Why are guys mean to girls they like?

He's very nice most times, but he acts like a jerk and is mean sometimes. Why is this? (he never told me he likes me but I know he does)

How should I react to this?

Ignore? Be serious? or play along and take it as a joke?

I don't want him to think of me lightly and as just a fling.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I will tell you the reasons why I'm mean to the girl I like: It is who I am, that's my sense of humor and how I am with my family. I don't mean "mean" in a bad way, but more in a playful tone, I am comfortable with her so I can be myself without putting on this "cool" persona. Like George Costanza used to say "I don't want to be ON all night when I'm with a date, I would much rather be OFF". She is mean to me also and she tells me that's how she is with her dad and brothers, so there's nothing better than having a girl being herself when she is with you. I don't care if she laughs and smiles at other guys, that's how she is with everybody, I would probably get jealous if she started being playfully mean to others. If I feel I go too far, I would go and apologize and she would do the same, but we both know we are just playing around. If you like him and you feel comfortable playing along, if it is who you are, then do it. If it bothers you then tell him to stop and if he truly likes you, he will stop and change his ways and find some other way to win you over. Personally, there's nothing more attractive than a girl who can go toe to toe with me, who is intelligent and who has a good sense of humor, and a great personality and when a girl has that, there's no way a guy can take her lightly or as a fling.


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What Guys Said 3

  • He could be acting like a jerk because of his insecure ego. He hasn't even admitted he liked you, which means there is still a lot he has to get off his chest. The pressure frustrates him at times and causes him to lash out. It would be much easier if he just got the monkey off his back and came clean about his feelings, but again, he fears embarrassment. Acting like a jerk is his way of maintaining dominance in the relationship.

    Your reactions validate his dominance. He needs you in order to be that jerk. Your best approach to counter balancing that is to have no reaction. Ignore him. Once he realizes his charades no longer sway you, he will be forced to wise up. He will, if he really truly does like you.

    • Thanks for the good advice. I don't think he will ever admit to me that he likes me because of his ego. He's very outgoing and confident, by the way. Do you know what I can do to make him admit?

      I thought about ignoring him but just played back and told him to be more nice with his words next time and he said yes. Hopefully, he'll keep his word and if he doesn't I'll ignore him next time.

      I noticed I have to be a little bit mean to him at times to keep him interested and be nice to me.

    • To answer your second question, expect to do at least 90% of the initiating. Bring up the subject then set the mood. Start off by jokingly touching on the subject (Like, hahaha, I know you love me) then grab his attention with a more serious and subtle tone (Seriously, I want to know what you really feel about me). If he has any respect for you at all, he will give an answer. Good or bad, it'll be an answer.

  • Those are his true colors, and if you do get in a relationship with him the few nice times he has you'll come to find out is just a front. You won't be happy if you get in a relationship with him and the more you turn him down, the mire sweet talking he's ganna try on you. You girls always fall for this and complain and then you finally realize it when your 26 and you haven't found one decent guy.

    • Yeah, he's definitely a bad boy, and I am slightly attracted to him. BUT not when he's a jerk.

      How should I react to his action for him to take me more seriously? He knows I'm the nice girl type.

    • He wants in your pants that's all, if you want him to be more serious then you're ganna have to wait a couple of years to when ge grows up.

  • dont play along, play back at him.


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