Boyfriend wants the baby , but I don't?

[Anonymous]

So I've been looking around for help but I'm unsure what to do.

When we first got pregnant my boyfriend pushed for us to keep it but i wanted nothing to do with a child

Now my parents are pushing for us to keep the child because they want grandchildren (and my sister is already decided on no kids and they have doubts about my brother ) and my boyfriend has been wanting to keep the child since the start.

I feel like a train wreck because I don't find a connection with the whole pregnancy and everyone thinks its weird and I feel kind of heartless. I felt like I might have wanted the child in the beginning but with thinking everything through I don't want a kid probably ever.

Both of us are young and i had tried to talk to my boyfriend about aborting and now my boyfriend only wants to do adoption.

There are a lot of reasons I have never been keen on children and I'm just unsure of what to do

any help would be great thanks

[Loveydove]

Ultimately it’s your decision. My own bias opinion would be for you to consider giving your child a good home instead of abortion.

Maybe make a list of pros and cons for keeping the baby vs not.

And sometimes people don’t have a connection with the baby and that’s okay. Maybe you have depression?


Know that if you consider abortion not to make you feel bad the relationship between you and your boyfriend might change.


At the end of the day do what is best for you. Whatever you decide know you have support out there.

[caring__1]

I'd suggest the two of you seek out couples therapy, with a professional, not a religious leader who'll lay guilt trips on you, so each of you can learn to see and be considerate of the other person's feelings, along with learning effective communication skills. The timing isn't right for you, and the pressure being put on you is only causing you to shut down the opportunity for kids in the future, if you ever decide to have one. Everyone expects you to be considerate of their feelings, yet I don't sense anyone is considerate of your feelings... even the insensitive comments people make here to push their agenda onto others. It's your body and your life. If you feel forced to have a child you aren't ready to have, I can guaranty everyone will suffer, especially the child.

[virgin20]

My best advice is it's your life and your body so your choice at the end of the day. It's hard carrying someone around for 9 months and then having to care for it as well for the rest of your life essentially. If you aren't ready for that then abortion is the best way to go about it.
Idc about the hate some will give you but until science proves the foetus is alive then it's fine in my book, but it is your body!

[Asker]

well i have been called an immature little girl, selfish, a murderer and killer and that is just the poeple replying to my post on here i feel shit already but they keep piling it on

[virgin20]

Have tough skin. It's obviously controversial but they don't know your situation and who knows what they'd be like.
Do what you feel like doing ok!

[RoxyFoxx]

Any reason why you feel so bad about a child? If there's some underlying problem, explain it to your family and boyfriend. If they're decent human beings, they'll understand.

[Asker]

i have no idea kids just do not like me for some reason and im not a kid person really

[ryckrohan]

It's your body. It's an unfair situation. I think your boyfriend should get the baby since he wants it but it's hard asking you to carry something you don't want. In the end do what's best for you. Because whatever decisions you make you have to live with it no one else.

[Asker]

if there was a way to give him the baby without me carrying it i would just give it to him

[ryckrohan]

Ye. I figured. It's a tough decision. You stand the chance of messing up your relationships with family and partner. But you can't please them and doom yourself.

[Asker]

true very true but i do not want to lose my boyfriend i love him so much

[ryckrohan]

Well if that's the case can you carry this child for him?

[Asker]

like give birth

[ryckrohan]

Yes. Bare in mind. No that he can walk at any point and leave u with a child you never wanted.

[Asker]

yeah but then my boyfriend would make me pay child support so im back to having a kid again

[ryckrohan]

Have you considered y u don't want kids

[Asker]

i dont know im just not a motherly person or a kid person really

[ryckrohan]

I don't know. Things change. You may actually like being a mother. But it's no guarantee

[Asker]

yeah but that is a risk

[ryckrohan]

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Abort it then... I feel like you know the answer to this but you seek validation at the end of the day we are just people on a website... it is you who is going to have to deal with this problem and if you feel like you can't then simply abort it..

[zxczxczxc43434]

😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 ABORTION = MURDER

[Asker]

but i am so confused i have tons of people adviceing me but they all say diffrent things

[zxczxczxc43434]

STOP DONT DO IT U WILL MURDER UR CHILD

[Opinion Owner]

You can barely make a decision. Why the hell didn't you use protection? You should abort it because you are obviously immature and can't woman the fuck up about it... just do whatever you want its your life just know kids limit you and they are expensive

[zxczxczxc43434]

UR VERY VERY EVIL PERSON WITH EVIL PLANS YOU SOHULD NEVER ADVICE HER EVIL ONLY GOOD

[Asker]

why am i immature for seeking help and advice? why do you assume i did not use protection? fyi i did
plus you are being very rude

[Opinion Owner]

Look im not trying to be rude this topic is serious and at the end of the day its your body so do whatever you want and next time stick with your right hand and stop bringing people into this world if you aren't ready immature little girl

[Asker]

why call me an immature little girl when i do use protection it just failed plus i know this is serious which is why im asking for advice and oppinions

[Opinion Owner]

You don't need us telling you what to do it is your decision so make it because when I log out my life continues, you on the other hand can't just do that so sit down and talk to your boyfriend about options

[zxczxczxc43434]

LISTEN TO ME

[zxczxczxc43434]

DONT BE IDIOTS LISTEN TO GOD SAY GOD SAYS ABORTION IS MURDER END DISCUSSION!!!

[zxczxczxc43434]

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISSEN TO ME AIGHT. YO UDONT MURDER UR CHILD AND YOU WILL TAKE CARE OF HIM/HER LIKE GOD HAS PLANNED BE A GOOD MOTHER CHEERS.

[Opinion Owner]

@zxczxczxc43434 shut the hell up you aren't going to be paying for shit for this baby so just run along

[Asker]

i have tried to talk to him but he refuses to even consider abortion

[zxczxczxc43434]

IF UR BOYFRIEND doesn't I WILL BEAT HIS ASS AND TEACH HIM HOW TO BE A MAN PROPERLYM

[Asker]

@zxczxczxc43434 oh fuck off already i do not belive in god so go away you are not helping by preaching your delusional dependency on a made up being

[zxczxczxc43434]

U WILL MAKE GOD VERY ANGRY AND IF U DECIDE TO KILL UR CHILD FOR REAL REAL? I WILL REALLY FEEL PITY FOR YOU BECAUSE GOD SEE EVERTHANG. GOODLUCK.

[zxczxczxc43434]

PS) DONT KILL UR CHILD*

[Opinion Owner]

I do apologize for how rude I was being I just know how it feels to raise kids that I am not responsible for hell the kids im raising belongs to a family member and I haven't even had a boyfriend... it just frustrates me when people bring people into the world and don't take it seriously... kids change your life to absolute core and if your boyfriend can't deal with then maybe you should move on or maybe give him the kid or abort it you are the one carrying the child and asking advice from strangers on this isn't going to help

[Opinion Owner]

@zxczxczxc43434 shut the fuck up

[zxczxczxc43434]

U WILL FEEL FERY PITY TRUST ME U WILL VERY GUILTY IF U KILL UR CHILD

[zxczxczxc43434]

u will feel very evil

[Asker]

i have tried talking to my parents about this but they are like my boyfriend they keep saying keep it and it is my boyfriend who wants to keep it

[Opinion Owner]

My family member got pregnant and my aunt was like no dont abort it if you want you can give me the kid and ill raise it and 4 years later my aunt regrets it people say stuff in the moment because they aren't thinking but watch of you give someone the kid they are going to regret it or you are going to regret it because you might want to have a relationship with the kid and that kid might be like fuck you, you gave me away. My main advise is really don't listen to other people and listen to your head because only you know what you are capable of doing and willing to do

[Asker]

thank you for some sold advice i will think it over and decide ok

[Opinion Owner]

Np goodluck you're going to need it if I'm being honest

[zxczxczxc43434]

God is seeing and hearing everything your saying and doing. let me tell you something right fucking now. dont listen to this girls advice she demonically possessed probably and this is not herself saying this. u do not abort ur baby n if u have grandparents or parents give it to them and let them take care of it, firstly its not ur body its not ur choice. its Gods choice cause God created u. and God owns ur body. were all slaves of God. thus do not listen to her advice and let me tell you something if you put your trust in god 100% fully God will help you and heal you trust me. peace

[Opinion Owner]

@zxczxczxc43434 shut up virgin

[zxczxczxc43434]

Yes thank God im virgin because i listen to Gods laws. i dont mess around because God says its illegal. God wants us to stay virgin and pure

[zxczxczxc43434]

Makes me wanna puke me your considering murdering ur child like a possesed demon rat killer satan evil immature brat if u do it u will regret it.

[Asker]

@zxczxczxc43434 lol you are insane you know plus tell me something if god is all knowing and all powerful and life is just part of his plan then why allow humans to invent abortion why even lets do it so by definition god is the reason for abortion and he is responsible for every baby dying right so your god is a killer and evil being so again you are insane

[Opinion Owner]

Hey I would like an update what happened between you two :)

[Asker]

hi again and thanks for all the advice you gave

so me and my boyfriend talked about it a lot and we got into a fight again over the baby so we stopped talking but he came to my scan as here in the uk u need a scan before you can get an aborton it was my first scan so all was going well

i was on the table getting the scan then the nurse turned the screen towards me to see the baby and i do not know what hapened i just fell in love with my baby

i know at that moment i wanted my baby and i would regret getting an aborton so when we came out of the doctors i told my boyfriend i want to keep the baby he was shocked at first but then he was super happy

so in short im keeping my baby and sorry for the long wined reply

[spartan55]

If you aren't keen on children then why tf aren't you using birth control?

[Asker]

i did use birth control

[spartan55]

Oh really, what did you use?

[Asker]

comdom why

[spartan55]

You sure he didn't take it off? Did it break?

[Asker]

i know he did not remove it

[zxczxczxc43434]

ABORTION IS MURDER YOU DUM😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 SIN SIN SIN SIN SIN!!!

[Iron_Man]

Have the baby if you can’t handle it then give it to the boyfriend. Do not have an abortion

[Asker]

but i do not want to carry this baby

[Iron_Man]

Why It’s murder if you don’t

[Asker]

oh your one of them

[Iron_Man]

It’s not one of them it’s the right way of life

[zxczxczxc43434]

ABORTION IS MURDER AND GOD WILL BE VERY ANGRY IF YOU DO SO 😡😡😡😡😡😡

[Asker]

im pro-choice so i do not see abortion as murder as it is my body so it should be my choice plus legally the fetus is not a person yet so how can it be murder

[zxczxczxc43434]

NO ITS NOT 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

[Iron_Man]

@zxczxczxc43434
Tell her like it is my friend She needs a wake up call

[Iron_Man]

She’s being very selfish

[Asker]

@zxczxczxc43434 i will play ball why is it not my choice then?

[zxczxczxc43434]

GOING TO HELL IS ALSO A CHOICE 😈🔥🔥🔥

[Asker]

you are being a hypocrite you know as you say im being selfish yet you are the ones who want me to use my body to grow this fetus which could kill me yet im the selfish one wow

say i demand your keddney and said you have no choice and when you try to control your body i shout you are selfish how would you feel about that as you are doing just that to me

[zxczxczxc43434]

HELL IS HOTTER TRUST ME 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[Asker]

@zxczxczxc43434 oh i get it you are god this god that but i do not belive in god so your views are void

[Iron_Man]

You’re not gonna die look at all the people in America with kids. You’re just making excuses

[Iron_Man]

I’m not being a hypocrite

[Asker]

you are being a hypocrite

on one had you demand i carry this fetus to term using my body against my will but giving me no say or chice in the matter

on the over had you won't give up a keddney and you cry it is your body when we say you have no choice

how am i making excuses when it is my body so i should be able to abort if i want

[Iron_Man]

Having a baby is a natural process it’s a part of life how am I being a hypocrite you’re delusional you’re making excuses from head to toe if everybody is like you nobody on the earth will be left. You just wanna enjoy life and party and live out your youth you don’t want the responsibility of a full-time mother. If you weren’t ready to be a mother you shouldn’t have been having sex

[zxczxczxc43434]

SOMEONE BETTER STOP THIS DUMBASS FROM KILLING HER CHILD AM BOUT TO GET REALLY ANGRY 😠

[zxczxczxc43434]

THATS CHILD MURDER LITERALLY.

[zxczxczxc43434]

CALL THE POLICE ON HER

[Asker]

@zxczxczxc43434 oh what you going to do as abortion is legal so the cops cannot stop me

[Asker]

you say Having a baby is a natural process it’s a part of life so by that logic there should be no hospitals or meds as death is a part of life

yes i wanna enjoy life not have a fetus use my body against my will

"If you weren’t ready to be a mother you shouldn’t have been having sex "

treu but then abortion was invented so again why should i not abort if it is my body

here is someing for you to think about if god is all knowing and all powerfull why did he let us invent abortion if we are not allowed to use it

[Iron_Man]

You have very bad improper doctrine. If you go through with this for the rest of your life you will be haunted by it and regret it. You will answer to God face-to-face on judgment day. I really hope that you’re trolling

[Asker]

lol you have no answer therefor your argument is wrong plus your the one with the improper doctrine as you seek to control others bodys

[zxczxczxc43434]

LISTEN TO ME YOUNG LADY. YOU DONT OWN UR BODY GOD DOES. GOD IS THE ONE WHO MADE YOU NOW ANSWER THAT.

[Iron_Man]

You’ve gone too far you’re a professional troll lady

[zxczxczxc43434]

@Iron_Man exactly!!

[Iron_Man]

My discussion is Right

[zxczxczxc43434]

i agree with you @Iron_Man im muslim ur christian but our views are the same pretty much.

[Iron_Man]

Yes.:

[Asker]

@zxczxczxc43434 but my veiws are not ur views so why push ur views onto me

[Asker]

so im a troll cuz i disagree with u wow

[Nachowedgie]

The answer is pretty simple but you like killing children so

[Anonymous]

Step up to the plate