are making you feel uncomfortable. Sorry you have to go through this.. carry a taser, a tape whistle, and some mase... and dont ever pull them out to threaten, if you pull them out actually use it after you gave verbal warnings. Never telegraph what your going to do until you do it. Best way to protect yourself.

TadCurious · Answer

I'm really sorry you and other girls have to experience crap like that. The guys who do that kind of stuff are very insecure and pathetic. They often do that kind of thing (including catcalling) in groups, and they think it makes them look cool in front of their peeps. But it's just pathetic and very weak.

danielgene · Answer

I treat every woman the same I can't stand these guys out here that talk to them with no respect it's down right ridiculous. I'm sorry but I was raised to be with a woman whos heart is beautiful yeah it's great to have a knock out girl by your side. But I know from experience that they only care about there self and have the nasty attitudes. Im single and been for 7 years I never thought in a million years that a woman could hurt a man that bad. Hey we're all beautiful. So I'm starting over and going to try dating again.

Poppykate · Answer

I think you have a real problem sweetheart. Yes, these guys are jerks. No question! But why are you allowing these men into your personal space? 🤔 If a man went to touch my ass unwantingly, I would tell him ‘that I hope he has another one of those because he is about to get it cut off!’. Sweetie, dont allow strange men to touch, grab etc. If they do grab, yell NO! Try practicing with a friend or take self defence classes.

Pizza_lover159 · Answer

Its not about being pretty. You can be ugly as hell ans still this can happen to you because there are so many douches in this world. Go and take some karate class , or boxing , and next time break their bones if they are disrespectful towards you. Next time. Yell. And punch them. That was sexual harassment and Its not acceptable , no matter where you are. If someone tries to do that anymore. Make a scene and make him feel like trash in front of everybody.

Anon-ymous1 · Answer

Testosterone is a hell of a thing and makes people (usually guys) do stupid things sometimes. Aggression isn't always unwanted or rude, but in these cases it is. A lot of guys are desperate and therefore become unconcerned, over time, with the nuances of thinking about other peoples' feelings. Sorry that happened to you. Most dudes aren't like that; we all want sex, and if you're pretty we're going to notice you and possibly stare at you, but we won't take it that far. That's ridiculous.

Kiels01 · Answer

Don't know what any of these instances have to do with being pretty, they all sound like shit that happens to everyone in their life at some point. People in general can just be assholes, not just men. You nailed it yourself, you need to stick up for yourself.

Why do some men treat pretty women like objects?

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