Guys, would you date a dominant woman?

[ZambieMouse]

Not just a woman who's strong, but a woman who's dominant in the relationship. For instance, she's the one who approached you first and asked you out on a date, she expects to make most of the decisions (with your imput of course), she's the one who initiates sex and expects to be in charge during sex (even when she's underneath you, she guides you so she can get exactly what she wants).

Share your reasoning as to why you voted what you did in the opinions!

No

Maybe (if she were the right woman)

I have before and I didn't like it

I have before and I did like it (I'd do it again)

Yes

I'd prefer a woman to be dominant in our relationship

Other/Results

[Adonis_pl]

Yeah, I think I'd be fine with that. Like all that matters is the consistent communication and making decisions together. Like its definitely a turn on when a woman initiates and takes the lead. I don't feel emasculated by the thought, and I'm quite secure where I'm at, so whatever

[mark1290]

Yes. I dated one and loved it. Not all men are supposed to be the dominant one.

[englisc]

No, some men are bitches.

[mark1290]

@englisc What?

[mark1290]

Lol, I’ve found that the more insecure the man is, the more impulsive and oversensitive he’ll be about his masculinity. Not all men are dominant, and that’s not a bad thing. But some think it is

[englisc]

I've found that the more weak and effeminate the man is, the more likely he is to accuse those who aren't of being insecure. It is a bad thing.

[mark1290]

I’ve found that you just made that up because you have nothing else to say. Nice try though man. However, it’s sad that you think that every single man is built to lead and to be dominant. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

[englisc]

No, it's the most common insult effeminate men and feminists use and it's a little backwards.

Why do you think that men are generally bigger and stronger than women? Because we're supposed to lead and to be dominant. It's what we're designed for biologically. People just don't realise that today because they've been brainwashed by feminism and the men have been emasculated.

[mark1290]

Uh no. That’s only physical dominance. Do you know the term “personality” and “temperament” exist? Men don’t all have the same temperament (dominant) and not all women have the submissive trait. That’s just not how it works. It would be ridiculous, you are living with the mindset of a guy in the agricultural era. That was before we understood personality more in-depth.

[englisc]

What makes men and women different is our balance of testosterone and estrogen. Testosterone is linked with higher leveks of strength, aggression, dominance and competitive behaviour. It is also related to fertility. Women are wired to seek men with high testosterone. Studies show that they become much more attracted to men with those traits during ovulation. This is the way we were designed for a reason. If anything I'd say that you're living with a very modern mindset, completely detatched from nature. In fact men today have 20% lower testosterone levels than they did 20 years ago on average. This is why you see more submissive men today. They also have on average 50% lower sperm counts. This is because its unnatural.

[mark1290]

Yep. And do you know that men who insult other men generally have a lower self esteem? More anger issues, higher insecurity, generally less confidence and less open mindedness. That’s you bro.

Your theory might’ve been true when humans depended 100% solely on instincts. Now we don’t do that, we depend on plans, reason, logic. Why then, do so many women upvote this opinion? If you were right, then most women wouldn’t be fighting for independence and they wouldn’t like men who have opinions like me.

[mark1290]

Dominance is physical only. If you’re physically dominant (have muscle) women will naturally find that attractive. But that’s different than having a dominant personality. Plenty of dominant women have partners and they’re happy together. So if that’s true, why would you want to rip apart their happiness? Just because YOU think they shouldn’t be together “Cuz MaLEs ShOuLD aLwAYs be DoMiNant”? Lmfao

[englisc]

I think that those are assumptions. Today we live in a feminised culture where most of our old values have been turned ass-backwards - where weakness is the new strength, where victimhood is the new heroism, where competitiveness is insecurity. Masculinity is viewed as toxic, and as something that only insecure men care about.

Our culture may have changed but our biology hasn't. You keep mentioned that dominance is only physical, but it's also psychological and behavioural. When you look at any poll or study asking women whether they prefer dominant or submissive men, the large majority select dominant men. Many of those women would describe themselves as feminists, the reason they're feminists is because they've been taught that's what they should be, but no amount of social engineering can change their biology.

From what I've seen, couples with a dominant woman usually aren't as happy. Statistically those relationships are more likely to fail.

[mark1290]

Let me see your “statistics” then. Prove it to me.

Also, our culture isn’t feminised. It’s becoming more equal, but lots of people who previously had different roles feel like they’re being wronged. Because they didn’t grow up thinking that way. Our culture has a lot of work to do before it becomes 95% equal (it’ll probably NEVER be 100% equal, since nothing is perfect) but to say that it’s a feminized society? Nope, that’s just a far fetched idea.

Also, mate, personality traits don’t care about which sex you belong to. Whether you’re a man or a woman, you’ll have the personality that comes with you as a mixture of genetics and environment. If I, a man, prefer a more dominant woman, how do you explain that? Because I know plenty, PLENTY of men who prefer a strong minded woman, and don’t mind her taking the lead. Are we somehow “defying” biology? Because if that’s so, it means biology isn’t what 100% determines our behavior. Take a moment for that to sink in.

[englisc]

I don't have the time to go finding them right now, but if you want to look yourself they're out there.

Our culture is feminised. Feminists, as they pushed for equality, began to push for more androgyny between the sexes. You will have heard of the term "toxic masculinity" - many of the behaviours that are considered to be toxic today are natural masculine behaviours. They blame masculinity for almost all of societies ills and aim to stamp it out. A feminist named Christina Hoff Sommers wrote a book called "The War On Boys" where she said exactly the same thing. She criticised her own feminist movement for going too far when it comes to this.

As part of this agenda, they took the old values and flipped them onto their heads. There are many examples here that I don't have the time to go through. But for example - strength. Strength is an important part of masculinity. Now, feminists and weak men make the claim that men who care about strength are insecure (cont...)

[englisc]

And that they're really weak-minded. That their mindset comes from a place of insecurity and fear. This is really nothing more than justifying their own weakness and lack of strength. Who should be more afraid, a physically strong man or a noodle armed, pencil necked weakling? It's a no brainer. But the new "strong" to them isn't real strength, it's people who are ok with being weak. They push a victimhood mindset - victims are the new heroes today. Now if you're a man who think he's a woman and you wear a dress, you're a hero.

I just looked through your previous answers and comments. You mention that women use men, lie to them cheat on them, don't care about them. I think that this has been your experience because this is the way the large majority of women act towards submissive men. I think that you're trying to justify the way you think things should be, not what they actually are.

[mark1290]

As long as you don’t prove any of what you’ve described, that is solely your opinion. My points still stand. If females were naturally NOT dominant, there wouldn’t be fighting for equality, females rising to the top of the economy level, female bosses etc.

If it has been achieved, it is not something we’re fixated to. It would be true if you said “Humans can’t run 10 miles in two seconds, because our legs NATURALLY can’t and won’t let us go that far.” Now THAT would be fixated onto our biology because there’s no way to change it. But the whole dominant argument that you’re portraying is an old agricultural-based argument that was used for many years and has been debunked numerous times by personality psychologist, even evolutionary scientists.

Easily, ask a question here saying “Men: Would you like women to ask you out and take the initiative?”

Try it. Most of them will say YES! And that’s a dominant behavior traditionally held by men.

[mark1290]

People often don’t know how much culture plays a role in our behavior and how we think of dominant women.

www.leadershipcrossroads.com/.../...20Behavior.pdf

scholar.google.com/scholar

[mark1290]

Men: Would you like women to ask YOU out and take initiative? ↗

Made it easier for ya

[englisc]

According to you, maybe, but the stats are out there if you want to look for them. Studies that show that couples where for example if the woman earns above 60% of the total income they're 40% more likely to divorce. Plenty of polls here, easy to find, that show that women generally prefer dominant men. The things I mentioned about testosterone, the effects of testosterone, the things that affect the testosterone levels of men (e. g. "the winning effect", where men experience raises in testosterone after winning some kind of competition, and this in turn affects their competitiveness, aggression, and dominant behaviours afterwards) have all been proven numerous times in numerous studies. I'd have to link way too many studies to prove all of the things I'm saying here, that all inter-link.

You mention agricultural-based arguments - most hunter-gatherer tribes today are also male dominated. Again, those who claim otherwise have an agenda. (cont...)

[mark1290]

I’m not telling you that it’s impossible for women to be attracted to men who are dominant. Of course some of them are, but there are also women who are more dominant than the “typical” male and there are males who aren’t that dominant, and it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s less masculine or more effeminate.

[englisc]

They ignore any evidence that contradicts their agenda. They romanticise the hunter-gather lifestyle, falsely claiming that they are/were egalitarian, and then claim that it was agriculture that caused this inequality. In just the same way that they blame "the patriarchy" for the mistreatment of women, they blame agriculture also. There are usually also many experts who disagree with their findings and find them to be inconsistent, but those who want to believe something to be true tend to ignore this.

Sure, if you ask most men this - men today, who have been raised in a feminised culture, who have low testosterone levels in general - they'll say they prefer women to ask them out. That's just because they don't like rejection, which is understandable. However, ask women the same thing and they'll say the exact same thing.

Culture plays a role of course, but I'm talking about our nature. A culture can believe in things that are completely against our nature, and then it's just wrong

[englisc]

There are women who say that they're dominant, and men who say that they're submissive. It's still unnatural. As I mentioned before, testosterone is what makes a man masculine. So testosterone = masculinity. High testosterone - linked with dominant behaviour. Low testosterone - linked with submissive behaviour. Dominance is masculine behaviour. Submission is effeminate behaviour.

[mark1290]

Yep. That’s the same argument that Christians gave when they were asked how they felt about gays and lesbians. “It’s UNNATURAL! Ughhhh!!!”

Dude. You’re seriously lost. I’m tired of your nonsense now. My point’s been proven, and your arguments are moot

[mark1290]

Oh and. I’m still waiting for those references bro

[mark1290]

You give and keep throwing your so called arguments out there yet you don’t give me some evidence/proof.

[mark1290]

For the record- if it was unnatural I don’t think dominant women would even exist. That’s their own nature, and evolution doesn’t have a goal. We humans made a goal for evolution.

[mark1290]

Thanks for MHO lady. Just proves this guy even more wrong.

[englisc]

It doesn't.

[mark1290]

Sorry bro. It does. And funny how that’s the only thing you reply to. My other points still stand.

[englisc]

I wrote quite a long reply yesterday, but it said that you'd blocked me.

[mark1290]

I know, sorry. I thought you had blocked me but then I checked and I was the one who did it. I wanted to follow you not block you. 😂

Hey but you can try again now

[Chaz269]

You didn't describe a dominant woman, you described a selfish woman. You should reflect on that. Simply replace "her" behavior with "his" and ask yourself if this is typical of a "dominant" man or a selfish man. I'm convinced that the common response will indicate selfish. Dominant men are also inherently protective. So if your premise doesn't include a woman who single-handedly defends her family and home, you've missed the mark entirely. This is also why many women think they're called "bossy" instead of "commanding," "authoritative," or whatever word they imagine people use for men in positions of authority. Men in command don't just give orders, they defend their charges. Women think they can just boss people around without ever establishing rapport, respect, and command. Man or woman, if you don't establish MUTUAL respect, you're just a bossy asshole. If you do, no one is calling you "bossy," except the entitled assholes.
In the end, I would never date the type of asshole you described. But if a true dominant woman ever emerged and showed interest in me, I'd definitely try to get better acquainted. In reality, I don't think there has ever been a true dominant female in the entire history of the human race. Women LOVE to be in charge, but almost none are willing to risk life and limb for others, let alone for a man who should otherwise be considered an equal by modern progressive standards.

[CuriousSin]

Which part, exactly, sounds selfish when replaced with "he" ?

"He's the one who approached you first and asked you out on a date." The norm, not selfish.

"He's the one who initiates sex and expects to be in charge during sex." Again pretty much the societal norm. Even saying "even when he's underneath you, he guides you so he can get exactly what he wants" is pretty typical of most men in bed trying to guide a woman's hips as she rides.

So the only line left is "he expects to make most of the decisions (with your input of course)." Definitely sounds like what a lot of the men on here are commenting. And they don't all seem to care so much about the input part. Without that caveat I can see this being taken as a selfish descriptor, but she specifically addressed the fact that she would listen and consider her partner and not just give orders to give orders. Think of how guys often chose date spots, make reservations, order for their partner. The lady would just take more of the lead.

[CuriousSin]

P. S. Before anyone assumes, I would not label myself a dominate woman myself. It just seemed to me like your comment was more based off preconceived notions than actually replacing she with he and seeing how that sounded. Pretty harsh to label someone an asshole just off what was stated here.

[Chaz269]

I don't know what planet you're pretending to live on, but men are berated for our selfishness in every single one of the situations as described herein, including your personal reinterpretations.
Your decision to ignore that absolutely doesn't invalidate the fact. You're allowed to have your own opinions, but you're not allowed to have your own facts. Grow up, or fuck off. I verily do not care which.

[MrOracle]

No. I'm a dominant, and two dominants just don't work. She wouldn't be attracted to me anyway - the women I attract naturally are submissives, who respond to my "leadership attitude".

I *have* been friends with a couple of girls who were dominants, and had submissive boyfriends - but there's no way I could ever be submissive. That just doesn't compute in my brain. I'd be like Robbie The Robot on overload:

[Sucram]

I don't really care. As long as we get along great and she doesn't just try to overrule me, but takes my opinion into account and is fair, she can be dominant.

I'm not the most dominant person and don't like to push my wishes onto others. I don't mind to make decisions after we talked about a situation, so I might as well be the dominant person in the relationship, but she can be as well, it wouldn't be a problem for me.

[wiseman171]

This question is spicy. I cannot express enough how much I enjoy being with a woman that knows what she likes and what she wants. I think it fits perfectly in a balanced relationship as long as both people in the relationship aren't completely stubborn and won't compromise. As far as completely submissive, all of the time, i could not.

[randyforacumfill]

That and the sexual dishonesty that historically occurs when one or both has loving ltr eyes on the other. They won't risk the promise of "That Great Love" for something that 1/2 to 2/3 of the population will not even admit to knowing about, unless in the club or sexroom with discreet playnames. Get over it, you wouldn't be happy in the long run if you can't be "Pioneers and Explorers" for each other!!

Believe me, after 20-30 years of 10 p. m. mish sex on Saturday night, you'll be ready to jump of of the scale and have a bunch of people "You" didn't like before look at you disgusted..."cause you're old and fat", you realize you should have kept body buffed cause now both sides are gonna need a lot of work if you ever want to enjoy driving it again.

[TerryCrewsHair]

Maybe? I don't really like to dominate, but I can be very stubborn. I'm looking for a relationship where nobody really has to dominate, but if I ever stumble upon a dominant woman who's interested in me I could give it a shot as long as we're on the same wavelength when it comes to topics I deem important. I don't mind being bossed around a little if it's for a good cause.

[Aenetoo]

Hell yes. I'm not a dominant male. I know I look like an alpha male. But I'm not. I need a girl who can take the reins in social situations.
And that applies to sex too. I'm just not a forward kind of guy.

[KaelRhain]

Maybe, why? cause it matters the way she say the things, if she is offensive or cruel, it will encounter resistance, but if she tends to say please, i wouldn't have any problem with it.

[Anonymous]

I am somewhat submissive, so yes. I much prefer to be dominated.

My ex was dominant. I absolutely loved it. She was hesitant to express it at the beginning of the relationship, but by the end of the first date I'd made it clear I was OK with it - by asking if she wanted to tie me down.

Best sex I ever had was in that relationship!

[Logorithim]

It's perfectly fine if she asks me out and initiates sex when she wants it, but the other stuff you mention would make her too domineering and bossy, IMHO.

[4pple]

I don't really mind, I find submissive and shy girls much cuter, but if we get along and we co-operate at the end of the day, I don't see why I wouldn't try it

[1smooth28]

I'd prefer it because I'm indecisive and my aim in the relationship would be to make the girl happy so it would be easier if she let me know how to do that

[ichighost]

One of my longest lasting friend / relationships. From middle school until about last year. On again off again for the most part but we keep reconnecting

[charleml]

Yes, I would, but there comes to a point where it is too much. I'm kind of in that relationship now. She always thinks she's right, never apologizes, wants to control every single part of the relationship. It is very, very aggravating. I'm a laid back person, but lately I have changing my way of doing things to somewhat take back control. I don't need total control, but more than before.

[sawno]

Sexually i would enjoy a dominant girl. Decisions ideally are 50/50. Wouldn't rule it out but she isn't automatically going to get her way.

[16johnhunter]

Yes I'd very much a prefer a dominant woman. I like a dominant woman during sex and in the relationship in general

[ManFrom1982]

I mean, in my case I'm a Dom and that comes with certain emotional needs that a Domme is not going to meet.

[Ranger_04]

Maybe not all the decisions and during sex just help him out with what he asks or does something you definitely like just so that he knows what to do next time and improve in that technique

[up_64]

Dominant, no. Strong (mentally), yes. Why? . because im also a domiant person and dint want my love life to consist of arguments. this doesn't mean she can't object to thinga but i do t want her to moan about little irrelevant things

[englisc]

No thanks. The only guys who like that in my opinion are weak, effeminate men.

[englisc]

@mark1290

If you're so sure that your argument is correct, why did you block me from responding further?

[SngBirdy]

Like, seriously, actually, dominant? No i dont think so.
I dont have against a woman who playfully challenges me though.