Here are some of the different reasons why men don't want to commit.
1. Our culture pressures women to commit before they are ready. I have dated women who after only the third date started hinting at marriage. He may just need more time.
2. Not sure we have anything to offer the women in a long term relationship. Most men fear divorce. If we lack confidence in who we are, we may not feel we are ready to provide for a family and don't want the woman to change her mind after marriage . If this is the case let him know how much you value him.
3. Immaturity. Most guys aren't ready to get married until their late 20's or early 30's. You may need to day someone more mature
4. Fear of losing sex. Most guys have heard other married men talk about after they get married how their sex lives disappear.
5. Unfortunately many men and women stop trying to make each other happy after they get married. One or both people may consider the other person trapped and take each other for granted.
6. If the man has never been married then he will be worried about what life will be like living for another person.
7. He may feel he has different life goals. For example you may want kids while he may not.
8. If he does start a family he could lose custody of his kids.
9. He could face financial ruin through child support and alimony.
10. Some men just are not looking for Mrs. Right, they are looking for Mrs. Right Now.
11. He still is unsure about you.
12. You may not be fulfilling all of his emotional needs yet.
13. He could have issues with your family.
14. He might think you would have issues with his family
15. If you already live together and want to get married, that means you believe that getting married will somehow change the relationship. That leaves the man wondering "What will change?" Maybe tell him so one of you can put the other person on your health insurance or something. This lets him know you aren't planning on changing after marriage.
Men are very logical creatures, more so than being emotional. You may need to prove to his logical side that getting married it the right idea, instead of appealing to his emotional side. The reasons are different for every man, and not every man is worth marrying.
That's not true. However most men won't commit to a woman just because they are in a relationship. Men fall in love much less than women do, when we do however we are very dedicated and protective of our female, if we don't love her we act like we do when in fact we really don't, in that case we just want somebody to be us, so we don't look like a loner and must importantly we have somebody to have sex with. For every man there is probably 1 woman who he will be only committed to, the rest are just there to satisfy other needs, not much to do with love. That is why men do not stay committed because often times the girl is in love, but the guy isn't, if he really found his other half or his woman, he will be very delighted to do so. Unfortunately that is very difficult to find. That is why you see divorce rates so high.
You serious?! What can WE do to make it easier?!?! WTF do you want? You do sh for him, you have sex with him, you probably bend over backwards for the man... what the heck's he buying the cow for when she's giving it all up for free?
No no dear... we need to make it HARDER for him to get the things he wants. THEN he'd commit because he'd have no choice. Problem is, there's waaaaayyy too much easy p^ssy going on out there! So he'll just dump you and find the easy one. He STILL won't marry her, but he'll use her up...
That is, until that one guy thinks you're his goddess...then he'll bat the ring down for you in a heartbeat... but that one's hard to find... I mean he's been so used to easy, right? It's hard to get off 'easy' street. But one day, when he's older, he'll realize that easy isn't what he wants...
Anyway, I'm on my own rant...so I'm going now... but think about what I said. It's not how WE can make it easier for him, it's how can we find the guy who's right for US.
I don't think your very accurate, at least not from my perspective. I will go without rather than waste my time on a woman with whom I have no desire to explore the possibilities of a relationship with. If a woman is being inordinately difficult and stingy with her affection I will gladly move on to greener pastures, like wise with playing hard to get or a number of other equally annoying head games. the search for a compatible mate is hard enough without immature mind games.
Well I'm talking about lose women here. Some girls are out there thinking you need to bed the guy in three dates (or less!) so he'll stick around and then they complain about him not respecting them. Hello? I'm not talking head games or being hard to get. It's about respecting oneself and our own boundaries.
Wow, this is cool. Me and my guy friend were actually talking about this. His opinion was that women and men are both equally commitment phobes. We just don't realize it sometimes that women can be resistan to a relationship just as much as men can. Men get the bad rap because they are the ones that are expected.
Men and women want different things from relationships. For instance, women hold importance on rituals, like getting engaged, titles like girlfriend, boyfriend, and a wedding. But men do not need those things to be in love. For a woman, marriage is a commitment. But for a man, it may be enough to just be living with him or seeing him everyday. So hence men get the bad rap. Not saying all men feel this way, but that is kind of how it works. Every man is different, so is every woman.
What freaks them out is US. Men are logical when it comes to commitment. Women think that love conquers all yet most marriages don't end because there is no love they end for religion, money and sex differences. Men get married at the right time women are ready to get married for the right guy regardless of the time. Most men want to be the man, the provider etc. Logically I think a lot of marriages would last longer if we all waited til men were financially stable and women were more sexually aware of themselves, which is actually around the same age in your 30s. Men and women would be more in sync.
Opinion
22Opinion
I have had a woman accuse me of this before, so let me summarize what I thought about after she made the accusation.
I'm not afraid of love and commitment. She just didn't make the "cut". If it's not right for me, then it's not right. I may find out on the first date. I may find out a year later. But in the end if she's not right for me, then it's not right.
I want a woman with integrity. This includes good morals, honesty and loyalty. I want a woman who is a giver and not a taker. I want a woman who is not structured, but instead flexible. I want a woman who understands that nagging isn't loving. I won't settle for anything less. It has nothing to do with being afraid of love and commitment.
I know what I want, and when I find it, I'll be ready to commit. The problem is, a lot of guys aren't sure what they really want. If they're afraid to commit, I think it is safe to say "something" is missing...but they're not sure what the "something" is.
All guys are different in what they want. Once they find what they want, most are ready to commit. There are guys who really are afraid of love and commitment for reasons unknown to me.
Just one man's opinion. Nothing more, nothing less.
Love is the release of endorphins. It creates the feeling that we call "Love". Technically guys (and girls) aren't/ can't be scared of love because release of endorphins happens uncontrollably. So to be scared of love is psychically impossible sense your body creates it uncontrollably. It's why people believe in love at first sight. You find something truly appealing about the person, could be looks or smell and your brain releases loads of endorphins into your system and you feel "love". It basically stems from the need to mate and have our species carry on. No matter how much we evolve basic nature doesn't seem to change much.
As for commitment, guys tend to back away because they believe women can be manipulative. And when you hear stories of "that girl this and that girl did that." It's hard to believe that the girl you have won't do any of the things you've heard. And when you throw in the facts of commitment aka marriage, the fact that at least 50% of them end in divorce puts doubt into the mind. And once again back to basic human nature, being monogamous has been taught not inherited. People (men and women) use to have multiple partners. It wasn't until the supposed time of Jesus (whether he's real or not) that monogamy started to truly be preached and tried.
So Short Answer: Men aren't afraid of love and commitment, and neither are women. It's just purely a battle of natural instinct verse taught behavior. When taught behavior prevails, then you have commitment.
Sorry for the rant but I thought you might like to know what's actually going on instead of random people spewing nonsense.
It's not just endorphine, it's dopamine, phenyletilamin and oxytocin as well. Otherwise, true.
First of all, it's not all guys. For example, I'm only 20 years old and I was extremely attracted to this 26 year old girl from one of my classes. Apparently she had strong feelings for me as in more than just friends because she sent an email to me telling me this. From that I ended up telling her that, "I'm in love with you."
She was all excited then we started going out every once in a while, but she was older than me so you could say I was very shy around her so I never attempted to kiss her or anything, but that didn't mean I didn't want to. The most we did was hold hands and she even laid against me to sleep on a train ride home. Then after three months I had very odd feelings that something was up and she then eventually told me that she lost the feelings for me and how she had so many dreams, but she can't seem to get those feelings back for me.
If she wanted me to be with her forever, I honestly felt it in my heart that I wouldn't be scared if she would want something like that, but obviously things don't go the way you want.
The point of all of this? To prove that not every guy is scared of love and commitment and maybe she was the one who was scared of love and commitment. I doubt I'll ever get to find out what was really going through her mind.
You should have kissed her when she wanted you to! You can when she wants to, haha.
Yes Mesonfielde, I do know that. lol She did try kissing me actually when I was leaving from her car once, but because she caught me off guard I avoided it out of subconscious reaction and kissed her on the cheek instead. Then as I get into my car I was just like, "DAMN IT, YOU F***ING IDIOT! YOU JUST MISSED YOUR CHANCE! WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Yelling at myself that is. lmao I apologized to her, but she wasn't offended at what I did.
Phoenix52 speak for yourself. If that's true then why was I with her in the first place? Also I'm not used to going out with someone who is 6 years older than me so I was intimidated, but it didn't push me away either. She's the one that changed her mind, not me. So don't act like you know me.
A big generalization!
Many guys are not scared of love and commitment. I am actually the kind of guy that is looking for a long-term relationship but I am at that age where everybody just wants to have fun and fool around why is not my cup of tea. I have never been that guy who goes round having FWBs and flings and one night stands etc. That's why I'm still a virgin and have never had a girlfriend. I am much more interested in being in a comitted relationhip where me and the girl love each other and so far I have not found a girl who loves me for who I am and I'm not going to settle for flings and stuff to fulfill my dating/sexual needs. All the girls I have been interested in have never reciprocated the feelings and all the girl who were interested in me (or so I thought) only wanted me for sex and/or making their boyfriends jealous. I'm sorry but I am not the kind of guy who will put up with that s***!
I would love to have a girl who loves me as much as I love her but I don't really have a lot of success with women and even when I've tried I have failed all times. I wanna remain single now so I can work on myself and work towards reaching my other goals in life. I socialize quite a bit and I make plenty of new girl friends but now I hardly have any time for a committed relationship unfortunately because I hardly have any free time left on my hands. I'm a very busy guy these days. But when the right girl comes she will come, and I will use this busy time I am going through to make myself the best person I can be so that when I do meet the right girl I can give her my all and hopefully she will be best that she can be and give me her all. Now that would be the long-term relationship full of love and commitment that I have been looking forward to my whole life.
Usually a guy who appears "scared" of love and commitment is actually a guy with the wrong girl. It is amazing how a guy can not commit to a girl, stop seeing her and next thing you know, he's engaged and ready to get married. When a guy is with the right girl for him he may be a little surprised by his feelings and how quickly he will attach to that girl, but he will attach to her even if it isn't the best relationship or particularly healthy.
A harsh generalization, and one that's far from true.
The only reason I'm single right now is because my ex wanted to mess around with other guys in college. I would absolutely love to have a girl that's committed and loves me back, but most women don't so much as give the time of day to average looking guys. I'm constantly working to improve myself, both physically and mentally, but until I get better, I'm stuck as an average guy, and average doesn't cut it.
I have never met a guy that's afraid of commitment. I've met those that want nothing to do with it, and those that would give everything for it. The fear and uncertainty seems to primarily come from women.
I'm not afraid of love and commitment. Nothing is warmer, safer, and happier to me than being in a great relationship with a loving woman. The problem is that most women I meet are basically children in grownup bodies. I would be a fool to my trust in them. I'm happy to commit when I meet someone worth it who I believe will be a real partner to me.
Not all of us are. We are just selective about who we commit to because the pitfalls of committing to the wrong person can be life ruining.
It can take a lot longer to commit to someone, than to find her attractive. It is part of the ritual we have with each other, have patience and the right person will commit to you eventually.
I think that guys just like begin hoes sometimes...and others aren't ready for love...and others are just scared of girls and their bitchyness. If we weren't such biotches maybe people would want to commit to us. Thank god we have vaginas. lol
Actually most guys get emotionally attached faster than women, I don't know about everyone else but I was raised up being taught that my job was to always be strong for the people around. Guys are taught that they need to be the rock, and its hard to change from that to showing your emotions.
its prob since some guys think if tehy commit then they will ether one get turned down or 2 loss everything some guys like just hugging and kissing while others are sex fiends it all depends on the type of guy me I am looking for a girl that won't leave me if anything happens in the relationship like if we get in a argument and she just dumps me cose of it I am looking for one that will stay with me if we have a argument to tell the truth put me in my place really so as tht tells you most guys are diffrent
Not knowing what the girl is thinking is my biggest concern, does she love me back, what does she think of me, ect... But I never know how to bring it up in a conversation without making it awkward. So I guess it would help a lit if the girl would initiate conversations about the relationship because the gut more than likely wants to talk about things but doesn't know how. And I think the thing that scares a guy the most is the fear of being rejected.
my questoin to you is: WHY ARE YOU GIRLS SO OBSESSED WITH LOVE AND COMMITMENT? COULD IT BE NOT US SCARED BUT YOU FRIGGING PARANOID AND F***ING OBSESSED ABOUT IT. no, wait, it can't be that way, because it's women who have the right morale and ethics.
Yaicks! this topic has a lot of attention... I am just going to add one reason to all what has been said.
There are cases where the girl wants to commit, and the guy doesn't which of course I believe is the question. lets see, from experience, the guy is afraid that with what's going on, she may not understand when things turn around or go bad mostly because there is something he is not telling her!
im not scared of it at all. in fact I have spoken with my girlfriend about this topic and we both agree that we're ready for a completely committed relationship. :)
There are so many reasons why many men are wary when it comes to commitment, but if I had to reduce it to one overarching factor, it would be fear over the loss of one's freedoms and options.
Overall, men seem to value their autonomy more than women, who appear to secretly habour more dependency needs.
Look at the divorce rate and figure out WHY we're scared to commit. LOL
I don't think they are scared of love and commitment. Just scared of getting hurt. But I think once they find "the one" they commit.
guys who can't commit may have trust issues, scared, or just players. but usually when a guy can't commit to a relationship, it's cause he's not ready or haven't found the right girl to be in a relationship with.
hahahahahaha good question girl,now lets see what they answer lol
So was our answers entertaining enough for you?
We aren't necessarily scared- we just treat these things more seriously than many women do.
Because a lot...a LOT of women are mentally unstable and none of us want to get stuck with a psycho.
I am not afraid of commitment I'm just not going to be saying I love you and whatnot right off the bat
not all of us like that , you are picking the wrong guys
You've been reading too much twilight.
Scared? I envy that sh*t lol
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