Why do some people just not enjoy socializing?

[NavyVelvet]

Why do some people just not enjoy socializing?

[btbc92]

Well for many reasons:

1. As an introvert, I do not need the company of others to be happy. Just a few people that I love and know.
2. Most people are extremely shallow, gossip all the time, and are unfriendly. They are quick to judge you as you just stated about some people "not enjoy socializing". Human's are social creatures by nature. That's how God designed us. We are just told to be careful WHO WE invite into our lives and who we call a 'friend'.
3. We do socialize. We just choose who we want to socialize with.
4. Being quiet actually is beneficial. We can think clearly, we can listen thoroughly and attentively, it helps gives us energy, and calmly release stressful and negative energy we harbored or absorbed.
5. We're quiet because we again, cause be stressed and is trying to figure it out.
6. We may be daydreaming about something. And no, depending on how good it is, we are NOT happy with it being disturbed.
7. We may be physically ill. Talking just makes it worse.

And those are just 7 examples of it. But there is more.

[joleo92]

I dont. I'm trying to. o inwas diagnosed not just with social anxiety but I have an actual phobia of socializing. I hate being rejected as I have been my whole life. inlove being alone because indont have to waste 60 percent of my energy being self conscious and trying to have something relevant to say. when I'm alone I'm in bliss. I gotta break this though because when it comes down to it I'm so goddamn lonely I can barley stand it and feel unworthy of attentionx friendship and I feel like a monster and pariah. I wish I could I want to more than anything. being this extremely shy has taken away any enjoyment and independence from my life. I'm so alone. (hence why I joined this site)

[joleo92]

sorry for the typos. my phone autocorrects everything to jibberish

[dancing_in_nebulas]

Superficially vs Interpersonal Depth.

For some, gossip, fashion, "basic" subjects and people are boring.

Just as some people find "intelligent" people boring to talk to.

I use quotations since that's how people describe depth people for some reason. Being knowledgeable in conspiracies, history, science, doesn't necessarily mean that person is intelligent- it's just subjects we enjoy.

Likewise, people who like "superficial" topics, are not dumb.

But - interpersonal people tend to be thinkers, so socializing can feel distracting or annoying enough to want to avoid it altogether for periods of time.

[ForteExe]

Because a lot of the time "socializing" means "rehashing bullshit of no consequence to anything important or meaningful" and people like me and my Dad have no patience for that shit. We'd rather disengage than deal with meaningless banter. I don't care about last week's episode of game of thrones, or what some asswipe on the news thinks about the weather, or what the president said on Twitter about some third world country, or about your new diet, or how many girls you've fucked, or what your friend Courtney said about that bitch Melissa, or about anything that -- if it never happened --wouldn't affect the decisions I make or what happens in the course of my life in the slightest. It's all meaningless distractions and noise that serves no productive purpose other than to distract one's self from having to confront the harsh realities of life.

[LesterJester]

Because of past experiences of drama, petty BS and backstabbing, some just feel it's not worth the hassle and leaves you more time to do what you want, when you want and how you want.

I used to host parties every weekend at my place, sometimes two nights in a row. But after a couple of years, things went downhill to the point of fights and gossip and people just getting out of control. The final nail in the coffin was when I got jumped by several guys and no so called friends to back me up.

I did more damage than they did to me, but that was it. Can't be fk'd anymore.

[mrArcher]

Because it's draining. In the age of efortless abundance, you don't have to chop trees or haul rocks anymore. During that time, interaction was much more straightforward, because you wouldn't have much to gain from most people. You genuinely wanted to talk to them and had something to say.

Nowadays, interaction is (at least psychologically speaking, which is a big deal) LITERALLY as difficult as chopping trees or hauling rocks. You brain releases dopamine, adrenaline, neuropinephrine, cortisol and many MANY other chemicals that literally play out in your brain as they did in our ancestor's brains when they did THAT and when they fought physically. Which is why women cry after a guy saying mean things and why men call women whores after being rejected.

Yeah, the human mind is a joke.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

It depends on personality, or confidence/social skills/social anxiety. Some people become so nervous while talking to others that it's not enjoyable for them. Unfortunately, I struggle with this at times with new people but try to push through anyway, because I know it's the only way I'll get better and more comfortable.

Some people are just very quiet and introverted as well.

[ClearerAtN1ght]

Some people just don't do well with larger groups, or at public places. Some people are just loaners. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think society needs all sorts of people.

Also social anxiety is a very real thing. Some people, even when they want to be social, hit a wall of fear and anxiety. Sometimes they don't even really know why.

[shimmeryns]

Maybe because socializing can be draining, having to constantly engage with people. I mean, I'm a bit of both. I enjoy socializing but there will be time I just want to be by myself.

But those who don't even want to socialize, no idea. Maybe they are just introverts, socially awkward or having major self esteem issues.

[winterfox10]

I don't enjoy it for the simple reason that I don't like talking about pointless shit. I just don't care, and I don't want to be put in a situation where I have to pretend to care in maintain a superficial relationship that both of us know will never amount to anything.

[Wolframium]

What do you mean by „why“? Isn't it obvious? People are mostly dumb and tribalistic. And million other reasons I can't think of right now, because I'm tired.
(Not to say you do that:) I love how extroverts just think everyone is like them. Or assume that. Everyone must enjoy company of others.

[aficionado]

I don't want to be judged. I have major inferiority complex and self esteem issues, and an awkward as hell, so I don't want to sign up for insults and judgements from other people.

[HOAAH]

Omg, same

[joleo92]

I feel the tune of your post in my soul. so ackward it's pretty much unbearable

[aficionado]

@HOAAH

Yeah, I kinda knew I couldn't be alone.

[aficionado]

@joleo92

It feels so terrible, right?

[aa180]

Don't you know how people are these days? You could be chatting and getting along with a new person very well, then the next time you meet they'll turn their face and pretend like they didn't see you.

People are crap.

[madgoat]

While I understand that some people find other fascinating, and get a real buzz out of social interaction, that is not true of everyone.
Social people can be intolerant of introverts, difficult to engage with, untrustworthy and/or snipey gossips.

[codycccccccccc]

Because 90% of people are only interested in stupid bullshit I couldn't care less that your 3 uncle twice removed that I meet that time when I was 5 died or that stephanie from stupid show broke up with her boyfriend

[anshubeta]

There are many reasons
It can be because they are shy or just can't be able to use social media effectively or
They don't care about others opinion or the society or
they are busy

[KieranByrne]

Can i add that some may have had an abrupt up bringing, therefore feel like society is slipping, and cannot/won't be bothered to control who the people they keep around them?

[anshubeta]

Yeah that's a perfect elaboration of my point.

[SkinnyThickLover]

For me its more forces socializing and talking in groups. OFten people dont include others and just keep the chat with thier pal. Im more small groups or i'm shy.

[jennifer_bloom]

I like socializing but I also think it is a burden - I prefer to keep a low profile because I don't like attention - I like social intimacy but not social exposure and attention

[Cherokeehp]

Because some people are bad at it, and it’s easier to say that you don’t like something rather than admit that you’re not good at it.

[Lightning8]

For some people superficial socializing drains their energy, i. e. some people are introverts. They require deeper connections and conversations whereas most people gain energy just by walking around and talking about anything.

[joleo92]

ME! I'm hardbtonthe damn core. trying to ease up on the solitude and lack of. human connection by joining sites like this!

[Lightning8]

Yeah, it is a process. I recommend Michaela Chung's books and her videos on yt also. But yeah I've found that getting my deeper thoughts out even on here helps me understand my own language better, and therefore I can socialize better and find those connections with people better

[Semasu]

I dont prefer to do it due to the fact that I already have reliable good friends and dont feel the need to have a ton

[happyhedgehog]

I think almost everyone likes socializing, just not with everybody. I can be friendly to people, but I only really enjoy being around friends and family.

[mistixs]

Because our brains aren't releasing the chemicals that make socialization a pleasurable experience for most people.

[goaded]

I don't know why, but I know I don't enjoy it much.

[markscott]

For many people, socializing is fun, and they gain energy from interacting with others.