Holding a door open for a girl despite the big distance?

[Anonymous]

Why do guys open doors for girls a significant distance away? The other day I was at least twenty feet away from the door, and a guy was walking up to open it. I actually slowed my pace to avoid that awkward door holding situation (I’m shy, and I don’t know him very well). But then I looked up and realized he was standing there, holding it open, waiting patiently and staring at me.

I don't want to read anything into it— he was probably trying to be polite. But why do people do this if I was SO FAR AWAY? I don’t wanna run to get there and not bother you— I don’t know.

Thoughts on door opening? Why from such a big distance? (Or am I just socially inept and opening doors for people twenty feet away is normal)

[NearlyNapping]

You don't want to slam the door in someone's face who is right behind you. You don't want to hold it if they are too far away. Then there is that in between distance where it's a bit awkward for both people. 20 feet is a bit on the long side, but not too bad. If someone holds it, just get through and thank them.

That distance will usually be further holding it for a lady or elderly person.

[Asker]

So if I was a guy you think he wouldn’t have held it open?

[NearlyNapping]

It's less likely. Men have been holding doors open for women for ages. I don't see that changing in the near future.

[TripleAce]

Agree, it’s a little awkward and uncessary lol... that’s way over doing
Like some creepy guy just there with the door open 😂 cause he clearly noticed you from a mile away bahahaha
I’ll only do it if someone is right behind me, or a few steps away max, guy or girl... not just for girls, I do it for bros too

[Carefuloutthere]

He's being polite.
It's not a gender thing, I always hold the door for the next person, even if they aren't right behind me.
It's just good manners xx

[Taylor_C]

I think guys holding open doors for girls is very uncommon. Never experienced it, and neither did anyone I know.

[BeMuse]

He opened the door for himself because he was walking through it. He wasn't in a rush so he held it open for the people behind him.

[Asker]

It was just me, and I was about twenty feet away. Some background: we’ve been working together all summer, and he’s basically avoided me the entire time, so it seems weird.

[BeMuse]

So now holding the door for someone creeps them out...

[Asker]

No? It wasn’t creepy. Just curious— lol. At a minimum, it’s sweet & polite. But I don't know if it meant something else, hence my question on this forum

[BeMuse]

I generally hold the door for anyone I notice behind me. If I happen to open a door and someone is coming through from the other direction I tend to let them pass before entering... If it’s early in the morning or after a long day of work I’m probably moving slow like Snorlax so 20 ft is nothing… I don’t really think about it at all unless someone acts odd. For example if I hold the door and a girl freezes up in the doorway and stares at me then that’s out of place… If they walk through the door nothing is really on my mind.

[Iron_Man]

I do that only at first like the car door as a good sign of faith. But I'm not going to do that after the third date that's too much no one does that full time
After the honeymoon phase wears off

[Asker]

We’re not dating though.

[Iron_Man]

Oh then why bother doing it then?

[Asker]

Oof exactly what I’m wondering

[Asker]

Not like opening doors in general, but opening a door from that far away.

[Iron_Man]

Maybe he's thinking you're going to be his future girlfriend and perhaps you should have a talk with him

[Asker]

Can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic?

[Iron_Man]

No lol why do you think that? I'm being serious with you

[Asker]

Everyone else seems to think it’s a mundane sign of politeness that I read too much into. The reason I asked was because I’m kind of crushing on him. Kind of. And it seemed weird to do, given my distance and the fact that we barely talk to each other.

[Iron_Man]

I'm talking about opening car doors friends don't usually do that for each other. But yeah you can do that for a friend to open the restaurant door without being in a relationship, I do it for this 85 year old swedish women in Miami when we eat together.

[Iron_Man]

But the Swedish woman opens her own car door. I just hold the door open for her when she walks into the restaurant is all

[Iron_Man]

Okay I've got to get going now I have to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings

[Fuentes]

Maybe you were walking pretty quick om the same direction so hr open'd it for you because it's rude to open a door and then by the time you get there it's shutting in your face lol

[Asker]

No, it was pretty far. Like, I was walking REALLY slow (on purpose), and even if I walked the same pace it would have closed way before I got there.

[Anonymous]

I do that sort of thing all the time. Don't read anything into it. He was just being nice. You women should try it sometime. Women almost always just let the door slam in guys' faces.

[Asker]

Lol you’re probably right. Also, I usually go with holding it open if they’re close (five feet max) otherwise I push it open and let them catch it. I don't know I’m from California and people don’t really do the whole polite thing where I used to live— but now I’m in Tennessee so I guess the expectations are higher.

[Opinion Owner]

Ah yeah, I'm sure there is more of that southern politeness there in TN than in CA. I grew up in CA too and I think it has really gone to hell there.

[MarketNews]

Obviously they want you to squeeze past them while they hold the door. It's a guy thing.

[Asker]

Wait really? That’s a thing?

[MarketNews]

I don't know. Maybe subconsciously. Maybe just an excess of politeness?

[Asker]

Yeah I guess. The excess politeness thing seems strange because he’s been kind of stand offish ever since I met the guy.

[MarketNews]

Maybe he's just really shy. Shy people always come off as stand-offish to me.

[iFarted]

I find it awkward keeping the door opened when theyre further away than ideal

[grega239]

It's called politeness

[spartan55]

Sounds like love.

[Asker]

Wait what?