Why do men tip better than women?

[oOsecret_starlandsOo]

This was sparked by a question about who pays on a date.

Im a waitress, and compare tips from male and female customers - men tip on average about 25-70% on their bills. Women tip 5%-20% on their bills.

All male parties are preferred by most staff, or comments are made, "I hope the guy gets the bill -" not to be sexist, but I feel women are more picky and have strange standards / judgements in dining. (in everything lol.)

An example is speed of service - women are less patient and leave the most reviews about service speed, even though the night is busy.

Fights have literally started at tables, due to the boyfriend or husband, telling his wife / girlfriend / sister / mom / aunt etc - to chill out.

Or,

These men apologize on behalf of their overly demanding / picky counterparts, or tell them to quit being picky or difficult. Guys have even silenced them and ordered for them, to not give the server a hard time.

Its really appreciated honestly. EVERY server DREADS that woman, and they really take a lot of time away from other patrons, as well as make our jobs more stressful.

Men do not cry about hair in their food, or a steak cooked slightly more or less, or little mistakes. Then even if their meal is totally screwed up, by a new server or something, they still leave a good tip.

Women stiff the most, but ask for SO. DAMN. MUCH. Even tip poorly after being pleased that their 20x modified order comes out perfect.

Why?

Updates

+1 y

Holy fuck I can't read all these answers.

To sum it up -

Men tip more due to the nature and nurture instinct and expectation to be economically apt; women tip less due to nature and nurture pertaining to what is advantageous to provisions for herself and brood.

Women will tip more, however, if they feel an emotional or subconcious connection with their server.

Thanks!

[MrOracle]

Waiting tables is not an easy job - but lots of men have worked demanding jobs and they often understand how hard those jobs are. And even though waiting tables is a job that is equally or even mostly done by women today, there are still lots of women who have never done that kind of work and don't realize what goes into it, and so they don't appreciate it as much.

For example: when I was 16, I got a job at Burger King. The women who worked there were all assigned to the front counter - they took orders, ran the register, and handed out food orders. The men did all of the more physically demanding or dangerous jobs - cooking, heavy cleaning, stocking, hooking up soda syrup or CO2 tanks, etc. The girls went home clean, while the guys went home sweaty and greasy.

Not every place is like that - my niece works at In-and-Out Burger and EVERYONE there busts their ass and does the hard work - but it's common for women to be given the easier jobs and many take it for granted.

[MrOracle]

Another point - I used to wait tables in 3 different restaurants, including one year when I lived on the coast and worked in a place right on the water.

. Men almost always tipped better, and I'm a guy, so it's not like I'm flirting or wearing a low-cut top. We had about half men and half women servers and men tipped better across the board.

The girls hated getting tables of women because they were picky and stingy, but the worst was women who came in with young children - the kids would make an epic mess and the women would leave $1 on a $40-50 bill after taking the table for 2+ hours.

We occasionally had a male customer who was an asshole who was already complaining as he was being seated or whatever, but that was the exception. We also had a few women who were great tippers and easy to work with - but, again, the exception.

[loveslongnails]

Something in your post caught me. If a meal is TOTALLY screwed up, it's rarely the servers fault if you're talking about the condition of the food. If the server has no power to say "that's NOT how it was ordered, I'm not serving it that way", then they are stuck. The customer SHOULD bitch and get the food as they want it, but they shouldn't take it out on the server. I agree men are better tippers, except if you're a waitress and you're eating out. They're great tippers.

[oOsecret_starlandsOo]

Good point. You really have to fuck up as a server to get a bad tip - I mean forgetting orders is of course #1 or making guests feel unwelcomed, a burden, or generally uncomfy.

[loveslongnails]

Pretty much, but some people just don't believe in tipping well and try and shift the burden to the restaurant owner by rationalizing that if you paid them a "living wage", WE wouldn't have to tip. Well, fine then.. increase all restaurant prices by 20% and have a no tipping policy and let it get TAXED to high heaven? I think not.

[Anonymous]

Women are very selfish when it comes to money, we prefer to spend our money on ourselves. It's a theme in most couple where women believe their husband's money is shared money while the womans money is hers.
I work as a waitress and women give me awful tips espicially women my age and women aged 20-35. I think it's because I'm thin, pretty and have fairly large breasts which also may be why guys give me such large tips in the restaurant and bar I work in. My sister who works in the same place complains i get better tips because i have bigger boobs lol.

[Iamagoodguy]

This is exactly it and there’s even been studies showing that bigger boobs = better tips from men

[Opinion Owner]

@Iamagoodguy Agreed. I think there's also been studies showing that women on job interview panels are less likely to hire a woman thats very attractive regardless of qualification or experience.

[311WasAnInsideJam]

I, by my own nature, tip a minimum of 25%.

And I always round up.

But my mom used to work for tips almost my entire childhood, and even when money was tight I watched her tip generously because "working for tips is awful"

[oOsecret_starlandsOo]

Ya know, thats a point, because the women who do tip a lot, often mention something about being a server themselves, or appreciating the effort put in

[sugarchateau]

I've seen both genders complain about minor things and they have totally dipped on a table just to avoid paying for anything even after eating all their food.
It's a personality type- not a gender thing.

Personally, I've sweet talked my lady counterparts into tipping a little more. Whether they required more help/service at their table, weren't happy with something, wanted to discuss and connect, etc. The ladies have been very giving, especially when I have shown extra care, attentiveness and communicate solutions to meet their needs. Sometimes the woman just do tip more because they are able.

I don't mind college students tipping cheaper- I understand and I do the same, so have many college male students. (but in the case of a date, guys do tend to impress and pay more). But I wouldn't complain about it. Because, again, as a college student I have covered a whole bill and still was able to tip 20%. Sometimes people can sometimes people can't. People are more inspired to do more for people who they connect with.

With men, typically older gentlemen, i've been tipped more for being a pretty smile and sweetheart that was in the right place at the right time helping just enough. I've had men just be completely annoyed with themselves, their experience and not give a darn toot who is suffering because they are grumpy and because they decide they are not going to be giving- after making the whole staff suffer.

It just depends on the time and the place for most things. I gave up on trying to compare or dwell on things that didn't serve me, we've got better things to do

[Ellie-V]

In a restaurant of any kind, it is your job to kiss some ass. And yeah women in general absolutely, 100% take advantage of this because they can. In my opinion women do this because most of us are conditioned by society to be the people who get served. The dudes are conditioned to do the serving. So of course women will feel more entitled to quality service than men. It may not be right, but that is the reality we live in unfortunately.

Also, Some random persons hair in your food is disgusting. Plain and simple. Under/Overcooked food is not what the customer is paying for. Plain and simple.
Why men feel less inclined to be particular about the food they enter their bodies? I do not know. Maybe they have lower expectations. Maybe they are just grateful to eat SOMETHING. And, that is very admirable to be perfectly honest. But in my opinion, guys typically have that humble mindset because they put themselves in the position where they have to tolerate bs... such as working the dirty jobs and going out of their way to pay for every meal.

We could sit here and argue that women are the ones demanding these things out of men, but that is not true (again, in my opinion).

Guys in general want so desperately to do the absolute most for the slightest bit of female attention. The females don’t typically ask for this outright, but they don’t object to it either. We simply allow it to happen because we like attention.

So why would it be any different when it comes to tipping? The guy tolerates the most, pays the most, and then 9 times out ten tries for the “reward” of sex or just a little physical affection (like a kiss).

All of it is completely unnecessary and unfair on both parts of men and women. There is always an imbalance. Too much or too little expectation. Too much or too little effort.

That is all☺️

[TarrAva]

The way you put makes me be ashamed to be a woman if many of us behave like the way you say. I would like to apologize on behalf of those women that do act like that. I know this will cost me a few nasty comments but my hide is thick and I gladly accept the punishment.

As for the tip, my assumption is that men tend to earn more money and thus leave a better tip. I also suspect that because you are a lady, the would look as if they are generous. I do not know if they tip so generously when waiters bring the bill. Also, how do ladies tip when paying a waiter rather than a waitress?

You must be very pretty, even beautiful to get such treats and perhaps women are jealous of you. That is maybe a reason why they bitch about everything as you state.

It must be really an awful meal for me to complain because I know that all those involved from washing the dishes, to cooking, to waiting and to cash in do a hell of a good job for the wage they receive.

I think everybody in his/her life should do a month waiting and see how it feels to be told off by the boss, to be shouted at and insulted by the clients. There would be more understanding for the hard labor and low wage.

As a matter of fact, everyone should do a job for a while that they think they can do better than the ones doing it since many years and see how they perform. Lots of people would stop bitching instantly and realize that they are under qualified to do what they consider a menial job.

[Anonymous]

I think a more accurate question and easier to answer would be why do men tip female servers better than male servers? Is it simply because they are female or is it something else/ I think it's a bit of both but mostly something else. Women are more likely to have a smile on their face (even if it's forced) and are more likely to interact with the male customer and make that male customer comfortable. Male servers have a, "I'm here to do a job" look. A male server would have to perform better to get the same results. On the flip side, female customers do the same thing when it comes to male servers but not to the extreme that male customers do. A female customer is more likely to tip a charismatic male server better than a female server. At the end of the day I think it comes down to the amount of dopamine released in our brains when it comes to tipping that causes male customers to tip better than female customers when it comes to female servers and female customers tip better than male customers when it comes to male servers.

[Idonthaveausername]

Yes yes yes yes yes!

I tip standard 20% if service is good, but have tipped as low as 50 cents when the service was bad. I had to ask for a new glass because mine tasted like bleach, but so did the new one she brought over. But I have a guy friend who will tip $20 standard on every meal under $100 whether service is good or not. He makes more money and always tips women more (even though he thinks he doesn't)

Women are more picky about service, so we are more likely to give less if service is bad. Men are more likely to care only about the food and to tip women more, especially at restaurants like Hooters where they go specifically to tip women well who represent a certain service industry

[dantetheexplorer]

This is a very interesting question.
I worked as a Line-Cook in a big restaurant for 2 years in Australia. Australia does not have as robust of a tipping culture as the US.
In the restaurant where I worked, tips given to wait staff were gathered in a big collection box, and then split between all members of the wait staff AND the kitchen staff.

I was always in the kitchen, so I didn't actually get the tips. But the young men and women who were on the wait staff did tell me exactly what you said:

That men are far more likely to tip than women. And if they do tip, men are by far more generous than women. I don't remember specifics like %.

The worst tippers were young women. Older women, around 40+ were better tippers (frequency and amount) than women in the 20-35 bracket.

Younger men were just as likely to as older men. Older men however, tipped more. Sometimes a lot more. Doesn't take a genius to figure out why.

And you are right, when it comes to complaints, women, especially the 20-35 age group, were FAR, FAR more likely to raise a fuss compared to men of all categories. If food was returned to the kitchen, it was usually because it was not "suited" to the woman's taste.

And sometimes, their complaints were ridiculous.

Woman: "I can still see the pink."
Chef: "That's what medium means."

Male complainers were usually more along the lines of "I thought I should have gotten a bigger steak..."

As to WHY it's like this, I'll leave that to other folk to comment.

[TheHelleri]

When I go out to eat my aim is simply to fill my belly with minimal effort on my part. You could drop a steak on the ground, pick it up dust it off and present it (all this having occurred right in front of me)... I'll still eat it. I won't tell if you don't. The whole of the value of my experience is the texture, temperature, taste and fulfillment of base need. This is what I'm focused on. I'm not paying much if any attention to anything being said.

In fact incessant talking while I'm eating; Or anything that too greatly distracts me from the task at hand; That will bother me more than any sort of lapse in service. I'm there because I'm hungry and I either don't want to cook myself or don't want to be obliged to comment on all aspects of what I'm eating that someone else cooked for me.

You're helping to cut through the bullshit and get food in my belly within a reasonable time frame. Waiting 20 or 30 minutes for food to arrive with an appetizer in the meantime is fine compared to dinner being an hour away. Then when an hour has passed still 30 minutes away. Then when that time added has elapsed another 20 minutes. The whole time I'm waiting not being allowed to get a snack in the interim. That's what dining at home can be. That's why I'm where you work instead of where I live.

I know she's going to abuse you. I'm grateful for you taking that hit. You've helped greatly to cut through the bullshit and get food in my belly. In the process of which you've had to put up with a lot of bullshit yourself. You deserve every cent of that tip for this being a significantly less stressful experience than it otherwise could be. For you being the focus of spite so I can actually get away with eating with only a few grunts and nods of faux agreement.

[LesterJester]

As a Canadian living in Australia, it's strange to me that nobody tips in Australia and people looked at me odd when I did when I first came here.

Back in Canada, it didn't matter what the meal cost to me. I didn't waste time thinking of % this or % that. The waiter / server did the same job regardless of the price of the food. If the experience was decent or good, I left $5 on the table. Always $5, no more and no less.

If the waiter was a dick or the food was awful or the experience was total crap, I wouldn't tip at all and never come back. That was rare though.

Some may think $5 isn't much, but I don't care. I don't have to tip anything at all. It's not the damn law. I've seen people just leave loose change on the table, usually bout a buck fiddy.

Why do women tip less than men or don't tip at all?

Maybe because it's something most women never had to be conditioned to for so many years due to it being stereotypically the guy's duty to pay for meals. Now women are trying to get some independence and flex their dollars themselves but are suddenly realising, "Oh yeah... The tip. Well I worked hard for my money so that waiter is going to work hard for that tip." or maybe they simply didn't account for the tip and don't want to dig further into their extra money for the night.

I have no idea why there is a difference, honestly. But it doesn't surprise me.

[ShortCircuit]

In my experience, the demographic that tends to produce the most difficult and rude customers are not women in general, but women of about ages 30 - 50, specifically. Young women under 30, especially under 25 tip much better. In fact, they tip so much that because of them, I almost receive the same amount of tips from men and women, despite not receiving any tips from an entire age group of women. Women above 50 still don't tip very often, but at least they mellow out and are more polite. But women below 25 tip like crazy.

For men, almost the opposite is true. I rarely receive a tip from a man under 25. However, a man any age above 25 is more likely to tip than a woman of any age except for the ones under 25.

[passinby]

It is in men's nature to "spread their seed" while it is woman’s nature to build a nest. So men tend to spread it around while women hold back. Men appreciate being served something as fulfilling as a good meal and express it (full stomachs-empty balls-the way is through his stomach and all that) while women critique other women (or others) for their performance. This is deep-rooted nature and I don’t care how the same we are believed to be. You see everything we do, no matter what, traces back to sex and territory.

[passinby]

Also, I have always been guilty of instinctively tipping higher to attractive gals and I have to force myself to try to be fair to a male waiter. It is kind of nice when they fight over getting your table at a regular place. And, yes I tend to oversee screwed up orders. I actually just started eating the wrong order once because I didn’t care, it was fine because it was there and ready. But, back to seed spreading and nest building, these are the fundamental natural undisturbed instincts that goes into who should pay for a date. When a woman argues to pay half or all on a romantic date, these instincts are turned upside down.

[Deydey12345]

Mho !

[RolandCuthbert]

This is perhaps the first time I have seen a lot of women at GaG respond with hurt feelings.

For the vast majority of this nation's history, waiters/waitresses have been women. Historically men have paid for dates. Historically men are used to tipping because we were the ones paying for everything. A lot of women, for all their bluster about feminism, simply do not trust other women and are highly critical of other women. And I have seen women, simply not tip much or even in some cases advise against me tipping as much. In fact, lots of women are sexist against each other.

I found this out the hard way when I was taking my ex to the hospital to the same "Black" woman doctor repeatedly. The doctor did not believe what my ex was complaining about. She thought she was exaggerating about her issues. So a week after our last visit, I had to rush my ex to the emergency room to get proper care, otherwise I would have lost her.

[smg99]

Sometimes it’s cheapening to even say that. Might be because of the pay bracket difference or mentality due to hormones. Women over analyze and men love to be the pride of the pack. Sometimes it’s like a sexual objectification of you. I had a wretched waitress fall over my ex intentionally throwing her blonde hair all over aggressively. I decided my ex then wouldn’t pay the bill but I would and I left $1 to show her she’s a slut n dropped it at my feet. In eastern cultures you touch someone’s feet if you are indebted to whatever scrap you get for the worth presented at our feet. This is also why some women are not enthusiastic about waitresses and tipping them, flirting actively with their husbands.

[aicarg]

It all depends on the setting/food quality/service I'm getting from my dining experience.

If I'm eating at a grimy fast food place like a diner/pizza place/getting dimsum ar Chinatown, I'll tip 10-15%.

If I'm at like a corparate/business chain restaurant (Montanna's, Boston Pizza/Moxie's/Jack Astors...) I'll tip 20-25%

If I'm at a fine dining/more upscale resturant, like one with a buisness/formal dress code - I'll tip 35-40% If it's a friend's resturant or I know the sous/head chef, I'll tip well, plus bring local craft beers for the kitchen line.

[LegendarySir]

A high tip shows you have money to spare, and that shows power. Men tend to like to show they have power more than women, so that's a possibility to why men tend to tip more.
Women are also more used to receiving a good treatment by others, and to be served by others, while men aren't. So when receiving a good service at a restaurant, more women may see this as normal, while a man may see it as an exceptional service, since they're not used to that by strangers, making them tip more. This may also be a possibility to why men tend to tip more.

[Anonymous]

I remember going out to a restaurant and we were halfway through our meal and one of our waitresses tables dinned and dashed on a $175 tab.

She was literally sobbing because she was so worried her boss would make her pay for it out of her own pocket.

When it came time to pay I asked to speak to her manager and I offered to pay for the ditches table and ours. I ended up leaving a $200 tip out of a $300 tab.

What makes it feel even better was that she had prom in a month and she was actually able to buy her prom dress that she wanted that she was saving all her paychecks and tips for. She was so happy.

I always tip well. Even if the service is bad. I also know what it's like being in their shoes.

[dosiax]

Did u get her number?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes.

[Kit_Kat88]

Lol did you get a date out of it?

[Opinion Owner]

I did get a date out of it. :)

[Kit_Kat88]

How about sex?

[Opinion Owner]

No sex. She was 17 I was 21...

[Kit_Kat88]

That’s still nice of you to do for her ☺️

[Opinion Owner]

I know she appreciated it. She even had me go dress shopping with her.

[Kit_Kat88]

Awww that’s cute!

[Opinion Owner]

Yes. :)

[Anonymous]

It could also be where you live and the what place you work at. Let’s now forget that we still don’t have equal pay.

I’ve worked as a server before, and gender didn’t really ever matter when it came to tipping. It was mostly age. People that were around 30 to 50 generally left a good tip. Generally. Young adults, did not. Nor did elderly.

I am a female in my 20s, but a lot of things go into account when I tip. My parents have always given generous tip, so part of it is a learned behavior. But I was also a waitress. So I know not to get mad at my server if my food is wrong. To be fair, I RARELY ever send back food. And I also know that here in the states, they only get paid 2.13/hr.

[FakeName123]

As people already here pointed out. It's a mix of things.

1. Lack of empathy for the hardships of the job.
2. Self-entitlement.
3. Women biologically are the ones who "receive" things. Add to it todays rise in narcissim and you have quite a nasty combination.
4. Poorly raised.

[princessfromjupiter]

I’m a bartender and I disagree.
While I do get more tips from men (probably a big attraction factor in there) they also tend to be the rudest customers, complaining about petty stuff like “it’s too hot/busy/loud” or “the beer doesn’t taste right” when it’s a standard beer from the tap, annoying me with irrelevant questions about where I’m from and what I do here when they hear my accent when I speak Dutch or straight out interrupting while I’m talking to/serving other customers.

[princessfromjupiter]

Lmao busting your bubble?

[esotericstory]

What kind of an accent do you have?

[princessfromjupiter]

@esotericstory French according to these men

[princessfromjupiter]

It should fucking matter

[princessfromjupiter]

*shouldN’T

[esotericstory]

Oh okay.

[oOsecret_starlandsOo]

Oh gaaawd bartending... the guests you get are a different breed altogether. I feel like bar guests tip more for the atmosphere and entertainment aspect.

Quieter bartenders get tipped less than outgoing ones

[Kurαȷ]

Because you are a woman.
The whole tipping culture is built upon the fact that men are going to be attracted to you.

Both because of their dick as well as their insecurity that is telling them to give you a good tip "because that is what real men do".

[Anonymous]

Isn’t it obvious? Women are the ones cheap, complex as hell and have a stick up their ass. Men are easy going. Relaxed. Chill about things. I work in the industry and the only tables that complained were women, who for some reason, wanted me to lick their shoes. I had a table of four girls be catty and demanded I bring them things. I had a table with a woman that called the owner of the restaurant to tell him I’m terrible because I forgot to put her free bread on the table lol. Women are absurd.

[Anonymous]

I suppose I agree with that. It seems like the women I go out with range wildly with their tip. My ex would happily only tip 5%, but has also happily tipped 100% (in fact it was her goal to do so at least once a year). Me? fck it. 15-20% no matter what. You gotta REALLY piss me off to get lower than 15%, and to get higher? Well honestly the only thing you can do is leave something off my check and I feel bad for you because its probably gonna come out of your tips at the end of the night. I would never tip 100%. So maybe there is something to that emotional connection thing.