My boyfriend doesn't want to watch the birth?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend doesn't want to be in the delivery room when our baby is born.

I really want him to be there, but I don't know how to change his mind.

He says he doesn't want to see 'all the stuff that comes out with the baby.'

What can I do?

Updates

+1 y

i think people are reading my question wrong when i say watch the birth i mean in the delivery room so my boyfriend does not want to be in the delivery room

Updates

+1 y

just letting people know my baby girl is here and yes he was in the room hell he even held a leg at one point lol

[CindersFire]

Well I guess it depends on why it was important to you. Because he likely doesn't want to be there cause he doesn't want to see you in extreme agony literally tearing yourself apart while being completely helpless and unable to ease your suffering. However if you really want him there my suggestion would be to sit him down look him in the eye and say something along the lines of, "look I know we have talked about the a lot so this is the last time I'll bring it up. I'm scared shirtless about having this baby I've heard horror stories and about complications other people have had and I'm terrified. And that's why I want you there. I don't give a damn if you watch our child come into the room. When the time comes all I want is for you to hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be okay, to tell me in beautiful, and that you love me. In fact I would prefer if you never broke eye contact with me. But I understand if you don't want to be there and I promise I'll try to not to bring it up again but I'd really love for you to be there to support me."

[Asker]

that is 100% why i want him there

[CindersFire]

Than tell him so and if he truly cares about you he will put your comfort above his own as any good man will.

[CindersFire]

Congratulations

[Boromir]

I watched my babies being born. Tell him he's missing out a life-time. Tell him you give him the opportunity to become a man in stead of a boy by fathering kids. If he's man enough to put his dick inside you to make you pregnant he should also be man enough to see them being born to you.

[Asker]

we planned our baby girl so he knows what he is in for lol and he has been great durring the pregnancy been to all the app's and scans for our pregnancy he even rubs my back when it hurts just the birth he does not want to be at

[Boromir]

I might have sounded a bit harsh in my initial reaction, and I understand that there are men that cannot look at it, but I always find that a bit 'sissy'. That's just my opinion, I think that the most important feedback is that nobody should be forced to watch. I found it a life-changing event to watch my kids being born to the lady I love, I should not judge his 'refusal' but he's missing out. Tell him from one man to another that it's definitely feasible and that he's going to miss out if he doesn't. :-) Cross my fingers and hope all will go fine !

[Asker]

i hope he will be in the room with me and so we meet our little girl togther

[Boromir]

Congratulations!!!

[NicolaD]

Its a decision all men have to consider but being there isn’t as bad as he probably imagines. I just hope he doesn’t regret being there in years to come as there is only one opportunity to be there for the birth of that child. Too many men I know have said “I wished...” - sorry, you had the opportunity and you blew it! And all that doesn’t even scratch the surface of, to my mind, he should do it for your support too!!

[NicolaD]

Just seen your message - many congratulations to all of you - you for being so wonderful and a pat on the head for daddy being a good boy!!

[Asker]

lol yeah i think he was doing it to annoy me lol as when we got to the hospital he was like lets do this honey lol hell he even looked down there as she came out lol and i think he held a leg at one point lol

[NicolaD]

Well he did it and didn’t faint. I’m glad he did it as I’m sure now he’s realised the massive event he would have missed

[Asker]

yeah he was fine lol he even cut the cord too so yeah everything went well

[NicolaD]

Thank you for the MHO. How are the first days going with the little one. xx

[Asker]

your welcome and it is tiring lol

[Poppykate]

I think that when the moment does come, and you are yelling at him to get his ass in there or else... he will man up because he loves you, and wants to support you. He is just scared.

[Asker]

i hope so

[Poppykate]

Did you discuss this before you got pregnant? What was his opinion then? Do you have someone else to support you if he doesn’t come through?

[Asker]

i only want him i would rather be on my own if he won't be in the room

[Asker]

and this baby was planned so we talked a lot about this but he has only said no to being in the room recenly

[nightdrot]

As a guy who has gone through three births with my girlfriend - we've been together for over ten years and don't want to be married - all I can tell you is to pass this along to your boyfriend. He is making a huge mistake.

He will regret to his dying day not seeing his child being born. He is not wrong that it is not an artistic masterpiece - nature is not naturally elegant - but there is oddly nothing more beautiful and it has brought tears to my eyes each time.

First, there is the heroism - and no other word applies - as the woman you love gives you the most beautiful gift you will ever receive. My girlfriend was in labor for 12 hours with our first and yet, in the midst of all that - the pain and discomfort - she looked at me and she smiled and told me she loved me.

SHE LOVED ME!! What did I do to deserve that? How could I ever repay her for all the love she has shown me. There she was in pain and yet she told me she loved me. There has been, in my life, never been a moment that meant as much or that taught me what love was.

For all that I thought I knew about life and for all that I thought I had known loved, at that moment I realized what true love was and how it had been lucky enough to find me in this beautiful woman who was doing this for me. There will be nothing like it in his life and in that moment the messy side of birth won't matter a wit.

Then there is that moment when your child is born. He won't know why but when he sees this sqwaking, crying little bundle, and when they finally put it in his arms - mom does get first dibs on that - the only thing he'll be thinking is, "Hey little person, I don't even know you and already I know that I would throw myself in front of a bus to protect you."

This little person - this little gift born of the love that he shares with you - will be all that matters. The rest, I promise, he won't notice.

All I can offer to him is that he should not let pass a moment unlike any other in his life. He will wonder what he is doing and why he is there - and then in the next moment he'll wonder why he ever considered skipping out on it.

Tell him not to do something that he will never be able to undo. Even if you two have more children and he decides to be with you for the other births, there is nothing like that moment when the first child you fathered is born. There will be nothing like it and he would be - not to be too harsh - a fool to let that moment pass.

My children are now, 9,8 and 5 - boy, boy, girl - and they and my girlfriend are the whole center of my universe. As long as they are in my life, I know I can get through the worst things that life can throw my way. Your baby will be that for him, too. However, because he has not been there yet, he can't recognize it.

So tell him from the guy who has been there, it will change him as a man and he will be a better person if he is there to see his baby at that first moment. You can't force him if he does not want to be there, but he needs to know that he will never be able to un-ring the bell.

Skip that moment, and he will be a lesser man for it. Worse still, he'll never know how much less the man, nor will he know what he could have been.

[Asker]

awww that made me cry and congrats on having your children lol know 9 years to late lol but i just do not get why he would want to miss the birth of our little girl i mean we planned this baby im 24 he is 25 this is a first baby for us both so why miss it i mean there are men out there who are banned from being in the delivery room for some reason or another mostly cuz the women does not want them there but here i am begging my boyfriend to be there does he not see how lucky he is as yes i truly love him with my whole heart and want to die of old age next to him like i know he feels the same about me so why is he making me do this on my own

[nightdrot]

Well, partly he does not want to be there because some guys - although they don't like to admit it - have trouble with "mess" and seeing someone they love being in pain. It is not a character flaw except insofar as he is putting his fears above your wishes.

Moreover, he is being this way because he has nothing to compare it to. To him, he will have a baby and the interim step to get there seems just that - a step to the baby he wants. He has no way of knowing what he will be missing because he has not experienced it.

That was my point to you and what you should pass on to him. I can tell you, it will almost certainly change him in ways that he will not even grasp until later. It will make him a better man to see the two most important people in his life - you and his baby - at their most vulnerable moment.

It will make him realize what you have done for him and he will be a better man for his sense of gratitude. It will make him stronger because he will feel this overwhelming urge to protect you and his baby, and that will give him a sense of courage he never knew he had.

Really, trying to explain that to him - unless and until he experiences it - will be like trying to explain the color blue to a blind man. There is simply no way so all you can do - if you like - is pass on what I have said.

Then, also, tell him what it means to you for him to be there. Appeal to what is best in him. Tell him that you NEED him. Don't just tell him that you want him there, but that you don't want to be alone and need to feel him near you.

Make it about him doing something for you. Beyond that, without knowing him, there is little that I can offer. I hope that he changes his mind and I can promise him that he will never regret anything more in his life than if he misses the moment that the life he helped to make is born.

[Asker]

i will show him this message ok plus the birth is very soon as i am 35 weeks
i will say he has gone to almost every appointment with me and seen every scan so there is that

[nightdrot]

Well, congratulations to both of you - and best wishes for a happy healthy baby. As to the rest, I am sure that your boyfriend is not a bad guy. This is more about him not realizing how important it is to you that he be there and also that he does not realize what it will mean to him in the moment or - as I do now - as he looks down memory lane.

All I can say is that it was some of the most beautiful moments in my life. I am a better man for having been there and I have to admit, the first baby was something special.

Again, best wishes to you both.

[Asker]

thank you for the congrats i will let you know how it all went ok and if he was there or not

hopeing he is there

[nightdrot]

Why thank you, I'll be looking forward to that. Although, as that is quite a personal matter I will not mind if you just tell me that you have a happy little girl. That is all that I have a right to know and, in the end, the thing that matters most.

[Asker]

i could pm you ok

[nightdrot]

Sure, that would be fine. However, as this involved your boyfriend and since you want him to respect your wishes, you might see if he would object. That said, I am happy for you both and would love to hear from you.

[Asker]

i cannot pm you anyway you have to be follwoing me for me to pm you so

[nightdrot]

Will "follow" you shortly. However, as I say, your boyfriend matters most, so don't feel obliged.

[Wally48]

You really need to have him in the delivery room; push him hard to be there. For guys it's all theoretical until you squeeze the little one out. And it's understandable. He didn't get morning sickness, backaches or have his body balloon. But when the doctor pulls the little girl out, wraps her and places her in your boyfriend's arms, something emotionally heavy happens. He'll realize he made that baby, he owns it, and he's responsible for it.

[PressOn]

I was in the same spot as your boyfriend so many years ago. My wife wanted me in w/ her at our son's birth but I was uncomfortable w/ the idea. I can't stand when blood is spilt in relation to a bad accident, so I was excused from the expierence. But that wasn't the source of my dissent. It really amounted to such a vivid display of such personal & private matters concerning a female. Over our 24 years of marriage we have shared so much intimately that if such a situation was to happen now, I would insist to be with her. I think you need to reaffirm how much you want to share with him. You need to be vivid what he might experience & this is what couples share together. You need to look deep in his eyes & let him know it comes from your heart that you want to share such a personal thing with him.

[PressOn]

I shared my experience with hesitation because I believe your experience should be with someone that is committed through marriage. I hope that you will marry someday soon. I think that is where your heart is.

[Asker]

we do very much plan to marry each other but i would think our girls birth would be personal for him too as you know she is his baby too

[PressOn]

So happy he was there for you 🤗

[Asker]

thanks i think he was doing it to annoy me lol as when we got to the hospital he was like lets do this honey lol hell he even looked down there as she came out lol and i think he held a leg at one point lol

[spartan55]

Wtf is wrong with your bf?
I get not wanting to see the baby pop out with all the mess etc. But there is no reason he can't be in the room. It's not like you are giving birth in a janitor's closet, birth suites are typically very spacious and comfortable, so he wouldn't have to look when the birth actually started.
What about all the hours you could be in labor? He won't even be there for that. My ex was I was labor for 15 hours with our son. Our day started at 5am when she was induced. Junior decided to pop out at 8:15 pm.
Your boyfriend is being a selfish prick, I have no respect for guys like that.

[nonratracereality]

You have to suck it up because all of these qualities were present while you are together. You didn't push the buttons necessary to show that a person will be there on all counts not just the ones they want to deal with. This will manifest as time goes on because that initial moment when birth happens and they're not there will leave a serious mental emotional human spiritual void. Decide if this person is all you want and not what you think you want now. This us your life the more serious you are the more evident without incorporating excuses to make up for the insecurity incompetence or immaturity.

[Asker]

he is great in every other way

[DamnSam]

Nah... he had the balls to jizz in you which produced a new life, now he should have these balls and stay on the side of his girlfriend in these hard hours... if he does not, he is just a pussy
Plus, who will be there for the bonding if you can't in the first moments

I know what im talking about... I was there, close to nervous breakdown, needed little breaks to throw up and drink some water and did the bonding after my daugther arrived... and I slept lesser than 12 hours in the first entire week

But I need to say there could be another thing why he tries to refuse... there are entire generations where the father wasn't there, so they dont know how to act and often acting like their own father (being not there)... but our generations need to cross that line for a better life and a better world...

[chimeara]

It is both a beautiful experience and a very traumatic experience. If would be great if you two were on the same page but I think you aught to seek the help of a douala to help you in the absence of your boyfriend and just accept your boyfriends fears. He likely wants to still be there for you just that part is too much. Have him wait in the family room while momma does all the heavy lifting on this one.

[chimeara]

Congrats!!!

[MrConceptkitten]

I can understand how he may feel woozy seeing something like that *If that is the reason* but sometimes you gotta man up for opportunities like this because they are special moments that you don’t get to experience too much in life.
It’s something that isn’t looked down upon by looking back in the past and replaying that great moment of seeing what you created.

[Wonderer89]

He can just stay away from the business end? He doesn’t have to see anything if he stays near your head and holds your hand. My husband didn’t see anything except the gunky troll looking baby with the cord attached and that was it.
Given what you have to do it seems pretty weak to not come in and support you

[Wonderer89]

Congratulations! Glad he was supportive for you

[Asker]

thanks and lol yeah i think he was doing it to annoy me lol as when we got to the hospital he was like lets do this honey lol hell he even looked down there as she came out lol and i think he held a leg at one point lol

[Anonymous]

Just prick a (clean) needle in his hand or somewhere on his body.

Ask him if I hurt.

And tell him that he's not going to feel the pain that you're going to feel during your delivery.
Tell him how you really want him to be there.

Tell him how much better it would feel and how much difference will it make if.. and only if he was there with you..

Tell him that if he doesn't to see the blood, then he can at least be there to caress you.

Tell him that you're mentally ready to go through it alone.

[Opinion Owner]

Tell him that you're scared. Give him some pain using a needle again.

[jasco]

I dont think there is anything wrong with that and I zonf think u want ur boyfriend to get sick from seeing child birth it is quite disturbing to some plus I think he rather see the bady after wards so he can look at u smile instead of covered in blood

[NineBreaker]

Well, he needs to man up, and go in there. I understand why he feels the way he feels, but he needs to grow a proverbial pair.

Also, FYI, where he'd be standing, all he'll see is the baby being raised up by the doctor. That's it. No blood. No placenta. None of that stuff.

[Nik1hil]

Don't expect him to do something he isn't okay with..
He just might end up..
Not finding you sexual attractive anymore..
If he sees all that stuff..
He will be a good dad..
But he is not a doctor!..
Or is okay with such stuff that medical and human body

[Nik1hil]

See... He loves you soo.. Much that he went through something uncomfortable for your happiness..
Never forget this

[Evil_Chuck]

Same experience. Saw video of woman giving birth, very gross, was NOT okay with it, and do not wish to see it again. I don't blame the guy at all. Difference is, I would have told the girl this back when we were still planning a child, and he should have said it then too. Many fathers in the past were traditionally not in the delivery room at all, and it didn't mean they loved their children any less.

[virginbish]

It kinda did...
Men back then we're very disattached from the family and the kids. We've come a long way with men feeling better about affection and raising kids and changing diapers.
Maybe if more men were in the delivery room, they wouldn't be upset with the mother if she wasn't in the mood for sex for a couple weeks after birth. Maybe he would understand why she wasn't, when his memory serves him right and remembers just how traumatic it was when he was physically there and seeing first hand how much she went through

[Evil_Chuck]

@virginbish I wouldn't need to see it firsthand to know it is excruciating and the woman won't be "in the mood" for quite a while afterwards. In the past, when the guy wasn't in the delivery room, he was talking in the waiting room with other dads who told him what to expect.

[virginbish]

That sounds all well and good, but not everyone can reach that level of understanding without seeing it.
And you yourself have seen a video of it, so it's not like you haven't seen it at all.

Anyway, I just have an issue with guys calling it gross and making it seem like the female is less of a woman now because her 'goods' are damaged.
That's a very unhealthy and harmful way of looking at it, and is in no way true. It's a muscle and nothing that breastfeeding and exercise won't take care of.
Men need to stop making it seem like girls lose their sexual appeal if they have kids, and if men see what child labour is all about.
Maybe it's because society is hyper sexualized now with unrealistic standards of "sexy women" that relationships aren't lasting because no one understand what reality is anymore

[TonyMetal_86]

Too bad, a man should be in the delivery room with his wife and doesn't need to look if he can't resist...

He is his wife's everything, he shall be there to support and make her strong, in the end he's the only person in the room whom she trusts with her life...

Also this baby is his baby too, without him, she wouldn'r be pregnant pr having this baby, so it's so beautiful and i'll never miss it...

Cause my wife and future baby will be my everything.

[Asker]

awww but i want him there but he does not want to be there plus we are not married

[TonyMetal_86]

Don't know why you aren't married but to me i'll never sleep with a girl without marriage...

Anyways don't know why he doesn't want to be in the delivery room... does he truly loves you, i mean does he care about you?

[Q-tipBoy]

I never understood why premarital sex was banned.

I never understood why people are supposed to wait till marriage.

But something always felt wrong.
I wanted to wait.

Now, I know the reason why we are supposed to do these things.

You're on the right track buddy.

Basically, marriage is useless if you do everything before marriage.

And I am saying it because of a less obvious reason.

[Asker]

yeah he does he is great he went to all our app's and scans for this pregnancy hell he rubs my back when it hurts

[CaptainSmartass]

It's ultimately his decision as to whether or not he wants to watch. Also, you don't want him to be throwing up at the sight of wall the stuff coming out. Let's face it, giving birth is kinda gross.

Your boyfriend needs to be strong so he can help you in the days immediately after the birth. All you can do is to let him wait outside and give you your privacy.

Simples...

[nathanp97]

My dad ended up throwing up in the delivery room when my mom had my brother. Do you really want that in the room with you?

[Asker]

better than him not being there

[Farawlaa]

If he doesn’t want to be there, he shouldn’t have to. Let him decide for himself, no matter how important this is to you.

You’re both going to have different memories, but his won’t be pleasant.

[sassygirl13]

Some guys can't handle the seen and even passes out.
Try to convince him to be in the room maybe holding your hand but not directly looking might ease the idea.

[princessfromjupiter]

I mean isn’t there a curtain or something like that between your upper and lower half lol I think he could just stay around your upper half and it’d be fine?

[Asker]

not always as some of the vids the women is walking round the room naked and what not plus i want to go all natual so

[princessfromjupiter]

If you don’t want to compromise for his sake then maybe you have to accept him not being right there I suppose

[Asker]

but i need him there to support me

[princessfromjupiter]

Then you need to consider a compromise

[Asker]

how do we compromise as he is in or out there is no middle ground here

[princessfromjupiter]

Yeah unless you do the curtain thing. Which you seem quite opposed to so you might as well let him do his thing and get drunk in a pub while you’re in labor lol

[Asker]

lol i want to be able to move about and what not not lie on my back all the time as i am going all natual for the birth as i hear that is better for baby maybe some gas and air but that is it so if he is in there he will see everything no matter where he stands so

[Gavyn]

Can you honestly blame him, though? As someone with 6 younger sisters, it's a REALLY gross process, even if it is the miracle of life

[Asker]

but i need him there plus she is his child too

[Gavyn]

I know! Tell him that you need him there, and explain why. If he doesn't change his mind, respect his decision.

[Asker]

but i will never forgive him for abandoning me when i need him the most

[Gavyn]

Then dump him.

[Asker]

why should i dumb him

[Gavyn]

1. You can't forgive him.

2. He won't make sacrifices to be there for you when you need him.

[Asker]

yeah true but he is great in everything else he has come to all the appointments and scans with me he rubs my back when it hurts and so on it is just the birth which he dose not want to be at

[Gavyn]

Then don't. You're in an emotional predicament, that's for sure!

[Asker]

i am

[boggboss]

Some people just can't deal with it and simply don't want to be there

[Asker]

but i need him there with me to help me and our baby girl

[boggboss]

If all he would do is pass our he will be more off a issue then help

[Asker]

he could sit in a chair why should he get out of being there when i cannot

[boggboss]

You do understand men being in the room is still a new concept right?

[Asker]

yeah but it has been round for 50 years and it is widly seen as normal nowadays anyway

[boggboss]

What's seen as normal don't mean he can deal with again I know it seems unfair but if he won't go in there is not much you can do

[Asker]

i know but then he would have to wait outside until i am ready for him to come in so he could be waiting up to an hour to see her as i would have to get clean and what not plus there is the bonding hour after birth which only the birth partnar is allowed in for so

[boggboss]

Then explain this too him but I don't see that mattering

[Asker]

so could you wait for up to an hour to see your child after they where born even when you had the chance to be in the room right from the start

[boggboss]

Again it's not that abnormal not wanting to be

[Asker]

it may not be abnormal but still could you wait up to an hour just to see your baby even when you had the chance to be there from the start

[boggboss]

Or he goes in after you pushed it out?

[Asker]

but that would not work as no one is allow in the room right after the birth unless you are a birth partnar or medical staff so cuz he is not one of them he would have to wait for me to get cleaned up and baby will be checked plus the bonding hour too then he would be allowed in which would be about an hours or 2 after the birth so

[boggboss]

Then if he don't want to go in he waits

[Asker]

but i dont get why wait when you can be there from the start

[Asker]

plus i want him to hear her first crys and her first breath with me as a family

[boggboss]

What u want don't matter if he don't want it

[Asker]

yeah i know but i dont get it is all why would you miss the birth of your daughter

[boggboss]

Because he don't want to be in the room for some reason or anotherblol it's that simple

[Asker]

i get that but can i ask would you miss the birth of your daughter if the mother was welcomeing you in the room for the birth

[boggboss]

Blood and gore don't bother me lol I told my girl I'll be in the room might even bring a camera 🤣

[Asker]

hell no i will not allow it to be recored lol

[boggboss]

And that's good for you but again that's a simply indifference between us lol

[boggboss]

Ayyyyyy good on him and congratulations

[Asker]

thanks i think he was doing it to annoy me lol as when we got to the hospital he was like lets do this honey lol hell he even looked down there as she came out lol and i think he held a leg at one point lol

[Lemia]

Some Males find the very thought of something like a baby coming out of the vagina disturbing and there is not a lot you can, See if you can record the birth so if he feel comfortable in the future he can watch it.

[MlleCake]

Time for him to man-up. If he can get a woman pregnant, he can be in the delivery room. Just tell him it's not an option, and then go to preparation classes with him.

[markscott]

He can turn his head whenever he wants to, or be facing toward you, with his back partially toward you vaginal area. He doesn't need to see anything he doesn't want to see.

[markscott]

You can't make him be there. About all you can do, it let him know, in a serious conversation, how much it would mean to you, if he were there.

[FakeSqueezie]

Many guys pass out in the delivery room. It can be hard for them. Don't be harsh with him. Maybe try to discuss it more openly and find a middle ground.

[Lifeisstrangeaf]

To be honest I wouldn't want to be there either, does it mean i dont love the girl and baby? Not at all... ill be outside waiting for the finished product lmao

[Asker]

but i need him there

[Lifeisstrangeaf]

Are there not any other female friends or family that can be there? Why exactly do u need him there?

[Asker]

cuz he is my boyfrined and father to our baby

[Lifeisstrangeaf]

He doesn't want to. You want to. What can I say? I'm going to sound like a prick but your just going to have to women up and get on with it...

I dont really see the big deal tbh i know couples that have done the same. They still love the baby togethor

[LeeKenz]

You wouldn't expect him to make you do something you don't want to do... why make him do something he doesn't want to do

[Asker]

as it is his child i am having

[LeeKenz]

Still... a lot of fathers can't stand it. My cousins husband didn't go in the delivery room and she was fine with it. Their second child came and he was there with her. So it just depends. But still you wouldn't expect him to make you do something you don't want to do right?

[Asker]

but i need him for surpport this is our first baby and i am not ok with him not being in there

[LeeKenz]

Well then tell him you need him but he can stay up by your head.

[Asker]

i have said all that but nope he won't listen to me

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I'm sorry your up against this and all Women wants
their Men in the delivery room when she is going to
give childbirth sorry he is wrong and you need to tell
him so.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I'm glad he was there for you :) :)

[Asker]

yeah i think he was doing it to annoy me lol as when we got to the hospital he was like lets do this lol

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yeah that is good. Congratulations on your newborn and to you and your boyfriend !!!

[Asker]

thanks lol she is a perfect little baby i would kiss her all over if i ever get to hold her again daddy always has her in his arms lol

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Aww that is so sweet :) :)

[Asker]

lol not for me i need my baby time too lol you know lol

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes i know lol

[dontgofalling]

Tell him you really need him there, tell him he'd help you be strong, tell him he needs to see his kid the first time...
Tell him he doesn't have to look in there but he should st least be near her bed holding her hand

[virginbish]

Seriously, I wish more guys got this * face palm *

[AynonOMouse]

Tell him he can be up by your head and he won't have to see that stuff but can still be there for you at the same time. It is a win for both of you that way.

[Angel_Brunch]

maybe tell him that he can be in the room with you but doesn't have to look (he can just face you/the wall)

[Asker]

it is the me being in pain which he does not want to see aswell as he says he would be the reason for that which i think is dumb

[Angel_Brunch]

tell him that its not him that causes the pain and that its just part of the process. Again I recommend that you tell him that he can be in the room but doesn't have to look where he is not comfortable. as long as he is present. otherwise he will regret the moment for the rest of his life.

[Asker]

i know but he won't listen to me at all over this

[Angel_Brunch]

is there a way to find videos or something that might support your argument

[Asker]

there may be but would have too look for them my fear is i go into labor be before i talk him into be there as im 35 weeks already

[Ámayas_20]

Why do you care if he watches the birth? That's the question you should be asking yourself.

[Asker]

i need him for surpport plus it is his baby too

[Ámayas_20]

You'll have other people for support medical staff or another family member/friend if you want someone you're close to, it is his baby so he should have the right to decide if he wants to watch the birth it's really no big deal. If he doesn't want to be in the delivery room it's stupid to force him to come in he won't get anything from it, he can wait outside and come in once the baby has been born.

[Asker]

but then he would not be allow in the room right after the birth as unless you are a birth partnar or medical staff you are not allowed in so cuz he is not one of them he would have to wait for me to get cleaned up and baby will be checked plus the bonding hour too then he would be allowed in which would be about an hour or 2 after the birth so

[Ámayas_20]

Well this is recommended but it's not usually forced with the father, at least it wasn't when I gave birth. Even if it is the cases though as long as he knows that and is okay with that I still don't see why it's a problem, let him do this his way as I'm sure you'll do it yours.

[Asker]

but i wanted to hear her first cry and see her first breath togther as a family you know plus i wanted to have that bonding hour with her and my boyfriend as a family as i just wanted us for the labor and delivery no one else and i do not get why he would wait 1 or 2 hours to see our baby girl when he could have been in the room as a birth partnar so he could be with her 24/7 like me righ from when she was born as i have no problem him seeing anything down there or anything it is all on his side that is the problem and can i ask was your babys dad in the room for delivery

[Ámayas_20]

He wasn't no, the thought made him uncomfortable so I respected that as you should. I can understand why you'd want this but he clearly feels being in the delivery room has more cons than pros. He'll miss the first hour or two even if he isn't allowed in which is unlikely as he is the father. You said it yourself, it's all on his side so you need to respect that as this is just as important and life changing for him as it is for you and he should be allowed to do it his way.

[Asker]

but i read the non birth partnars cannot come in or see the baby until im on the ward or something so that would mean waiting until i have delivered the after birth got cleaned up, baby been checked and had the hour bonding which could take up to 2 hours

[sexphobe]

Get him to wear a blindfold and be in there holding ur hand until the baby’s all cleaned up?

[Asker]

do you really think they will let him wear a blindfold lol

[sexphobe]

can't hurt to try 😌

[Asker]

lol one can hope

[alice55]

I totally understand him watching someone give birth is so gross, personally I feel dizzy just thinking about it ><

[Anonymous]

Nothing. It's his choice.

Your puss is going to be torn apart, bloody as hell, and you're going to poop.

It would be like watching his favourite pub burn to the ground.

[virginbish]

Men that think like this shouldn't be allowed to procreate.
Fuckin' hell, women have to go through so much to give men blood related children. I hate saying this phrase, but it's very much needed here: man the fuck up. her pussy is not a pub, its not a place where you dick around and then leave. It's a fucking organ that takes your shit and gives you more shit to carry your name and be proud of. Have some respect.
You think it's easy to have kids?
You think females aren't scared shitless thinking of it?
And yet men complain that it's gross, and that they can't see the girl the same way again. DAHM RIGHT. She's a mother now, not your whore

[Opinion Owner]

@virginbish You sound like a wonderful sex positive lady. Not.

I don't think you should have kids, but given your attitude to sex and whores, you're probably a spinster for life.

[virginbish]

Proud of it 👌

[Anonymous]

Damn you procreated with a pansy! Call him a pansy and he'll be butt hurt and will end up doing it.

[Asker]

i dont think he is a pansy

[Opinion Owner]

Well he doesn't have to watch. Like the others said, he can just be in the room and look the other way.

[Asker]

but all the birth vids we have watched (first baby ) show the women with her legs wide open and everything can be seen no matter what so i think that scared him off from the idea plus it is the me being in pain which he does not want to see aswell as he says he would be the reason for that which i think is dumb

[Syrian_survivor]

Shoot the baby out IN HIS FACE

Or he wants to run away forever and change his name before the baby even sees him 🤔

[Asker]

we planned this baby lol

[IlyaTheImpaler]

lmao
I think I'd be able to hold your hand without looking at the baby coming out

[Lyndsielee666]

He can stay by your damn head but he will forever regret not seeing his baby being born🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Well after personally see a baby coming out of you be prepared for him to never want to have sex with you again and him finding someone else. It's pretty intence to watch... sure stand by your wife's side but watching is not always advisable

[crazy8000]

You have never thought of that a lot of men get issues with that female's pussy after seeing that or get problems on a sexual level that he never wants you sexual or goes near your pussy?

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Aaand there are girls who say fathers shouldn't have the rights to enter the delivery room. Why would it be a big deal if he chose not to?

[Asker]

as i want him there for support and to see out little girl enter the world plus girl only say that cuz stress can harm the baby but not in my case as i want him there

[Aiko_E_Lara]

So you don't respect his decision. Now you realize it's a big deal if a guy makes their own decision. You ignoring the fact that he's still paying for the child support and hospital bills?

[AaronKrieger]

Why are you assuming she has that belief of "fathers shouldn't have the rights to enter the delivery room" when she hasn't even said anything to assume that? She wants the father of her child there and she just wants the person she loves romantically next to her to support her. It's not a lot to ask and personally I don't get why he wouldn't want to support her in a moment like that. It's something you experience maybe never or only a few times in a lifetime depending on the person.

[Asker]

@AaronKrieger that is 100% it

[Aiko_E_Lara]

I am not assuming she is but i'm just telling the truth that there are a lot of girls like that. Why are you assuming that i'm assuming she is? I'm talking about respecting decisions. Why not?

[AaronKrieger]

That wasn't me assuming you are but going off of what you said, since you clearly said "Now you realize it's a big deal if a guy makes their own decision." This shows that you're assuming she holds that belief when she never brought that topic up, but you did out of nowhere. For example, there are a lot of guys that are conservatives but I'm not going to assume every guy I meet is one, since there a lot of guys that aren't. Also, not all decisions are to be respected since it depends on that decision itself whether it's bad or not.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

You know i can also say the same that it shows that you're assuming that i am assuming because for that reason? That is a shallow thing to say i am assuming things. And i never even said every girls i meet said fathers don't have the rights to be in the delivery room. Can't you see how being recreational you are? And why would it be a bad thing if the father won't be there? This is one of those double standards though. It's ok for the girl to decide if the father don't have the rights to be there with her but he if he decides it's not ok? I'm saying it should be neutral for both. And of course you forgot who's going to be paying for it at the end.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Also yes it is a big deal for her which is true and i just have to point that out because why not? Maybe someday you'll realize that since you're only 15. So i also assume that he's going to be selfish for not being there for her because you said not all decisions are going to be respected. Oh dear.. That's what guys are always called for not doing things their girlfriends want them to do and you probably wonder why there are girls out there who are spoiled who treats their boyfriends like trashes while victimizing themselves. It's because of defenders who don't think widely that encourages them. So it's really easy for you to say until you the double standard and talking about.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Should fathers have the right to be in the delivery room? ↗ And look what we have here. We have a lot girls here say that only if she allows him to but he shouldn't be if she don't want. Of course again you forgot who's paying for it at the end, paying for the child support, going to lose 1/3 of his money, the kid and be in prison they broke up. I'm not saying that she would intend to do that but that is just the risk I'm telling you and you're still saying that fathers shouldn't be respected when they make decisions. White knight detected. Well i'm not surprised because a lot of teens my age were white knights.

[AaronKrieger]

Now how is it shallow for me to say you're assuming things when you did attack her randomly, since you assumed she had certain beliefs about a topic she never mentioned? She simply said how it's bothering her that the father of her own child and her romantic partner won't be there for her in a experience of a life time like that when she should be supported by a person that has that significant of a role in her life. You said to her "So you don't respect his decision. Now you realize it's a big deal if a guy makes their own decision." and "Aaand there are girls who say fathers shouldn't have the rights to enter the delivery room." This shows you assumed she held this belief otherwise you wouldn't have felt the need to say this to someone that never brought that topic up. That isn't me being recreational nor is it even close to the meaning of the word "recreational." Also, the situation isn't a double standard. I don't get how
it's unfair for someone to have to support their significant other during a moment like that. Yes, he likely wants to not be there because it makes him uncomfortable, but really that is him being selfish if he doesn't want to support his mother of his child giving birth and needing all the support she needs when going off of the information that's provided she hasn't done anything bad to him. Thus him being there doesn't harm him in any way.

[AaronKrieger]

Also, for that link you put out of the ninteen people that answers only four people weren't clear on their opinion exactly, so I won't be counting them in it. For example, someone said "My SO, assisted when our daughters were born." and never said her exact opinion in the responses to her comment. So, this leaves fifteen people in total. I counted which people agreed or disagreed on whether a father should have a right to be in the delivery room or not. Out of that fifteen people only five disagreed with fathers having a right, so I don't know what you mean by "We have a lot girls here." Also, if in the end there isn't a garauntee that the father will pay because if the child lives with the father whether he's still with the mother or not
then the father doesn't have to pay for child support. If he had before, but the child moves in then he has to go to court for it to stop. Plus, you said "going to lose 1/3 of his money" which is right and wrong. He is going to lose it but to pay for a birth they both agreed to have and decided as a group. During this as well the mother does pay for it as well unless she was
unemployed the entire time even before the pregnancy then that's the father's fault for dating someone that's unemployed. Finally, I didn't say earlier "fathers shouldn't be respected when they make decisions" but rather instead I said "Also, not all decisions are to be respected since it depends on that decision itself whether it's bad or not." I was using this in a
general sense and I did say it depended on the decision, since making decisions is the same thing as your actions. Hopefully, you agree that not all actions by people in general should be respected; it can be, but it doesn't have to be respected by anyone. This is because not all decisions people make are good, so this doesn't make me a white knight as you called me. A boyfriend doesn't have to constantly hold his girlfriend's hand or always agree with her, but he should support her in situations

[Aiko_E_Lara]

@AaronKrieger Ohh now this is an attack? You can start chilling first before considering this as an "attack" And ofcourse it's wrong to address something these days because of people like you. Want more points of what I said? "Now how is it shallow for me to say you're assuming things when you did attack her" because you started assuming that I attacked her? "Also, the situation isn't a double standard" Like that's how it works. I already proved to you my point of women giving those double standards. How ever you can still see girls saying that "it depends on the mother if she wants him to be in the delivery room" And what you said about "Also, for that link you put out of the ninteen people that answers only four people weren't clear on their opinion exactly, so I won't be counting them in it." And that "1/3" of money I'm talking about, I'm referring to guys in general who got married not her boyfriend as the law says so. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOP793671p0 and the divorce rate is pretty high. So before you assume anything, when did I say "all" in my statement? You're just explaining to me about things you think I don't know as if I'm assuming "all" girls like that also assuming I'm attacking her for just addressing something because my whole point is it shouldn't be a big deal if he don't wanna enter the room just like how some girls say it's not a big deal if he's not suppose to be in the delivery room. Did I even insult her or anything? No? Good luck looking for any personal insults there before you claim that I did.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

@AaronKrieger And I agree long ago that not all action are meant to be respected but that? There are more things he's gonna be facing soon without any choice. In that case that should be against the law then if he's not in the room just like it's against the law for not paying for child support (Because this a real example decision that shouldn't be tolerated).

[Aiko_E_Lara]

And what about those people who call him selfish for that? Yes you're on their side however I have a different opinion. Not the type of person who echoes anyone's opinion to get attention. And I don't have this en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_are_wonderful_effect in me like what majority of people have. (I still kinda do) but I try to treat people equally. Well I feel bad for her because of her boyfriend not being there for her but I feel bad for her boyfriend getting so many hates here from people like you and he still has to pay for the bills and support later because I don't forget men's rights are human rights as well.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Anyways this is what I was meant to say www.urbandictionary.com/define.php

[Aiko_E_Lara]

But if you're really really what i justify that it's ok for girls to force her boyfriend to be in the room then fine. That should also mean guys have the rights to enter the room even if his wife don't like him to be there. Let us see how many girls would like that.

[AaronKrieger]

A better way I could've described was you being aggressive rather than you attacking her. I'll admit that was a mistake on my part, but nevertheless you were being aggressive right away towards her even when she never gave her opinion about the topic, but only going off of the fact she wants her boyfriend to be on the delivery room. The video you sent I watched and the stuff it said in the video has no sources so some of the percentages they gave aren't correct until proven otherwise, but I do agree in some situations there are double standards when it comes to men. Women generally are favored by the system whether we're talking about a mother keeping the child in court or more likely to believed she was abused even if it was the exact opposite with the boyfriend being the victim. Another is that some father's pay an unnecessary amount in child support. So I do agree that in the relationship between men and women that there are some double standards. Anyway, why I call him selfish is because even if he is paying a lot of money why does that mean he can't emotionally support his girlfriend? It doesn't harm him and going off of the information available she hasn't been a bad girlfriend. If she was I could understand him not going. That's my issue with him going off of the information available, but I'd willing to hear his side if I knew him before picking a side or giving an opinion, but I don't know him. Also, I don't support a woman forcing a guy to be into the delivery room or the mother forcing him out.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

And i'm aggressive and calling him selfish isn't aggressive? See where your going? Also yes the video i have sent has no source given but the ratings. The video itself is a source but before you say nobody's gonna be with me, check is a view count and the likes and dislikes ratio. And i'm not depending on that alone. Youtube is a site where common people can reach and make forums about it not some site people barely even reach without any ratings. You say you don't support a girl forcing a guy to be in the delivery room but you still call them selfish for not being there for him. Action speaks louder than words and again decisions. If you're going to say again that decisions are not always meant to be respected then a girl's decision isn't always meant to be respected as well. you know what here's what i have to say if selfish is what do you have to call him. I could say the same thing about her but you know i just chose not to because i know how i would sound. I would sound like a misogynist just like how you sound like a white night for calling i'm selfish for that.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

*Him selfish for that

[AaronKrieger]

You were being aggressive towards her, since you assumed she held a certain belief while she is anonymous and said nothing about that topic where as I called him selfish for doing something selfish. He won't support her because it makes him uncomfortable. Anybody whether a girl or guy should support their friends and family even if it makes them uncomfortable. That's why you calling me a "white knight" makes no sense when I've already explained it before as well along with the expections I've already stated previously. Also, the video itself isn't a creditable source. The like/dislike ratio is based on who agreed or disagreed with the video which is all built on someone's opinion rather than being built on facts. Plus the amount of views it has doesn't decide whether it's an actual source or not.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Oh dear "Aaand there are girls who say fathers shouldn't have the rights to enter the delivery room. Why would it be a big deal if he chose not to?" and where was I assuming in the first place? Was I really pointing directly at her when I said "fathers shouldn't have the rights to be in the delivery room" when i am talking about there are girls who are saying that. That's one of those victim cards you're pulling. And about that white Knight thing. I meant you sound like when i'm not saying you are one. And yes that is for assuming i am assuming things. You know being offended doesn't really prove anything specially if you're being recreationally offended. Yes the likes and dislike ratio are based on who agreed or disagreed which a lot of people agreed no matter if it's an opinion or a fact but the fact there is that many people agreed in that opinion making it a general opinion but if you really want to see a real source, go look for the suicide rate of men which is 3 times higher than women's and that is a factor i showed you. Any source is opinionated for your information it is a matter of how many people agrees with it or not.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

By the way i was just doing exactly what you did. If you're going to assume that i am being aggressive towards her than i actually you're calling him selfish for that. And what if i told you, assuming things is being aggressive with you're doing in the first place.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

So if you're really in denial of the video I sent because it's "opinionated" you say, it's just like any other sources FYI. So what's the difference if that video was in a written form or not? That doesn't really change the idea of the video and here's another reason why people are usually in denial of men. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_are_wonderful_effect <-- now I gave something in a written form which you ordered. Along with this statistics en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_in_the_United_States
And what the vid said it's a global phenomenon
en.wikipedia.org/.../Gender_differences_in_suicide
What about the custody? It is in the child support law. The risk of getting in prison because it is against the law if the father couldn't pay for the child support properly as if looking for a good job is easy.
www.moneycrashers.com/.../
And not to mention how high the divorce rate is
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_demography

All that and still whine about the father not being in the delivery room. He has the rights to make a decision. Why such hate? And you're saying you're not aggressive? Facts don't care about your feelings.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

"Anybody whether a girl or guy should support their friends and family even if it makes them uncomfortable." And you said not all decisions aren't always respected. In that case not every time someone should support someone. And I can already hear "then he don't care about her" yeah right. That straw man fallacy.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

I'm not assuming but I'm saying that just in case you might think or say that.

[lovedejj_xo]

Just ask him to be in the room and focus on you not what the doctor is doing he doesn’t need to look... I don’t see the issue.

[Asker]

but i have said all that but he won't listen to me

[lovedejj_xo]

I think that’s messed up. You laid down to procreate he needs to man up. He has options instead of just not going. Good luck I’d be flipping out.

[Asker]

i am mad at him but i also dont want to reject his feeling on the matter to as i want us to be a team and make choices togther for our pregnancy and baby u know

[lovedejj_xo]

Yes I understand but some things as a team shouldn’t have to be spoken upon. You suck it up. That’s just me though

[Asker]

but i see birth as a team effort you know i do know im doing the one pushing but he should be doing the supporting as we are both bring our baby girl into the world not just me if you know what i mean

[lovedejj_xo]

Yes that’s what I mean! I’m on your side

[Asker]

thank you but how do i get him to see that as he is a great partnar and loving boyfriend who i plan to marry in the future and have more kids with he has been to all our app's and scans plus he even rubs my back when it hurts the birth is the only problem

[intjgamer]

That's a toughy. Movies show a baby coming out clean as a whistle. Real births are very messy. If you do get him to watch he might freak the hell out. Or feint.

[Asker]

lol true moive births are so unrealistic sometimes lol

[Bismarck_96]

If he doesn’t want to watch and cut the cord at least he can sit and face the wall while holding your hand

[ROCKS128]

Why force him?

He dont want to see, its not like he will run away...
He shall be immediately near you after those things end

[larry69]

The father needs to be there period. He helped create the baby now he must watch from below.

[Anonymous]

Leave him alone. What purpose will it serve to have him there?

[Asker]

oh i dont know support me why i give birth to our baby

[Opinion Owner]

You'll have plenty of support, and he'll just be in the way. He'll be there for you the next day, and the next day, and forever, so I'd just let it go.

[DECENTSCOTTISHLAD999]

l would like to watch my girl giving birth to our children

[TonyBologna25]

Tell him to stop being a pussy and watch it lol

[Syrian_survivor]

BRUH THIS

[MJGlee]

I think it's OK for a man to be against it. We have 2 kids and my husband didn't watch either birth.

[Asker]

oh why
dose he not regret not being there

[Anonymous]

You need to respect his wishes to not be in the room. That´s really his decision to make, not yours.

[HazzaStyles]

Not even 25 and planned a girl. Great way to trap a guy

[Asker]

we planned her togther

[HazzaStyles]

Where are you from by the way?

[Asker]

the uk

[WhoDatGuy]

I'd be there but I ain't looking at that.
Do you want him to be put off that area?

[No_Archons]

Tell him how much it means to you and how important it is for him as well.

[Clarke498]

I don't get that. Everyone would understand that you need support.

[Saaab12]

He can just stand next to you. He probably thinks he's getting front row seats

[BlkGamer]

My own dad didn’t watch me get born! Ain’t that some shit!

[chimeara]

It is actually a relatively new concept. Fathers have only been allowed to watch the last few decades.

[EdwardMoon]

Some people can't handle gore

[Asker]

but i need him with me

[EdwardMoon]

Well than just have him by your upper half and a chair or bucket ready

[Asker]

yeah but he won't listen to me at all

[EdwardMoon]

Some are just stuborn

[Anonymous]

Thats gonna be a hard one. But im sure you'll convince him